Chapter One - Ice Breaker

 

 

When I got the call, I wanted to leave right away to start touring, but there was a lot to do before that. We had to rehearse, settle the dates and venues and rent the bus. I had to leave my town in Colorado to go to Los Angeles and rehearse. The tour manager was working on getting me a hotel room until the tour started, and that the tour company “On Tour” would pay for it. They even paid for transportation and security. I made friends with the head security guard Joe, who was a very nice man.

 

When I got to LA, I was scared. I was new to the whole “nationwide performing” deal. I was early to the rehearsal. The first day of rehearsal, I saw that my kit had made it here in one piece, and that whoever put it together had done it completely wrong. I started to fix the kinks that were put there. Yes, I am the kind of girl drummer who carries a screwdriver in their purse. You never know when you’ll need to tighten a drum skin.

 

I was sitting on the stool, adjusting the drums I had just purchased. I really wanted the “Thunderstruck” sound, so I had bought two floor toms and had them mounted to the right and left of my hands. Just like Phil Rudd, my drumming Idol. The AC/DC drummer had inspired me to try and make this Clay Aiken/Kelly Clarkson tour a rocking good time! I picked up my sticks and started to rub them together between my hands to warm up the grips. I put my feet on the bass drum pedal and the high hat pedal.

 

When I get into my warm up drill, I notice nothing around me. I turn into a female Lars Ulrich or Travis Barker, and I wail. My cymbals never knew what hit them.

 

I finally stopped doing the drum solo from “I Believe in a Think Called Love” and put my sticks down.

 

“I’ll remember to bring ear plugs the next time you do that.” A voice said vaguely. I looked to the doorway. There he was, Mr. Aiken himself.

 

“Sorry, I don’t usually get to wail like that back home. This is such a huge warehouse; I thought I could go as loud as I could.” I stood up from the drum riser and walked off. “Hi, I’m Rory McCabe.” I said, extending my hand. “I’ll be your drummer for the tour.”

 

“I’m Clay.” He said, taking my hand and shaking it gently. “I’ll be your singer for the tour.” He said, smiling. “Well, I'm glad to see they found a talented drummer for the tour.” He said, smiling wider.

 

“Oh, thanks. I was just warming up.” I said.

 

“I’ll take that as a warning for when you perform.” He said, tipping an invisible hat and walking back out to the hallway.

 

Picking up a water bottle from a cooler next to the drum kit, I sat back down behind it and waited for others to show up. My drums were like a security blanket; I went no where without them, and if I did, I’d hate it. I sat, looking as melancholy as I felt, and waited. Clay came back in and smiled at me. On with the show!

 

First rehearsals always suck. I didn’t know the material, and neither did a lot of the musicians. It was basically an ice-breaker day. We got to know each other.

 

“How long have you been playing drums, Rory?” Clay asked. He was staring at me the whole time, so I wasn’t surprised that he would ask me that.

 

“I started when I was 6 years old.” I simply said. Clay wouldn’t stop staring. I guess he wanted more. “I was a musical child. Singing, guitar, drums and more recently I’m playing piano.” He kept staring. Does he want more? “End of interesting Rory life.”

 

He chuckled a little and started to talk to other people. We called for a break from trying to work and I went outside for fresh air. Beside the warehouse was a picnic table, so I climbed up and sat on the table, my feet on the seat, staring around at my surroundings. I was tempted to run around and say “I’M IN LOS ANGELES!” but I kept my cool.

 

“So where exactly are you from? You weren’t very clear about that.” He was standing behind me, his arms crossed.

 

I turned around and smiled. “I didn’t say because it’s not that interesting.”

 

“Well, I’m still curious.” He said, finally sitting next to me.

 

“Fort Collins, Colorado.”

 

“What’s not interesting about that? Colorado is very nice!”

 

“Well, I lived my whole life there. I guess I’ve had enough of it and am glad for the change.” I said fidgeting with the drumstick I had towed out with me. I flipped the stick between my fingers, spinning it like a professional. He was staring at my fingers.

 

“How do you do that?”

 

“This?” I stopped and looked at it. “You just let it glide between your fingers. It took years to learn how to do it right, and I’ve never forgotten.” I started to flip it again.

 

He was nodding his head. “Interesting.” He said. “Listen, we should get back in there. But I wanted to ask you what you were doing after rehearsal.”

 

“I’m going back to my hotel and resting up and probably going over the material.”

“Do you want to do something? Like, we could meet up here and go for dinner, or just hang out?” He asked. His eyes washed over me with curiosity.

 

I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. Do not get involved with performers.

 

“Oh, okay. Yeah.” I stuttered out.

 

“Great. So we could meet here at, say, 7 and we could go for dinner.” He said. He stood up from the bench and stood in front of me. “Let’s try to get some work done.” He said, helping me off the bench.

 

His touch was magical… Do not get involved with performers.

 

 

Chapter Two - Reading into it too much…

 

After the rehearsal, I rushed home. I had to get as far away from him as possible.

 

Being friends with him wouldn’t hurt. I think. If we could keep a friendly relationship for the tour, things would be okay. But was he interested? Why was I reading so far into this? Go out! Have fun, and for God’s sake, do not get involved with the performer!!

 

In my suite, I had a set of practice pads set up. I put on the headphones and started to wail again. I needed to get the jitters out. When I got all the nervousness out, I took off the headphones and set them down. I let the silence ride over. Then there was a knock at the door. I got up and went and looked in the peephole.

 

I opened the door and smiled slightly.

 

“Hey.” I said.

 

“I know we were going to meet at the warehouse, but I thought it may be better to surprise you.” Clay said.

 

“That was very thoughtful, thanks.” I said, I opened the door wider for him. “Do you want to come in? I still have to get changed.”

 

“Thanks.” He walked in and looked around. I had a suite with a living room and kitchen, bigger than I had ever had before. He sat down on the couch.

 

“I’ll be back in a flash.” I said, grabbing a change of clothes and running into the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it, hoping he didn’t hear that. I put my head down on the counter and took in deep breaths. I looked up at the mirror and scanned myself. A 22 year old woman, a talented drummer. I started to change and saw more to myself. I fixed my shoulder length brown hair and re-applied some make up. I slipped on the black button up three quarter sleeved shirt and adjusted my baggy jeans to put the grey belt on. I found the fanciest pair of skateboarding shoes I could find. One last look in the mirror told me that I shouldn’t get involved, but not to deny anything that could happen. But logic came back. Don’t get involved.

 

I opened the door and saw Clay behind the practice pads, headphones on, beating around like a maniac. I laughed a little. He looked up and smiled. He sipped the headphones to rest on his shoulders and laughed.

 

“I think I suck.”

 

“I think you should stick to your day job.”

 

So with that we left. He walked me down to his SUV and opened the door for me. With a smile he extended his hand and helped me inside. Oh boy… its beginning.

 

We drove to a small Italian place near the warehouse and went inside. Dinner conversations lead from music to… other things.

 

Clay smiled at me. “You know, I was dreading this tour. Not the performing, but the downtime. I didn’t want to be bored out of my mind. But I think I’ll have some one to hang out with and have Hockey chat with.” He said, taking a sip of his water.

 

“Well you’ll love me even more when I give you NHL updates. I have a mobile alert on my phone that gives me stats, scores, latest news… you name it.” I said. Oh no, did I just say ‘you’ll love me’? This can’t be happening. I’m reading into this too much.

 

“Very handy for on the road.” He looked down and smiled. “Okay, I have to confess.” He said, putting down his fork.

 

I swallowed hard.

 

“I think you’re cute, Rory. Your personality, your attitude, your professionalism, is so cute. I want to get to know you more. That’s why I asked you out.” He said, leaning over the table.

 

I panicked. “Clay. I just want to be friends. I don’t know if you want to be more than that, and how you’d want that so soon after meeting me, but know that I just want to be your friend.”

 

He leaned back in his chair and seemed disappointed. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have asked you out…”

 

“Clay.”

 

He looked up and his eyes met mine. “I am looking for a friend though.” He smiled a little.

 

“Well, you’ve got one.” He went back to pushing the food around his plate.

 

The drive back to the hotel was silent. He walked me to the elevators and made sure I got on alright.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, emotionless. He turned on his heels and walked away. I hurt him, but he should know better than to want to get into a relationship on the road. If he doesn’t know that now, I didn’t want to be the one to help him find out.

 

~~

 

The next day at rehearsals was almost like a war zone. I was focused, ready to work, but others were hung over and ready to keel over in a pool of vomit. I went back to the bench to get some air. Once again, bringing my drumstick to keep my hands occupied, I twirled it around my fingers, humming to ‘I Survived You’; a song that I had gotten down pat the night before, instead of sleeping.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” He said.

 

“Only if you promise to not sneak up on me.” I said, laughing. “Sure, what is it?”

 

“I just don’t want you to get mad at me after I ask this okay? Usually I wouldn’t ask.”

 

“Go ahead, Clay.”

 

“Are you a …lesbian?” He hesitated, looked at the others who were outside. They were staring quite inquisitively.

 

I looked out over the parking lot, looking for his car so I can slash its tires. Why would he ask me that?

 

“So, just because I wouldn’t date you, I must be in the pink mafia, right?”

 

“I didn’t mean it that way, I was just asking because…” He said, turning towards the group of people, now staring.

 

“No. Because believe it or not, just because a woman turns you down, doesn't mean that they’re a rug muncher.” I said, getting up and running back inside. I went back behind the drum kit and started to pound the snare drum, getting the anger out of my system. I broke the skin in angst. I reached into my backpack and took out the duct tape and started repairing.

 

 

Chapter Three - Close Encounters of the Clay Kind

 

He came back inside, took a sip from his water bottle and we resumed the rehearsal. I stared at him with pure loathing. I was tempted to quit. If I can’t have a working relationship with my co-workers, nothing would work. I keep the beat. If I can’t lead and keep things running smoothly, my job is gone. Who would ask such a thing?

 

But I held my head high and stayed through rehearsal. When it was over, I ran to get a cab, so I wouldn’t have any encounters of the Clay kind. I rushed back to the hotel and fell on to my bed. That was the first time in a while that I’ve wanted to quit drumming. Only when insensitive jackasses insult the crap out of me, is the only time I’d be tempted to up and leave, but I didn’t.

 

I was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels when there was a knock at the door. I got up, but forgot to check the peephole. I opened the door and Clay was standing there.

 

“I came to-“

 

I slammed the door in his face. I walked back to the couch. He kept knocking. I got back up and went to the door. I opened it and stepped out, holding the door open with my foot.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I came to apologize.”

 

“What for? For being curious? Or being a completely insensitive jerk?”

 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t the one asking. Everyone else in the band and some members of the crew wondered. They had never seen a female drummer have so much angst. They thought that if I asked then it wouldn’t seem so harsh. But they didn’t know I took you out for dinner. They didn’t… they don’t know that I like you. Sorry, it was the peer pressure.”

 

“But you could have gotten some guts and told them to ask me themselves. Because I would kick their asses… if I kicked your ass I’d be all over the tabloids.” I joked. “Clay, you’re a nice guy, but that one came from left field. I didn’t even see that one coming.”

 

“You’ve gotta believe me when I say I’m sorry. Are we friends again?” He said, extending his hand.

 

I reluctantly placed my hand in his. Touch… magic… You shouldn’t get involved, Rory. But you could. But don’t. Because you are reading into this too much!

 

“Do … you … do you want to come in?” I asked. He stepped in and I closed the door.

 

He slowly moved around the foyer and looked around. “It hasn’t changed much since I was here last.”

 

“Clay that was a day ago.” I said. He laughed and walked back to the couch. I went and sat beside him and looked around too.

 

The silence was deafening.

 

“Listen, Rory…”

 

“So the Cane’s won last night.” I said, changing the subject. He looked into my eyes and nodded.

 

“Yeah… the Cane’s finally won a game.”

 

~~~~~

 

Five weeks later, we were packing the buses and trucks with the equipment and gear. I was taking apart my drum set and placing the skins in their protective barriers. A tap on my shoulder freaked me out.

 

“Why would you do that??” I said, playfully throwing a water bottle at him.

 

“To scare you and I succeeded.” Clay said, sitting next to me.

 

Over the two weeks of nothing but daily rehearsals and late night jam sessions, Clay and I were back on a friendship level. We hung out a lot, talked about hockey, other things. It was how I wanted it to be a lot. I didn’t worry about on the road too much because we had separate buses.

 

We had a tiny bus compared to Clay and Kelly’s but it was fine for 6 people. Fairly roomy, in my opinion.

 

On our way to Charlotte, we flew, and the drivers would meet us in North Carolina. We had a chartered plane, so we could all fly together and have a pre-concert party. I sat in the chair, minding my own business, air drumming to my walkman, when he sat beside me.

 

“I have tickets to the Cane’s versus the Devils tomorrow. We could skip out of rehearsals early and go to Raleigh.” He said.

 

“Sounds great.” I said, putting down the walkman. “It should be a good game. Is Jerome okay with this?”

 

“Yeah, I have some security people in Raleigh there waiting. We can drive alone too! Relief!” He proclaimed.

 

“That sounds good.”

 

A car ride alone with Clay. Why did this scare me a bit?

 

 

Chapter Four - Chasing Rory

                       

CHAPTER DISCLAIMER: This scene, though a very powerful scene in the plot, is based on a scene from the 1997 hit movie “Chasing Amy”. Most of the dialogue is blatantly stolen from Kevin Smith’s fine work. I am not in anyway affiliated with Kevin Smith or anyone in the View Askewniverse.

 

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter.

 

PS - If Kevin Smith is reading this (which I hope you aren’t), I will probably be quoting other movies of yours in coming chapters. So, please, do not sue me. I am only trying to do your masterpieces justice, as I am a huge fan. Thank you again, and enjoy the show.

 

So I guess I should admit something. I was starting to feel something for Clay. Either it was I really loved him as a friend, or I wanted more. But deep down I knew I shouldn’t go for him. I wouldn’t let myself do that again. It would only end up in heartache. Besides, I know he doesn’t feel the same way. He can’t, I mean, he wouldn’t.

 

The drive to Raleigh was fun. We talked, and I mean a real heart to heart.

 

“Don’t get mad at me, kay?” He said.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Do you have a boyfriend right now?”

 

“Nope.” I said. “It’s slim pickings in Colorado.” I said.

 

“What about your ex-boyfriend?”

 

I paused for a moment. I should make this as vague as possible. “He’s from Quebec.” I said.

 

He seemed shocked. “A French Canadian, eh?” He said in his best French accent. “Just how did that one work?”

 

“It barely worked. He was… the drummer for a band, and once they got pretty big, we grew apart. No big deal. We weren’t meant for each other.”

 

He nodded and kept driving. “What about you?” I asked.

 

“Pretty much the same deal. Except not a drummer… or French. We just weren’t meant to be.”

 

I nodded. It had started to rain.

 

~~~~

 

The game was fun. Too much fun. We had a good time trying to pronounce the names of some of the players. But all good things must come to an end. It was time to drive all the way back to Charlotte to get back to the hotel.

 

When we went back out to the rental car, it was still raining, and even harder than before. We got in without getting too soaked, but it was just a matter of time before it rained harder.

 

I had bought a Cane’s jersey at the game, and a hockey puck that had the date on it. I looked at it for a moment and decided it needed a better home. I set it on the middle console and smiled.

 

“That is for you.” I said. He looked down and smiled.

 

“Yeah, right. I saw the look on your face when you bought that, you were more excited than a kid in a candy store.” He started to say.

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“Why?”

 

“This hockey puck is a constant reminder. It is a reminder of our friendship, of our introduction and our common bond. It’s a reminder of us.”

 

He was looking straight ahead, but he pulled over.

 

“Why are we stopping?”

 

“Because I have to say something and if I’m driving, we’d both be killed.” He threw the car in park and turned off the car. “I love you.”

 

Thunder struck.

 

“You love me?”

 

“I love you. And not just in a friendly way. I think we’re great friends, but I can’t help but love you. And not in a misplaced puppy dog way, though that’s how you’d probably put it.” He said. He stopped to look around. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Do not get involved. “I love you. Very simple, very truly.”

 

I watched the rain fall across the windshield. I reached between my legs and picked up my coat, threw it over me and got out of the car.

 

The rain was now pouring, thunder pounding all around. I stuck out my thumb and waited for another car to come onto the highway. Clay got out of the car and ran to me.

 

“Go home, Clay.” I was yelling at him

 

“Are you just going to hitchhike to Charlotte?” He yelled back.

 

“Y’ep.” I said with attitude.

 

“Well are you at least going to comment?”

 

“Here’s my comment, f*ck you!” I dropped my hand and started to run away from him.

 

“What?” He grabbed my hand. “Why?”

 

“That was so unfair; you know how unfair that was!” I yelled at him. Thunder struck.

 

“It’s unfair that I’m in love with you?”

 

“No! It’s unfortunate you’re in love with me!”

 

“Can you honestly stand here, in the pouring rain and tell me that you don’t have the slightest feeling for me?”

 

“I can tell you that I love you as a friend and nothing else. That is simple. Saying I don’t love you in another way is harder because I may just believe myself.” I yelled. We stood as the rain and thunder surrounded us. “Get back in the car and get out of here, Clay.”

 

“No, what would be so bad with believing you love me? Why would that be the end of the world?”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you!”

 

“Why would you hurt me?”

 

“Because I hurt everyone! My Midas touch is reversed Clay! I ruin lives! And they end up hurting me in return. Karma is a bitch!” I said, starting to walk away, thumb still sticking out.

 

“So I have to suffer because you’ve got a grudge against the guys you’ve dated? Now who is being unfair?” His temper was flaring. But he was right. Thunder Struck.

 

“Just go!” I said. He stopped in his tracks, threw his hands in the air and walked back towards the car. I watched him kick at the water on the ground. What would happen if I did get involved? Could this be different, because it sure does feel different?

 

I ran back towards him, pulled him to face me and wrapped my arms around him. He took my face in my hands and kissed me aggressively.

 

“I just need to be with you, Rory. You’re special.”

 

“You’re special to me, Clay.”

 

Falling in love is a scary time on two people’s lives. Forbidden Love.

 

 

*Chapter Five - Rorzilla

 

 

We stood in the rain, kissing. It started off aggressive, but became sweet and passionate. He pulled away and cradled my face.

 

“Come on. Let’s get back.” He said, walking me to the passenger side of the car and opening the door. I got in and put on my seatbelt. He raced back around and got in. He gripped the steering wheel. He was staring at me. “Rory.”

 

I turned and looked at him, still crying. “Yes?”

 

“I promise I won’t hurt you. I’m going to do my best to keep your heart in one piece.”

 

“Clay, no one can keep that promise. We can only try.”

 

“I promise to try.”

 

“Me too.”

 

He started the car and headed to Charlotte. I stared out the window until we got there. He parked in the hotel parking lot and looked at me.

 

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

 

I got out of the car and gathered my bag from the back seat. He got out too and asked again.

 

“Ror?”

 

“Come on.” I said, throwing my key card towards him. He caught it between his hands. He smiled.

 

~~~

 

He opened the door and walked inside. I put my bag of things in the closet and went into the bathroom. My usually straight hair was clumped together in wavy sections. My black t-shirt clung to my body like a magnet. I changed into the AC/DC shirt I brought with me and into a pair of jogging pants. I went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed. Clay was on the phone, with Jerome.

 

“Can you bring my bag down to Rory’s room?” Pause. “Thanks man.” He hung up.

 

“Jerome’s going to bring my stuff down here.” He said, sitting next to me. His hands were folded into his jacket pocket. “So, that was a good game.” He said, laughing.

 

“Yeah… I don’t even remember who won!” I said, wiping away stray tears that fell from my eyes.

 

“Devils. What else is new?” He said. “They’ve got Raflaskey!” He said, pronouncing the defenseman’s name wrong, instead of Rafalski.

 

“Oh well… I think now the Canes can just play and have fun instead of worrying about points.” I said. He nodded and looked at me.

 

“Rory.” He pulled my face to look at him. Our lips were inches apart. For once, I could let go. I could forget the resistance. I leaned in and kissed him. He lifted his hand and put it on my shoulder, pulling me into him. Our kiss got hotter; I started to take off his wet shirt.

 

“Aren’t you cold?”

 

“No.” He said. He pulled my chin back up and kissed my lips. “Not when I’m around you.”

 

I blushed.

 

The thunder had stopped. Now it was a light drizzle outside. There was a knock at the door. Clay ran and greeted Jerome. He stepped out slightly and I could sort of hear their discussion. When Clay came back in, he had his luggage.

 

“Since I’ve already had my shower, I’m just going to go change.” He said, excusing himself to the bathroom. I pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in. I put my arm over my eyes and laid my head on the pillows. I couldn’t believe the events of the day. He proclaimed a love for me. I didn’t say it back, but I gave him a glimmer of hope.

 

I guess in the time, I had fallen asleep. I was jolted awake when his arm came around me and he started to spoon against me.

 

“Hey...” I said.

 

“Hello.” He nuzzled his face into my neck and kissed it. “Rory?”

 

“Hmm?”

“Is Rory your given name? Or is it short for something?” He asked.

 

I laughed. “Why are you asking me this right now?”

“Just because. Curiosity hit me. Is ‘Rory’ short for something?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Lorelai.”

 

He sat up and flipped the light back on. “Really?”

 

“Yes, what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing.” He paused. I sat up beside him. “It’s a very pretty name.” He said. He leaned over and kissed me quickly and got up. He rummaged through his bag and found a piece of paper.

 

“What on Earth are you doing?” I asked.

 

He got back into bed and handed me the paper. “What’s this?”

 

“It’s a list I made of possible names that may be the long version of Rory. I was trying to figure it out.” He said.

 

I looked down and read the list. It was hilarious.

 

Aurora

Rorma

Rorzilla

 

“Why Rorzilla?”

 

“I don’t know. There are some weird people in Colorado.”

 

“So I look like a Rorzilla to you?”

 

“Yes.” He said. He kissed my cheek and took the paper from my hands. He took the pen from the bedside table and wrote Lorelai on the paper and underlined it.

 

 

Chapter Six - Devil in White

 

The next morning, we had to be at the venue at 9 am for a sound check. My drums were in great shape, the techs didn’t screw it up, which surprised me. I sat behind the drums and waited for Clay to emerge from his dressing room. The band kept eyeing me the whole time, but I drowned out their whispers and stares by warming up. The “AC/DC” way.

 

I played Thunderstruck.

 

They must have known something was going on, but probably not what they think. I didn’t even know. Were we dating? Were we exclusive? I don’t remember saying ‘Clay, I love you too, let’s get married.’ I didn’t say anything. I just kissed him that’s all. I could end it all. Simple. I could walk away from this. If I didn’t know what was going on, I can’t be blamed, right? … Right? But the more I thought about it, I didn’t need to run. I didn’t want to run, either.

 

After sound check, I went back to the hotel and showered for the opening show. I decided to hook up the laptop and see how Chuck was doing. He had been on my mind all night.

 

I pulled up his band’s website. There was a message there from him.

 

I caught wind of a certain drummer on tour right now. She is a close friend of the band and we all wish her luck. Have fun, Rory!  - - <3 Always, Chuckie.

 

Close friend, huh? I hadn’t spoken to him in a year. He just wanted another connection for touring or something.

 

*knock, knock*

 

I slammed my computer shut and answered the door. The concierge had a letter for me.

 

I opened it and read it out loud.

 

Lorelai,

 

Come to my room in 30 minutes. Room 4561.

 

C.

 

Gutsy move, Aiken. No one calls me by my full name. I finished getting dressed in the costume. White. Not the most flattering colour for me. But I was styling. A white knee length baggy shorts with a silvery belt, a white baby tee and white wrist bands, for wrist protection. Lucky for them I had white hockey tape for my fingers. Couldn’t be skimpy on protecting my instruments! If I don’t tape up my fingers, they, uhh, bleed.

 

I got my bag of things and went up to Clay’s room. I knocked twice and the door opened.

 

“Hey.” He said. “Nice get-up.” He said, smiling.

 

“They made me wear white. If it were up to me, I’d be in black.” I said.

 

“Why do drummers insist on wearing black? Who started that trend?” He asked, while closing the door behind me.

 

“Drummers have one frame of mind. Stay in the back and barely be noticed. If people can’t see me, then I don't get stage fright, and they won’t see just how much I sweat on stage.” I said.

 

“Interesting.”

He tried to kiss me, but I caught the sight of the Krispy Kremes on the table.

“Food!” I blew him off for food. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t continue. I needed nourishment. Sorry, Clay, but a girl needs food. Especially this girl. And especially Krispy Kremes!

 

I sat at the table and ate a donut. He sat across from me and stared at me.

 

“I think we need to talk.”

 

“About what? Donuts?” Idiot, idiot, idiot!

 

“No.”

 

“Well, about what then?”

 

“Last night.”

 

I swallowed hard.  “What about last night?”

 

“Why would getting involved be so bad? I know it can hurt, but why not take chances?”

 

I put the other half of the donut down. “Clay, it’s complicated. I just don’t see the fun in running. I’ve never been good at it.”

 

“When did you have to run from something like this? How would you know? I thought this was your first tour.” He said.

 

“It’s my first tour where I’m performing. I’m an old hand at this.”

 

He sat back and ran his fingers through his hair. “Were you a groupie?”

 

“Yeah, well…” I started. But he wouldn’t have it.

 

He stood up and walked around. His temper was flaring. “I hope my definition of a groupie is a hell of a lot different than what you were doing.”

 

I said nothing. Former tour slut, at your service. But sue me, I thought Chuck loved me.

 

“You did?”

 

“I was dating him, he was the only one. But things changed, so I changed.” I said. I wasn’t defending myself. I made mistakes. So what?

 

He picked up his bag and left. It was almost time to go anyway. I went back down to my room and finished packing. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be staying on the tour long.

 

~~

 

On stage, I stayed behind my barriers and did my job. He never made contact with me at all, but he did with everyone else. Got a little cozy with Angela, but I knew that was going to happen.

 

When he started to introduce the band, I became nervous. What would he say about me? Would he let his feelings and anger override his politeness?

 

“And on drums, from Colorado, Rorzilla McCabe!”

 

The crowd applauded as I showed my skills by quadruple beating every drum and symbol.

 

After the show I went straight to the band bus and found my bunk. I crawled inside and closed it off. I needed to rest up. I didn’t know what the next day had in store for me.

 

 

Chapter Seven - Just a Sham

 

 

We met up with the crew at the venue in Duluth. We had planned a breakfast to go over the night’s show. I dreaded it. I sat with the band and tapped the water glasses with my fingers. Clay sat down next to Kelly and we started talking. I kept my mouth shut. Only sixty minutes until I could talk to the tour manager.

 

“Something on your mind, Rory?” Dale, the guitarist asked. I looked up and around the table. Everyone was staring. Even Clay.

 

“Yeah. I’m trying to find another drummer for you guys.” I said. Eyes dropped and eyebrows furrowed, but only on Clay. “I think since I don’t have a great chemistry with anyone, then I should find one you’ll connect with. It’s a crucial part of the tour, and we just don’t have it right now. I think I’m a major downfall in that department.” I said.

 

“And what happens when the new drummer comes in and knows nothing?” Clay asked. “Just stay, Rory.”

 

“Clay, you know more than anyone here that I should go.” I said.

 

“I know of more reasons why you should stay.” He said. People started to scatter when the conversation got more heated. I got up and stormed out of the restaurant. Why was he turning? On minute he loves me, the next he’s walking away from me, the next he’s stopping me from walking. I couldn’t keep track of him anymore. All in 6 weeks of knowing each other. I found my hotel room and went inside.

 

The shower would wash away my insecurities. The shower would make everything okay.

 

The warmth of the water cascaded over me. It made things better. From the shower though, I could hear a pounding at the door. I decided to ignore it, and continue my shower. But the pounding in my head got louder, so I threw a towel around me and answered the door. Low and behold, Clay was there, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Can I come in?” He asked.

 

“Why?”

 

“We still need to talk.” He said, brushing past me and coming inside. “Breakfast conversation didn’t exactly go anywhere.” He said, sitting on the bed.

 

“Neither did our pre-show donut party.” I said. I went back into the bathroom and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. My hair was still wet.

 

“Why do you want to leave? I thought we were having fun.”

 

“Clay, I told you this morning. I don’t feel I have enough of a connection to effectively work with these people since they automatically think I’m either a lesbian or in love with you. And last night, you walked out on me, telling me that we can’t communicate on any level; professional or friendship.”

 

“I walked out because I heard something that scared me. You were a groupie.”

 

“Technically, yes. But I didn’t do the regular groupie thing. I was dating Chuck. We were going together, but his mind changed, so I stopped the relationship. I stayed on the tour because he was still my friend, or so I thought.”

 

He looked around. “But why?”

 

“Why date him? Or why continue a charade? Clay, I was a starry eyed drummer! I thought if I could meet a few record execs, then they’d find a band for me. But I was wrong!” I said, tying my hair back in a messy pony tail. “And if you had stuck around yesterday before the show, instead of running away from it, you would know that by now and you would have won that Scrabble game.” He looked at me and laughed. He knew I was right. He never did let me finish.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” He said.

 

“I’m sorry you thought wrong.” I said.

 

He looked up at me and pleaded.

 

“Please don’t leave. This tour is going to be so much fun.” He said. He walked towards me and took my hand. “I need those NHL updates too.” He kissed my hand and smiled.

 

I guess this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Besides, I work on the tour; I’m not a groupie anymore! I thought.

 

He walked backwards towards the bed and sat down. I was standing between his legs. He pulled my face to a kiss. It was so innocent, but pleading, begging. His lips parted from mine and his forehead rested against mine.

 

“Please, Rory.”

 

“Okay.” I said. I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around him. “I didn’t want to have to teach all that material to the new drummer. I’m too lazy.” I said. He kissed me again and fell back wards on the bed. I was on top of him. An amazing feeling, I must say!

 

“I love you, Lorelai.” He said, kissing me.

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m so used to Rory. It’s better.”

 

“Okay, but I really love the name Lorelai. It’s sweet.”

 

I kissed him back. “Thank you.”

 

 

Chapter Eight- Scrabble and Insomnia

 

 

Nights on the band bus were getting lonely. I was thinking of asking to switch. I wasn’t getting any sleep, and I wanted to be closer to Clay. When I asked him, he kept his cool, but I could tell he was excited.

 

He took me out to the bus and gave me the grand tour. His bunk really was right on top of mine. My bunk had a DVD player!! Holy cow! He showed me the back room with a kick ass game system and stereo. The TV was out in the living room area, with a DVD player. I added my collection of DVDs to their drawer. It was the entire Kevin Smith collection.

 

He watched as I organized my things in the bunk. I looked over at him.

 

“Does Kelly know about this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You told her?”

 

“In a strange way, it was her idea. She was going to ask you to come anyway, but you beat her to it.”

 

That night after the show, we went off to the bus, and people had no problems with it. The rest of the band knew that Clay and I were… were… something, and were probably holding a pool for when I would switch buses. We were on our way to Philadelphia and Kelly and Clay were in a heated battle of Scrabble. I sat on the couch and they were at the table. Kelly was in full “I’m gonna kick ass mode”. Clay was bluffing. I could tell. I stood up and pretended to walk to the bunk when I stared over my shoulder. He had some good letters. I scanned the board and saw a perfect opportunity. Q-U-I-T. Triple letter score and using the Q and the U. If only I could help him out.

 

I sat back in my spot and tried to get his attention. I was twirling my drum stick and I ‘accidentally’ dropped it in front of him. I bent over and picked it up and pinched his leg. He flinched and looked down. I used sign language and told him Q and U and I go on the T of TRANSIT.

 

He didn’t get it.

 

“Hey! No cheating!” Kelly said.

 

“I can help both of you!” I said. She looked back up at me and raised her eyebrow.

 

“You won’t double cross?”

 

“Never.”

 

“Alright! It’s my turn, so help me now!” She said, pulling me to sit next to her. I looked at her letters and pointed out three possibilities and told her to choose. Clay was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. She nodded and I sat beside Clay and looked at his letters. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. I pointed out the game winning letters and he smiled. He leaned in and whispered.

 

“Thank you Lorelai.”

 

I went to whisper to him. “Call me Lorelai again and I’ll give Kelly more options.”

 

He rolled his eyes and Kelly put down her word. Clay put down his word and counted up the score.

 

“And I win it by 15 points.”

 

“Well, that’s a first, Aiken. I’m hitting the hay. Night, guys.” She said. “We’re on for a rematch tomorrow though!”

 

We were packing up the game, throwing the letter tiles at the box. He put everything away and we sat together on the couch.

 

“We could watch a movie.” I suggested. He shook his head. He turned off the bright overhead light and lay back on the couch. He motioned with his index finger for me to lay on him. I crawled on top of him and lay across him. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beating.

 

“I would rather just sit here for a bit. Relax.” He said.

 

“I can live with that.”

 

He started to rub my head.

 

“I want to learn more about you, Rory.” He said. “I know, we’ve chatted. But I want to know everything. And it’s a long drive to Pennsylvania.”

 

~~

 

He didn’t fall asleep through my endless sob story of my life. I told him about the death of my mother, the incarceration of my father and the untimely death of my hamster. He genuinely wanted to know. He wanted to know what made me tick, and I wanted to know the same about him. Before we knew it, we were pulling into the hotel parking lot, and it was 5 in the morning.

 

“Wow… maybe we should have gotten some sleep.” I said.

 

“I was willing to make a sacrifice. Just for you.” He said. I sat up and pulled him to sit up. He placed his hand under my chin and pulled me to kiss him. Jerome came from talking to the driver and handed Clay and Kelly their keys.

 

“Jerome? Forgetting someone?”

 

“No. You’re staying with Clay.” He said. I looked over at Clay as he smiled nervously. I nudged him with my elbow and laughed.

 

“That’s a bad way to ask someone to stay with you. Just a note for next time.”

 

“I won’t have to ask next time. You’re always going to stay with me.” He said, standing up and getting his things.

 

 

Chapter Nine - A Clay Aiken Exclusive

 

 

When we stopped in New York for the Long Island show, we had a day off, so I decided to try and catch up with Chuck. I called their tour manager and got the number for his hotel.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey Chuck, its Rory.”

 

“Rory McCabe, how are you, girlie?” He asked in his French accent.

 

“Good. Thanks, listen I wanted to thank you for the words of luck on the site. Meant a lot.”

 

“No problem Lor. Where are you guys now?”

 

“NYC.”

 

“Same here. You want to go get some coffee or something?”

 

“I shouldn’t. I have to rest up, and so do you. Oh, and congrats on the Platinum in Canada.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re always right. So, how’s Clay?”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“Well… you’re dating him, right?” He asked.

 

I sighed. “You should never believe rumours.” I didn’t confirm or deny!

 

“It was clear as day. Is it true?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good for you.” He said. “Look, Lor, I gotta go. It was great talking to you. Bye.” He hung up.

 

I knew that was going to be hard. It was harder than I thought, though. I was sitting on the hotel bed, on my cell phone. Clay came back in from a radio interview.

 

“Ror? Everything okay?” He asked. He sat next to me and put his hand on my back, rubbing in a circular motion.

 

“Yeah, everything is fine. Just had to call someone.”

 

“Okay. Well, we have a sound check in an hour, but till then we can just hang out here.”

 

He lies back on the bed and put his hands behind his head. I crawled next to him and rested my head next to his arm.

 

“A full hour of doing nothing. Wow… I’m too excited about this!” I said.

 

“So who did you have to call?”

 

“Chuck.”

 

He was silent for a moment. “Okay and why is that?”

 

“Because he said something really nice on his website and I wanted to thank him for it, and congratulate the band on their platinum in Canada.”

 

“Okay, that’s reasonable.” He started laughing.

 

“Clay?”

 

“Yea?”

 

“Can I tell you something? And can you promise to not laugh?”

 

“I can’t promise anything.” He said. He turned on to his side and propped his head up on his hand. “What is it?”

 

“I lied to Chuck. I don’t think it’s great that his album went platinum, because quite frankly, it took like 4 years for that to happen. I was just humouring him and basically making me look like the bigger person. I needed the last laugh.”

 

He started to giggle.

 

“Does he know about us?”

 

“Yup.” I said.

 

“Good. Look who’s laughing now!” He said, pulling me close to him and kissing me.

 

“Clay?”

 

“Hmm?” He said, still kissing me.

 

“Am I your girlfriend?”

 

“Yes. You are.” He said, diving in for more. No pun intended.

 

He kissed me deeper. “Am I your boyfriend?”

 

I smiled at him. “Yeah, I guess you are.”

 

“Guess? You’re going to pay for that missy!!” He said, rolling on top of me and tickling me. I squirmed so much that I fell half off the bed.

 

“If I fall, I’m taking you with me, Aiken!” I said, he pushed more and I grabbed him as I fell to the floor in a loud thud. I wound up on top of him, tickling him. But the tickles turned into kisses. Heated kisses. He was sitting up, leaning against the bed, and I was on his lap, straddling his legs, with my arms wrapped around his neck. He was pulling me closer into him, his hips moving against mine. I pulled away from him and tried to catch my breath. I laid my head on his shoulder and tried to get as close as I could to him. I wanted to melt into him, but it didn’t happen.

 

“Rory…” He started to say. He was rubbing my back, and hugging me tight. “You drive me crazy.”

 

“I hope that’s a good thing.” I managed to get out.

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He said, kissing my neck.

 

