Quotes- Into The Woods

MARIA: No, I mean it. Aren't you tired of being a slave to men? LIZ: Definitely your mom. MARIA: Tired of spending every waking moment pining over them… MARIA: We are enjoying our wild and crazy years to the fullest. You know, having fun for a change. LIZ: Yeah, but skewering my navel is not exactly my idea of fun. MILTON: Where's Max Evans? MARIA: I thought he worked for you, dude. MILTON: You...you're Max's girlfriend, right? JEFF: She is? LIZ: No, no, not really. MAX: Frazier Woods is a big place. MILTON: Not when you know where the cops are looking. LIZ: Who's Max meeting in the eraser room? MARIA: Ix-nay on the ining-pay, remember? ALEX: Ok, I give up. What are we staring at? LIZ: This is an aqua bra. Would you like to try it on, Alex? ALEX: Yeah, maybe later. ISABEL: Can't believe I'm in the eraser room with you two. MAX: Then why has Valenti already closed off a 4-square-mile area of the forest near the Indian reservation? MICHAEL: You mean near the cave? MAX: I can't believe I'm actually gonna suggest this, but we could go on that camping trip this weekend. ISABEL: If anybody found us, we would just be kids missing from our school group. JEFF: I gotta get better at this privacy thing. JEFF: And I can get to know that guy Max you've been hanging out with and, uh, he has a sister, too, right? LIZ: Isabel. JEFF: And the guy with the hair? LIZ: Michael. JEFF: Michael, yeah. LIZ: Yeah, but I really doubt they're even going. LIZ: Maria, I am begging you for mercy. Please come with me. MARIA: Dude, I told you, my idea of the great outdoors is rolling the windows down in my car on the way to the mall. HANSON: Here's your root beer, son. KYLE: Hanson, I'm 16. HANSON: I'm sorry. Here's your root beer, sir. SHERIFF: Shouldn't you be in school or something? KYLE: I have third period free, remember? We have exactly 36 minutes to buy this tent, unless something more important has come up. SHERIFF: Listen, Kyle, about this weekend... KYLE: You mean fathers' weekend, dad? The only two days in a row we spend together all year? MAX: So Riverdog saw the light? MICHAEL: The Dog himself. ALEX: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That... that's like so miraculous, you know. This is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life. LIZ: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths? ALEX: It's just...it's amazing, you know? I...it's totally amazing. It's...it's too amazing. Oh, God! Oh, g... It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it. You bastards. LIZ: Alex… LIZ: Your paranoid schizophrenia, it's... it's kicking in. ALEX: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself. MARIA: You know, getting ready for the big weekend and all. MAX: You have a big weekend? MARIA: Dates. We have dates. With men. MR. WHITMAN: But we're not really prepared. ALEX: Oh, our parkas, two sleeping bags, the wind at our backs...what else do we need? PHILLIP: Are you sure you guys really want to do this? MAX: We've been looking forward to it. ISABEL: Yeah, absolutely. (To Max:) Mosquitoes, pit toilets, and animal droppings. Yes! PHILLIP: Well, I can't say it doesn't make me happy to see you two joining in like this. ISABEL: Well, that's our new policy, dad. We're joiners. MARIA: Let's tell them that the two college guys had midterms, and we're gonna meet them next week in Albuquerque. LIZ: Maria, having a life is one thing, but having a whole fantasy life is just a little bit troubling, don't you think? MARIA: Actually, there's been a change in plans. KYLE: Dad..... Focus. Son. SHERIFF: Sorry, Kyle. SHERIFF: Jeff! Over here. Come on. We'll make a party of it. LIZ & MARIA: I don't think that's such a good idea. JEFF: Well, look, there's Alex. Come on, it'll be fun. I can get to know some of your new friends. JEFF: What are you hidin', Max? Got some power over these guys...makes 'em do exactly what you want? ALEX: It's amazing. ISABEL: What is? ALEX: Staring at the stars with you. ALEX: Since we didn't get a chance to go out on our date tonight, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something together on Friday. ISABEL: Our what? ISABEL: It can't be a date, Alex. Don't you understand? I mean, it can't be anything like that. MAX: Is this the way things are gonna be between us from now on? LIZ: I think you were the one that wanted it this way. MAX: No, I didn't. I wanted us to slow down, not screech to a halt. LIZ: I have been waiting for you to be the one to bring it up, but you don't. You're here because of the sighting, Max. MAX: Please, no one else can know. ISABEL: Oh, great. That's great. Why don't we just send out a flare? MARIA: I figured you guys would be having a little woodsy tryst. I hope you're here to talk them out of it, too. LIZ: Maria, they're here because of the sighting. MARIA: That was real? LIZ: Well, are you staying here or are you gonna come with? MARIA: You're going with them? LIZ: Make up your mind, Maria. I've made up mine. MARIA: You can't let go of him, can you? LIZ: I don't want to. MARIA: It is officially freezing out here. LIZ: Maria, it's not that cold. MARIA: Really? Really, 'cause I am now wearing an ice bra! MAX: We can't outrun them. They're too fast. ISABEL: What are we gonna do? MAX: I don't know. LIZ: No, uh, you... you guys just keep going.  RIVERDOG: You think I'm Nasedo. MICHAEL: You knew everything about us. You knew what was wrong with me when I was sick, and you knew exactly how to fix it. How do you know all those things? RIVERDOG: I'm sorry, Michael...but I'm not your father. PHILLIP: Officer, uh, you didn't find anyone else? DEPUTY: Only that guy over there. MILTON: I'm a scientist! DEPUTY: Found him wandering around the woods with a metal detector... looking for space ships. KYLE: How many times have I heard the stories, dad? How many times...? You sitting at home listening to grandma cry while grandpa spent the night chasing spacemen out in the woods? That's my role now, isn't it? KYLE: See, now I know why you never wanted to see grandpa again. Because to him you were just a low priority! MAX: What does this mean? MICHAEL: That he's back. MICHAEL: Nasedo's here. SHERIFF: Maybe you were right. Maybe you were right all along. And I'm sorry.

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