~~~

 

The Long Island show was dead on. Not a single messed up beat, not a dance move not screamed at.

 

That night on the bus, Scrabble got ugly. It was Clay and I versus Kelly. I was banned from helping her. Clay’s new rule.

 

Kelly still won.

 

“I thought you were good at this game.” He said, nudging me. I was leaning into him, sitting between his legs, with him leaning against the wall of the bus. Kelly was gloating, putting the game away.

 

“I never said I was good. I just said I could help.” I said, looking up at him.

 

“Alright, boys and girls. I’m getting some sleep! I suggest you two sleep too. I heard you two talking all night.” She said, shaking her finger.

 

“Mom’s pissed!” He laughed. “Alright, we should go to bed.” We walked to the bunk area and he opened the curtain for me. I slid inside and he knelt beside the bunk. He leaned in and kissed me. “Goodnight, Rory.”

 

“’Night, Clay.”

 

 

Chapter Ten - Saying I Love You

 

“With everything that’s going on, I think I may just move to LA.” I wrote to him. My laptop with wireless internet was a miracle that I loved on the road. It meant I could keep in touch with my friends in Colorado. MSN was my drug. A habit that I could not break.

 

“Hon, no one blames you. LA is where you were born to be.” Kyle, the gayest friend I had.

 

“Thanks, listen I gotta go. I’ll give you a call later in the week, or whenever I have time off.”

 

I logged off and put the computer in my bunk, climbing inside and turning on the overhead light. Clay was sleeping above me and I really wanted to wake him up. I wanted to talk to him about the possibility of me moving to California. Not necessarily move in with him, but near him. I stood up and looked under the curtain to see him snoozing away. I poked at his arm, but he turned over and covered his face with his arm.

 

“Clay?”

 

Not a flinch.

 

“Clay, honey?”

 

He turned slightly and made a little grunting sound.

 

“Clay, look! Krispy Kreme!”

 

“Huh? What?”

 

“I knew that would wake you up.” I said, resting my arms on the edge of the bunk and resting my chin on my hands. “I wanted to talk, but if you want to sleep instead…”

 

“Get up here!” he said, reaching for my arms to help me in. I crawled in beside him, and twined my legs in his to cuddle in close. His arm came around me and held me even tighter. “What did you want to talk about?”

 

“I’ve been thinking, and…”

 

“That must have hurt.”

 

I poked his ribs and started to talk again. “I think that when the tour is over, I’m going to find a place in LA. I want to be closer to opportunities, and there’s none of that in Colorado.”

 

He took a deep breath. “Well, that’s a good idea.”

 

“I’m not saying that we should move in together. I’m saying I could move closer to you.” I said.

 

“You’re not saying that we should move in together?” He asked.

 

“No! I mean, it would be too soon. And besides, I like to think that I could get my first LA apartment and have fun with it.”

 

He giggled. “That sounds like a good idea, Rory. I would love to have you closer to me.” He said, kissing the top of my head. “I was just about to imply that you move in with me and Kim though.”

 

“I couldn’t. I mean, we just started dating.”

 

“Not in my mind. To me, we’ve been together for 7 weeks now.”

 

“Clay…”

 

“No, I’m serious. I’ve loved you since you…” His words faded.

 

“What?” I turned over on to my stomach and leaned on my elbows. “When did you fall in love with me?”

 

“I don’t want to say. It’s embarrassing.”

 

“Just say it.”

 

“When you played for the first time.”

 

“Which song was I playing? I don’t remember.”

 

“It was the drum solo from that Darkness song. I believe in a thing called love.”

 

I smiled. I leaned over and kissed him. “That’s sweet, Clay.”

 

He stared at my hand twined with his. “When will you fall in love with me?” He asked with pure vulnerability in his voice.

 

“How do you know I haven’t already?”

 

“You haven’t been too vocal about it.”

 

“I’m a drummer, Clay. I’m a very quiet person.” I said, resting my head on him. “I fell in love with you the minute you asked me what my full name was. It was caring; no one ever asked me that before.”

 

He searched my eyes for meaning.

 

I closed mine and squeezed his hand. When I looked up again, he was smiling. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Lorelai.” He kissed me again. “So will you think about moving in with Kim and me?”

 

“I promise to try and think about it. Thinking isn’t my strongest area.” I joked. He started to tickle me again. “Aiken! If I go down, you’re coming with me and it’s a good five foot drop this time!” He stopped. “Thank you.” I said.

 

He let me stay in his arms for that whole night. Kelly and the Scrabble game could wait. I was in love.

 

 

Chapter Eleven - Misery

 

I was in misery!

 

There were a few days on the tour I could have lived without. Those days were you can feel a cold coming on. Now, I hate being sick. When I get sick, I hurt everywhere. It affects my muscles, which I need on stage. I become a useless blob of mucus that someone has to poke to make sure they’re still alive.

 

Only Dimetapp would cure what ailed me, and in a tasty grape flavour!

 

When I started sneezing and coughing, I put myself into an exile. I had to stay away from Clay and Kelly. They couldn’t get sick. I put my bunk off limits to anyone. Including the dog. We didn’t need puppy snot all over the place either. If I wasn’t drumming, I was away from Clay at all costs. I missed him.

 

We were on the bus driving to Columbus Ohio, and I was in my bunk. Kleenex boxes all around me. I should buy some stock in the company…because I’m probably putting the CEO’s kid through college.

 

Clay opened the curtain and knelt next to me.

 

“How are you feeling, sweetie?”

 

I covered my mouth and nose with a Kleenex. “Awful. Clay, I don’t want to get you sick.”

 

“I don’t care.” He said, taking the Kleenex off my face. “What can I get you? We’re stopping soon, do you want some tea or maybe coffee?”

 

“No thanks, I’m fine-d. But Clay?” I even sounded like misery.

 

“Yeah?” He looked at me with sympathy.

 

“I miss not playing Scrabble with you. How she treating you out there?”

 

“She’s whooping my butt. Get better soon. I want to be able to hold you again.” He said, rubbing my arm. He kissed my feverish forehead and rubbed the hair from my face. I gave a half smile and he closed the curtain. I closed my eyes and easily fell asleep. I needed to perform the next day.

 

~~

I waddled into sound check just in time. I was sort of ready to go, but probably going to be bad performing. I walked on to the stage to see Dale the guitarist trying to play drums, but I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

 

“POD called, they want their beats back.” He laughed and moved out of the way and I started to warm up. Whoever put my kit together was learning. It was perfect.

 

I warmed up and tried to go as speedy as possible, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I would have had to have a Kleenex box attached to my high hat. Clay came on stage and walked up to the drum kit.

 

“Come on.” He said, extending his hand. “I found someone to fill in for you.” He said, walking me off stage.

 

“Who?”

 

On walked Chuck.

 

“Hey Rory.”

 

“Hi.” I said nasally.

 

“I hope you feel better soon.” He said, getting behind the drums and adjusting the stool. Clay grabbed my hand and we walked backstage.

 

“What are you doing?” I stopped him. “Are you insane-d?” That extra nasal ‘D’ tagged along a lot lately.

 

“What? You’re getting time to get better.”

 

“I’m fine-d.” I tried to say fine, but my nasal voice wouldn’t have it.

 

“Alright. If you can say that you are fine, I’ll let you go on stage.” He said, crossing his arms. He knew I was too sick to go out there, and deep down I knew it too, but dammit, I didn’t want Chuck here.

 

“I’m … fine-d.”

 

“Go. Hotel key is with Jerome. He’s in the dressing room waiting for you.” He said, pushing me down the hall. “There’s also a ticket waiting for you if you want to see the show live. That is if you’re fine-d.” He said, making fun of me.

 

I went to the hotel and had a nice long bath. I really did feel fine-d, why would Chuck be there? Why would Clay do this to me? Was he trying to pry him for information?

 

When it was nearing show time, I went back and found Jerome and watched from the wings. I probably looked the way I felt. Miserable. But I stood and watched. Kelly was on first. Chuck oddly knew the songs. Impressive. I never doubted his ability as a drummer, but I wanted to be out there.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

I turned around and saw him. “Why do you do that? Sneak up and scare a poor sick girl.” I said.

 

“You’re sick. Go rest.”

“I wanted to watch the show. See how it is when I’m not drumming.”

 

“You need your rest, Ror.”

 

“Why did you ask Chuck to come?”

 

“Because he was in town and offered when I met him and told him you were sick.”

 

“Where did you meet him?”

 

“At a radio station. He was going in for an interview after I had one.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“And he can only do it once, so you need to get better.” He said. He felt my forehead and leaned down to look in my eyes. “Your fever is going down. That’s a good sign.”

 

“I can play tomorrow. I’ll be ready.”

 

“Okay.”

 

He took my hand and brought me back to the dressing room. He found a blanket and wrapped me in it. He was about to go on stage. He kissed my forehead and left. After a few minutes, I threw the blanket off of me and ran back to the wings.

 

 

Chapter Twelve -Peachy

 

 

I watched as Chuck played my drums. I was never allowed to play his drums, why should I let him wail on my drums? Okay, now I was just being childish. I sat down in my seat that Clay had set aside for me. I was sitting right beside a girl, probably mid teens, wearing a Clay t-shirt. During the intermission, she tapped on my shoulder.

 

“Aren’t you the drummer?”

 

“Yeah, I have the night off to get better.”

 

“Is that Chuck from down Conspiracy on drums?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“You used to date him right?” Okay, too much information to feel comfortable with.

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Since you’re with them on tour, you’d know if he and Kelly were dating, right? Are they?”

 

“Nope.” I said with pride.

 

The show continued and Chuck was getting better with the material. It came to the part when Clay was introducing the band.

 

“And filling in for Rorzilla McCabe, who is feeling under the weather, from the band down conspiracy, Chuck Labelle.”

 

Crowd went wild.

 

I went straight back to the show before it even ended. I just needed to get out of the loud room for my head’s sake. I threw myself onto the bed and covered myself in a blanket. I heard Clay come in and set his things down on the floor.

 

“Rory?”

 

“Hmm?” I muffled into the blanket that covered my face.

 

“How are you feeling?” He said, kneeling beside me again.

 

“I’m peachy.”

 

“Come on, Jerome is going to take you to the emergency room.”

 

“Clay, I’ll be fine-d.” There was my little speech impediment friend.

 

“You’re going. See if they’ll give you some antibiotics. Drop my name so you’ll get seen faster.”

 

“You can’t come with me?”

 

“I’d get mobbed, Rory.” He said.

 

“No, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but antibiotics can cause breast cancer. I don’t do antibiotics. I don’t need any more risk.”

 

He was silent. He had his hand on my leg. “Okay. Well then, let’s go out to the bus.”

 

He extended his hand and pulled me up out of bed.

 

Once we got to the bus, I put my things back in the bunk and took some Echinacea. That would help.

 

I sat in the living area and watched Clay and Kelly set up the Scrabble board.

 

“If you can stay awake long enough, come play.” Clay said, patting the seat next to him. I nodded and he shifted so I was sitting resting against him, his arms around me. 

 

~~

 

I woke up the next morning with more energy than I had in a few days.

 

“Are you going to play tonight?” Kelly asked.

 

“You bet.” I said. Clay was watching our conversation from his bunk.

 

“Doing better, Rory?”

 

I looked up at him and smiled. “I’m fine.”

 

“The ‘d’ is gone!” He announced “YAY! You can perform tonight.” He said, rolling out of his bunk and landing on the floor. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor, but just as he did it, the bus veered left and we fell into the wall. I was leaning against him and he looked down at me. Kelly was already out of our way.

 

“May I kiss you yet?”

 

“I may be feeling better, but I’m still sick. You shouldn’t. But…” I looked around. “I’m not going to stop you.”

 

He smiled and leaned down. His lips gently covered mine in a sweet kiss.

 

“I missed kissing you.” He whispered. 

 

“I missed you too.” I said.

 

We got off the bus and went inside the venue. I got back behind my drum set and started to wail “I Believe in a thing called Love” again. The band applauded. Rory was back!

 

 

Chapter Thirteen - The Best Five A.M., EVER!

 

 

That night’s show was better than I expected. I was still sick, but I was able to still do my best. How could I not play Detroit Rock City?

 

We stayed at a hotel that night, and I was finally able to sleep not moving down a highway. Being sick on a highway was never fun. The hotel room was filled with my Kleenex boxes from wall to wall. I laid on the bed and let my face drown in the pillows. I was lying on my stomach when I felt his hands on my lower back massaging me. I lifted my head and looked over at him. He smiled.

 

“Hey, you.” He said.

 

“That feels nice.”

 

“Just relax, honey.”

 

He massaged my back and neck, pushing my t-shirt out of the way and kissing my lower back. He pushed the shirt up higher and kissed my shoulder blades. He then smoothed my shirt back down and stopped massaging me.

 

“That felt great, Clay. You have magical hands.”

 

“Why thank you, Rory.”

 

I sat up and sat next to him, facing him.

 

“Thank you for taking care of me.” I said, rubbing his leg. “It’s been a while since someone cared for me when I was sick.”

 

He looked down at my hand and took it in his. “Chuck never cared for you when you were sick?”

 

“That would be asking too much.” I said. “No, he didn’t.”

 

“You’re very welcome.” He said kissing my hand. He turned and looked at the clock. “We should get some sleep. We have to be on the bus by 6 am. It’s going to be a heck of a drive to Winston-Salem.” I went into the bathroom and changed, washed my face and took more Echinacea. When I opened the door, he was already turning down the bed, and sliding inside. I went to my side and slid in too, my back towards him. I fell asleep instantly.

 

I woke up some time later feeling his arms around me. My head was resting on his bare chest. I raised my head and searched for the clock. Five A.M. I put my head back down and cuddled in close to him again. My movements woke him up.

 

“Morning, sweetie.” I said.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Five A.M.”

 

“Oh. I wasn’t aware that there were two.” He joked. “How did you sleep? Feeling better?”

 

“Yeah, much better.” I said. “I woke up like this, how can I not feel great?” I said, poking at his stomach.

 

“I got hot, so I took off my shirt.”

 

I dramatically looked around the room. “I don’t see anyone complaining.” We laughed together. “Come on, we should get ready to go.” I said. I tried to get up, but Clay pulled me back to him. He tipped my face up and kissed me. It was sweet but passionate. Light, but still deep.

 

“Okay, now you can get up.” He said, releasing me from his grip.

 

I rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom. I had a shower and got ready for a day on the highway. I put on a long sleeve t-shirt and a black t-shirt over top of it, and a pair of baggy jeans. I was a skater alright. Well, it’s true. I was. I just didn’t bring my board. When I walked out, Clay was dressed and stuffing things into his bag. He looked up at me and laughed.

 

“I hate folding.”

 

“Don’t we all?” I said, putting my bag next to him on the bed. “I don’t think I’ve folded something in… ever.”

 

He smiled and looked inside my bag. “That’s true.” His eye caught something. My cell phone was beeping with a Text Message. He picked it up and looked at the display. “What kind of NHL news do they have now?” He read the message. Then he handed it to me.

 

I looked at it and laughed. “Wade Belak getting in troubles… what else is new?” I said. I put the phone down and looked around, looking for anything else I may have forgotten. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit on his lap.

 

“You’re dressed weird today.” He said.

 

“Thanks, you too.” He laughed.

 

“Can I ask a favour of you?”

 

“Always.”

 

“I’m going to be bringing my mom out to tomorrow’s show and we’re having dinner before hand…” Oh, he better be asking me to watch the dog. Please let him be asking me to watch the dog… for the love of all things holy, please let it be the dog! “… and I want you to come with us.”

 

Won’t Raleigh be lonely? I could stay with her. Okay, think. Oh, just go! I thought.

 

“I’d love to, Clay.” I said, feigning interest.

 

“Good.” He said, kissing my cheek and lifting me off him.

 

But, what about Raleigh??

 

 

 

Chapter Fourteen - Girlie Tomboy

 

We made it out to the bus in one piece, but just barely. There were fans everywhere. They saw us together. They apparently didn’t think much of it. I was the drummer! Who would date the drummer?

 

I put my things in the bunk and sat back on the couch in the back room. I turned on the stereo and read a magazine. Kelly came in and closed the tiny partition. Clay tried to come in, but Kelly kicked him out.

 

“Sorry, buddy! Girl talk.” She said, pushing him out.

 

“Alright. I know when I’m not needed.” I heard him say. Kelly sat across from me and leaned in.

 

“Are you in love with him?”

 

“I think so. It’s so fast; I don’t know what I’m feeling.” I said.

 

“Rory, he loves you. And I mean, head over heels for you. For example, when you were sick, he moped around kicking air, waiting for you. When you were still on the band bus, he would literally, and I mean literally, pry me for the driver’s cell phone number so he could call you. It was my idea for you to come here. He doesn’t care if it’s too fast. So you are in love with him?”

 

“I guess so. I’ve never felt so… girly before.” I said.

 

“Good. I don’t want to see his heart get broken.”

 

“Is this the big sister talk?”

 

“Yes. Now the next order of business…”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“To make fun of Clay behind his back!” She yelled. Clay opened the partition and ended the madness.

 

“Okay, that’s enough girl talk for one day.” He said, taking my hand and pulling me back to the bunk area. Kelly scooted past us and said she would be getting out the Scrabble board. He still had my hand in his grip, and his other hand pulled me against him.

 

“I heard what you said.”

 

“What did I say?”

 

“That you love me and that you’ve never felt girly like that.”

 

“uh-huh. And?”

 

“I want to know what that means.”

 

“It means you make me feel special. You make me feel…” He covered his lips with mine. “Loved.”

 

“You are loved.”

 

We walked into the living area and Kelly stopped me from sitting with Clay.

 

“Tonight’s game will be a battle of the sexes. Two women against one man.” Kelly said.

 

“Very intriguing!” I said. I looked at Kelly and laughed. “Prepare to lose, Clay!”

 

“You two are not nice.” He said pouting.

 

~~

 

An hour later, we were winning. Clay was pouting, but we were stopping for lunch. I decided to take this opportunity to take some time to myself and go shopping. I needed a skateboard. I missed my board back home, so I wanted to go and get a new one, since I was making some money.

 

When I got back to the bus, I did some tricks in the parking lot. Now, I’m not that good. I can ride it, I can sort of flip it, I can do some rail stuff… but other than that, I usually wind up flat on my face.

 

Clay and Kelly came out from where they ate and watched me roll around the bus. Clay had a confused smile on his face. I skated over to him and flipped the board from under my foot into my hand.

 

“What? Never seen a girl skater before?”

 

“Not one that good.” He said. He leaned in and kissed me and looked at my gold and red board. “Do you want some lunch?”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to grab something in a minute. I just needed to try out the board.”

 

“How? Where?” Kelly asked. “How does a girl learn to drum and skate?”

 

“In Colorado with boys all around me.” I answered simply. “I’ll meet you guys in there.” I said, rolling to the entrance of the fast food restaurant. Clay looked genuinely surprised. I wonder if the fact that I was a blatant tomboy was settling in yet.

 

 

Chapter Fifteen - CSPAN and Nervousness

 

 

I brought my strawberry milkshake and fast food back to the bus and put my board in the closet. I sat at the table and ate my food, watching the TV. Clay was in the back room on the phone.

 

I have this weird thing I do. I watch CSPAN. Well, I don’t watch it per se, but I leave it on in the background. Something about politics and the crazy world of televising this boring daily political banter is just so irresistible.

 

Clay came out of the back room and looked at me. “Uhh… Ror?”

 

I took a bite out of a fry and looked up at him. “Yes?”

 

“Might I remind you that you’re watching CSPAN?”

 

“Oh, that I am.”

 

“Yeah. And can I remind you that you just bought a skateboard?”

 

“Correction, a new skateboard. Not like my other one.”

 

“Okay. I should have realized how weird drummers were.”

 

“It’s something that really should be taught in kindergarten.” I quipped. I patted the seat next to me and motioned for him to sit next to me. “I know what you’re thinking. ‘This crazy chick is going to get weirder and weirder.’ But I swear that’s it. I learned to skateboard in the third grade, been sort of attached to it ever since.”

 

“When I was in the third grade, I was obsessed with not eating glue.”

 

“Why? It’s great for your system. And don’t even get me started on the wonders of mud.” I joked. His arm came around my shoulder and squeezed me against him.

 

“You are so strange. But I love you.”

 

I crammed a fry into my mouth and said that I loved him too. He walked away shaking his head in disbelief and I went back to watching CSPAN.

 

~~

 

That night we got into Winston-Salem and went straight to the hotel. Clay’s mom was already there, and would meet us before she and Clay went to spend some time alone together. It would be less nerve wracking for me so I would have an idea of what she was like before we went for dinner.

 

I thought that to make a good first impression, I shouldn’t look like I just rolled off a bus. I left my hair down to see it was naturally wavy, put on a hooded sweater and nice hip hugger jeans. Clay noticed right away what I was doing and came up behind me in the tiny bathroom.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Getting dressed.” I said, pulling the shirt over my body, hiding my shirt that said ‘Skateboarding is not a Crime’

 

“Yes, but why? Why like this? I hope you’re not trying to impress the bell boy at the hotel.”

 

“Clay. I’m meeting your mother. I’ve…” I covered my face with my hands. “I’ve never met my boyfriends’ mother before.”

 

He turned me around and sat me on the counter. “Lorelai…”

 

I smiled when he called me by my name.

 

“She’s going to love you! She already thinks you’re talented, because she saw you play in Raleigh. She already thinks you’re sweet because I talk about you to her non-stop. She will love you. I promise.” He kissed my forehead and backed out of the tiny closet of a bathroom. I finished getting ready and sat down on the couch as we pulled into the parking lot for the hotel. There were some fans scattered throughout the parking lot, but security had already had them covered. But it did leave out walking with Clay to the lobby holding his hand. But I could make that sacrifice.

 

I stepped off the bus and walked quickly to the entrance. I was in front of everyone else, and then I felt a hand touch my lower back. I turned and saw Clay. He came up to me and whispered in my ear. “Don’t worry. Calm down, Lorelai.”

 

I looked back at him and smiled.

 

“Thanks.” I said. We walked into the lobby and checked in. I went up to the room while Clay left to find his mom. I did one last check in the mirror and made sure I was presentable. I heard the key in the door and rushed out to make it look like I was busy. The only thing I could think of to do last minute was to break out the screwdriver and adjust the bearings on my board. Not a good idea, so I put it down and reached for my cell phone.

 

They walked in and Faye came right to me. “Hello, Rory! It’s so nice to meet you!”

 

“You too, Mrs. Parker.” I said. Clay came beside me and put his hand on my back. I needed it there for reassurance.

 

We chatted briefly but my cell phone rang suddenly. I looked at the display. It was a name I wished to see come up on my phone for months.

 

“I have to take this.” I exclaimed. I was sincerely happy they were calling. “Please excuse me.” I said, walking out to the balcony.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Rory? It’s Andrea.”

 

“How are you?”

 

“I’m a mommy!”

 

I screamed my girly squeal and jumped around. “Boy or girl?”

 

“A girl. Rory, she’s beautiful. When can you get out here?”

 

“I’ll be in Denver on the 13^th. That will give you time to get settled in at home with Ryan.”

 

“Thanks, Rory. Jennifer Leigh and I will be waiting for you.”

 

“I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

I hung up and saw that Clay and his mother were still in the room. I walked back in and Clay looked at me inquisitively.

 

“Who was that?”

 

“My best friend Andrea. She had a baby girl.”

 

“Hence all the screaming.” Faye said.

 

“I would have thought you missed something good on CSPAN!” Clay joked.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen - Good experiences are hard to find.

 

 

Dinner went better than expected. We chatted about my family, or what remained of it. Clay knew of my family woes. I was an only child, mother died, father in prison. What I didn’t tell him was that I lived in a group home for 7 years, until I was old enough to go on my own. He assumed that I lived with grandparents or something. Faye asked me how I got into music.

 

“During high school I saw auditions for the choir. I was glued to it. Then at the auditions I saw the drum set and again, was glued. I was taking singing and drum lessons at the same time. Music was always in my blood, I just needed one tiny poster for an audition to bring it out.” I said, sipping my water.

 

After dinner, we had to get ready for the show. I was getting dressed in the bathroom and when I walked out, Clay was leaning against the wall.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“Tell you what?”

 

“About living the group home.”

 

“I didn’t tell you because to me it’s not a big deal. I think it gave me a strong understanding of what a lot of kids go through, and that it isn’t like on TV. Saved by the Bell was dead wrong.”

 

He reached for my hand, but at the same time, the wrangler called out for the band to hit the stage. 

 

“We can talk later, Clay.” I said, reaching for my drum sticks in my back pocket and rubbing them between my hands.

 

~~

 

After the show, I skated through the hallways, and out the door. There were a bunch of fans asking for my autograph.

 

“Why me?”

 

And then they started to list reasons like ‘you’re an amazing drummer.’ ‘You’re on tour with Clay’ ‘I want to be a drummer and you inspire me!’

 

I signed a few and Clay came out behind me. Screaming ensued. I let Clay talk to the fans and I skated to the bus. I got settled in and I waited for Clay to get on the bus. Kelly came on and was already in her bunk, reading a magazine waiting.

“Are you game for Scrabble tonight?” Kelly asked.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Right on. How did dinner with Faye go?”

 

“Better than I thought it would. I mentioned something that kind of freaked out Clay though.”

 

“What could freak him out?”

 

“I failed to mention to him earlier that I grew up in a group home. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I guess it came from left field.”

 

“Honey, it’s just that you seem like you come from a happy family, and that you were raised by relatives who loved you. That’s what I thought. You just don’t seem like the ‘grew up on the verge of the streets’ person. You’re way too nice.”

 

“Surprising, I know.”

 

“Just talk to him, sweetie. He just wants to know more about you.” She said. Then Clay came on the bus, putting down his bag on the couch. The bus started to pull away as he made his way back to the bunk area. I was sitting in my bunk and watching him make his way around the bus. Kelly was just staring, waiting for something to happen.

 

“Who’s for Scrabble?” She said, hoping out of her bunk and running to get the board. I climbed out of the bunk and found Clay sitting at the table.

 

“Clay… if you want to ask me anything about the group home, you can. I can handle it”

 

He looked over at me. A tiny smile melted my heart. “Okay.”

 

I settled in beside him and over the game of Scrabble, we talked about my childhood.

 

“It scared me because I’ve seen kids who grow up in group homes, and the stories are almost never good.”

 

“Then I guess I’m the example of having a good experience. I never got into anything I shouldn’t have. I went to drum and singing lessons, I learned to skate board, and I saw a possible profession for myself. I looked up to those supervisors and social workers and said ‘I want to do that. I want to help kids like me.’”

 

“Do you still want to be a social worker?” Kelly asked.

 

“A little. Drums are my life. I can’t see not playing. We’ll see what happens.” I said.

 

After we lost the game to Kelly, Clay and I went into the back room to watch a movie in peace. He held me in his arms as we watched Dogma. He was toying with my hair around my ears and pulled it aside. He started to kiss my ear and neck.

 

“Someone is awfully cuddly tonight.” I whispered.

 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, still kissing around my ear. His hands were rubbing my sides.

 

“What exactly are your intentions for this evening, Mr. Aiken? Not interested in watching Dogma?”

 

He said no. I turned around and kissed him. His hands cradled my face and pulled me into a deeper kiss. He laid out on the couch and I climbed on top of him, feeling him against me all across my body. He pulled me to kiss him again, our tongues mashing together. With every heated kiss, the less balance I had. I fell off him.

 

“Rory? Are you okay?” He asked, looking down off the couch.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“This isn’t the best time to do this, I guess.”

 

“No.”

 

He came down on to the floor with me and let me fall into him. He held me close to him as he started to hum a tune.

 

 

Chapter Seventeen - Should I stay or should I go now?

 

 

We had a break in touring and Clay would be going to Los Angeles. I knew I had the opportunity to go back home to Colorado for a few days, but Clay never said anything about me coming with him to California. I knew that I needed to go home, but if he wanted me to, I would cut my trip short for him. I’d do that in a New York minute.

 

“Do you want me to come to LA?” I asked him. He looked at me, but his eyes were sad.

 

“I do want you to come with me,” He started. “But, I don’t think you should. If people see us together when we’re not touring, then, we’ll be out there, in the tabloids. Next week you could be my girlfriend, the next you could be carrying my love child. I don’t want to face that right now.”

 

“So, when we’re done touring completely, it’s ‘so long, farewell, nice knowing you?’” I said, gripping my drum sticks tight. I was sort of being sarcastic, but I also wanted to hear his response.

 

He sighed. “Rory, I don’t want to us to be in the spotlight. You said it yourself, drummers hate the spotlight.” He was laughing, hearing my sarcasm, but I guess I was being serious.

 

“That’s not what you said. Your words were ‘If people see us together when we’re not touring…’ Somehow I get the impression that you don’t want this to last past the middle of April.”

 

“Not at all Rory. I just want you to go home for a bit. It’ll only be a few days.”

 

I nodded. I said goodbye to him and told him when I would be back. He gave me a quick kiss and was interrupted by his cell phone.

 

I walked off of the bus and away from him. We were allowed to fan out for a few days, and then meet up in Texas. I caught the next plane back to Denver. I had a new friend to visit. That and I had some thinking to do.

 

On the plane, I stared out the window and relived the words Clay said to me. To me he sounded scared to put himself out there and still hold my hand, knowing full well that I was behind him the whole way. Hollywood is a scary place. Chuck told me so.

 

I started to doubt everything. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I knew that doing this, being with someone of celebrity could hurt my feelings again, but why didn’t I listen? Was it the confidence that Clay feigned? Was it the thrill of touring? Was it the heartbreak he caused when he begged me to stay on tour with a simple kiss?

 

I still thought as I drove up to Andrea’s door.

 

“Rory?”

 

“Hey Drea!”

 

“I thought you were on tour! Come in and see Jenny.” She said, opening the door and leading me to the bassinette holding a sleeping child.

 

“I have a few days off so I came out to see you. Drea, she’s beautiful!” I said, picking her up gently. I held her in my arms and rocked her back and forth. “How are you and Ryan?”

 

“We’re great. Ryan is picking up Rene from the airport. He should be back in a few minutes.”

 

I set Jenny back down and Drea and I went and sat at the kitchen table.

 

“How is this Clay Kelly tour? From your email it sounds like a lot of fun.”

 

I cracked my fingers. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

 

“Ror? What’s wrong?”

 

“You know how I said I would never fall in love with a performer ever again?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“I broke that.”

 

“No! You and Clay?”

 

“Yeah. It all started so fast. I knew I shouldn’t but it felt so different. So much better. But I think I was wrong.” I said, running my hands through my hair. “After our last show, he was leaving for LA, he’s doing Idol and a bunch of other things, and I asked him if he wanted me to come with him. He said no, and that it would be bad if people saw us together when we’re not touring.”

 

“What an ass.” What a nice ass. I thought

 

“I know. I took it as a sign that he didn’t want to be with me when the tour was done. And he didn’t exactly deny it, either.”

 

“What a giant ass!” No, it’s a perfect size. Oh, not what she meant.

 

“I know.”

 

“So he didn’t say anything?”

 

“No.”

 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Rory. I know you must care about him to want to do that for him. All I know is that you need to tell him that you are serious about it, and if pushing him away a little bit is the answer to it, and then you’ll know.”

 

 

Chapter Eighteen - Solitaire

 

 

I was sitting back home in Fort Collins with my friend Kyle. He was in love with American Idol. I was in love with a product of American Idol. We were a perfect match.

 

“When is he going to be on?”

 

“It’s an hour long show, probably not for a while.” I said.

 

“So you’re really dating him? Like, you’re in love with him?”

 

“Yes, but he said that he doesn't want us to be in the spotlight and basically said he doesn’t want this to last passed April. It’s just so hard.” I whined.

 

“Whoever said life wasn’t hard was sadly mistaken.”

 

We watched as they recapped the previous night. Kyle and I fought over who would get booted. But Ryan stopped us as he introduced Clay.

 

His performance was flawless. He was perfect. Kyle was staring at the screen and listening to the tiny interview on the Idol stage. I put my head in my hands and started to cry.

 

“You have to tell him, Rory. You can’t go on knowing that he would want to push you away from him when all this is said and done. You know that he’s hurting you. You wouldn’t be scarfing down Rocky Road ice cream during American Idol if you weren’t hurting, and no one hurts my Rory and gets away with it.”

 

~~

 

I flew into Grand Prairie the next morning. We met up at the venue and I started to rehearse. While at home I was able to pick up a few things for the drum set. Like a cowbell. Every good version of “When Doves Cry” has at least a few beats on the cowbell. I was installing the new equipment when Dale came on stage.

 

“Dale! I need to talk to you!” I said, running out from the drum set. I grabbed him and brought him into the corner. “Is my bunk still available on the bus?”

 

“Yes, why?”

 

“Because I’m taking it back.”

 

“Are you and Clay still??”

 

“No. I’m separating us for a little bit.” I said. He didn’t ask why. He just reassured me that I would have a bunk on the bus available and he would help me bring my stuff over.

 

I had talked to Clay before I left Colorado, and he felt the distance. He knew how I felt. He hung up on me.

 

I saw Clay come on stage, looking around for me. I didn’t make any eye contact. I just sat behind the drum set and adjusted the symbols mindlessly. I could feel his eyes on me, staring me down. I looked up and there he was, on the stairs staring.

 

“Can I talk to you later?” He asked.

 

“No.”

 

“Please?”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Clay. The conversation is over. We need distance. We went into this way too fast and...”

 

“Rory, please don’t do this…”

 

“Clay, I’ll do my job and you’ll do yours. Let’s just leave it the way it was supposed to be.”

 

I counted to four and started the first song. He was still staring at me. But he turned around and started to sing. He kept staring at the floor during the 3 song sound check. When it was done, I rehearsed with Kelly. Afterwards she came up to me.

 

“You know, I heard what he said.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“That you shouldn’t be seen when not on tour.”

 

“And?”

 

“And it was extremely insensitive of him. I couldn’t believe it. If he doesn’t want you later, then he so doesn't deserve you now!”

 

“You are the second person to tell me that!”

 

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed. “Great minds think alike.”

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him so much. I should have listened.”

 

“Your heart drowned out your conscience. No one can blame you. I know you care about him, but if he’s not in this for the long run…”

 

“Then he’s not worth it.”

 

I walked backstage to the band dressing room and plopped on the couch. I didn’t know what was going to happen next. The next thing I know, Clay comes bursting through the doors.

 

“Lorelai, we’re not done talking.”

 

The band looked around. They hadn’t known my name was Lorelai.

 

“Come with me.” He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his dressing room. “What is wrong with you?”

 

“Nothing is wrong; I just see that we should slow things down. Things were said and way too prematurely. Then you said what you felt and I now see that and I agree.”

 

“Rory, please. I only said that because after the tour, I’d want some time off from the spotlight to catch my breath. I still want to be with you, and I love you.”

 

“No. No way, Clay. You … you…” I looked for all the necessary exits. “You shouldn’t want to be with me. You and I both need some time, and then we’ll see. I’m not going to let you toy with my emotions if I can avoid it.”

 

He grabbed my hands and held me between himself and the wall. He had me pinned. I had no where to go.

 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. I wasn’t lying when I asked you to move in with me. I wasn’t lying to my mother when I told her you were the only woman I’ve ever met that made me think about a future. I definitely wasn’t lying when I held you in my arms and made you feel loved.” His face was so close to mine. Our lips were mere inches apart.

 

“I’m sorry, Clay. I can’t let my heart get broken again, so we need some distance. I do love you, but we need to let this new love just calm down a bit. If we lost it this quickly, I don’t think I could handle it.”

 

He let go of my hands and let me go. I opened the door and went back to the band dressing room, and started to cry.

 

 

Chapter Nineteen - Sunday Bloody Sunday

 

 

I was dressed in my white t-shirt and skater shorts, grey running shoes and white wristbands. I was sitting on the floor of the hall taping up my fingers. Clay walked in front of me and squatted next to me.

 

I looked up and met his glare.

 

“Break a leg.” I said.

 

“Tonight, we’re talking about this.”

 

“I hope you have fun talking to yourself. Dale already moved my stuff from the bus to my old bunk on his.”

 

“Rory…”

 

I looked up at him again. “Break a leg.”

 

~~

 

Well, jealousy reared its ugly head. The dance during When Doves Cry was even sexier than any other night. I just looked at him dancing with Angela and laughed. He started looking at me and winked. I almost fell off my stool.

 

After the show I changed and headed to the band bus. I looked on there, but none of my things were there.

 

I stormed to his bus and ran on. Clay was standing next to my bunk.

 

“Let me get my stuff.”

 

But the door closed and we started moving.

 

“Not until I tell you one thing. Please.”

 

“I guess I have no choice now. It’s a long drive to St. Louis.” I sat down on the couch in the back room and Clay closed off the door. “Where’s Kelly? And Jerome?”

 

“On the other bus. They’ll get on when we stop in a few hours.” He sat down next to me and took my hand in his. I pulled it away immediately.

 

“Lorelai… I want to be with you. I want to see us together for a long time, I do. I want to spend as much time with you as I can, I just don’t want to be chased for photos or pestered about my love life, and yours. I’m trying to keep it real. Yes, I do want to spend some time alone, but when I say that, I mean with you. I never want to be apart from you.”

 

I kept staring at the floor. I folded my hands together and realized that my fingers were still taped up. I started to peel off the tape, suddenly realizing that I had done them wrong, because Clay was watching me tape them. My fingers were bloody and bruised.

 

“Rory?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m sorry I said something stupid. I’m so sorry.” He said. He was searching for my eyes. I looked over at him.

 

“I know you’re sorry, Clay. But it doesn’t change my theory about you. I think you are just using me as a cure to your loneliness on tour.”

 

“Pardon me, but I think your theory is bullshit.”

 

I took off the rest of the tape and clumped it into a big ball.

 

“Then why me?”

 

“Because you make me think. How can this, skater drummer who watches CSPAN while she eats actually be in front of me, and be so real? You’ve got my head spinning all the time, and at the end of the day, I look at you, playing drums, in all your beauty, and I think ‘why does she want to date a guy like me? I must be dreaming.’ You are so beautiful and so intelligent; any man would be a fool to throw you out.” He looked down at my hands and got up and got a wet towel. “I love you, Lorelai. But if you think we need to slow things down, I will do that. Reluctantly, but I will.”

 

He was wiping away my blood. I looked up at him and locked to his gaze.

 

“I love you too, Clay. I think I always will.”

 

“And, when the tour is done, you’ll move to LA, right? And we can spend some time together. Incognito of course.” He said, smiling.

 

“We’ll have to see about the moving thing.”

 

“Okay. We’re good?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry I got all bitchy. Maybe it’s just life on the road.” I said, slouching over and resting my head in my lap. He started to rub my back.

 

“It can get the best of everyone.” He said. I sat back up and threw my arms around him. He closed his arms around me and laid his head in my shoulder. “We can make it, baby.” He reassured. I sat back and examined the damage on my fingers. He pulled my chin to meet his face. He drew closer and kissed me gently. After a few moments alone, Clay’s cell phone rang.

 

“Hello?” Pause. “Hey Kel..” Pause. “No, things are fine.” Pause. “Okay, see you in a bit.”

 

“We’re stopping for food.” He said. He kept looking at my fingers.

 

“I’m starving.” I said.

We stopped at a 24 hour restaurant and we sat with the rest of the band. I sat beside Clay, and everyone decided to ask what happened.

 

“He ambushed me into loving him.”

 

 

Chapter Twenty- What Happens in Vegas…

 

 

Back on the bus, Kelly went straight to her bunk and Clay and I watched TV.

 

“So, why did your fingers get all torn up?”

 

“Because I taped them wrong, and they split. Happens all the time.”

 

He picked up my hands and started to kiss where they were bruised and swollen. His kisses were so gentle.

 

“So what did you do in Colorado over the break?”

 

“I went and saw Drea, and her baby. Kyle and I hung out, watched you on AI.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You were fantastic, by the way.”

 

“So, you and this Kyle talked about me?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

I felt him tense up. “Rory, was he trying to get in your pants?”

 

I laughed. “Clay, honey, He only wants to get in my pants to wear them. He doesn't swing that way, if you know what I mean.”

 

He looked at me confused. But he caught on. “Oh.”

 

“He was watching because it turns out, my boy Kyle has a little thing for you. And Ryan Seacrest, but that’s a different story.”

 

He laughed at my humour. But he was scared of Kyle, I could tell.

 

~~

 

There’s a saying… a very famous saying, that is used the world over, but only effective in its original city. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. This phrase, this way of life, it is so true. The concert in Vegas was great. Very hot. But afterwards, things just got weird. Since we had the next day off, we could stay the night in Vegas and have a day to … well do what you do in Vegas.

 

The show ended at around 10:30, so we headed to the hotel and freshened up. Kelly wanted to hit the Strip, but Clay had this thing were he wanted to… sleep. Who sleeps when you can party in Vegas?

 

“I’m just exhausted, Rory. You can go with Kelly, though. Just don’t get too crazy!” He said, whining slightly.

 

“Clay, are you seriously staying in on a Saturday night in Vegas? The night is young!” Kelly said.

 

“But I need sleep!”

 

“You can sleep on the bus!”

 

“You guys go and have fun! You haven’t had a girl’s night, so go! Have fun! Flirt! Kelly can flirt, not you, Rory.” He winked.

 

I kissed him on the cheek and told him I’d be back in a few hours. Kelly and I got into a cab and headed to hang out with whoever was in town. We went to a club that was famous for its celebrity sightings. I felt out of place, just like the last time I was there with Chuck.

 

We walked around for a bit when we got into a conversation when we found a quieter bar to hang out at.

 

“Have you guys…” She made a little hand gesture. “You know?”

 

“No. But we’ve come close.” I said, not intending the pun.

 

“You know, he has this virginal image, but when he looks at you, he just seems to scream sex.”

 

“We’re getting closer and closer. I think in time we’ll be ready for that step, but right now, I don’t know.” I said, taking my shot of tequila and downing it.

 

“I wonder if the foot thing is true.”

 

“Those feet are huge.”

 

“Keep me informed!” She said, taking her tequila and downing it.

 

At around 1:30, my cell phone rang. We were on our way out of the club and looking for a cab.

 

“Rory? Where are you?”

 

“Just leaving a bar. We’re on our way back now.” I hope he couldn’t tell I had a little too much than I should have to drink.

 

“Alright, I’ll have Jerome waiting in the lobby for you.”

 

“Okay.” I clicked the phone off and we found a cab and went back to the hotel. Neither of us was really drunk, but we were tipsy. Jerome met us in the lobby and he escorted Kelly to her room while Joe brought me up to mine and Clay’s room.

 

When I walked inside, I nearly fell onto the bed and rolled next to Clay.

 

“Clay? Are you awake?”

 

“Yes, where have you been?”

 

“Out. I just wanted to thank you for letting me go out tonight. I really needed it.” I hiccupped as I said it.

 

“Rory, maybe you should get some sleep.”

 

“I will. I just needed to say it.” I settled in by taking off my shoes and changing into a t shirt and shorts to sleep in. I slid back into bed and cuddled in next to Clay. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too Lorelai.” He kissed my cheek and he nuzzled his face into my shoulder. I fell asleep feeling his breath on my neck. This was the kind of thing I didn’t want staying in Vegas.

 

 

Chapter Twenty-One - Closure

 

 

We woke up in the morning around the same time. I had a slight headache, but other than that I was same as usual. I rolled over and watched Clay sleep. So peaceful, so beautiful.

 

“Will you stop staring at me? I get enough of that from you during the day. Actually, don’t stop, I kind of like it.” He said.

 

“Morning.” I said, kissing his cheek.

 

“Morning. How are you? Hung over?”

 

“Nah… I’ll be fine. I didn’t have that much to drink.”

 

“That wasn’t the impression I got. You were flying through here.”

 

“Was I really that bad? Keep in mind, I play drums.”

 

“Well, I guess you weren’t that bad.” He said. He pulled me towards him and I settled into his embrace. “So I did some thinking last night…”

 

“That must have hurt.” I joked. He sarcastically laughed and continued.

 

“I think we should go for a trip when the tour is done.”

 

“OH! I almost forgot to tell you!” I said, sitting up and facing him. “I can’t.”

 

He sat up and rubbed his head. “Wh.. what?”

 

“I was talking to some members in my old band and they want to do a reunion. It would be a few nights in Denver. I said I would do it. You know, for closure.”

 

“Oh. So just…”

 

“A week of shows. But we’d need to rehearse. I’d have to go over our old material, and find out where. It’ll only push the trip you’re planning back a few weeks, nothing big.”

 

“That’s reasonable. What kind of band was this?”

 

“I was the lead singer for a pop-rock band. Sometimes played guitar, wrote a few of the songs. We had fun until we stopped getting along.” I said.

 

“That sounds like it will be fun.” He said.

 

“And I really want you to come.” I added. I looked into his eyes. “I want to show you around Fort Collins. I want to take you home to my family. Family of friends that is.”

 

He smiled. “I would love to.” He said, kissing my cheek.

 

~~

 

On the way to San Diego, bus conversation was silent. We were sitting at the table, hunched over our game of Scrabble. The score was tied. I was sitting beside Clay, moving around our options on the little tile holder. We had nothing. Kelly was overdramatically looking at her watch.

 

“We could do that on that.” I said to him.

 

“Nah that can open up a lot for her.”

 

“We could do this.” I said, pointing at adding letters to a word that had double word score. He nodded and put them down. “Eleven points.” He said. “It’s not much, but…”

 

“You won.”

 

Our jaws dropped. “What?”

 

“I can’t top that. I only have a d and an l. You guys won.” She said, pouting. I turned to Clay and threw my arms around him.

 

“We finally won!” I said.

 

“Don’t get too used to it. I’m still feeling the effects of last night.” She said, putting the game away. “I’ll be in the back room.” She said, trekking off to the back room and turned on the stereo.

 

We sat in the front area of the bus, and turned on the TV. After flipping through the channels, Clay noticed something on Entertainment Tonight.

 

They had found us out.

 

“A romance on the road. Clay Aiken has been linked to the drummer of his band, and former lead singer of an indie band Downfall, Rory McCabe.”

 

Oh no. It’s starting.

 

“Rory McCabe, after leaving the band Downfall, dated drummer Chuck Labelle of punk band down Conspiracy. The rumour of her seeing Clay Aiken didn’t shock Chuck.”

 

“She likes attention; she dated around a lot in the business, so it didn’t exactly surprise me when she told me.” He said. I grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV. I sat back and held my head in my hands.

 

“So…” I said.

 

“You dated around in the business, eh? And you thought I was using you.” He said, getting up, and walking away. I just stayed in my spot while Clay went to the back room, closing the partition.

 

It would be a lost cause to go try to talk to him. He didn’t understand, and he probably wouldn’t listen either. But not for nothing, I didn’t date in the business. Chuck was the only one. But he’s a dickhead.

 

~~

I went into the back room and closed the partition behind me. He glanced at me briefly.

 

“Clay?”

 

Nothing.

 

“Will you at least let me talk? You honestly don’t believe that hogwash, do you?”

 

“Should I?”

 

“No.”

 

“So you didn’t date around?”

 

“If by ‘around’ you mean Chuck. He is the only one I dated. He’s jealous. That’s why he was so generous to fill in for me when I was sick. He wanted to see what was going on.”

 

He looked around.

 

“I don’t think I will ever be comfortable knowing that you were once with him. He seems like such a … a…”

 

“Bastard?”

 

“Yeah, that.”

 

“Well, that’s because he is.” I said, sitting beside him. I put my arm around his shoulder and leaned my head on him. “French speaking, drum wrecking, jealous bastard.”

 

Clay chuckled slightly and put his arms around me. “What you said.”

 

 

Chapter Twenty Two - Normalcy in the “Bizz”

 

 

The tour continued as per usual. The stops became routine. Bus, hotel, venue, food, venue, bus. The occasional interview for Kelly and Clay, but my job was to keep the beat and nothing else. The downtime was excellent. It gave me time to catch up with hockey and politics. Playoffs were starting. Suspensions were being handed out like condoms at a high school sex Ed class.

 

I was sitting on the bus, on my lap top, talking to Kyle again.

 

“You and Clay are in a magazine this month, eh?”

 

I spit out my milkshake.

 

“What?”

 

“There’s a paparazzi shot of you and Clay outside some restaurant. You’re on a skateboard.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You look cute.”

 

“Thanks. Does it say it’s me?”

 

“Yup. Rory McCabe, Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson. Rumours fly about Rory and Clay.”

 

“Well, at least it’s not Chuck going on ET and saying I’m the whore of Babylon.”

 

“Yeah, I saw that. ET put a retraction on the website, and so did Chuck.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. They said that a legal team asked them to retract it.”

 

Clay.

 

“Holy shit. I don't even have a lawyer.”

 

“Well, I gotta go sweetie! Rock on!”

 

I closed my laptop and put it away. Clay was probably somewhere in the venue, and I would corner him if I had to.

 

~~

 

He was in the middle of interviews with local TV stations with Kelly. I was in his line of vision and he raised his eyebrow when he noticed I was around. Kelly made my presence known.

 

“There’s Rory! She’s our drummer! Hi Rory!!” She said, waving.

 

Clay gave a little wave too and I smiled and waved back. The interviewer then didn’t waste any time at all asking about me.

 

“Clay, there’s some rumours floating that you and Rory are something.”

 

“We’re something, alright. We’re people!”

 

Lame, but I still laughed.

 

“Any truth to the rumours though, Clay?”

 

“I don’t know, Rory? Any truth to that?”

 

“I wouldn’t even call myself people!” I joked, lame, but oh well. He laughed and I walked away. He must have known I wanted to talk to him, so he got the point. I walked out to the hallway and waited on the outside. I leaned against the wall and talked to myself silently. He walked back out and leaned on the wall next to me.

 

“Can we talk?” I asked.

 

“Of course.” We walked into his dressing room and I sat on the couch.

 

“Did your lawyers threaten ET and Chuck for me?”

 

He took in a deep breath. “Yeah, they did.”

 

“Why? They didn’t have to, Clay. It’s okay.”

 

“It was their idea to do it.”

 

I stood up and walked towards him. I was mere inches away from him. I had a stern look on my face.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said.

 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. “Why? It was sweet. It was caring. But I guess my kisses deserve to go to your lawyers. After all it was their idea.” I said, kissing him again. His hands rested on my back and rubbed gently.

 

“Oh, they’re lawyers. They always get credit for nothing. I think I deserve it.” He said, pulling my face into a deeper kiss. We kissed for a few moments and he pulled away. “This is nice. We haven’t had much time to ourselves lately.” He said, combing my hair with his fingers.

 

“I know. We’re getting more days off as the first leg of the tour comes to a close.”

 

“I’m definitely going to miss this.” He said. “I love touring. With you.”

 

“Well, I better be recruited for your next tour too.”

 

“You’ve got it.”

 

“I’m kind of excited that I get my birthday off.” I said.

 

“You never told me that your birthday is coming up. I don’t even know when it is. When? Tell me!” He said, hugging me tighter and tickling my back.

 

“It’s on the 10^th.”

 

“Okay. You and I will do something truly special on that day. Just for you.”

 

“Okay.” I said. He nodded. I kissed him again and broke our embrace. It was time to go. Rehearsals were starting.

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Three - Destiny

 

 

Home feels just so nice after months of being everywhere in the country. It felt great to show Clay and Kelly around, and be at home for once and walk around and smell the mountain air. I brought Clay and Kelly to meet Kyle and Drea and little Jenny. It wasn’t just a rumour. Clay was great with children. Jenny was officially clayverted that afternoon, and Drea became an official Clay-mate. Kyle was already and honorary Clay-mate.

 

We went back to the basement apartment I called home in Downtown Denver. When I stayed in Fort Collins, Kyle had a room for me, but the Denver home of mine was just that. A home. Finally, a home of my own. I lead the way inside and showed them around the small cozy place.

 

“This place is so cute!” Kelly chimed.

 

“It’s great Rory.” Clay said. He looked over at Kelly and she immediately started chatting.

 

“Well. I should really split! I have an interview and a photo shoot and I’ll see ya’ll back at the Pepsi Centre! Later!” She said, running for the door. I watched, knowing full well what Clay had just done.

 

“Clay?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did you pay Kelly to leave?”

 

“Yeah.” He said, sarcastically.

 

“Oh, okay, just making sure.” I said, sitting down on my large comfortable sofa.

 

He sat down next to me and put his arm around me. “So, did you have a good birthday?”

 

“I’ve never had better.”

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~

 

“Keep them closed, okay?” He said, covering my eyes with his hands. He was leading me into a large empty room somewhere in the state of Washington. I heard faint noises all around me, but couldn’t quite make them out. “Okay, are you ready?”

 

“I think.”

 

He slid his hands off my face and slipped them around my waist. I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful sight ever. Stainless steel drums, double bass, 7 cymbals, high durable pedals and the piece de resistance, Phil Rudd bass toms lifted high above the two snare drums. A recreation of the drum kit that Lars Ulrich played on the Summer Sanatorium tour. After I realized the wonderful beauty in front of me, I realized that the crew were all around us.

 

“Holy crap.” I said.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“Like it? I’m plotzing!” I wasn’t Jewish, but I should at least pay homage to Linda Richman.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He said, leading me towards the drums.

 

“Are these really for me?” I asked him.

 

“Who else would they be for? Of course!”

 

I stared at the set up and almost fainted. “Clay, this is too much.”

 

“It’s a shared gift. It’s from everyone on tour. Even my mom chipped in.”

 

“Clay…”

 

“Just play them.” He said, handing me the Power Ball drumsticks.

 

I climbed on to the carpeted riser and sat on the upholstered stool. It was heaven for my ass. I started to trot at the snare drum and played. It was amazingly great sounding. I stopped playing and people were applauding. The room emptied and all who were left were Clay and I. I stood up from the riser, and Clay stood below me.

 

“You are a wonder.” I said, putting my arms around him. I kissed his cheek and then kissed his lips. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

 

He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the riser. “You came into my world and turned it upside down.”

 

We stood there for a long time, just hugging and occasionally kissing.

 

“This is the best birthday ever, Clay.” I whispered.

 

“I love you.”

 

“And it just got better.”

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

 

“Is there anything I can get you? Water? Tea? I can go get some Krispy Kremes.”

 

“No.” He began. He pulled me onto his lap and held me tight. “I’ve got all I want right here.”

 

“Wow. I can’t believe you just turned down Krispy Kremes for me.” I said. I kissed him lightly.

 

I cuddled in close to him and sighed in relief. I felt so safe in his arms. I always had. This was no different, but I was home. On my couch, in my living room, sharing a moment of peace with Clay. I began to think about the tour and how drastically it changed my life. I made new friends, new contacts, a beautifully charming boyfriend and the best puppy friend a girl could ask for.

 

“Ror? Earth to Rory!” He said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Hello?”

 

“Sorry, I spaced for a minute there.”

 

“What were you thinking about?” He asked.

 

“About how much I need to thank you.”

 

“What?”

 

“This. Everything. The tour, the friends, the drums… I wouldn’t have any of it if it weren’t for you.”

 

“Don’t thank me. It was fate. Fate brought me a drummer and a girlfriend.” He said. “I thank God everyday that He brought you to me. I can’t believe the experiences I got from this tour either. Performing, meeting hundreds of thousands of people and … you. I know that we fell for each other quickly, and I know you said we needed to slow down, but I am so in love with you, I can’t seem to stop. I can’t wait for the tour to be over so I can take you home and show you around Raleigh, and not just on the way to a hockey game. I want you to see where I grew up and where I went to school. And I got to see all of that of yours today. Except I do want to see that group home that you lived in.”

 

I took in a breath. “Okay.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I want to see all that, and you still have one stop left on that tour.” I kissed him. “But not right now. I like this. I want to be as close to you as I can.” I kissed him again. “I don’t want to leave this.” I kissed him deeper. I felt him respond to me, his hardening member pressing into me.

 

I stood up and he followed me into the bedroom. I closed the door and he aggressively kissed me again, walking me towards the bed. We fell in a thud and he shifted on top of me. He unbuttoned my jeans and pushed the zipper down. I did the same, then going back to unbutton his shirt and push it over his shoulders.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“An undershirt.”

 

“What are you, five?”

 

“Shut up, Lorelai.”

 

Kissing me vigorously, he flipped me on to my back, and pulled my shirt from over my head. His hands traveled over my breasts and squeezed gently. He let his head fall into my chest and covered me with kisses. His hands traveled down my sides and pushed my jeans down, his fingers gently tugging at my panties but leaving them in place. He pulled them off the rest of the way and he pulled me to sit up. I literally tore his undershirt from him and threw it aside, letting my hands caress his chest. He kissed my neck, reaching around and unclasping my bra, pulling it from my shoulders. I pushed him backwards and crawled up him. I kissed the hollow of his neck, the edge of his shoulder and downwards. I left a trail of kisses down as I started to pull his pants down. I threw them over my shoulder and kissed his calves, working upwards. From the looks of things, he was ready for me. I caressed him from the outside of his boxers, feeling him harden. I pulled his boxers off and slowly caressed him more.

 

“Rory…”

 

I kissed the tip of his penis… licking it gently and sucking its purple head.

 

“Please, Lorelai…” he said, sitting up and pushing me down on the bed. He climbed on top of me and slid my panties off as far as he could, then I kicked them aside. He pushed my legs apart and began teasing my center with his penis.

 

“Make love to me, Clay.”

 

“Mmmm.” Then he guided himself into me. I could have come right in that moment. His member was slowly probing me. Just feeling so close to him was enough, but this was magic. He moved himself in further and started to move into me faster. I was ready to come. “Come for me, Lor.” He whispered into my ear. “I wanna see you come.” He looked into my eyes as a cascade of pleasure erupted in my body. “That’s it baby.” He said, gaining speed. He came at the same time; we enjoyed watching each other feel the climactic romance. He collapsed into me and kissed my shoulder.

 

After we caught our breaths, Clay rolled off me and hugged me close.

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Four - Always In my Heart

 

 

“How much time till we have to go?” I asked.

 

“About an hour. I’m going to go have a shower...” He leaned over and kissed me. “Would you like to join me?” He started to kiss my neck.

 

“I think I’ll wait. I have to find something for you.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“It’s a surprise. You go get cleaned up.” I said.

 

He got up and went into the bathroom. I got up and threw a t-shirt back on and ran around my apartment trying to find what I needed. I opened what I called the “Music Closet” and searched around for the old demos of Downfall. If he was going to come to the reunion shows, he should hear some of the material first. There were two albums that were indie releases, and two very early demos. Most of the songs were covers from some pop rock bands. The one song I wanted him to hear was a song by a Canadian brother band called The Moffatts. It was a song that says ‘no matter where I am, know I love you.’ I put it in the CD player and got back into bed.

 

“What’s that?” A voice asked. I turned around and saw him standing in a towel.

 

“A part of your surprise.”

 

He sat down on the bed and leaned back on his arms. “I hope I like it.”

 

I pressed play and let the music fill the room.

 

“This is Downfall.” I said. His eyes lit up.

 

One day, I’ll finally get the

Nerve to say how I feel I

Hide away all the pain

I wish you’d stay cause

 

I can’t stop my world from crying

And I’ll hold on and I’ll keep on trying

 

I believe there’s a way to show you

Even when we are apart

Though the times we are not together

You’re always in my heart

 

 

Words come

Little too late

Now you’re gone

And I’m still here and

I’m singing this song

All alone

Something’s wrong cause

 

I can’t stop my world from crying

And I’ll hold on and I’ll keep on trying

 

I believe there’s a way to show you

Even when we are apart

Though the times we are not together

You’re always in my heart.

 

Of all the things that I regret

Sometimes I forget to say

I love you…

 

“That was you?”

 

“Four years ago. This is the kind of material we’re doing for the shows.”

 

“That was great.”

 

“You get to keep these. The albums, the demos.”

 

He kissed my cheek. “Thank you.” I hugged him back and got up.

 

“Ok. I’m going to go shower then I’ll show you where I lived.”

 

“The group home?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

~~

 

We drove onto the quiet street and pulled into the home’s driveway.

 

“It’s huge!”

 

“Well, there were 12 kids that lived in the house. Most of us shared, but the ones who had the serious issues had their own rooms in the basement. Those were, oddly enough, the most comfortable rooms in the house.”

 

“Where was your room?” He asked. I knew he wondered if I was one of the serious issue kids.

 

I pointed to the right corner of the house. “That one right there. Drea and I shared.”

 

“That’s great.”

 

“You don’t want to go in, do you? Because half of the supervisors and social workers that I had are probably long gone.”

 

“No. We don’t have to.”

 

“Okay.” I said, backing out of the driveway. “Alright, back to the real world of making music.” I said, heading back towards the venue.

 

~~

 

Who knew a show in Denver would kick ass so much?? I did. I knew it would rock. It’s my hometown, of course it will rock. After the show, the tour buses rolled out and headed to the next venue. I sat in my bunk and read the newspapers I had picked up and got caught up in the Denver news. Kelly poked her head into my bunk and started to talk.

 

“How were things after I left?” She asked.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine as in…” She made that hand gesture again. “Fine?”

 

“Yeah, fine as in…” I made her little hand gesture. “Fine.”

 

“So?”

 

“So what?”

 

“The foot thing?”

 

“Very, very, very true.” I said.

 

 

Chapter Twenty Five - There’s a 1^st Time for Everything!

 

 

“Chuck is talking about you again.” He said. I looked up at the TV. It was a CNN People in The News. I sat down next to Clay and listened to him.

 

“We were together knowing that it wouldn’t last forever.”

 

Bullshit.

 

“I was never looking for Miss Right until I realized she walked away.”

 

“Bullshit.” I said.

 

“When I heard that she was seeing Clay Aiken, I knew that they had a true connection. I saw how they were with each other and I never saw that with us. I’m truly happy for her.”

 

“I don’t buy it.” Clay said.

 

The interview continued and things got more personal.

 

“We dated, and I never cheated on her. I can’t say the same for her. I don’t know if there was someone else, I can’t confirm that, but it’s a possibility.” More bullshit.

 

“What a loser!” Kelly yelled at the TV.

 

“She’s very sweet and really down to earth. I can see why Clay picked her up. I regret treating her the way I did.”

 

“Finally something I can agree with.” I said. I reached over and turned off the TV when they started to talk more about his band. I sat back and looked around.

 

“Well, that was interesting.” Clay said, putting his arm around me. “Not all bad. I can relate to a lot of that. We do have a great connection.” I nodded and rested my head against his shoulder.

 

“Chuck seems like a devil in disguise. Like he can be a doll at one point, but a complete loser the next.”

 

“That pretty much sums it up.” I said. He was rubbing my arm. I looked up at him. Clay looked sort of mad. I was mad. I was almost beyond mad.

 

“Why would he go on TV and say junk like that when the last time he did it, he got a mouthful from your lawyers?”

 

“I guess he doesn't know when to stop.” Kelly said.

 

I stood up and went back to my bunk. I could feel myself sinking into a depression. It was beginning again. He knew everyway to hurt me and he was succeeding. Clay opened the curtain to my bunk and knelt next to me.

 

“Rory, honey, are you okay?”

 

“No.” I wiped away a tear. “This is just the beginning. Chuck is going to do this a lot. He wants to hurt me and he’ll do anything, and I mean anything to pull me down.”

 

“I won’t let him.”

 

“He’ll take you down too.” I said.

 

“Let him try.”

 

I started to cry harder. “Clay…”

 

“Lorelai… don’t worry about it. He’s tried to do this before, and we made it through every time. Just take it easy, okay?”

 

I nodded and fought back tears. He crawled in beside me and held me in his arms all the way to Kansas City. When we arrived at the hotel, he asked me to come to the Bubel Aiken Foundation benefit gala type thing. Just a get together with other foundations that have joined the BAF to raise awareness.

 

“Uhh. I don’t know Clay, that’s not exactly my scene and I don’t have anything to wear…”

 

“Oh, okay… its okay, I just thought you might like to come along. There will be some fans and I know it may not be the best place to, but I wanted to introduce you as my girlfriend. But if you don’t want to come, that’s fine.”

 

My heart broke in two. Why is this man so adorable?

 

“Clay?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“If I do come, do I have to wear a dress?”

 

“No, but something somewhat dressy.” He said, smiling. “Why, are you thinking about it?”

 

“Kind of.”

 

“Alright, here’s the deal. I want you to come.” He began writing on the newspaper I had in front of me. “Here’s where it is. The event is dressy casual. If you don’t come, then it’s okay. But if you decide that you want to make an appearance as my girlfriend, then I would be happy to have you there.”

 

He slid out of the bunk and I stared at the paper. What would I wear? I don’t own a skirt. Well… I do… but a kilt from high school wouldn’t cut it. I thought

 

I needed to go shopping.

 

~~

 

I had a few hours to take a cab to a nearby mall and find something somewhat girly to wear after we arrived in Kansas City. And I needed accessories. I found a black flowy knee length skirt and a charcoal grey tank top that came over one shoulder. Shoes were an issue. Would I need high heels? Should I even try? My feet are so flat and so big; I doubt they had them in my size. But low and behold, I found a pair of black 3 inch heels that wouldn’t be too hard to walk in. I raced back to the hotel and started to get ready. And that meant the unthinkable…

 

I had to shave my legs so they look good. Now, don’t get me wrong, I shave my legs, but I’m never careful. I get cuts, but I don’t care. This was different. So that meant no not caring if there are cuts, which means careful around the knees. I wondered if I should put make up on the scars from boarding.

 

***

 

I was completely ready, and I even bought a tiny little purse and new make up. I got ready and took a cab to the benefit. I paid the driver and walked inside. My name was on ‘the list’ and I walked into the benefit feeling like a goon. I was wearing a skirt in public, which never happens! I guess there is a first for everything…

 

I started to look around for Clay. I saw his mother, but I don’t think she recognized me from afar. I saw him closer to the tiny stage and he was schmoozing with the foundation donators who had the lucky tickets to attend. I saw him on the far side of the room, talking and schmoozing with the right people. He was glancing around the room. Hopefully looking for me.

 

He glanced at me fleetingly, thinking that I wasn’t me. But his eyes travelled back to me and smiled.

 

I smiled back at him and winked.

 

He winked back.

 

I motioned for him to look at my outfit, running my hand down my skirt and over my tank top. He raised his eyebrows and gave me thumbs up. Then, Vanessa tapped on his shoulder; it was time for him to speak.

 

He winked at me before he started to do what he had a knack for doing… flirting with women.

 

 

Chapter Twenty Six - Keeping My Cool…

 

 

After he spoke, I found a spot to sit and rest my poor feet, which aren’t used to heels. I sat with my drink and watched him walk about the room and thank the people who came. His eyes kept fleeting towards me. He mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’. I didn’t know why, but I blew him a kiss anyway.

 

But I lost him in the crowd. I saw him go left, and then right, but after that, he was gone. I got up and started to look around for him, but I was stopped by a lot of people who wanted to meet Rory McCabe, the drummer. But today I was Lorelai McCabe, Clay Aiken’s girl. After I talked to a very sweet couple from Utah, a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty hall.

 

“You can’t dress like that anymore. You’re going to attract all the men in the room.” He said, his hands on my hips, looking me over.

 

“Don’t get me wrong, honey, but there weren’t too many men in there.” I said. He leaned in and kissed me. His hands started on my hips, but moved upwards and explored my body. I pulled away slightly and put my arms around him.

 

“Why were you apologizing before?”

 

“Because I was supposed to acknowledge you as my girlfriend, and I forgot to.”

 

“Oh, I don’t care. Well, I do, but you don’t have to. It’s okay.” I said, pulling him to kiss me again.

 

We made out for a bit in the hall, until Vanessa came back in, because it was time for Clay to say goodbye. We walked back in, after straightening ourselves up, and he took my hand. We walked about the room and he was leaving. On the other side of the doors, on the way to the car, were local press. Newspaper reporters holding their tape players, TV anchors holding out their microphones. I looked at Clay and he didn’t seem too surprised.

 

I stood behind him as he talked to the press. He did make statements about the foundation, the tour and the album.

 

“Rory, my girlfriend came to show her support today as well.”

 

It begins officially. When the words came out of his mouth, it became real. I wanted to jump his bones right there, but I kept my cool. After he was done talking, he took my hand and went to the car. Faye was already out there, waiting to get in. She glanced at me and her jaw dropped.

 

“Rory? Wow, darling you look amazing!” She said, hugging me. “What a change!”

 

“I’ll wear anything for a good cause.” I said. We got into the limo and I twined my fingers back in Clay’s. He looked at me and kissed my cheek. It was only a matter of time until I could wear pants again. I counted the streetlights and finally saw the hotel in sight. My feet were killing me. I needed to get out of these shoes and into some Air walks or something.

 

We went into the lobby and were whisked back up to our room. I walked to the end of the bed and started to take off my shoes. Clay then knelt in front of me and helped in taking off the shoes.

 

“You looked amazing today, Lorelai. Thank you.”

 

“Thank you, baby. You look fantastic yourself.”

 

He stood up and started kissing my neck and shoulder. He stood me up in front of him and began kissing me passionately. His hands traveled to unexplored territory, cupping my butt and searching for a zipper on the skirt. I moved my hand to the front of his pants and began rubbing at his already throbbing member.

 

“I want you so bad.” He whispered.

 

“I love you, Clay.”

 

But just as steamy got steamier, the doorbell rang. Clay gave me a shocked look and told me to answer it. He ran into the bathroom and closed and locked the door. I looked through the peephole and saw it was Kelly. I contained myself and fixed my wrinkled skirt. I had to keep my cool.

 

“Come on in.” I said, opening the door. She walked in and sat on the couch.

 

Kelly and I started to talk about the remaining shows and how she and I should really hang out after it’s all said and done.

 

“You should come to Denver to see my old band reunion. Clay is coming and there are some very fine and available fellas’.”

 

“I’m there!”

 

We chatted a few minutes longer, and Clay still hadn’t come out of the bathroom.

 

“Where’s Aiken?”

 

Just then, I heard the shower turn on.

 

“He must be tired. He needs a nice hot shower.” Kelly said, picking up a magazine and flipping through it.

 

“Somehow I don’t think it’s a hot one.” I muttered.

 

 

Chapter Twenty Seven - Sex, Love & Cheese Whiz

 

 

I hinted to Kelly that Clay and I needed a bit of rest before out dinner with Faye. When Kelly left to get some rest, I went into the bathroom and saw Clay sitting next to the bathtub, wrapped in only a towel.

 

“Is she gone?”

 

“Yeah.” I said. I stood in front of him and he sat me on his lap. “I’m sorry about that.”

 

“It’s okay.” He said, hugging me tighter.

 

“Okay, I’m going to get in the shower; I’ll meet you out in the bedroom in a few minutes.” I said, kissing his cheek. He grabbed my hips and pulled me back on to him.

 

He was kissing my neck again. “Can I join you?”

 

“You just had a shower!”

 

“Yeah, but I feel really dirty right now.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and resting on my thighs. “Very dirty… but for some reason, only when you’re around.”

 

I stood up and turned on the shower. I slid my skirt down and threw my top off. I stood in front of him, in nothing but a tiny thong and a smile.

 

“Where did you get that?”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“I’ll like it better when it’s off of you.” He said, pulling it off with his index fingers. We walked into the shower together and we stepped under its spray. It didn’t take long for him to have me pinned against the wall, teasing my slit with his fingers. He gently stroked me and kissed me vigorously. He soon replaced his fingers with his hard penis, gently entering me.

 

“Am I hurting you?”

 

“No, baby, no… please.” I begged. He entered me completely and slowly thrust into me. I wouldn’t last too long. I was close already. And judging by the noises he was making, he was close too. I wrapped my legs around him giving him better and deeper access and we immediately climaxed together.

 

“Have you ever made love in a shower before today?” He asked.

 

“No. Today is the first.”

 

“I saw you in a sexy skirt today. It’s a day of firsts alright!”

 

We washed up together and stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked in front of the mirror. I wiped away the condensation and looked at myself in the mirror. No make up, any skirts or tank tops, just me. Rory. Clay walked in behind me and smiled.

 

“I love you.” He said, kissing my cheek.

 

“I love you too.”

 

He enveloped me in his arms and held me close. “Do we really have to go back out there? I don’t want to go! I want to stay and never leave the bed.” He said, resting his chin on my shoulder and began swaying us back and forth.

 

“Yeah, we do. We get to do what we do best, though.”

 

“Together or on stage?” He quipped. I poked his arm and rested in his embrace.

 

“It’s only a matter of time until we have a few days off until I have to be back in Denver for rehearsals. Man, the guys in Downfall are going to have heart attacks when they see my new set.”

 

“Are you playing drums or guitar?”

 

“Guitar, but who knows, maybe I’ll be nice and let Jimmy play them.”

 

“It’s nice that you share! So, how long are rehearsals and how many shows exactly?”

 

“A week and a half of rehearsals and 4 shows on alternating nights.” I said, absentmindedly rubbing his arm.

 

“That’s better than this tour! So much time off…”

 

“But not nearly as many benefits!” I said, turning around and kissing him. “We gotta go. Come on, let’s get dressed.”

 

~~

 

We headed to the lobby where Faye was waiting for us already. Kelly was apparently on her way down and we were all going out for dinner. I was back to wearing a pair of black pants, a black button up blouse with three quarter length sleeves and the best skater shoes I owned. We weren’t going anywhere fancy, just a nice little get together.

 

We were sitting around a round table, sharing the stories we had accumulated on the tour. Laughing, telling out personal stories, and sharing a few last moments before Faye was on a plane back to the East Coast. Kelly excused herself to the bathroom and it was just the three of us. Clay had his arm on the back of my chair, rubbing my shoulder.

 

“So, have you two slept together yet?”

 

I spat my water out into the glass as nonchalantly as I could. My face was turning beat red. I stared at Clay, because his eyes were wide. We were two deer caught in headlights.

 

“Well?”

 

“Uhh…” I managed to get out. I then picked up my glass of water and chugged it as fast as I could. Was it just me or did it get really warm all of a sudden?

 

“You can be honest.”

 

I kept looking at Clay to make sure he was breathing.

 

“Clay? Rory?” She asked again.

 

“Mom, I don't think that this is appropriate dinner conversation.”

 

“But I want to know how serious you two are and how responsible you’ve been.” She said.

 

“Mom, I love Rory. I think that’s where this conversation should end.” He said, picking up his glass of water and handing it to me.

 

“Excuse me for a moment.” I said, getting up and running into the bathroom. Kelly was at the mirror adjusting her make up. I walked up beside her and leaned my back against the adjacent wall.

 

“Faye just asked if Clay and I were having sex.”

 

“Awkward!”

 

“No kidding!”

 

“Well? What did you say?”

 

“I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything and I made a complete fool of myself in front of his mother!! I’m freaking out! You’ve gotta help me!”

 

“Okay, okay! Calm down.” She put her hands on my shoulders. “Take a deep breath and repeat after me.” I did as she said and calmed down. “Mrs. Parker, I am in love with your son.”

 

“Mrs. Parker, I am in love with your son.” I said.

 

“Mrs. Parker, I love Clay so much that sometimes I just want to smear his body in cheese whiz and lick it off!”

 

“KELLY!”

 

“Okay, don’t say that, but I did just give you an idea.” She took in a deep breath. “Mrs. Parker, I love Clay so much that I felt ready to take a big step with him, and I don't regret one minute of it.”

 

“Mrs. Parker, I love Clay so much that I felt ready to take a big step with him, and I don't regret one minute of it.”

 

“There, now go out there and say it. She’ll appreciate your honesty and Clay will love you even more. Just don’t say the Cheese Whiz line. That’s gonna dig your grave!”

 

 

Chapter Twenty Eight - No Regrets

 

 

We went back to the table and I sat down. Clay asked me if I was okay. I looked at him and nodded.

 

“I’m sorry if that frightened you, Rory.” Faye said. Do or die, now or never, live and let live… actually it was live and let die, but ahh! Must talk!

 

“Mrs. Parker, I am in love with your son.” I said. She smiled. I looked over at Clay and his eyes were softer and a bright smile lit up his face. “Mrs Parker, I am so in love with your son, that I felt ready to take that step with him. And I don’t regret it. Not at all. I never will.” She smiled and thanked me for my honesty. I looked at Clay again. Smiling wider, he leaned over and kissed me gently and sweetly.

 

When it was time to go, Kelly and I went back to the hotel while Clay took his mom to the airport. I fell onto the bed in relief and closed my eyes. What had happened? Why had I blacked out when she asked that? I usually am brutally honest, why did I space out?

 

I fell asleep after I changed and turned on the TV. I was curled up under the covers and watching what seemed to be called “Texas Justice”; a TV court show, obviously set in the great state of Texas. I didn’t exactly follow what was going on; I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I had said things like that to Faye.

 

I was woken up by the key in the door. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. He was sauntering inside, taking off his jacket and throwing it onto the desk chair.

 

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend Rory?” He said, laughing. He crawled on to the bed and sat in front of me. “What was that back there?”

 

“I said what needed to be said. I got some great advice from Kelly.” I said.

 

“I loved it.”

 

“You should hear what she wanted me to say. Not exactly the most appropriate thing to say to your mother.” I said, playing with my hair. He took my hand and put it in between his.

 

“Lorelai…”

 

I locked my gaze with his. “Yes?”

 

“You handled that better than I did.”

 

“How did you handle it? I must have missed that when I ran off to the bathroom.”

 

“I told her that we were close. But not as close as she thought.”

 

“You told her we hadn’t had sex?”

 

“Yeah. Then you came back and proved me wrong. You made me the black sheep.”

 

“I’m so sorry! I wish I knew that you didn’t want to tell her. I’m such an idiot!” I said, putting my head in my hands. “I’m so embarrassed!”

 

“Rory, Rory, no…” He lifted my hands and tilted my face back up to meet his gaze. “You were honest. You gave me the courage to talk to her about it on the way to the airport. She doesn’t care about the sex. She is just looking out for us.” He kissed my nose gently. “She wanted to make sure we were being responsible. Which we haven’t been.” He got all serious on me. “We should have taken better precautions… Condoms… I mean, we don’t want to get you pregnant, Rory. We needed to be more careful.”

 

“I’m on the pill, Clay. I wouldn’t have done anything with you if I weren’t.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Taken care of, baby.” I kissed his stubbly cheek.

 

He rested his forehead against mine and we sat together for a while, just toying with each other’s fingers and enjoying the presence of one another. A knock on the door broke the silence. Clay got up to answer it. It was Kelly. She handed him a jar of Cheese Whiz. He closed the door and came back.

 

“Kelly said you would know what to do with this.” He said, setting it down. I was laughing inside. “Lorelai?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I am in love with you too.” He said, sitting back down next to me. “I love you so much, I don’t think I can or will let you go.”

 

I smiled as I leaned in and kissed him. We sat together and watched the end of “Texas Justice”. When it was over, he turned off the TV and he held me in his arms. I felt so secure.

 

~~

 

I never knew coming into this gig just how drastically my life would change. Change in life can be good, but something will always make it feel like it’s too good to be true. This was one of those. I had no idea what could happen next, when Chuck’s jealous wrath would strike again. I did know that nothing lasts forever. Things rarely do. Music will live on in my life, until the day I die. I strive to fight for the memory of Joe Strummer, and Kurt Cobain, but will my love for the legends of rock be as stable as my love for Clay? I hear stories. I listen to them fondly. The stories of fairy tale loves, finding the one true love of your life. I want that for myself, being the hopeless romantic I am, but is Clay that person, or is this just the limbo of my love life? I’ll never know that, I understand that. My life had changed to quickly, without warning.

 

I loved Clay. I knew that. I knew that one day I would want to move in with him, and continue to make music with him. Was Faye trying to find out how serious we were to see how far away a wedding was?

 

“Last show is tomorrow. I’m really going to miss this!” Kelly said, hopping into her bunk and closing off the curtain. Clay climbed into his bunk and let his hand fall out. I reached out and put my hand in his. I fell asleep with him holding my hand.

 

 

Chapter Twenty Nine -- Win Friends & Influence People

 

 

I woke up and heard voices in the back room. Clay was talking to Kelly. I had no idea what time it was or where we were, but I heard their conversation loud and clear.

 

“It’s been 4 months.” Kelly said. “Well, technically three and a half, but in January you guys met.”

 

“Yeah. It’s been…” He paused. “Fantastic.”

 

“Four months. What’s next?”

 

“I want her to move to LA. But I don’t know what she wants to do. She said she wanted to when the tour was over, but I don’t know. I want her to move in with me. I want her to travel with me; I want her to be with me… I want to…”

 

“Clay, take it easy. Don’t say that ‘M’ word until you know.” Kelly warned.

 

“I know. I’ve never felt this way before!”

 

“Your heart will know.” I heard them hug and start to whisper as they walked past the bunks. Clay knelt down and climbed inside the bunk. I pretended to be asleep and not almost crying at his sweetness.

 

“Rory? Are you awake?” He spooned against me. I didn’t say a word. “Rory? Baby, come on, darling, wake up.” Nothing. “Look! Krispy Kremes!” Ha, worked for you, but not for me. “Rory… please wake up.” I guess I could start stirring. I moved my arms and rolled into his embrace, but immediately put my head into his chest and slept. “Lorelai…I know you’re awake.”

 

“I’m not awake, I’m sleeping.”

 

“You’re a very articulate sleep talker.”

 

“Shh… sleeping.”

 

“You know you’re very polite right now. But not a few hours ago when I tried to wake you up.”

 

I looked up. “You did? I slept through that?”

 

“You bit me.”

 

“I didn’t bite you!”

 

He lifted his right hand and pointed at the teeth marks in between his thumb and index finger.

 

“I bit you! Cool! I’m sorry!”

 

I kissed his hand where my teeth had imbedded into his skin. I hadn’t broken skin, but there would be a nasty bruise there.

 

“That feels better.” He whispered. I kissed his bearded cheek and gingerly kissed his lips. “That feels much better.” He whispered again.

 

“BARF!” Kelly yelled from her bunk.

 

“Rory, I’m going to be in London in a few days.” He said, grasping my hand in between his.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Can you come too? I mean, when do you have to be in Colorado?”

 

“Right away. I have to start rehearsals.” I suddenly became upset.

 

“Well, I will only be there for a few days. Then after maybe I could come right to Colorado and spend time there with you.”

 

“Okay. I really wish I could come with you to London. I’ve never been.”

 

He squeezed my hands as he leaned down and kissed me. “You will one day, baby.”

 

We got out of the bunk and began organizing our things. It was the last stop and it was time to clean out the bus. I gathered all my things and packed them tightly into my backpack and duffle bag. I set everything neatly in a pile next to the door and sat down. Kelly and Clay were still scrambling to find everything. I sat and laughed as I watched them run around like headless chickens. They finally calmed down and we headed into the venue for our last sound check. I sat behind my new drums, adjusted the stool for the last time and counted down for the first song.

 

~~

 

A grand finale for a grand tour. I was taken from here to there, seen the farthest corners this country had to offer and I witnessed the sparkle in peoples’ eyes when their Idols hit the stage. I was able to witness pure magic when Clay would sing to his fans in the audience. I was able to witness pure hilarity when he would talk into fans’ cell phones to an eager fan on the other end. I was able to feel the pure emotion while Clay sang his heart out every night to a packed house. I witnessed Kelly attempt to do ‘the lawnmower’ and grind with my boyfriend during a hearty rendition of “When Doves Cry”. Nothing would ever take this experience away from me. I made friends, influenced people. Dale Carnegie could never write a book about this. But neither can I. I’m too speechless to even begin to write on paper what I experienced. True love, true friendship and a true passion. An honest day’s work was made by having fun, playing the drums. I felt like I was cheating. How can I have so much fun and still make money for it? I would do it all for free.

 

As we drove towards the airport, thunder struck. I stared out the window and watched the clouds darken and the rain fall. I looked back to who was beside me. Kelly and Clay. My two best friends. Thunder struck once more and then stopped. The thunder was the end of the tour, but the brightening sky signalled a bright future.

 

 

Chapter Thirty - Telephones & Airplanes

 

 

On the plane, I sat beside Clay and I watched him as he slept. He would need it. He was stopping over in Los Angeles for a day or two, but he had a very hectic schedule. I was different. I would be on another plane in less than 2hours after we landed in California. Clay and I had talked before we got on the plane about what would happen.

 

“Can you come to my place for a bit, or do you have to wait at the airport?” He asked.

 

“I think it’s better if I stayed. I’m bad enough when it comes to being on time. I’m sorry.” I said as we walked through the gate and towards the plane.

 

He sighed overdramatically. “Fine. I’ll just be devastatingly lonely without you. You know, we’ve never really been apart. Well, not continents apart. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Both as my drummer and my girlfriend.” He said, squeezing my hand.

 

“Clay, it’s only a few days, and then you’re back here. You’ll be busy, I’ll be busy. We won’t even have time to realize we’re thousands of miles apart.”

 

“But we will be.” He muttered. He nodded and stayed silent until he fell asleep. I hope he understood just how much I would miss him. As the plane began to land, I did my best to wake Clay from his slumber.

 

“Clay? Come on, honey, we’re here.” I said, pushing his arm. He started to wake up and he looked over at me and smiled.

 

“Thanks, Rory.”

 

We walked off the plane and headed to my connecting flight. Clay had Jerome take Raleigh with him when he picked up his luggage. Joe came with us as we waited for my plane. I had said goodbye to Kelly in St. Paul, as she was heading straight for Texas before going to London. Clay and I found a corner of the waiting area that was completely empty. Joe was blocking the area from anyone who may have saw or cared. We sat down and stared out the window. He had his arms around my shoulder, but he was still silent.

 

“They have phones in England.” I said. Wow… I am such an IDIOT!

 

He laughed, breaking his silence. “Yeah, they do. I’ll be sure to use that. To… vote for myself on TRL… call my mom… call Ruben…” He paused. “That’s it.” He joked. He looked over at me. “They have phones in Denver.” He laughed again. His laughter was music to me. I loved to hear him happy…

 

“I’ll be sure to call you when I get in.”

 

“And?”

 

“And what?”

 

“And vote for me on TRL?”

 

I hesitated. “Alright, I’ll vote too. Do my civic duty.” I laughed.

 

They called for my flight and we sighed in force. “I guess it’s that time.” He said. He stood up and I stood in front of him.

 

“Yeah.” I felt tears coming.

 

He began to caress my face.

 

“I miss you already. I want you to call the minute you get in, okay? I’ll be in LA until tomorrow night. You have my number?”

 

I laughed. “Clay, I have your home number, cell number, and for some reason you gave me Kim’s number. I think I’m covered.”

 

He pulled my face to his and he devoured my lips. He didn’t want me to forget about him, so he left me with a lasting impression of him. A tear fell down my cheek as I pulled away from him.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you.” I said, back. “I’ll call you tonight. I promise.” I walked away from him, and towards the gate.

 

On the plane, I sat alone. No one to watch sleep. No one to smile at as they pondered in their dreams. This was going to be a lonely couple of days.

 

 

Chapter Thirty-One - Bull Shit Detector

 

 

When I landed in Denver, I headed straight home to shower and change. He would understand my dilemma. Should I go to London? Surprise him? I called him when I was leaving my house.

 

“Are you going to be home?” I asked Kyle.

 

“Yeah, come on over.” He said. “Oh, how’s your fiancé?”

 

“What fiancé?”

 

“Rumour has it that Clay popped the question. Am I invited to the wedding?”

 

“Kyle, never believe that hogwash! It’s not true. Even if Clay asked me to marry him, I would say no.”

 

“Well, I will show you when you get here.”

 

It was obvious that Kyle’s bullshit detector was on the Fritz. I wonder if his gaydar was heightened.

 

I finished organizing things I needed for rehearsals and picked up my car from the friend who was using it while I was gone. As I began the one hour drive into Fort Collins, I decided to call Clay.

 

“Where have you been? I thought you were supposed to land an hour ago!” He sounded worried. How cute!

 

“I went home and changed and showered. Now I am on my way to Kyle’s.” I paused. He sounded scared. “Were you seriously worried about me? Me?”

 

“I worry about you when you’re not in my sight. When you didn’t call, I got scared.” He sounded a bit relieved now.

 

“Awww… thanks sweetie.”

 

“I miss you, Rory. I know it’s only been like… a couple hours. But I do. I love you, and I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too, Clay. I have to go. I’m not the best person to be driving and talking on a phone.”

 

“Your hand-eye co-ordination is impeccable, you’ll be fine.”

 

“Yes, but you need to relax. I will let you go. I love you.”

 

“I love you too, baby. Bye.”

 

I powered off my phone and sat at the wheel. I knew I wanted to go see him, but I also knew that I couldn’t leave Downfall without a singer for the first rehearsals. I got out of my car when I made it to Kyle’s about an hour later.

 

“You’re lucky I taped it.” He said, sitting in front of his TV.

 

“Taped what?”

 

“This.” He pressed play. It was ON AIR with Seacrest. It was their weekly gossip report.

 

Clay Aiken engaged? Reports have it that Clay Aiken popped the question to his drummer girlfriend Rory McCabe. The word is he did it after the show in St. Paul; the last show of the Independent Tour with Kelly Clarkson. We’ll ask him tomorrow when he stops by for a visit.

 

I stared at the screen and laughed. Kyle was staring at me.

 

“Kyle, I told you to not believe that stuff. Your bullshit detector must be stronger than that.”

 

“But it’s on Ryan’s show!”

 

“Since when did Ryan fucking Seacrest know everything? It’s Hollywood hogwash! The last time I checked, I wasn’t engaged.” I showed Kyle my ring-less finger.

 

“Why did you say you would say no if he asked you?”

 

“Because it’s way too soon, Kyle. We’ve only been together for 4 months! There’s rushing into things and then there’s craziness.”

 

“Do you love him?”

 

“Of course.”

 

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders and went about his business. I went into the office and turned on the computer. I knew that with just a few short clicks of a mouse I could book a flight to London and meet him there. I could do that…

 

But should I?

 

“KYLE!!” I yelled.

 

“I didn’t thrash your board, it was Freddie!” He said, running into the office.

 

“No, not that! Should I go to London?” I asked, then immediately wondering what he did to my old board.

 

“For Clay?”

 

“No, for the fish and chips, of course for Clay!” Who did he think I was going for?

“No. You’ve got rehearsals. You should just have this time to miss the hell out of each other, and then when he comes back, you and he can have sex like wild animals all you want.” He stopped. “You’ll be fine, honey. It’s only a few days. In the meantime, read those articles I saved for you. There quite funny. There are a few reviews, and when word hit you and Clay are an item, there are some funny gossip columns in there.”

 

No matter how much I tried to fight it, Kyle was right. I had rehearsals. But I missed him; I wasn’t used to being away from him. I looked over the headlines of the articles and smiled. Some of these were just downright funny.

 

DENVER NATIVE LANDS HER IDOL

 

DOWNFALL’ER RISES HIGH ON IDOL TOUR

 

RORY AND CLAY EYEING THE ALTER?

 

It was all the same to me. I picked up my guitar and started to head back to Denver. Rehearsals started in a few hours.

 

~~

 

I fumbled with the keys in the door. I was tired. It was two in the morning. And I was jet lagged. My bed was calling me, my bed which I slept in for a while. I finally got the door open and I dragged myself inside. I felt my way into my bedroom and fell on to the bed. The last memory I had of my bed was making love to Clay just weeks before. I smiled as my memories drowned my thoughts. I would sleep sound with those thoughts.

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Two - You Betcha

 

“The sun rises on another day

Just more things that I can see

Waiting for you to finally say

How much you really miss me.”

 - Another Day - original song by ME!

 

 

“Hello?” I picked up the phone in a groggy state.

 

“Good Morning, darling. Did I wake you?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“How was your night off?” I said, yawning.

 

“Lonely.” He said. I could hear him playing with Raleigh.

 

“Me too. So, when does your flight leave?” I asked. Ahh, nothing like making small talk. I knew when his flight left, but I just loved hearing his voice.

 

“In about 8 hours.”

 

“That’s not bad.”

 

“I’m going to miss you. I miss you right now, I’ll miss you in an hour, Ill just… miss you.” He blabbered.

 

“Clay!” He stopped. “I miss you too.” I heard him sigh. “I know I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I was thinking about coming to London.”

 

“Really?” That got him excited.

 

“Well, sort of. I was going to but I realized if I went out there then I wouldn’t be able to miss you. Besides, I’ve already endured hours of rehearsal.”

 

He sighed again. I think I got his hopes up. “You’re right, you’re always right.”

 

“Not always, but I do try.” I said.

 

There was a long silence.

 

“So there are rumours that we are engaged.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“Yeah. Ryan’s going to ask you about it today. I just thought I should let you know.”

 

“Who thinks I’m engaged?”

 

“Seacrest! The rumours say you proposed in St. Paul.”

 

“I’ll set him straight.” He said. “I’m really excited about tomorrow. Posh Spice will be there!”

 

“She’s married and you’re taken. Won’t Kelly be there?” I said laughing.

 

“Yeah, a lot of Idols will be there.” He said.

 

“That’s great, Clay. I hope you have fun.”

 

“Thank you Rory. I better go; I have to head to rehearsal for Ryan’s show. It’s going to be strange with out you. Are you going to watch?”

 

“Of course! Kyle and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I heard him laugh. “Maybe I should call into the show. You know, for back up.”

 

“I’ll handle Seacrest. You sit back and relax. I miss you.”

 

“Okay, I miss you too. Call me when you get into London.”

 

“Will do. I love you.” He said.

 

“I love you too.”

 

I hung up the phone and got ready for the day. The first full day of 4 without him.

 

~~

 

Open your eyes

Hear all your voices inside my head

It’s no surprise

I’m filtering through all the things you said

 

I can’t believe that you’re here again.

You keep pretending there’s no end

 

If I’m such a loser then why you hang around me?

You always try to change me you always say ‘if only’

If I keep listening to everything you said,

You’re so miserable

And I’m invisible

This love’s predictable

You’re so typical

 

“RORY! He’s on!!” Kyle yelled from the lounge in the studio. The band and I were on stage, but I quickly ran to see him.

 

“He’s fresh off a nationwide tour with fellow Idol Kelly Clarkson. Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for Clay Aiken!”

 

Clay greeted the crowd and sat next to Ryan.

 

“He’s so lucky.” Kyle sighed.

 

“Who? Ryan or Clay?”

 

“Clay. He gets to sit next to Ryan. Meanwhile he’ll never even acknowledge me.”

“Clay, how’s life treatin’ you?”

 

“Fantastic. Everything is amazing.”

 

Clay looked amazing. I could cry. Why is this man so adorable??

 

“You did a lot on this tour, didn’t you?”

 

“I got to go all over the country with a very large group of friends. I had a blast!”

 

“I’ve gotta bring this up. I hate to break hearts, but, is it true?…” He did his patented pause for suspense. “That you and Rory, the drummer for the tour, are engaged?”

 

The crowd roared. I needed a tissue.

 

“We’re together, but we’re not engaged. Nice rumour though, it got heads to turn.”

 

“Well we heard different.”

 

Clay laughed. “Nope, not engaged.”

 

“So then things with Rory are good?”

 

“Things with Rory are great. She is back home in Denver. Actually, I need you to do me a favour.”

 

“Sure thing.”

 

“Can you say hi to Kyle Day? He’s a fan.”

 

Kyle squealed as Ryan said hello and waved. Clay was laughing hard.

 

“Clay, stop changing the subject. You found more than just a music experience on this tour. You found Rory behind the drums.”

 

“Rory was the drummer for the tour and she’s obviously going to come with me this summer. We started out as friends, and became closer and closer.”

 

“Is she a fan of Idol? Did she vote for you last season? Is she voting this season, or is she obviously biased?”

 

“I know she watched a bit of the first, but the second one she admitted to not watch all the time. We haven’t been following who could win this year, but we all have our picks. We would watch it a bit on the bus.”

 

Uh oh. Don’t tell him we shared the bus! No!!!

 

“Wait, she stayed on your bus?”

 

“Yup. She had her own bunk and we hung out. She helped me win Scrabble against Kelly, which is a hard thing to do. She did nothing but sleeps; eat while watching CSPAN and talk.”

 

“Hold on, she watches CSPAN?”

 

“Well, she doesn’t watch it. No one really watches it, it’s just on in the background. She also…” He paused for the laughter. “She skateboards, is obsessed with hockey and gets mean when you touch the drum set. Especially her new ones. She’s weird.”

 

“Oh, so she’s your dream girl?”

 

“You betcha.”

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty Three - Yes, Drill Sergeant! (Not what you’re thinking!!)

 

 

I stayed staring at the TV long after the commercials interrupted. He was about to perform, without me. They performed my song, “Perfect Day”, a song I loved playing. His voice filled my head.

 

“Just as long as she’s in my arms

It’s gonna be a perfect day.”

 

Kyle and the rest of the band awed as I sat there and cried. It had barely been a day and I was already sad. I was blubbering because I missed my boyfriend. This was a new experience for me. I never had the opportunity or the urge to miss Chuck. I stood up and went back to rehearsing. I wanted to make my performance of “Always in my Heart” perfect for when I dedicate it to Clay.

 

A few hours later, it was getting late. The band hadn’t eaten yet and they were in dire need of smoke breaks. I decided to lay everything out and take some charge. Call me Drill Sergeant Rory McCabe.

 

“We’re going to work through the night if we have to. Jimmy, you’re going to stop playing such crappy drums. You’re using mine, they’re in the basement.”

 

“Are you serious? I get to play the Metallica drums?” Jimmy asked.

 

“Anything for a great sound.” I said. “Okay, 2 hours for dinner. Pizzas on me.” I said. I was in the ZONE!

 

The band ordered all the pizza they wanted and I went out to make some phone calls. I sat in my car and called some people who could hook me up with killer equipment. One of those people was Mr. Randy Jackson. He co-ordinated the band for the Idol and the Clay Kelly tour, so I called in a favour. He was able to hook me up. New amps, new lights, new microphones.

 

“Randy, you’re the best. I owe you one. You’re an angel!” I said, in relief.

 

“Anything for a friend. Did you see Clay on Seacrest?”

 

“I did. It’s what’s inspiring me to put on a great show and give the band a series of shows to remember.”

 

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll come out to your show and if I really like the guys, I’ll send them to someone in LA.”

 

“You’d do that for them?” I asked in shock. The band would plotz!

 

“If they’re as good as you say they are, I will.”

 

“Thank you, Randy. You’re amazing.”

 

“Talk to you later, dawg.”

 

“Bye.” I leaned my head back and smiled. I was excited for them. They would love their big break sometime soon.

 

The phone rang and I lifted it slightly off the seat, just to see who it was. If it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t answer it. But it was Clay’s cell number.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, how are you sweetie?”

 

“Tired. You were great on Seacrest.”

 

“Thank you, darling. It was strange not having you behind me. I miss you.”

 

“Clay, I’m always with you in spirit, you know that.”

 

“I know. Listen; can you do me a favour?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Can you look behind you?” He said. Suddenly, his voice was closer. Much closer than the phone to my ear. I smiled as I looked behind me. He was standing directly next to my car door. I swung the door open and stood up and hugged him.

 

“Surprised?” I couldn’t say anything. I just hugged him tighter. “I don’t care what you say, you’re coming to England.”

 

“You break the news to Downfall.” I said, wiping away a stray tear.

 

“They already know. Come on, let’s go inside and say goodbye to everyone. Then you have to go pack.” He said, touching my head, pushing the hair from my face. “Are you ready?”

 

I him to me and I kissed him. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too. Now come on, our flight leaves in 2 hours.” He took my hand and brought me inside.

 

So this was why Kyle stuck around.

 

“It’s about time you showed up! To save some time, I already packed for Rory. The luggage is in the trunk of her car. Rory, your passport and other necessary paperwork is in your back pocket; I slipped it in there when you went on your generosity tangent.” The room was laughing. Then Kyle took our arms and lead up to the door. “Have fun, stay out of trouble; the band will rehearse without you. BYE!” He pushed us out and he slammed the door. I stared at the door as the “Knock First” sign dangled.

 

“We don’t want to upset the man.” He said, from behind me. I turned around and met his eyes. “Since we have some extra time, we could go back to your place,” He kissed me. “Find something we can do to pass some time.” He kissed me again, but this time deeper. “Watch CSPAN.” Kissed me once more.

 

“Sounds good.” I said. We got into my car and started to drive home. “Clay, how am I supposed to miss you if I go with you?”

 

“Easy, you don’t. I’ve cut out the middle man.”

 

I smiled.

 

“You want to come right?”

 

“Of course! I’m just really surprised. Pleasantly surprised.” I said, parking the car next to my apartment building. I turned off the car and turned to him. “Last night I laid in my bed, remembering what we had done there the last time I was home. And I cried. I missed you so much; I couldn’t help but let my emotions fall over those memories.”

 

He leaned over and kissed me. “Let’s make some more memories.”

 

 

Chapter Thirty Four – du Maurier Conversations

 

 

On the plane, I watched Clay sleep.

 

I thought about everything that had suddenly happened. I suddenly was a flight to London England, when just a day before I convinced myself that it was the last place I should be. I stared off into the distance.

 

“Rory?”

 

I looked over, and Clay was awake.

 

“Hey, you should go back to sleep.”

 

“Are you okay? You look a million miles away.” He said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

 

“I’m fine, really.” I said.

 

“Why do I get the feeling I jumped the gun? I just swept you off your feet without asking.” He said, taking my hand.

 

“When? A few hours ago or in January?” I said smiling. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.

 

“I mean bringing you. I really should have planned this better.” He said.

 

“I love this Clay. This spontaneous, generous Clay. The Clay who told me he loved me in a rental car in Raleigh. If you hadn’t done this, I would still be wallowing in my own loneliness back in Denver.” I said. He smiled.

 

“I’m glad you came.”

 

“I am too.”

 

~~

 

When we landed, we were swept to our hotel. It was morning. Jet lag was lingering.

 

“Kelly is on our floor. So is Tamyra and Ryan Malcolm, the Canadian Idol.” Clay said as we went up to our floor.

 

“Ryan is here?” I asked in shock.

 

“He is with 19E.”

 

I went into a mini state of panic. Ryan was a close friend to Chuck. I had a feeling Ryan was a pawn in Chuck’s jealousy. Chuck must have known that I may have showed up with Clay, so he sent in a pawn.

 

“Ryan’s a friend of Chuck’s. He might try something.” I said dead-pan.

 

“They know each other?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay, we’ll keep an eye on him. Jerome and Joe will too.” They nodded.

 

“Let me talk to Ryan. We were friends at one point, just let me see if I can get it out of him.”

 

They all reluctantly said that I could approach Ryan alone. There was a rehearsal that Clay and Ryan would both be at. I kept a close eye on Ryan. He hadn’t seen me yet. I saw him leave out a side door, so I decided to follow him. Clay was in an interview and Jerome and Kyle were covering him. I tiptoed out the door. Ryan looked back, he was lighting a cigarette. He looked back and saw me as I walked towards him.

 

“Can I bum a smoke?” I asked. I hadn’t smoked in years, but old habits die hard.

 

“Sure.” He said, offering me the pack. I took one and lit off of his.

 

“I haven’t had a DuMaurier in so long.” I said.

 

“Not since you dated Chuck.” He said.

 

“So what does he want you to do?” I was blunt. Sue me.

 

“He just wanted me to freak you out. Threaten. I won’t though. I may be Chuck’s friend, but I won’t stoop to his level. Besides, I was friends with you once.”

 

“I’m sorry I broke things off with you. You’re a great friend. And an Idol! Congrats!”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So, the next time you talk to Chuck, tell him the truth. Tell him if he really wants to try to break me and Clay up, he’s going to have to try himself.”

 

“Will do, Rory. Chuck wouldn’t understand love if it bit him in the ass.”

 

When I went back inside, Clay was looking for me. He looked upset.

 

“Where were you? I saw you one minute, the next minute you’re gone.” He was frantic. His eyes were wide.

 

“I talked to Ryan. It turns out that Chuck did ask him to say something, but since Ryan and I were once friends, he wouldn’t do it.” I said.

 

“That doesn't explain why you vanished.” He was still upset.

 

“I’m sorry Clay. I didn’t mean to worry you. But I can take care of myself.

 

“You scared me.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

He gathered everything he brought with him and we went back to the hotel. We only had a few hours to get ready for the night’s festivities. I was sure Kyle had packed something suitable for a trendy UK Pop party, and low and behold he had. He was the best gay best friend ever. He chose a pair of black hip hugger pants, a pink t-shirt and a pair of my best skater shoes. To finish the look he packed my studded belt and a silver bracelet that he gave me on my high school graduation. I left my hair down and applied the necessary makeup. Was I stealing my look from Avril Lavigne? Blatantly.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty Five - Pink


Clay had been in the bathroom for a while. Longer than usual. I peeked my head in. Oh no!

“You shaved the beard!”

He was rubbing his cheeks.

“I had to.” He said softly. “Not only was it getting on my nerves, but we’re in England. I’ve gotta look classy.”

“No! I’m going to miss it.” I said, rubbing my fingers across his smooth cheek. He looked at my outfit and smiled.

“You look amazing. Avril Lavigne has nothing on you. It’s pink!” He said, rubbing the shirt with his thumbs on my sides.”

“What? You’ve never seen pink on me?”

“No. It’s on your eyes too!” He noticed the eye shadow. “What happened to my tough and skater Rory? You’ve replaced her with … Lorelai.”

“I can go get the skateboard and skate the red carpet. I thought I would let Lorelai come out for a while.” I said, putting my hands on his shoulders.

“I like it when Lorelai comes out to play.” He kissed my cheek.

I looked at Clay’s outfit. “You look quite snazzy yourself. Very classy, with the tie, and the pants,” I touched the top of his pants, and left it there. “… and the clean face.”

He leaned in and kissed me. With every moment, it became deeper. Our tongues mashed together in exploration. “If we continue like this, we’re not going to make it out of here.” He continued to kiss, but by his tone, he knew we shouldn’t be. “But that may not be a bad thing.” He continued to say. But I pulled him back to me and I kissed him.

“Come on, we have to go. Schmoozing awaits us.”

“You’re right, you’re always right.” He said.

“I’m not, but I do try.”

He took my hand and we headed to an awaiting limo. Ryan was waiting in the lobby with Joe.

“Hey Ryan.” Clay said, staring at him.

“Turns out were sharing a limo!” Ryan said. I looked at Clay and I was sure I could read his mind. He thought there was something fishy. Jerome assured that it was Simon Fuller’s idea because of their “Wildcard” connection.

“Okay, we don't want to be late. Let’s go!” I said, taking Clay’s hand and walking out to the car. We piled into our limo with our respective security. Clay & Ryan talked the entire drive. Neither talked about Chuck, but they did talk about hockey.

~~

My first red carpet and I was walking with someone I loved. I felt the love all around. But not a lot of people were there to see him. I liked the little attention they had towards me, because no one knew who I was. Probably because my name wasn’t David or Victoria Beckham.

“I think we’re going to have to leave early.” Clay whispered in my ear.

“Why’s that?”

“Because we have to leave early for Orlando in the morning.” He smiled and continued walking.

Back it up! Did I say I could go to Florida? No. I had to get back, not go to Florida. I had to let him down gently. Clay had to know that I couldn’t just put this project on hold to meet his needs. This was a huge project for me, and until it was said and done, I couldn’t be “Clay’s drummer”. I was “Downfall’er”. I thought about telling him before his performance, but I didn’t want to hurt him. It needed to be done, though.

“Clay, I need to talk to you.”

“Can’t it wait? We’ve gotta get in there.” He said, rubbing my shoulder.

“No it can’t. Clay, I can’t come to Florida with you.”

“Why not? I thought you’d want to do that show. Besides, I already talked to the band; they said that it was okay. Rory, I need you there.”

“Clay, the band only said it was okay because of who they were talking to. Clay, this is a huge priority for me. You’re treating it like I have all the time in the world. But I don’t. I’ve been so distracted by these gigs. I walked down that red carpet out there thinking about lighting cues. I can’t go to Florida. I have to get back.”

“Rory, you know that I support you 100%. I just thought that you might want to perform with me again. I guess I was wrong.” He said, walking away.

Why doesn't he understand that I can’t revolve my life around his gigs right now? On the tour and on the upcoming tour, it’s different. This is a huge deal for me. This was something I was doing for closure. Time to say goodbye and good riddance to something pre-Clay, because the rest of my life will be all Clay. I went back to the side door I used earlier. Ryan was there again, smoking like a chimney.

“Hey Ryan.”

“Hey. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Clay is beginning to resemble Chuck.” I said, bluntly.

“In what way?”

“In the ‘forcing me to do something without my knowledge’ way. He automatically thinks that I will drop everything for him, and I will, but not Downfall. I can’t do that.”

“He loves you.”

“And I love him, but I love this last opportunity to front Downfall. I love playing, singing…” He offered me another cigarette. “I need to separate myself from him professionally to get this done. Its just a few more shows. Then I’m all his, but until then, distance may be the best thing.”

“Tell him.”

“I intend to. Can you do me a favour?”

“Anything for a friend.”

“If you see him and he asks where I am, I went home.”

Chapter Thirty Six - Misunderstood


When I got back to the hotel, I rushed upstairs and gathered my things. I needed to make a run for it, but I sat down at the desk and wrote him a letter. I had to tell him everything on my mind.

Dear Clay,

At one point in time, I lived the life that you live right now. Even though I travelled the world as an innocent eyewitness, I winced at the thoughts of maybe I was missing out on something wonderful. I’ve already gotten that something wonderful, that was you, but now it’s Jim, Mike and Joe’s turns. I like helping them with their chance. This can mean so much for them, I just want to put them on the right path and watch them succeed without me.

You know I love it when you surprise me. I love you for it, but until these Downfall shows are done, I need to focus. And you do too. You’ve got shows and a Christmas album to worry about.

So, I’m not coming to Florida. My replacement will be there. I’ll be in Denver, doing my thing. You’ll be basking in the sun of Florida, doing your thing. I love you. If ya can, try to get some sun. You’re too pale! (I’m kidding, honey)

(Since I know you’ll worry, I’ll give you my flight info. Virgin Airlines Flight 595 to New York. American Airlines Flight 704 to Denver.)

Call me when you get to Orlando.

Love, Rory.

I slipped the note into an envelope and put it on his pillow. I packed my things, called a cab and made my way down to the lobby. There was a crowd in the lobby that I got swelled into. But as I tried to fight my way out, I saw Clay running into the lobby. My fight stopped and I tried to hide in the swell. When he was on the elevator, I continued to fight my way out and I finally got to my cab.

“Heathrow Airport, please.”

~~

There are no words to describe it. It’s double jet-lag. I was only in England for a handful of hours, but I was exhausted. I spent more time on planes than I did in England. Finally landing in Denver, I called Kyle.

“How’s the fish and chips?” Asked Kyle.

“I’m home, can you come get me?”

“You’re what? What are you doing home?”

“HA, I’m surprised he hasn’t called you. Just come get me, okay?”

“I thought…”

“Just come get me.” I said, hanging up. I sat at the curb, wearing my sunglasses. I was almost dinner time, and the sun was setting, but I needed the glasses to hide my fatigue. About 20 minutes later, Kyle pulled up in my car and I threw my bag into the backseat. I climbed in and he started to drive.

“Start from the beginning.”

“Did you know he was taking me with him to Orlando too? Did you know that when you knew full well that I needed to plan these gigs?”

“I thought you’d want to. It’s Disney! Forget Downfall.” He said. He was a kid at heart, and head.

“No, Kyle. For a second time in my life, I felt like I was leaving Downfall behind. I felt awful. They don’t necessarily need me, but I need them. I need to finish something I started. They have a huge opportunity in all of this, and I want to be there when it happens so I can be the first to wish them luck.”

“What huge opportunity?”

“Randy Jackson will be there. I want to get them out there. And I needed to take a break from Clay professionally to let this happen.”

Kyle was silent. “Okay.”

He dropped me off at home and helped me get inside with my luggage and called the band telling them I was home and we’d rehearse. I fell right asleep.

~~

The next day I went about my business and on with rehearsals. The band sounded great as usual, but Jet Lag was in my voice and it was noticeable. I hadn’t heard from Clay. I knew he was busy, but I also knew he was pissed off at me. He needed to understand that I was doing this so I can give myself to him completely, professionally and personally.

After a long day of rehearsing, I went home, put a bag of popcorn into the microwave and turned on the TV. I put on CSPAN and started to get ready for a lazy quiet evening. But the phone rang, and I knew exactly who it was.

“Hello?”

“Rory?”

“Hi.”

“Hi? You leave without telling me, or… or... saying goodbye and all I get is a ‘Hi’?” He was pissed. His eyes were probably wide and pupils probably dilated.

“I’m sorry, Clay. I truly am. I hope you understand.”

He sighed. “No, I don’t.”

“Did you read the letter?”

“Yes, I read it, but I don’t understand why you left without saying goodbye at least. I mean, don’t I deserve that much? I found out you were gone when Ryan came back telling me you went home.”

“Clay, these shows are important to me…”

He interrupted me. “And I’m not?”

“You’re very important to me. But all I have on my mind is getting these shows out of the way and getting them done right. It’s a distraction when I have other priorities elsewhere. So I had to distance myself from playing drums for you until this is out of the way.”

“So if Downfall impresses a few people, you’ll reunite with the band, leave my band and in the process, leave me?”

“Absolutely not, Clay.”

“I don’t get it Rory.”

“Just listen, okay?” He was silent. “Randy is going to come to the last show. If he likes what he hears from the band, then he’s going to spread the word about Downfall. That they’re a hard working bunch of guys and that they’ll be desperately looking for a singer, because I have a full time job already. I won’t be their singer; I’ll be a drummer, your drummer.”

He stayed silent for a few moments longer. “So,” He sighed. “You’re really just doing this so that they get discovered? You’re doing all this work for them? Nothing of it is for you?”

“I’ve been discovered by Randy before, and that’s how I got my job. I’ll only play drums for you.”

“Rory…” He sighed again. Well, we had a good run, but it sounds like it could be the end. “You’re so sweet!”

“Well… what?” I was shocked. “After deserting you in London and refusing to play a show with you, I’m sweet?”

“You’re putting other people before you. And you, in a very roundabout way, put me first too. You stopped me from really jumping the gun. Hence, you’re sweet.”

I was still shocked. “Uhh…thanks?”

Chapter Thirty Seven - Missing Romance


“I’ll be out there on Monday, okay? I’m going to LA after I make a little stop in Raleigh over the weekend.” He said, making definitive plans for his visit.

“Okay, I can come pick you up from the airport. What time does your flight come in?”

“About 3.”

“Okay, I’ll be there with bells on.” I said.

“How about you be there with nothing on?” He flirted.

“There’s the horny, feisty Clay I love.” I said, laughing.

“You know, if you hadn’t left London, I had a romantic evening planned.” He said, softly. Aw, Rory, you’re an idiot. I thought.

“No, you didn’t, you’re just saying that to make me feel even worse than I already do.”

“I’m serious.” I could hear him settling into his comfortable hotel bed. “Do you want me to tell you about it?”

“Should I get into bed for this too?”

“That’s a great idea, baby.” He said in a low and raspy voice.

I did as I was told and got into bed. “Okay, I’m ready baby.”

“Kay, well, first we were going to have dinner. Just the two of us, no security. Somewhere casual but romantic none the less.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” I smiled as I found a comfortable groove in my mattress.

“Then, I was going to take you back to our room and we’d use that wonderful Jacuzzi tub they gave us. We’d sit in the tub and I’d kiss your neck. You’d be sitting in front of me, leaning against my chest. Just relaxing in the bubbling water. Then we’d get out, get into bed, and make love, over and over… then…I… there was one surprise I don’t think I should tell you about.”

“Mmmm, please tell me?”

“Well, let’s just say that the Cheese Whiz would come in handy but not for sandwiches.”

“Well that was its initial purpose.” I joked.

“I miss you, Rory.”

“I miss you too.” I said. “You’ll be here in three days. And when you leave, you’ll be taking me with you.”

“Rory?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still want to move to LA?”

“Yes, I do.”

“When do you think that’s going to be?” He asked, tentatively.

“When do you want me to?”

“Are you serious?”

“Well… I’m paid until the end of April for rent. I have nothing else tying me to Denver, and a heck of a lot more pushing me to California. I can move in May.”

“Are you serious??” He was excited.

“Yeah, I am. I can be out there in May. That is, if I’m moving in with you. If I’m finding an apartment, it may be longer.”

“You’re coming to live with me. Wow… I can’t believe it! I’m really excited!”

He started to talk about how wonderful it will be when I move there. I knew that it would be a lot of sacrifices and compromises. But I knew I was ready and willing. He wound up talking all night.

“How have rehearsals been?” He asked.

“They’ve been great. The guys are really excited about playing. Rumour has it the first two shows are sold out. We’re getting lots of hype.”

“Do the guys know that Randy’s going?”

“Yeah… I told them. They’re already talking about who could replace me when the shows are done.” I said.

“So, are you going to sing a song to me?”

“You bet. I’m going to serenade you all night.”

“Well, fine, because I’ll be doing other things to you all night.” He flirted.

“Keep it in your pants, Clay!” I laughed.

“But it’s already out.”

I couldn’t tell if he was joking.

“Really?”

“Rory, just talking to you gets me going… Of course, I am trying to keep it under control. I can’t wait till I see you.”

“Monday is coming soon. It’s already Saturday and it’ll come faster.”

“You bet it will.” He joked.

“My horny boy.”

“Guilty. I’ve gotta love the Cheese Whiz.”

Chapter Thirty Eight - In My Dreams…


“Kyle, hurry up! You need to get your ass here! I have to be at the airport in 45 minutes!”

“I’m ten minutes away! Should I stop for coffee?” He asked.

“NO! Just get here!”

I slammed the phone down and resumed pacing about my apartment. Everything was set… but I was still nervous. The nervousness had been coming and going all weekend. Pre-show and pre-Clay jitters were a pain in the butt. But I had one night where stress relief came in the form of phone sex with Clay. That was a first. It was awkward, yes, but still relieving.

Pacing wasn’t doing me much good. I was doing nothing but wearing out the hardwood floors. I sat down and stared at the ceiling. The only reason I was nervous for Clay is because of something he said on Sunday night on the phone.

“There’s something else I was going to do in London.”

“With or without the Cheese Whiz?” I joked.

“Without. You know that balcony we had?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, after we made love, I was going to take you out there… get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife.”

All the oxygen left the room.

“Rory?”

“Huh?”

“I was going to ask you to marry me.”

“Wa… wah?”

“I can tell you are freaked out by this.”

“Wha?? You… why?”

“Because I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but most importantly, we’re great together and I love everything about you…”

“Ma… we… no…” Words and sentences aren’t my friend when I’m freaked out.

“I think I’ll let you go. We can talk about this later.”

“Oh… kay…”

“Goodnight, Rory. Sweet dreams.”

“Bah…”


Okay, so I didn’t handle that as well as I should have. I mean, the man told me that I basically walked out on him proposing to me. I couldn’t help but feel like shit. Now, I had to see him. We hadn’t talked since that night. Sure, I missed him, but I knew the conversation would be awkward.

“Alright, here’s your car, now go get your man!” Kyle said, throwing my car keys at me. I got up and kissed him on the cheek as I ran outside.

I flew to my car and raced out to the airport. I parked on the top level and went to the Arrivals gate. Clay said that he would be in disguise but I would recognize Jerome right away. I waited patiently as people started coming from the plane. My hands were clammy and shaking. The people were starting to slow down. Less and less people were coming from the plane and I was scared. Then I saw Jerome come off the plane and walk towards me.

“Clay is just waiting for everyone else to leave the plane. When he does come, I’ll go get the luggage and meet you at the car.”

“Okay. I’m parked on the top level of the garage. You’ve seen my car, right?”

“Black Jeep with a big Colorado Avalanche flag in the back? Yeah, I’ve seen it.” He joked. I watched anxiously as he sauntered off the plane. Jerome went to get the luggage as Clay walked up to me, smiling.

“Hey, you.” He said.

“Hi.”

“I’m in Denver.” He laughed.

“Are you? Or am I just dreaming? If I jumped on you, would you catch me?”

He put down his carry on bag and held his arms open. I smiled as I jumped into his inviting arms. I wrapped my arms and legs around his body.

He was real.

Chapter Thirty-Nine - Pinch Me!


Once we were able to pry our hand off on another, we headed to the car. Jerome was waiting beside it, looking around. We walked towards him hand in hand.

“OK, do I need to go over the lecture, or do you remember it?”

“Call if I’m going anywhere.” Clay said.

“Ill be at the Hyatt.”

Jerome walked back to the terminal.

Clay got in the drivers seat and we started the drive back to my place.

“Pinch me.” I said. He was already grasping my hand in his. He set my hand down on his thigh and gently pinched the top.

“Okay, so this is real.” I said.

“You’re not dreaming, Rory. I’m here. And I don't plan on letting you leave my sight…Ever.” He said, rubbing my hand.

“I like that plan.”

We made it home and I sighed as he took my hand and walked me inside. Clay dropped his bags and walked me right in to the bedroom.

“So, while I am here, am I helping you pack?” He said, pulling me onto the bed with him.

“If you want to. I’d like your help.”

“Rory… we need to talk about London, and that letter you wrote.” He got all serious on me.

“That letter, it was all honesty.”

“I know, I agree. But I want you to know that I support you in anything you do. Don’t feel like you have to run it past me. If you want to do something, you do it. As long as it has nothing to do with leaving me.

I smiled at him. “I love you, Clay.”

“I love you too.”

We laid in bed together and talked. I kissed his cheek and made sure he was real. He turned his head and kissed me back.

~~

Morning came and I had to get ready for the show. I decided to get my hair done. I dyed it and cut it. My dark brown was a lighter brown with blonde streaks. I got a new outfit for on stage and something special for Clay. Cheese Whiz. I got back home and organized things before I had to be at the venue for a sound check. I checked on Clay, he was still sound asleep. I sat in the living room and tried hard to dissolve the pre-show jitters.

What I definitely didn’t understand was why I was so nervous for this, but not for the Independent Tour. Maybe because I was the front person for Downfall, for the final time.

“Hey, why didn’t you wake me up?” He said, walking out of my bedroom with just his pyjama pants on.

“You should rest. This is time off for you.” I said. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. “I’ve already gone out shopping and come back in the time you’ve been asleep.”

“What can I say? I love to sleep.” He laughed. “So, what else besides the show is on the agenda today?”

“Relaxing.”

“I can do that, but…” He pulled me onto his lap. “I do have a better idea.” He said, kissing my neck, rubbing my back under my shirt.

“You just won’t stop will you? We had sex 4 times last night, and now you want more?”

“Hey, I’m a man in my sexual prime. I am supposed to… no, obliged to take advantage of this opportunity.” He slid his hand further up my shirt and cupped my breasts. I moved to straddle his legs and I kissed him. He grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head. He then unclasped my bra and took it from my shoulders. “You’re so beautiful, Lorelai.”

I smiled against his lips, then kissed him and moved against him. I stood up and started to take off my jeans, and he leaned forward and helped. After slipping them off, I pulled off his plaid pants, throwing them away from us. I climbed back on top of him. He was touching and playing with my breasts, and then he let his hands fall and began touching my wetness. I was gently stroking his hard member. I guided him into me and began moving against each other. He grabbed my hips and guided himself in and out of me. I couldn’t bear to take my eyes from him. He moved one hand from my hip to touch my swollen clit. Our movements became quicker as the urge to release to our climaxes became forthcoming.

“I’m gonna come, baby.”

“Come for me, let me feel you.” He was kissing my shoulder. I became weightless as we ascended into a beautiful high, waves of pleasure crashing over us. Catching our breaths, I rested my head on his shoulder and began to see again.

“Rory… you amaze me.”

“You’re pretty good yourself, sweetie.” I looked into his eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I can tell. Now, let me show you how happy I am that I’m here.” He said, lifting me off him and getting up. He walked towards the bedroom. “Come on.”

“Just a sec…” I said, running stark naked to the kitchen and getting the Cheese Whiz off the counter. “Just a little something to spice things up. Not like we need it, but it will be fun, and its proven fun before.”

He opened the lid and dipped his finger in to the jar and held it to my lips. I took it in my mouth and sucked the congealed cheese from his finger.

“Tasty…” I moaned. I put my finger in and smeared it on his chest. I began to lick it off as he sat on the bed.

“Why do I get the feeling this is going to get really messy?”

I dipped my finger in again and smeared a small amount on the shaft of his penis.

“Clean up your mess, missy!”

Chapter Forty - The Puck Drops Here


The shows were only half over. The first two shows were basically practice runs for the nights were Randy were coming. We had a new set list every night, but we would be combining them for when Randy was in the audience. Clay had come to every show, standing in the wings watching intensely as I sucked at lead vocals. I never said I was good. I was playing guitar… which I was never good at. But hey, it wasn’t on me. I had turned down my guitar to mute it and let the band’s sound flood my own. But one song, I did acoustically. I dedicated it to Clay. It was perfect.

Honey you are a rock,
Upon which I stand,
And I came here to talk,
I hope you understand,
The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you,
I came here with a load,
And it feels so much lighter now I met you,
And honey you should know,
That I could never go on without you,
Green eyes
- Coldplay, "Green Eyes"
Thursday after the show, Clay and I went straight home. Clay wanted to get me started on packing. He opened my closet door and gasped.

“What?”

He reached inside and pulled out the most embarrassing thing ever. My high school uniform.

“You… wow.” He held it up, scanning it over, probably imagining it on me. “Please tell me there are pictures of you wearing this. Oh please, let there be pictures!” He held the blue and yellow kilt up to my waist and bit his lip.

“There are no pictures.” I said. He pouted.

“Well. There will be!” He said, throwing it into a box.

“Clay? Does Kimberley know I’m moving in?”

“Yep.”

“She doesn't hate me does she? I feel like I’m pushing her out.”

“She’s moving in with her friend. Her boyfriend, actually.” He said. “Honey, Kim loves you. She respects that its time that we take the next step. She understood that within her own relationship too. She’s even donating her furniture so we don't have to move it.” He walked me out to the living room. “But I kinda like your couch.” He said, sitting in the exact spot we had made love. “I really like it.”

“Then we’ll keep it.” I said, sitting next to him. “Hey Clay?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something? It’s something I should have asked a while ago.”

“You can ask me anything, Rory.”

I hesitated. “When you first told me that you loved me, why did you decide to do it right then? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you did say it, but it was kind of unprecedented.”

He looked over at me. “What do you mean?”

“In the car, on the way home from the hockey game, back in February. What made you say it? It was out of the blue for me, but was it for you? Was there something pushing you to say it?”

He bit his lip again. “Yeah, there was.”

“Well? What was it?”

“Like I’m telling you! I’ve gotta leave some mystery to it!” He said, laughing.

“Please tell me!” I laid my head in his lap and looked up at him, taking his hand in mine and twining my fingers with his. “Tell me the story of why you said it in that moment… in that perfect moment.”

“You gave me the hockey puck.”

I smiled. “That’s it? The hockey puck?”

“No, you didn’t let me finish.” He took in a deep breath. “You gave me the hockey puck and said it was a reminder of us. A constant reminder of the building of our friendship and of us. Right then… in that moment, in that perfect moment, I knew I had to tell you. And even if you hadn’t let me into your life that night, if you hadn’t run back to me and took me in your arms… I would still be changed forever because of who you are and what you mean to me. And, while I sincerely appreciate it, I would never need a hockey puck bought at an arena to remind me of you.”

I sat up and looked in his eyes. “Wow…”

“I love you, Lorelai.” He said, kissing me. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Clay.” I kissed him back and moved to sit in his lap and I rested my head in his shoulder. “Can we talk about that thing you said on the phone the other day?” I said.

“Sure. Well, I talked; you just stuttered something not understandable.” He laughed.

“Were you… really… going to…” I was having a hard time breathing again. “Ask me?”

“In London, yes, I was.” He said.

“Okay…”

“I think the rumours started when the ring was delivered to me in St. Paul. That’s when people think we had gotten engaged.” He hugged me tight.

“Okay….”

“So here’s my question for you…” He paused. “If I asked you right now, would you be able to speak? Or should I learn your language of Stutter first?”

Chapter Forty-One - Supernatural


“What?”

“I can see you’re probably freaking out.” He shook his head. “I knew I shouldn’t have said that.” He took his hands off me and covered his face. “I mean, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have even told you about it. You won’t say it.”

“You haven’t asked me.” I whispered. He uncovered his face. “You’ve never formally asked me, Clay.”

“I haven’t.”

I smiled. “No, but I’m sure if you do… I won’t stutter.”

He smiled. He suddenly got up, nearly knocking me to the floor in the process and ran into the bedroom and came back with a small jewellery box. He took my hand and stood me up. He got down on one knee and held my trembling hand.

“Rory…” He paused. “Lorelai, will you marry me?” He opened the box and presented the ring.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He took the ring from the box. It was a Platinum ring, with a Princess cut diamond in the centre. Small diamonds were inlayed in the ring. It was absolutely gorgeous.

“Clayton, it’s beautiful.”

“I have something else.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small necklace box. “It’s for when you have to take off the ring when you play drums. You won’t have to be apart from it.”

I smiled through my tears. “You think of everything, don’t you?” I said as he put the necklace around my neck and clasped it shut.

“Anything for you, Lorelai.” He said, kissing me deep. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Clayton.”

“You called me Clayton.” He seemed surprised.

“Well, yeah, it’s only fair. You’ve been calling me Lorelai even though I hate it. I think I should be able to call you Clayton.”

A few hours later, I was at the sound check. Clay said he had some calls to make and a few errands to run and he would meet me at the venue. He said he would be at least 4 of 5 hours. But I had no idea what he was doing.

~~~ NARRATION~~~

Jerome picked up Clay after Rory left. He had made some phone calls and found out that Rory’s father, Ron was imprisoned at the Colorado State Penitentiary in Canon City, about 2 and a half hours away. He had really wanted to meet Rory’s dad. She had mentioned that he had never been allowed visitors, but could write letters to never really get a response.

Clay knew her dad was in jail for murder. He had killed his wife, Rory’s mother. He didn’t necessarily need all the information; he just needed to talk to him. He was told that he could take visitors since it had been more than ten years since his conviction. Clay needed to tell Ron about their relationships, both professional and personal.

Clay was nervous going in, but Jerome stuck around. Not just as his bodyguard, but as his friend. They sat on the other side of a large piece of glass with a phone on the side to speak into. The guard brought in Ron and he sat down.

“Mr. McCabe, hi. My name is Clayton Aiken. This is my bod-… friend Jerome.”

“Hi.”

Clay thought that Ron looked exactly like Rory. He smiled a little.

“Mr. McCabe, when was the last time you talked to Rory?”

“Talked? She was 10 years old. The last I heard from her she was just leaving to go to California to work for you. She was nervous to meet you. Her letter was a long one that time.”

Clay thought that he reminded him of Sean Connery. Very tall, well mannered, considering.

“Clay, I’m sorry. I can’t say I’ve ever heard your music. But it is nice to put a face to the name.”

“Thanks. I’ve heard a lot about you. You see… on the tour, Rory and I became very close friends. I would consider her a best friend. Then, we started to date.”

“Clayton, do you believe in astrology?”

“Pardon me, sir?”

“Do you read your horoscope a lot?”

“No, sir.”

“Now this is a complete shot in the dark, but by any chance are you a Leo or a Sagittarius?” Ron said.

“I’m a Sagittarius. How did you know that?”

“She’s an Aries. You’re signs match. Fate brought you two together. It was fate that told her to go to LA. I knew that would happen I knew that she would get over that ass-hat Chuck.”

“Mr. McCabe,”

“Have you proposed yet?” Ron said.

“How did you? Yes, I did.”

“You guys will get married in January. You may not plan it that way, but its going to be a January wedding. The snow... but no Christmas decorations. Yep, definitely January.”

“Are you psychic?”

“Sort of. I can see what will happen. I saw it when I killed my wife, but I couldn’t stop it. I get hints on what could happen in life.” He said.

“I came here for your blessing.” Clay said.

“You have it. Can you tell her I love her? And that I want to see her?”

“I can do that, sir.”

~~~ Rory’s Point Of View ~~~

I pulled into my driveway and saw Clay in the window. He had been waiting for me. I hurried inside and he opened the door for me.

“Hey! How was your day?” I asked.

“Good, Rory, I need to talk to you.” He said, pulling me to the couch and sitting me down.

“What is it, Clay?” He looked even more scared than when he proposed.

“I really hate to say this because I don’t know how you will take it. But just know I did this for you.” He said. What could be so wrong??

Chapter Forty-Two - Daddy’s Little Girl


“What is it?” He seemed so positive that I would be mad.

“I saw your father today.” He said.

“You what?”

He seemed stressed. I was stressed.

“Jerome and I drove to Canon City and saw your dad.” I stayed silent, but I think he expected me to freak out. “I found out where he was and I went to talk to him, I needed his blessing. I needed to meet him.”

I said nothing. I just sat there and collected my thoughts. My father, Ron, who I hadn’t heard from in 12 years talked to my fiancé, had given him his blessing to marry me.

“Rory,” Clay said. “Please say something.”

“Did he get my letters?” I was crying now.

“Yes. He did.” He was kneeling in front of me, holding my hands.

“Does he look okay? He’s not getting beat to shit is he?”

“No. He looks good, considering.” He said.

“So he’s allowed visitors now? I can go see him before we go home to LA?” I almost sounded like a kid with a scraped knee, asking for an ice cream cone to make it feel better.

“Of course! We can go tomorrow if you’d like. Anything for you darling.” He kissed my forehead. “So you’re not upset that I went behind your back?”

“Upset? The man I love met the man that saved my life. How can I be upset?” He pulled away from me.

“Saved?” He was confused.

“Daddy had one of his infamous premonitions. Well one came true. That my mother would try to kill me, but he killed her first.” I wiped away the tears. “Does he still have premonitions? Did he say anything about them?”

“Lorelai, he knew everything. He knew I proposed, he knew I was a Sagittarius, he somehow knows that we’ll get married in January.”

“That’s daddy.”

“Okay, honey, you need to focus. You have the last show tonight. You have to stay focused okay?” he said, kissing my forehead.

The night’s show went smoothly, but Clay and I rushed out and went straight home for a good night’s sleep. He held me in his arms as he told me the story of his visit with daddy.

~~

In the car, I sat in the backseat behind Clay as Jerome drove. It was a long way to Canon City. Two and a half hours in a car and I couldn’t bear it much longer.

“It’s not much further, Ror.” Jerome said. Clay turned around and reached for my hand.

“I called and asked if we could have a private room, but we’d only have about 15 minutes.”

I smiled. Clay, whose name could get him anywhere, got me a private visit with my dad. “Thank you, honey.” I squeezed his hand. We finally drove up to the cement building and I looked at it from the car. This is where he called home, and will call home until the day he dies. Clay took my hand and we walked inside. We were immediately escorted to a private room. The guard reminded us that we had a 15 minute time limit and went to get him from his cell. Clay and I sat in adjacent chairs and he held my hand tight. Jerome stayed and rubbed my shoulder in support. Then the door opened and he walked in. I barely recognized him.

“Dad…” I got up, expecting a hug, but his hands and feet were cuffed. But I hugged him anyway. I wanted to hug my father and I didn’t care who knew it. “I missed you daddy.”

“I missed you too. Wow… my princess is all grown up!” He looked over and finally greeted Clay and Jerome.

“Hi Mr McCabe.” Clay said.

“Good to see you again.”

We sat there for our allotted time and we reminisced about everything. We talked about the tour, my travels and he finally asked about Chuck.

“How did you dump his ass?”

“I told him it was over when it finally became clear he didn’t want me. I moved home, I moved on, and I made a contact with a wonderful musician who just so happened to be a judge on a singing competition show. He hooked me up with this tour and I met Clay.”

“Clay do you still have the hockey puck?” Dad asked. Another premonition.

He looked over at me. “Did you?” I shook my head. “Sorry if this freaks me out. Yes, I do. It’s in my house in LA. Well, our house, in a little while.”

“Clay, I want you to take care of my Rory. I love her too much. I’m glad to see that she’ll spend the rest of her life in safe hands.”

“Daddy, you’ll hear from us again. I may be moving, but I’m still going to visit now that I can.”

“I know, princess, but I’ve only wanted the best for you. That’s why I’m here.”

The guard came in and broke up our party.

“Mr. McCabe, thank you for everything.” Clay said.

I hugged dad as he responded. “Thank you for loving her.”

We walked back to the car and I sat in the back seat and cried. Clay came into the back with me and held me as I cried.

 

Chapter Forty Three - Answering Machine


Clay had taken me home and I found my way through a sea of boxes. I pressed PLAY on the answering machine and sat on the couch.

Three New Messages. First Message.

“Rory, honey, you were amazing last night. Where did you rush off to? Well, anyway, I’m just calling to say I thought you were amazing and know that even though you’re moving in with your man, I still love you. But tell him to propose already!! Its time!! Anyway, I gotta go. If I don’t see you today, I’m going to continue with the incessant phone calls!”

“You haven’t told him?” Clay asked. “Have you told Drea or… anyone?”

“No. I didn’t think I was allowed.” Well, it was half true. That, and I didn’t want word getting out.

Next Message.

“Rory! Girl! You guys were amazing! Then band was off the hook and you my dear were fantastic on vocals! Tell Clay I said hi. Lata, dawg!” It was Randy.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with us?” I asked.

“Get used to it. Once we’re back in Los Angeles, and people find out about our awaiting nuptials, they’ll be on us like a fat kid on cake.” Clay said.

Last Message.

“Hey Rory, its Chuck. I was at the show last night. I just wanted to tell you … you did a good job. Good luck with Clay. Bye.” I hit the delete button right away. How dare he…

Clay sat next to me on the couch and put his arm around me. “Rory, I don’t want to keep you a secret. I want to tell people.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Why was that so easy?” He asked, genuinely surprised.

“Because I trust you, Clayton. I know that you want to tell people and they’ll find out eventually, but I trust you to make the right decision for us.”

“Alright.” He settled in and I leaned into his embrace. “Well then I have a bit of a surprise for you. How does Washington DC sound?”

Was he kidding? “What?”

“Would you like to come with me to DC? I have this thing I need to go to.”

“When?”

“Tonight. The event is tomorrow night.”

“Well what’s going on? Is it a performance or just an appearance?” I asked.

“It’s the White House Correspondents dinner. No performing.”

“Do I have to dress up?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s why I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go. It’s a bit dressier than the BAF event.”

“No, I’d love to. But I’d have to go shopping.” I leaned over and picked up the phone. “Kyle?” Pause. “You, me, emergency shopping. Clay and I are going to DC for a White House dinner. Dressy. Yeah…” I paused again. “Jewellery?” I looked down at the ring and looked at Clay. “No, Clayton’s got me covered. Okay. Bye.”

“He’ll be here in ten minutes.” I said. “Hey, while I’m gone, do you think you can start the Music Closet?” I asked.

“What’s the music closet?” He asked. I pointed at the hall closet.

“You’ll see when you get to it.” I laughed.

He got up and looked at me with a confused look as he opened the closet doors. The closet, which was supposed to be used for linens, was from floor to ceiling CD’s and vinyl.

“Holy cow.”

“I’m a collector.”

“That you are.” He was still in awe.

I got up and stood beside him. “So you’ll start on that, right? When do we leave for DC?”

“Tonight at 11.”

“Okay. Only a few hours to shop for a dress that both is dressy enough for the White House and able to maintain my style. Phewf, thank goodness I have a gay friend to help me.”

“Is Kyle going to be helping you with your wedding dress? Or has he offered to play wedding planner?”

“Kyle doesn’t know yet. I’m going to tell him today. But I’m sure he’d want to.” I said.

“Okay, so I will pack some things for you. We’re only going to be a day. Then we’ll come back here and get you completely packed, rent a U-Haul and get you moved to my house.” He said.

“You’re the best fiancé a girl could ever ask for.” I said, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him. Our kiss grew deeper and his hands went under my shirt. Then the doorbell rang. “Oh, gotta go.” I said, running to the door. I ran out and met Kyle in the hallway.

Kyle knew of a little vintage shop that would have what I was looking for. We found the perfect pink knee length dress.

“Really? Pink? Rory, are you feeling okay? You never wear pink! I gave you that pink t-shirt as a joke, but I saw pictures of you wearing it.”

“Well, Clay likes the colour on me, so I’ll wear it for him.” I said, smiling.

“I’m so glad to see you happy again, Rory. I haven’t seen you this happy since you and Chuck were talking weddings.”

Did he have to remind me about that?

“I have every reason to be happy. But there is one more thing that you could do to make me happier.” I said.

“Rory, for the last time, I will not have sex with you!” He joked.

“Ha ha, no. You can help me pick out a wedding dress.”

Kyle stopped dead in his tracks. He dropped the dress onto the counter and his jaw dropped with it.

“Huh?”

“Clay asked me to marry him.” I said.

“Then yes! I will help you with the dress… the wedding… the cake… the food… open bar!” Kyle said.

He went on and on… Oh no, I’ve created a monster!

Chapter Forty Four - Hypothetically


Kyle dropped me off at home and I brought my new things inside. Clay was lying on the couch, sleeping, surrounded by a sea of CD’s. Despite his crazy hectic schedule, he was still able to find the time to doze. I went into my room to find that he had put some of my things into his luggage. I put my new purchases in the bag and threw in another t-shirt and pair of jeans. A knock at the door snapped me out of a daze. I had realized that sharing a bag was just a view into what was ahead. I ran to the door and opened it.

“Hey.” It was Chuck. Clay woke up and walked to the door.

“What are you doing here, Chuck?” I asked him.

“I came to offer you my congratulations.” He said.

“I got you’re message. You didn’t need to come all the way out here. Not even to see the show.” I said. Clay was standing behind me.

“Not the show… about your engagement. I saw you downtown today and noticed you talking to Kyle about weddings… I didn’t mean to spy, I just overheard.”

“Thank you… really, Chuck. But you really didn’t have to come all the way down here to do that.” I said.

“Not necessary.” Clay finally chimed in.

“Rory, I care about you. I care about you as a friend and as… one of the only women I loved.” Chuck said. How dare he…

“Chuck, you never loved me. You disrespected me, you never loved me.” I was furious now. Clay seemed emotionless. I could feel him doing something behind my back, but couldn’t tell what.

“That’s enough Chuck.” Jerome came down the stairs and walked up behind him. “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the premises.” He grabbed his shoulder and walked him up the stairs. Clay and I just stood there and stared at the fading shadows.

“That was…” I started to say.

“A scary wake up call.” Clay finished.

I turned around and closed the door behind me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and walked into his embrace.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked.

I looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

~~

We finally made it to the hotel in DC, after hours on the plane, rushing from the airport to the hotel. We were both exhausted. Clay and I found our room and we basically fell inside. Clay went right to putting things down, while I walked right to the bed and fell onto it. It was… 3 AM for me but… earlier on the East Coast…I pulled a pillow over my head and closed my eyes. Clay sat next to the bed, on the floor. He poked my leg.

“Rory?”

“Hmm??” I said which must have been muffled by the pillow.

“Did you happen to see what I packed for you?” He asked.

“No.” I pushed the pillow off my head. “I trust--… wait, you didn’t pack the school uniform, did you?”

“No, but now I’m beginning to wish I had. I just wanted to make sure you approve of my choices.” He said.

“I trust you, Clay. I’ll wear whatever you want me to. Except the uniform.” I added.

He pushed himself up next to me on the bed. I moved to lie in his arms, facing him. “But I want to see you in it. I want to see you wearing that sexy skirt...” He kissed my neck. And moved his hands in my shirt. “The white shirt…then it’ll be a race to get it off of you.”

“Clay? I don’t think we should do this. I’m tired, and not feeling great. Can we just go to sleep?” I said.

“Huh? Oh, okay.” He moved off of me. “Are you okay?”

“Just being female. Nothing to worry about.” I said.

“Okay, that’s fine.”

“Clay, what would you say if I asked that we didn’t have sex till we’re married?”

“I’d commit you.”

“Hypothetically, obviously. But seriously, if I asked that we didn’t have sex, would you respect my decision?”

He paused. “Hypothetically, right?”

“Hypothetically.”

He took in a deep breath. “Yes. I would. I have so much respect for you; I would without a doubt honour your wishes.” He paused. “Hypothetically.”

“Good. Thank you.”

“But… that was… hypothetical… right?” He asked, tentatively.

“Yeah, of course! I was just asking to … well… get reassurance. That we’re not completely about sex.”

“Don’t ever think that, Rory. Never.”

I smiled and kissed him. “Let’s get to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

“Okay, let’s get into bed. To not have sex in it!” He said. We undressed and put on our respective clothing for sleeping. We climbed in and both immediately fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up late, but Clay was probably up, though we had no where to go until the dinner. Not too many people knew Clay was in the area anyway, so he couldn’t be doing much. I, on the other hand, had a date with the bed, and didn’t plan on breaking it until extremely necessary.

“Rory? Wake up, please.” He was nudging my arm. I’ll have to take a rain check on that date with the mattress.

“Huh?”

“My mom’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”

I sat up right away and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I took the phone and started talking.

“Good…” Uh oh… I looked around for a clock, but was unsuccessful. “Morning, Faye!”

“It’s 1:30.” She giggled.

“Good Afternoon, Faye!”

Wow… I sure had it. Every time I conversed with Faye I made an ass of myself. What next?

Chapter Forty Five - Try Honesty


I talked to Faye for a little while after that and gave the phone back to Clay. I finally got out of bed and headed to the shower. After a good night’s rest, I was relieved to say everything was over. No more Downfall shows, no more stressing about lighting. It was done. Utter relief.

After a nice hot shower, I wrapped myself in a giant towel and stood in front of the mirror. I wiped off the condensation and looked at myself in the mirror. I began to dry my hair with another towel when Clay knocked on the door.

“Lor?”

“Come on in.”

He came in and closed the door behind him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just trying to wind down from so much stress. I still can’t believe that it’s all done and I’m here, with you.”

“That’s not what I meant. Rory, we haven’t talked too much about yesterday.” He said.

“Clay, you were there. You saw it all, first hand. I’m extremely glad that you met my dad, and that I got to see him before I moved. I’m surprised that Chuck had the balls to show up at my door. And now I’m in DC.”

He took hold of my hands and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he held me tight. “Do you think he’s right? About January?”

“Who? Dad?” He nodded. “Honestly. No. He said that he saw snow but no Christmas decorations. In Denver that could be April. Besides, sometimes his premonitions are wrong.”

“But it’s freaky!” He said.

“Don’t I know it?”

“Alright, it’s my turn in the shower.” He said, kissing my forehead.

“Good, hurry. You need one!” I joked. I ran back into the bedroom, holding my towel as he chased me. He picked me up by my waist and pushed me face first into the bed.

“You’re going to pay for that Lorelai Leigh McCabe!” He said. Then he grabbed the towel and pulled it off me, running back into the bathroom.

“Keep it!” I yelled back.

I got dressed and read a newspaper that Jerome had dropped off. There was an article about the Correspondents dinner. Both celebrities and politicians alike would be there. Then at the bottom of the article it read, “To be broadcast on CSPAN.”

I WAS GONNA BE ON CSPAN!!

Clay came out of the bathroom, wearing the towel he stole from me.

“You didn’t tell me I was going to be on CSPAN!” I said.

He walked closer. “Oh. Yeah, I forgot.” He sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, Rory! You’re going to be on CSPAN!” He joked.

I wrapped my arms around him. I was genuinely excited. “Thank you.”

“I knew you’d enjoy it. It combines two of your favourite things. Food and CSPAN.”

“So what else are we doing today?” I asked.

“I’m taking you on a tour of DC. I know that the last time you were here with Chuck you didn’t get to see all that you wanted to, so, Jerome and I will show you around.”

“That sounds great. Will you be getting dressed for this?” I asked.

“Do you want me to?” He was in heavy flirt mode.

“Should I answer that question?”

He hesitated. “No, I’m getting dressed.”

~~

The semi-guided tour of Washington DC was great. Chuck would have never done anything like this. Chuck’s appearance back in Denver was a real eye opener. It made me really think about everything… like that I needed to tell Clay about my engagement to Chuck. On one hand he may be better off not knowing. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. But on the other hand, honesty in any kind of relationship is essential… no, required. The thoughts haunted me the whole time while getting ready in the bathroom. I was having major zipper problems, which could only be solved by Clay coming in and helping me.

“Clay? Could you come in here please?” I called for him.

He came into the bathroom and saw me in the dress and smiled. “What can I do?”

“Can you zip me up?”

He put his hands on my back and pulled the zipper up, then put his hands on my shoulders. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. I didn’t budge.

“Rory? Are you okay?” He asked.

“Clay, I need to talk to you.” I turned around and looked him straight in the eye. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Rory, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry.” I hesitated. “Chuck and I were more serious than I told you. We were engaged. We almost eloped, almost got married in Vegas. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t marry him. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, I just… I’m so sorry. I think Chuck came by in Denver to freak me out. Probably was going to tell you before Jerome came. Clay you have to believe me when I say I am sorry. I feel horrible.”

Clay stood there with very little emotion showing. He was just looking into my eyes. He stood beside me in his striped shirt and polka dotted tie. I could only imagine what was going on in his mind.

“Clay, I know you’re upset but please say something. I should have told you, but I just couldn’t. You have to believe me when I say how awful I feel right now.”

Chapter Forty Six – You Slept with Aggie?

 

 

Seconds felt like hours. Minutes felt like days. He finally spoke.

 

"Rory, I know." He said. He reached for my hand and held it in his own. "I know all about it. Chuck told me. When he filled in for you in Columbus, he wanted to tell me. I've known all along, sweetie."

 

"You knew?"

 

"Yeah, I knew. I was hoping you would have said something earlier, but you didn't." He said.

 

"I'm so sorry, Clay." I said, wiping away a tear. "I feel like shit for not telling you."

 

"I wish you could have been more honest. I want you to be completely open with me, Rory. And I know that can be hard sometimes, because you're a natural drummer; you don’t say a lot. I want you to be open, okay?" I nodded. "But, strangely enough, I understand why you didn't tell me. I mean, who wouldn't want to forget being engaged to Chuck LaBelle?" He joked, and his laughter was music to my ears.

 

“Thank you.” I whispered.

 

“No, thank you for finally saying something.” He kissed my forehead. “Now come on, the President awaits us!” He held his arm out for me and I put my arm in his.

 

~~

 

So, this event was a lot larger than I had expected. Celebrities and politicians flooded the event and the lenses of the paparazzi cameras. From Ben Affleck to Condelleza Rice, from Martin Sheen to Jay Leno to… Clay Aiken.

 

We walked the “red carpet”, but I stayed just a few steps back from Clay. He sopped to talk to Maria Menudos from ET and then she asked for me to join the conversation.

 

“So, what’s the deal? Are you two engaged?” She asked. I panicked. I looked up at Clay, but he was already answering.

 

“Yes, we are.”

 

Yet another moment where I just wanted to jump his bones. But this was a classy event. I had to try and act classy. I just smiled and thanked her after she offered her congratulations. She then asked if we had begun planning. This is where I came in.

 

“Not yet. We’re both busy at the moment, so when we have time to slow down, we’ll see.”

 

~~

 

After every TV Gossip show interviewed us. We went inside and enjoyed the night’s festivities. I kept on eyeing the CSPAN cameras, hoping that once in a blue moon they would show me. I looked around the room and saw Ben Affleck. I wonder if he was giving free “Public Eye Engagement Do’s & Don’ts.” We sure could use some help.

 

The whole evening went alright. The President spoke. We ate. We went back to the hotel. We again fell into the hotel in exhaustion. I went straight to change while Clay fell onto the bed.

 

“I’m going to have a shower.” Then he perked right up.

 

“Can I come too?” He asked.

 

“Hmm, I don’t know. I was hoping to get clean, but you just may dirty my up again.” I joked. He pouted. “Alright, c’mon.”

 

~~

 

The next days after our DC trip, were spent packing and packing some more. I had offered to drive the 16 hour drive to LA, but Clay wouldn’t have it. He wouldn’t even let me load the trailer. He had movers do all of that for me. We were going to fly while Jerome drove. Jerome volunteered to do that for me. I felt bad for making him drive.

 

“Don’t worry, Rory. It will give me time to get away from Aiken. All that kid does is talk, talk, talk!” He joked.

 

“As long as you’re sure. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Don’t sweat it, Rory.”

 

Our plane ride was short but sweet. We slept the whole way. That’ll make any trip sweet. Sweet slumber. We wouldn’t get too much of that. Clay was performing on Leno in Vegas in just a week’s time and then back to LA the next day to do Larry King Live. I was sure I was drumming for him on Leno, but wasn’t entirely sure. No matter what song he did, I would be able to do it at the drop of a hat. My drums were already sent to LA to the rehearsal space and had their permanent place.

 

We got back to Clay’s house and went inside.

 

“Should we wait up for Jerome? Or can we just go rest?” He asked.

 

“Sleep. Good. Bed.”

 

We got up off the couch and went into his bedroom. He sighed in relief and fell onto his bed.

 

“I missed you, bed. You’re so soft, and comfortable. I wish you can come with me everywhere.” He murmured into his pillow. I crawled onto the bed and straddled his legs.

 

“Clay, honey, you’re paying more attention to the bed than you are to me.” I reminded him.

 

“I just missed Aggie so much.” He said, rubbing his pillow.

 

“Aggie? You named your bed, and you named it Aggie?”

 

He turned over underneath me and laughed. “Yeah. I got really sleep deprived and really silly and named her Aggie.”

 

“You’ve been sleeping with Aggie!” I playfully slapped him. “You two timer!” I hit him again. “And now you expect me to sleep with her too?!? You sicko!” I said sarcastically. I hit him again.

 

The hitting was playful until he pulled me closer. Then the hitting turned into hugging and holding. Then the holding turned into kissing and rubbing. Then kissing and rubbing lead to…

 

“Make love to me Clay.” He had already gotten me naked and now it became apparent. He flipped me from on top of him and kissed me more.

 

“I love you Lorelai. I’m crazy about you.”

 

“I love you.” Then he made love to me. With such gentleness and passion, he proved how much he loved me. His kisses, his thrusts, his touches… his passion as he reached his climax with me, was more than any word could say. He didn’t have to say it at all anymore for the rest of our lives, because as long as he looks at me with the same passion he did while we made love, I’d keep falling. No matter what.

 

He held me close. He kissed my neck; he made sure everything was right.

 

“Lorelai?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I think we made Aggie jealous.” He said innocently.

 

 

Chapter Forty Seven – Are you there Cher? It’s me, Kyle!

 

 

Jerome came home and I immediately started unpacking. Clay had been in and out of the studio to record songs with an orchestra and I opted to stay home and unpack. I had a few days to completely organize all my junk. Clay was still running around a lot preparing for a performance on American Idol 3, and so I decided to call Faye, since it was Mother’s Day. I called her that morning and had a nice talk with her. I didn’t humiliate myself too much, which I took as a sign that I was learning! I called the only person who was ever a mother to me in my life.

 

“Hey Kyle.”

 

“Hey sweetie. How have the first few days been?” He asked.

 

“Good, even though Clay hasn’t been here. He finally gets to ‘come home’ tomorrow and then we’re off to Vegas.”

 

“WHAT?? What?? NO! Rory, you will not have a skanky disgusting Vegas wedding, I forbid it! Holy Britney Jean Spears, not on my watch!” He yelled. “You do this to me on Mother’s Day? Of all days?”

 

“Kyle, we’re not going to get married. Clay will be on The Tonight Show when it’s there. Don’t worry. We haven’t made any plans. We’re waiting until were not as busy to start planning.”

 

“Oh thank Cher!” He took a breath. “So, when will this be?”

 

“Not until after this summer tour, after the Christmas album promotions, after Christmas. We’re waiting until it’s all over. That could be January… January.” I said, realizing that Daddy’s premonition could be right.

 

“So you’re going to Vegas too?”

 

“Yeah, for Tuesday, then back home that night.”

 

“My jet setter.”

 

“So, I just wanted to call you and wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.”

 

“Aww, thanks hunny.”

 

Just then the call waiting beeped and I told Kyle I had to go.

 

“Okay, give me a call from Vegas.”

 

“I will. Bye Kyle.”

 

I clicked over to the other line and greeted with a hearty hello.

 

“Hey Rory, you sound mighty happy.” It was Clay and he didn’t share in my upbeat mood.

 

“Hey, I was just talking to Kyle.” I paused. “Clay, what’s the matter?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just really tired. And I miss you.” He said. It almost sounded like he was whining.

 

“Are you talking to me or Aggie?” I joked. And he laughed. It felt good to make him laugh.

 

“You, silly.” He laughed again.

 

“Good, so how’s the recording going?”

 

“Good, I’m really glad it’s all almost done. It’ll be good to get a few moments alone.”

 

“Well, good. I’m glad things are getting done.”

 

“So I should be home at around four.” He said. “I know that I’ve been home every night, but, I miss you.”

 

“Yeah, it’s been crazy. I miss you too. Well, we miss you.” It was time to give him a little incentive to come home.

 

“We? Oh, you mean you and Raleigh?”

 

“Nope. I mean me and Aggie. You wouldn’t believe the crazy stuff we did today.”

 

“Rory, you mean little thing! Oh, hang on Rory.” He put me on hold. He put me on hold! “Urg… Rory. I’ve got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?” He sounded upset.

 

“Hit me with the bad.”

 

“I have to go to New York. Tonight.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Clive Davis is there and not here, and he apparently needs a meeting.”

 

“And the good news?”

 

“The good news is you can leave for Vegas tonight and I can meet you there.” He said.

 

I let out a disappointed sigh. “Okay. That’s okay. Are you going right now?”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to come home right now and get some things. I thought I would have tonight but I’m leaving on Clive’s private jet in an hour. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

 

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

We hung up. I was a bit upset that he was leaving for a plane to New York, but I knew it was for the best. I began packing and I called and booked a flight to Las Vegas. I would be leaving in a few hours, so I had time to have dinner and just relax for a bit. He came through the door and sighed.

 

“Rory, honey, I’m so sorry. I know that it’s sudden, but I’m going to try and make it so I just land, talk to Clive then fly right out. I could be in Las Vegas by morning.” He said, running around like a headless chicken.

 

“Clay, it’s okay. I understand. I’m just going to be gambling all night anyway!”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“No, but I’ll find something to do. Honey, don’t worry about me, because I will be fine. I’ll take Raleigh to Kim’s before I leave. I’ve already called her, she’ll be happy to do it.”

 

“Thank you, Lorelai.” He kissed my forehead. He put his hands on the small of my back and held me there. “Thank you.” He kissed me again. “Thank you.” He kissed my eyelid, then my nose. “Thanks.” Then he gently pecked at my lips. He ran upstairs and began packing. He was in and out in minutes flat, dragging a duffel bag down the stairs. I walked him to the door and we began to say our goodbyes.

 

“I’m going to try and get there in the morning. I promise.” He took my hand and kissed each finger.

 

“Okay. I still miss you. You’re here, but I know I could be dreaming.” I said.

 

“I miss you too. It’s going to be okay, Ror. Please, trust me.” He said.

 

“I do trust you. I always have.” I leaned up and kissed him. “Have a safe trip.”

 

“I love you, Rorzilla.”

 

“You know, that ruined a perfectly romantic moment.” I said, laughing.

 

“No I didn’t. Because you’ll think about how I called you Rorzilla and smile.”

 

“That’s true.” I said, kissing him again. “I love you too, Mr. Sugar Pants.”

 

“Ouch! That was below the belt; try to keep the gloves up!” He said. He kissed me again and walked out the door to a waiting limo.

 

 

Chapter Forty Eight – Forget Me Nott’s

 

 

As the limo pulled away, the phone rang. I ran and picked it up.

 

“Hey Kyle.”

 

“Rory, you forgot something extremely important in your old apartment. I mean important.”

 

“What? What did I for -.” I knew. Oh shit. “My pills?”

 

“Yeah. Rory? Are you in trouble?”

 

“I might be.”

 

“Go get some tests.”

 

“I have to leave for Vegas in a few hours.”

 

“They won’t take long.” He said. “Go. Be sure.”

 

I did what he said and ran out to buy 3 tests. I had put on my disguise (even though I knew I didn’t need one.) of a blonde wig and a baseball cap. It really made me look like Britney, but I didn’t care. I put it all on anyway. I raced home and did what all three boxes told me to do. Drop trou and piss on the stick.

 

Test One: Wait 15 minutes and the results screen will show either a Plus or Minus Sign. The Plus sign means that you are pregnant. The Minus means you’re not.

 

Test Two: Wait 10 Minutes. Two lines will appear if you are pregnant, one if you are not.

 

Test Three: If the swab stayed yellow, you’re expecting, fellow! If it turns purpley red, you ain’t dead!

 

Great. Very helpful. I sat by the bathroom counter and waited. I waited some more. Suddenly, I needed to pee again. Damn this small bladder of mine!! I noticed something as I sat back on the toilet. Blood.

 

“Well, that solved that problem.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

 

I decided to wait it out anyway. Why not, eh? I knew for a fact I wasn’t pregnant, but why not see if the “Error Proof Test” was right or wrong.

 

How I ever forgot my pills was beyond me. I never forget to take them. But how could I have been so clueless to not chime in when they weren’t in front of me? Why didn’t I notice?

 

The ten minutes were up and all three tests said Negative. It would have been funny if one said positive. It would have been a great laugh. I made a note of calling to find a doctor when we got back from Vegas. I called Kyle back, and he was just as relieved as I was. I then got my things together and brought Raleigh over to Kim’s house.

 

“Hey Kim, thanks for watching her.” I said, handing over the leach.

 

“No problem. Glad I could help.” She stared. “How are you doing? Everything running smooth?”

 

“Yeah. I’m finally all settled in. Except I found out that I forgot something really important back in Colorado.”

 

“Was it Kyle? I would hate to leave him there.” She said.

 

“Birth control.”

 

“Uh oh!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not. But it was a scary few minutes.” I said.

 

“Yikes. Well, you two have fun in Vegas, and I’ll see you guys at Wango Tango.” She said. I headed back to my cab and to the airport.

 

~~

 

So I decided to treat myself. First Class, a large suite at the MGM Grande. Hey, I was a talented drummer that just came off a nationwide tour, I could do it! I merely dropped off my bag and hit the casino. I made sure to tell Clay where I was staying. I didn’t get a hold of him though, I only got the voice mail, but I left him all the information. I hoped he would get to Vegas soon. I needed to tell him about the day. Though it’s scary, I could now laugh about it.

 

Woo hoo! I won 20 bucks!

 

I went back to the hotel and went into my room and laid on the bed. My cell rang and I felt around to find it.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, how is Vegas?”

 

“Great! I won twenty bucks!”

 

“Ohh, a high roller, are we?” He laughed.

 

“You bet. Where are you now?”

 

“In Vegas. I’m just coming to the hotel now.”

 

“Oh good. When did you get here?”

 

“Ah… A while ago. I didn’t go to New York. I called Clive and told him that I couldn’t meet him until after Wednesday. So we had our little meeting over the phone.”

 

“Anything interesting?”

 

“Not really, just a Gold single.”

 

“Not interesting at all!!”

 

“I’ll be up there in a minute, okay? But be ready, I have a surprise for you.” He said.

 

“Okay, but honey, we do have to talk, okay?”

 

“Sure thing, Rorzilla.”

 

“You are so dead!”

 

There was a knock on the door. I ran to get it. And there he was luggage in hand, and wearing a giant smile. I hung up my phone and jumped into his arms.

 

“Do you want your surprise?”

 

“You’re not it?”

 

“Nope.” He looked to the side and so did I. Kyle came running from behind a corner and lifted me off my feet.

 

“What? Kyle!! What are you doing here?”

 

“I thought you might want him here for the wedding.” Clay said.

 

“What wedding?” I said, oblivious to his plan.

 

“Our wedding.”

 

 

Chapter Forty Nine – Beyond Tomorrow

 

 

“Very funny.” I laughed.

 

“Rory…” He took my hand. “Let’s get married. Right now.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?” Both Clay and Kyle said in unison.

 

“No! Are you insane? We can’t get married! This… it’s insane!” I walked back into the room and turned back around. “Kyle, just hours ago you were chastising me at the thought of getting married in Vegas! What’s with the flip-flopping?”

 

“I was acting, sugar! I’m pretty good at it!”

 

“This is insane.” I sat on the bed and laughed. “Clay, you can’t be serious!”

 

He was sitting in a wing chair, his head in his hands. “Yeah… I am.”

 

“Kyle, here’s $20, go play some poker or something.” I said, handing him the money. He left the room and Clay and I sat there in silence. “What brought this on?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Love?” He said.

 

“Did you for once think that I may not want to get married right away? Did you even think about what I could have wanted?”

 

“I thought you may love me and want to be with me.” He said, innocently.

 

“Clay…” I knelt beside him. “You know that I love being with you, and I want to marry you. What’s wrong with waiting?”

 

“What’s wrong with making it official? In my mind, you’re already my wife. I just wanted to prove it in the eyes of God.”

 

“In Vegas? That’s how you wanted to do it? In some sleazy chapel on the Vegas strip?”

 

“I want to be married to you. That’s all I want.”

“That’s all I want to, but not here, and especially not now.”

 

He got up and walked around. He took off his jacket and threw it on to the bed. I stayed on the floor, pulled my knees to my chin and hugged them. He had no idea how uncomfortable I was.

 

“Not now, because it’s too soon or not now because you… you’re having second thoughts?”

 

“Not now because it’s way too soon to even be having second thoughts.” I said. He turned around and looked at me. “Clay…”

 

“No, just don’t.” He held his hand up, basically telling me to shut up. “Fine we’ll have it your way.”

 

“Clay…”

 

“But I’m telling you right now I don’t want to wait. I don’t think that we would have time to later, who knows what’ll happen beyond tomorrow.” He interrupted me.

 

“So you’re basically telling me that it’s now or never?”

 

“I guess I am.”

 

I let my head fall and I started to cry. I stood up and walked past him. “Fine.” I walked to the desk and wrote down a number. “Here’s Chuck’s phone number. Since you two did the same thing to me, you two would be the best of friends.” I threw the paper at him and grabbed my luggage and headed towards the door. But I turned around right before I grabbed the door knob. I walked back up to him. I kissed his cheek and lightly touched it with my finger tips. “And to think I was excited that I could have been pregnant with your child. I’m not, so now it’s just relief. I’m relieved that I’ll have nothing tying me to you. Goodbye, Clayton. I hope you’re happy.”

 

Then I ran back to the door and stormed out. Kyle was on the other side. “Rory?”

 

“I’m switching hotels. Wanna come?”

 

“Do I have a choice?”

 

“Nope.”

 

We walked and Kyle paid for our new room at the Bellagio. I promised to pay him back but he knew what just happened. We went to the room and I had a lot of thinking to do. Do I stick around and play drums? Or do I leave him with no one? I laid on the bed and cried. Kyle emptied the mini bar and started pouring me drinks.

 

“Shit, Rory, you need booze.” He said, handing me the entire mini-bottle of tequila. I downed it instantly.

 

“What should I do now? I just got finished moving into his house. Now I just pack it all up again? I have nowhere to go! I…”

 

“Here’s what you do.” He sat next to me. “Don’t say a word till I’m finished, okay?” I nodded. “Go back to the MGM and talk to him. He can’t possibly mean now or never. Just go and talk to him. He came here; he made plans to surprise you. There never was a trip to New York, he got on a chartered plane here and got everything ready. He reserved the honeymoon suite; he made reservations at the chapel. He did everything, for you. He is crazy about you, Rory. He is doing crazy stuff to make you happy and he just wants to make you his.”

 

“Kyle, don’t you see? This is exactly what Chuck did. And even though Chuck isn’t doing this, it’s still frightening! I’m scared! I want my daddy and I don’t care who knows it! I need time. I need to wrap my head around the fact that he wants forever and he wants it from me. I need to wrap my head around the fact that I have to make our marriage better than my parents’ marriage. I have to have time. Chuck wouldn’t give me time and rushed me and that’s why I got scared. When Clay did this, it frightened me just as much, and quite frankly, I don’t see him being like Chuck, but how will I know for certain? I need time. End of story.”

 

“Then go and tell him.”

 

“I did.”

 

“Tell him again.”

 

“I tried.”

 

“Then tell him a third time and don’t take no for an answer. This is your life. You control it. You let it be. You decide.”

 

 

Chapter Fifty – Thudding Hurts

 

 

I grabbed my room key and headed back to the MGM. I shook in the elevator as I reached the floor. As I walked off the elevator, I stared at the ground, going over what I was going to say. But I bumped into someone and fell to the ground.

 

“I’m so sorr-“ I looked up. It was Clay.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

He offered a hand and he helped me back to my feet. I never knew what it was to thud until that happened.

 

“I came to talk.” I whispered. “Where were you going in such a hurry?”

 

“To talk.” He had his hands in his pockets. “Do you want to go to the room?” I nodded. He turned around and I followed him in. I stayed at the door as he set his phone back down and the key card next to it. I slowly walked to the wing chair and sat in it.

 

“I’m sorry.” We said in unison. He smiled. I lowered my eyes.

 

“Rory… I didn’t realize just how close I was beginning to resemble something you hate. I didn’t realize just how scary it was until you mentioned it was what Chuck had done. I am so sorry. I really am. I should have known better. But I do want to be married to you. And as soon as I can. This year is going to be so busy, I guess I just wanted to get it over with and then we could go on with our lives together. But I didn’t realize that it may not be the best for you, and I am sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I do want to marry you and I’m not having second thoughts, I just need time. I really don’t want to have a marriage that mirror’s my parent’s relationship, so we need time to work on it before we get married. We need time to be able to learn all there is to know about each other inside and out. And living together on the bus was one thing, it definitely made us strong. But we still need time to do other things, okay? Clay, honey, just think about it. A wedding with our closest friends and family, in Raleigh. I’d walk down the aisle wearing a dress. Yes, me, in a dress. Kyle would be the ring bearer and Raleigh could be the flower girl. We’d be with our family. Not some Elvis impersonator. But most importantly, when we have time to spend time together as a married couple. We don’t seem to have that right now.”

 

“I know, you’re right. That does sound tempting. The thought of you in a dress, it’s kinda scary, but enjoyable, and sexy.”

 

“I love you, Clay. I know you want the best for me, but I also want the best for you too, and a Vegas wedding, with so much going on and so little time to do it, just isn’t right.” I said.

 

He walked towards me and sat in front of me on the bed.

 

“I love you, Lorelai. I’ll do anything for you. Know that. I just wanted to make my wife mine, legally, tonight. In my eyes, we’re already husband and wife. I can wait until you’re ready. Just give me the word.”

 

“I will, I promise.” I said.

 

“Let’s forget that this ever happened okay?” He took my hand. “Let’s not bring this up again, because it’s not worth remembering.”

 

I smiled. “Okay.”

 

“Now can we talk about that last thing you said, before you left?”

 

“What did I say?” I asked.

 

“That you thought you were pregnant.”

 

“Oh, that. I apparently forgot my birth control pills in Colorado, so I had a bit of a scare. But I’m not, so don’t worry.”

 

“If you were pregnant, would your decision to get married today be changed?”

 

“Probably not. But who knows.” I said.

 

“So, you’re not?” He asked.

 

“Not. Definitely not.”

 

“Darn.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said darn. You heard me.”

 

“Why darn?”

 

“I don’t know. I’d like a child.”

 

“Right now? Because I don’t. I like my job as drummer right now. If I were pregnant, I’d have to stop right away.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Loud noises, strenuous lifting and hard vibrations would be too much for the baby.”

 

“Darn, again.”

 

“Yeah. Crud.”

 

“Ding dang darn.”

 

“Crud-inski.”

 

We were able to laugh again. Well, wait, nothing happened, right?

 

“Shouldn’t you go tell Kyle that everything is okay?” Clay asked before he pulled the covers back on the Queen Size bed.

 

“Yeah, I’ll call him.” I said. I sat on the bed and he crawled in behind me. He started to kiss my neck. His hands explored under my shirt. He knew it was something he couldn’t finish, so he kept it tame. “On second thought, we can wait a little bit.” I felt him smile against my shoulder.

 

“Yeah, that’s a better idea. Let’s just lay together, like I’ve wanted to all week.” He said.

 

“Oh, I like that idea.”

 

 

Chapter Fifty One – Wannabe

 

 

The flight back to LA was rushed. Definitely rushed. Clay had a rehearsal at the AI set almost immediately after we landed, because we had decided to stay over night an extra night in Vegas. We had talked over completely what had happened, even after we said we wouldn’t talk about it again. He and I both knew that Chuck was a definite factor of my apprehension of getting married in Vegas. He was still on our case, either desperately trying to break us up or trying to kill me, because he knew that I wouldn’t be able to live if Clay were removed from my life. Clay and I both knew that I needed to take action. I needed to force Chuck into leaving my life forever. But as far as I knew, he wouldn’t stop. It got to the point where he was sending letters to Kyle. One wrote “Please Tell Rory I Love Her. Tell Her I Can Love Her More Than Anyone.” And another stating “Clay Doesn’t Realize The Mistake He Has Made. He Doesn’t Understand.”

 

Then Clay’s lawyer’s got involved. Since they were direct threats to him and us, they had to do something. The law team had issued him a warning before about posting false rumours on his website, and they weren’t afraid to do it again. It made me feel so safe and happy that they would take on such a low life piece of scum ass like Chuck. Absentmindedly, I was cracking my knuckles.

 

“Rory?”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re doing it again.”

 

“Am I?” I looked down. “Sorry. I just get so ticked off sometimes, and if there’s no drum set in sight, I take my anger out with my hands.”

 

“Oh, well, I’ll know not to anger you in bed.” He quipped. We were in a limo on the way home. Clay still hadn’t seen it with my things in. I still couldn’t believe he gave me so much leeway in bringing my stuff in. Well, most of my things, like clothes and other accessories went into his closet while the practice pads and the CD collection went into Kim’s old room. There was nothing of his really out of place. I didn’t have that much to begin with.

 

We only had a few moments before the rehearsal. He walked straight to our bedroom and immediately smiled.

 

“Wow… You’re really here. It’s not a maze of boxes anymore!” He said.

 

“Nope, I cleaned everything up, anything I didn’t need in the house I have in storage until I know what to do with it.” I said, walking to the closet and opening the door. “Most of the closet is yours. My t-shirts and jeans fit into the dresser I brought in, but I have nicer clothes that need to be hung up, so I think its better that I leave a bit of space for any more possible dressy clothes.” I said.

 

“I couldn’t agree more.” He was still looking around at the room. His smile never left his face.

 

“Later I can show you the Music Room. Its filled with CD’s my practice pads, some of my old Downfall equipment, and a few minor things.”

 

“I’m looking forward to it.” He said. He finally locked his gaze with mine and he smiled. “Welcome home, Lorelai.” He pulled me close and kissed my forehead. “Okay, tonight, well after the show, is all ours. It’ll be your welcoming party and there are only three people invited. You, me and Raleigh.”

 

“I think I can handle it. Am I allowed to come to American Idol?”

 

He looked at me like I was sick. “Are you okay? You hate American Idol. In fact, I’m pretty sure you said it sickened you when we were on tour.”

 

“Yeah, well, I have a very special place in my heart for Donna Summer.”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me.” I said. “My mother was fascinated by Donna Summer. She made me listen to it non stop, and little did I know that years later I would appreciate it.”

 

“Let me get this straight… Rory McCabe… listened to disco? Even after it was dead?” He laughed.

 

“Don’t make fun of me!”

 

He was bent over, slapping his knee. I couldn’t see the amount of laughter until he howled.

 

“Fine, laugh. But I would always listen to something better after. Like Zeppelin or Nirvana when I was in high school. It was a guilty pleasure.”

 

He stood back up and his face was red. “Anyone else? Lionel Richie? Celine Dion? The Spice Girls?”

 

“HEY! Wannabe was one of the best singles of it’s time! Don’t you be knocking the Girls!” I said, pointing my finger at him. He just kept on laughing. “Okay, you keep on laughing. But I’ll tell you right now, the next time you ask, NO CHEESE WHIZ FOR YOU!”

 

“NO! I’m sorry!” He dropped to his knees and grabbed my waist. “I’m so sorry; I’ll never make fun of you ever again. I’ll bow and scrape to you every day for the rest of our lives. I will buy you… uhh… jewel encrusted drumsticks… and… velvet covered stool. I’M SORRY!”

 

“You’re forgiven. But I get to make fun of you for that picture on Leno. That was just downright priceless.”

 

“Oh you loved it. I know you did.” He said, standing back up. He kissed me gently and wrapped his arms around me. “You wished you met me at that costume party.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, I would have loved to have known you back then. Not just for the costume party, but your childhood. I would have loved to have met you.” I said. He leaned in and kissed me again.

 

“Would you be dressed as Donna Summer?” He joked.

 

“NO CHEESE WHIZ FOR YOU!”

 

 

Chapter Fifty Two – The Package

 

 

“Well, what do you expect him to say? He’s Simon!” He said. We were driving home from Idol, and I was quite upset with something I saw backstage.

 

“But he’s such a goon! I’d love to just take a drumstick to his face. And Randy! I thought he was a cool guy, and I’ll never say anything bad about him, because I, quite frankly, like my job, but he should have known better!”

 

“Just calm down, Rory. It’s alright. I get made fun of worse on Late Night.” He said.

 

“I know.”

 

“But, you got to meet Donna Summer, right?”

 

“We watched you guys perform in her dressing room. It was so awesome. But, can I give you a touch of advice?” I said.

 

He started to laugh. “If it’s about the dancing, I already know.”

 

“Yes, it’s about the dancing.”

 

“Then speak no more.” He said. “I’ll keep the goofy dancing to a minimum.”

 

“Good.”

 

We pulled into the driveway and finally got inside. We had decided at the studio that we were going to stay in and just watch a movie or something. We did have a rehearsal for Wango Tango Thursday and Friday, but we were at a point where we could perform the songs in our sleeps. In fact, I think Clay does.

 

I went into our bedroom and changed into the mot comfortable thing I could find. I found Clay in the kitchen, going through mail. There was a large package on the counter, addressed to me.

 

“Is it ticking?” I asked. I put my ear to it. “It’s meowing.”

 

Clay jumped back and grabbed a rolling pin from the drawer.

 

“I’m kidding.” I said. “It’s from Kyle. It’s probably just some mail that got sent to me.”

 

He put the rolling pin down and gave me an evil stare. “That wasn’t funny.” He said.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

I opened the box and looked inside. On top of the box was an envelope. I opened it and read it. By the date on the envelope, this was sent before we left for Vegas.

 

Rory,

 

Just sending you some mail that got sent to my house. The letters from Chuck have stopped. I don’t know if you’ve heard but he got arrested in Canada for drug trafficking and possession. Have fun in Vegas. I know you will!!! J

 

Love always, Kyle.

 

“Kyle knew the whole time?” I asked him.

 

“About what could have happened in Vegas?” I nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Oh, how wonderful to know, more than one person was plotting against me.” I looked through the mail. “Did Kim know?”

 

“Yeah.” I guess he thought there was no use hiding anymore.

 

“Who else?”

 

“My mom, your dad, Kelly, Jerome, the rest of the band.”

 

“Well, those will be phone calls you’re gonna have to make.” I said. Anger was flaring up again.

 

“Lorelai…”

 

“Oh my god.” I dropped the letters.

 

“What? What’s the matter?” He asked, walking towards me again. I picked the letter back up and looked at it again.

 

“It’s from my old supervisor. At the group home.” I said. I quickly tore open the letter and read it.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Oh my god…” I started to laugh. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. “Oh man… someone needs to get that woman a computer or even a TV.”

 

I finished reading the letter and turned to look at Clay. “I’ve been set up on a blind date!”

 

“What?”

 

“Francine, my old group home supervisor, who doesn’t listen to any music beyond the 1950’s and doesn’t own a TV, has set me up with her grandson. She’s in her 80’s and apparently doesn’t know. Her grandson lives in New York and is going to be in Colorado for a few weeks. She set me up on a blind date!”

 

“That is too funny!” He said.

 

“No its not! I have to let the both of them down gently!”

 

“Maybe her grandson knows who you are and knows you’re engaged!” He said.

 

“True. Or maybe he’s as technologically illiterate as his grandmother and has no idea who I’m betrothed to.” I said.

 

He walked back over to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Why don’t you have fun with it? You know, get him to come down here, show him around and then let him down gently.”

 

“I can do that…” I hugged him tight. “But I won’t do that, because I don’t want to, and I just can’t seem to find my way around that!” He kissed my forehead.

 

“Come on, Rory… I am giving you permission to go out on a date with another man, to let him down gently.”

 

“What if I like him and want to dump you?” I asked, jokingly.

 

“I’ll make sure that won’t happen, because you and what’s his name, and Kelly and I will all go on a double date. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty Three – The Rebellion

 

 

Damien Nash was coming to LA. I had called him with the number that came in the letter and told him I would have lunch with him, as long as Clay and his ‘date’ Kelly could come with us. He knew none the wiser. He wasn’t the music industry kind of guy, so he had no idea who Clay was. He was coming for lunch on Sunday, the day after Wango Tango.

 

Kelly was excited to be a part of our little façade. She always enjoyed hanging out with us, but since we enjoyed our “alone time”, she wasn’t as much. Before we left for Wango Tango, we sat down at the house for lunch.

 

“So he has no idea who Clay is?” Kelly asked.

 

“He works on Wall Street. He doesn’t have a clue.”

 

“I don’t know whether to be offended or happy about that.” Clay chimed in.

 

“Is Jerome coming? Just in case?” I asked Clay.

 

“Of course. I don’t trust this guy as far as I can throw him.” He said.

 

“And judging by those arms, that’s not very far.” Kelly muttered under her breath, but we could hear. “I’m kidding!”  She paused and then decided to change the subject. “So! Wango Tango today! That should be fun!”

 

“Oh, Rory, I forgot to tell you. Simon is going to be there…with a camera or something. If you run into him…”

 

“I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind, and my fist.”

 

“Rory…”

 

“I’m serious, Clay. You’re going to have to hold me back.”

 

“Then I intend to!” He said. He sat next to me at the table. “Please, Rory, just stay calm if he comes near you. And if he does talk to you, drop the drumsticks. We don’t need you charged with Assault with 2 deadly weapons.”

 

“Just let me nose twist him!” I suggested.

 

“No.”

 

“A face wash?” I said, mimicking the legendary hockey move.

 

“NO!”

 

“A good old fashioned noogie?” I was going back to the basics.

 

“Well… NO!”

 

“You’re no fun!”

 

“I guess I’m not!”

 

“Wedgie?” I asked.

 

“You’re incorrigible.”

 

“By George, he’s got it!”

 

We left after lunch and got to the show in time. We had already been there for a sound check earlier in the day, so all the equipment was set up. I sat in the dressing room for the band, taping up my fingers with diligence and ease. This was the first full concert since St. Paul. I was truly excited. I walked out of the dressing room and looked around for a wrangler, to see how much longer until we went on stage. One said at 4:30pm. It was 4pm already. I walked around a bit, twirling my drumsticks around my fingers. Then those obnoxious sounds of Simon Cowell came from around the corner. I looked down and saw my knuckles were white around the sticks. Do not look at him; it’ll just make you mad. He was holding a camera around at everyone. He was making his way over to Clay who had just come out from his dressing room. I put my drumsticks in my back pocket and slowly walked over. Clay saw me from the corner of his eye and put his hand out to try and stop me.

 

I was about to speak when Clay really stopped me. “I have to go now, Simon. Band meeting.” He said, turning to me and lifting me over his shoulder. “Rory, don’t. He’s not worth it!” He said laughing, he turned around and I saw Simon filming every minute of the ordeal. I had to yell something.

 

“Just because you’re British doesn’t mean you can be rude!” I yelled. Yes, the stupidest thing to yell, but I had to say something. Clay carried me back into his dressing room. He threw me onto the couch and I landed in a bounce.

 

“Rory…” He said. “…he’s not worth it!” Even Clay couldn’t keep a straight face at that moment.

 

“I wasn’t going to do anything to him.” He raised his eyebrow in disbelief. “Okay, a noogie may have been on my mind, but I was only going to use it as a last result!” He kept staring at me. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know you are. It’s just that I don’t need you fighting for me. I do my fighting with Simon in the more traditional way.” He said. He sat down next to me and threw his arms around me. “I make him jealous that he said I didn’t look like a Pop star. I send him the magazines with me on the covers. The more tasteful ones. Not In Touch or anything. It’s kind of like a slap in the face for him.”

 

“You’re bad.”

 

“Look up rebellion in the dictionary, my face is next to it.” He said, sarcastically. We had a moment of silence. He kissed my cheek and then released me from his embrace. “I’m going to go make sure he is gone. You aren’t moving until I know he’s gone!” He said, smiling.

 

“I’ll behave. I promise.”

 

“Yeah, but we don’t want that.” He winked.

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty Four – The Tabloid

 

 

The next day, Clay, Kelly and I headed to a restaurant where we were meeting Damien. I had talked to him on the phone, and he called to say he could be late.

 

“Late, huh? Is that anyway to treat a date?” Clay said sarcastically. We were sitting at a table and Jerome was in the booth next to us.

 

“Clay, be quiet. You’re not even paying attention to your date.” I said, pointing at Kelly.

 

“Until Damien shows up, you’re my date.” He took my hand. “You’re not wearing the ring.”

 

“It’s on my neck. I was playing drums this morning.”

 

“Put it on.”

 

“But I have a date.” I joked. I was reaching back to unclasp the necklace, but in walked Damien. Jerome was walking in with him. I watched him as he strode towards me. Holy Lord this man was gorgeous. He came to the table and I stood.

 

“Hi.” I said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m late. LA drivers..” He said. His voice was gorgeous. A blond Adonis. Brad Pitt meets Chad Michael Murray. Holy COW! Kelly was gaping.

 

“This is Clay, and this is Kelly. Jerome, the bodyguard is here too, just in case.” We sat down so Kelly was beside Clay and I was beside Damien.

 

“I actually bought your CD today, Clay. You’re a great talent.” So polite. Aye Caramba!

 

“Thank you.” Clay wasn’t too impressed.

 

“Rory, Francine told me that you play drums. That’s great.”

 

“Yeah, I do. I just finished the nationwide tour for Clay and Kelly, and I’m touring for Clay this summer.”

 

“That’s great. So was the tour like a duet thing? A romantic couple on tour?”

 

“Well, actually…” Clay started. But Kelly interrupted.

 

“We’re just friends, not dating. On the tour we co-headlined, but as for duets, we only did one.” She said, staring at his chiselled features and stunning eyes. Our lunches came and our lunch conversations began to dwindle. We talked about the tour; Damien described his job on Wall Street.

 

“Forgive me when I say I wish I knew who you are. Working in the Big Apple doesn’t leave much time for television or even eating.” He joked, he looked back at me. “Rory, I was hoping we could do something alone later. I have a couple things to do this afternoon, but I have the entire evening free. Would you like to do something?”

 

“Rory and I have a rehearsal tonight, right?” Clay said, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Right.”

 

“I’m free!” Kelly said, raising her hand. “You and I should do something?” Kelly continued to say.

 

“Yeah.” Damien paused and smiled. “We should.”

 

“Rory, you have something to say to Damien, right?” Clay said.

 

“Right… Damien… your grandmother wasn’t entirely sure that I was single, because in fact, I’m not. Clay and I…”

 

“Are dating?”

 

“Engaged.” Clay said, smiling.

 

“Really?” He said, looking at me smiling. I nodded. “Well, good. That gives me an easier opportunity to ask Kelly out.”

 

Kelly smiled. Damien smiled. Clay and I laughed.

 

“Well, why don’t you two stay here and get to know each other, and Clay and I will leave you two alone?” I suggested. They each waved a hand and with that we left. Jerome stayed while we drove straight home.

 

“You know, you should play matchmaker more often.” He said. I reached around my neck and took my ring off my necklace and back onto my finger, where it belongs.

 

“That was just lucky. That happened so out of the blue.”

 

“So, we have a few hours to kill… what do you want to do?” He asked.

 

“I just want to relax for a bit. Let’s just go home and take a nap?” I suggested.

 

“Ha ha ha… nap… that’s code for something, right?” He flirted. His hand fell onto my lap and rubbed my thigh.

 

“Until I get to a doctor and get more pills, there’ll be none of that without a condom.”

 

He pulled his hand away and pouted as he took the wheel again. We were silent for a few moments, looking back and forth at each other.

 

“Do you want to stop and get condoms?” He asked.

 

“Uhh… yeah.” I said. I reached into the backseat and found my Britney disguise. Blonde wig and a baseball cap. We went to a pharmacy and I got us some condoms. I perused the magazine rack for some odd reason, and I saw my face. A tabloid had taken our photo at the DC event. I was wearing the pink dress. It was official.

 

CLAY AIKEN ENGAGED!

 

You bet he was! I didn’t bother buying it; I just smiled and went on my way. I went back to the car and we headed back home.

 

“Do you really think you need a disguise?”

 

“I just saw my face on a tabloid. Yeah, I do.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yep. It turns out, we’re engaged! I didn’t even know that!” I said sarcastically.

 

“I’m so sorry Rory… I really didn’t want this to happen to you.”

 

“Clay, it’s okay.”

 

“But Lor… I know that this is one of the reasons why you left Chuck and…”

 

“Clay,” I stopped him. “Never bring up Chuck ever again. Ever. You got that?” He nodded. “I hated this part of being with him, yes, that is true. But do you know why I am going through with it now?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Because this time, I actually love the man I’m on the cover with.”

 

“Rory, I’m telling you right now, it’s going to get worse.” He said.

 

“And I don’t care. This time around, I am completely in love. And no tabloid is going to scare me away from that.”

 

 

Chapter Fifty Five – The Refrigerator

 

 

“You have no idea how wonderful it is for me to hear you say that.” He said.

 

“Well, I mean, it’s only a paper.” I shrugged my shoulders. He took my hand and turned to face me. We were still in the parking lot of the drug store.

 

“It’s not just a paper. It’s Internet rumours, the fans; they can get sort of creepy.”

 

“I know, and I think I can handle that, Clay. Not only do I trust you, but in a very odd way, I trust them. They are the greatest reassurance out there. I know I’m doing something right when they comment about the shows on the internet, and they do say the whole band sounds great. Sure, they make funny and humorous names for you and… uhh… body parts...” he blushed. “But they love you, and I love you too. I know how they feel.”

 

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

 

“I do know that. And you bring it out of me.”

 

He started to drive back home. When we walked inside, we walked hand in hand up the stairs. I was really tired, no lie. I really did want a nap. I stripped to my underwear and crawled into bed and almost immediately fell asleep. I felt Clay nudging me as he got into bed, but it didn’t last long. He fell asleep too.

 

I woke up and it was already night. I took Raleigh into the backyard; I was wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of Clay’s boxers. She really was a cute dog. I couldn’t deny that. I brought her back inside and she wandered off to do her own thing. I found my way to the refrigerator and opened it up. Nothing I could find. Boy, this guy has a lot of Hot Pockets. I guess since he says what he eats on TV; they send him cases of it. I was getting frustrated with the lack of food around. Suddenly, I was getting pushed aside and the door was being closed. Clay pushed me up against the cold steel door of the tall fridge.

 

“For the love of all things holy, that is cold!” I yelled. He was pressing himself into me.

 

“It’ll warm up in a second.” He said, seeking my mouth for a kiss. His lips covered mine tentatively, being as gentle as he could. I wrapped my arms around him and deepened his tentative kiss. “You fell asleep so fast, we never got too…” He then began kissing my neck.

 

“For some reason I was just so exhausted.” He kissed my shoulder and licked a line up my neck. “But I’m waking up.”

 

“Mmm… good.”

 

“Clayton?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“This is still freezing. Can you let me go now?” He looked up and pouted. “You can warm me up anywhere you want though. And I mean, everywhere.”

 

He let me down from in between himself and the fridge. He led me over to the table and sat me on top of it. He gripped the seam of the shirt I was wearing and lifted it off of me. He then raced to take the remaining layers of clothing off. I pushed his boxers down and he stood in front of me, his eyes glowing.

 

“Lorelai…” He pushed the hair from my face. “Only you. I can’t imagine my life without you. And only you.”

 

“There’s nothing else for me. I have you. My life is complete.” He smiled as he kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He leaned me back on the table and I reached down and guided his stiff cock inside of me. We rocked back and forth together, kissing and nibbling at each other. Then he climbed on top of the table and began thrusting deeper into me.

 

“Rory… you feel so good…” He said, between breaths.

 

“I’m close… I love you so much, Clay.”

 

“Come for me, darlin’. Let me feel you.” He began thrusting faster. He pushed me over the edge and I let myself go limp as I rode the waves. He came riding his own wave, collapsing on top of me.

 

~~

 

I don’t remember how we ended up getting to the couch, but I woke up in Clay’s arms, snuggled together on the couch. Not that I was complaining, but I just was confused on how we got from the fridge to the table to the floor to the couch. I got up, trying hard not to wake him. He shouldn’t have to be awake this early on a Monday morning. I found my way up the stairs and had a shower. I got dressed in the laziest and loose fitting jeans and a CCR T-Shirt. I went back downstairs and searched around again for something to eat. After not finding anything for a second time, I turned around and headed back upstairs. I passed by our bed and what laid all around it. I looked down and saw the bag from the drug store, un-opened. Inside was the condom box. Unused. 3 times.

 

I could have gone into a state of panic, but I was fine with it. I went back down to see if Clay was awake. He was stirring, so I sat next to him and watched him.

 

If I were pregnant, which there was a large possibility of, I wouldn’t be upset. I’d embrace it. I leaned in and gently kissed his lips and his cheek. He started to wake up again.

 

“Morning, sweetie.” I said, running my hand over his tossed hair.

 

“Good morning. Wow… I can get used to waking up like this. For the rest of my life.” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You’re dressed?”

 

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you. I’m being interviewed for a drummer’s magazine today. Photos shoot with my drum set, the whole works.” I said.

 

“Are you going to wear the ring?” He asked.

 

“Well, I’ll have it on for the shots I’m not playing. But if they do ask me to play, then I’ll have to tape them up. They’re doing a thing where the drummers show their rituals on tour, and so on.”

 

“Oh. Okay, well, put it on your necklace, okay?”

 

“I always do.” I kissed him. “Besides, I’m gonna tape in large letters I’M A CLAYMATE on the bass drum. Then they’ll know you’re mine.” He kissed me again.

 

“Well, good.” He settled back into the couch and closed his eyes.

 

“Clay?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“We did things last night that we really shouldn’t have.” I said.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“We made love. Three times.”

 

“Your point being?”

 

“Without the condoms.”

 

His eyes burst open. He sat back up and looked vulnerable.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“That’s not good Clay. We got those so we could be safe. But we weren’t.”

 

He laughed uncomfortably. “Three times!”

 

“I know.”

 

“Oh no…” He took my hand. “If… you’re… is it? Can you be?”

 

“Three times, Clayton. I’m sure your swimmers were going hog wild in there.”

 

“Is this the time for jokes, Lorelai?” He was pissed off now.

 

“I’m not upset about it Clayton. If I am pregnant, then that’s what it is. There’s nothing I can do about it. Clay, I’m sure that if I am, then we’ll be okay. I love you; I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life.

 

He smiled slightly. “You don’t think the timing is wrong?”

 

“God has a plan, Clayton. You say that everyday, and it’s true. He does. Maybe this is our sign to get married.”

 

 

Chapter Fifty Six – The Interview

 

 

I took a bag full of clothes with me to the photo shoot. My drum kit was already set up in their studio. I saw a large leather couch. I was going to have fun with this. We were going to do the interview first, and the photo shoot second. They had asked me long before if I were willing to pose with just a bra and panties on. I’m never one to expose myself like that, but I was just a little more willing. I agreed. I was in shape, drumming kept me that way. I was a little subconscious about my hair, so I asked the hair person to dye it. She dyed it a dark blonde. I had never been any kind of blonde before. It was exciting!

 

Hilda, the journalist for Modern Drummer came in and sat down next to me on the red leather couch.

 

“Let’s get started!” She pulled out a small voice recorder and hit record. “Rory, how did you get started with drumming?”

 

“I started when I was in high school. I actually saw a poster for a choir audition, and I went to that, but then I saw the drum set in the corner of the room and I was addicted from that moment on. I started taking lessons a week later.”

 

“Were your parents supportive of this move into drumming?”

 

“I lived in a group home for most of my life. My father was, and still is in prison for killing my mother. I wrote to him all the time and I told him about the drumming, and it was only until recently that he told me he was proud of me about the drumming.”

 

“Let’s talk about your connection to American Idol judge Randy Jackson. He found you where?”

 

“I was hanging out with the band down Conspiracy at the time. I had gotten behind the drums one night for a song, and Randy heard me. We were all sitting back stage and he came back and said that he liked what he heard from me and would keep me in mind for a few projects.”

 

“Randy Jackson is a well known figure in the music industry. Bassist for Journey, the Judge on American Idol. Were you at all intimidated?”

 

“Not for Randy. Randy, the minute you meet him, it’s just a lot of fun. He’ll get behind the drums and do something crazy and then teach you how to do it. He’s not intimidating at all. He’s a great guy to know. He’ll always be there for you.”

 

“So let’s go back to last December. You’re sitting in Denver, and Randy calls you and says… what?”

 

“Randy called one day and said, ‘I have this thing for you, Rory. It’s a tour for a couple of great, talented singers. Would you do it?’”

 

“He didn’t tell you for whom?”

 

“Not at this point. I was still dating Chuck LaBelle at the time. I would have said no. I told him maybe and to call me when things were getting settled.”

 

“In that time, you were dating Chuck?”

 

“After Randy called, Chuck had a gig in Vegas; he wanted us to get married. I said no because I knew he wasn’t really in love. I went back to Denver, called up Randy and asked him how that tour was coming along. He asked me again. And this time he said for whom. ‘Will you drum for the Kelly Clarkson/Clay Aiken tour?’ And I said yes, right away. I knew that it would be a far better opportunity than what Chuck could have ever offered me. So I took it.”

 

“You had never done a professional tour, right?”

 

“Right, I was nervous and excited all at the same time. It really opened up a lot for me.”

 

“Now we can finally talk about Clay and Kelly and the rest of the tour. What kinds of songs were being played?”

 

“It was a very wide range of pop-rock to more motown-ish songs with Kelly. And Clay was all over the map with his songs, pop, rock, Prince, James Taylor, Sting… You name it, we did it.”

 

“Was the band dynamic strong?”

 

“Very strong. We had amazing talent on that stage. It was an all around fun show. To watch too. I had gotten sick in Columbus and Chuck actually came in and filled in, and I sat in the audience and watched the show. There was such a strong connection to the entire building.”

 

“Now on to your relationship with Clay. Where did that begin?”

 

“First day of rehearsals. I showed up early to make sure my kit was set up properly by the techs,  which is wasn’t, so I was warming up and he was there listening to me. I was kind of nervous, because you hear horror stories of the ‘Idols’ being very… self absorbed, but they aren’t like that at all. Clay was very sweet and he asked me out after the very first rehearsal. It didn’t exactly work out at first, because it was too soon for me. I was just out of the relationship with Chuck, so I didn’t want to rush into it. But after 6 weeks of being friends, we … well, he thought it would be time to start going out again.”

 

“Did the life on the road catch up to you?”

 

“You know what; I only got sick of it once. The bus I was on was nice, I was sharing with Clay and Kelly, and so it got fun. The performing was a definite good thing. It kept me in balance with what I do and what goes on around the tour.”

 

“Were there any rough patches in the relationship with Clay?”

 

“All relationships have rough patches. If I got upset with him and didn’t feel like talking to him, I would stay behind the drums and just mind my own business. Save the personal life for when I’m not working. I stayed focused. The first time it really got in the way of the tour was when I got sick. Clay and I fought over if I should have been playing or not. He won the battle, but only because I couldn’t move.”

 

“Now that the large tour is over, are there vacation plans? Wedding plans?”

 

“We’ve got another tour coming up this summer. The dates just seem to be rolling in. Then we’re definitely going to try for a vacation after that, before Christmas. From then on in, it’s non-stop.”

 

“Does the fact that he doesn’t know where his career will end up scare either of you?”

 

“Nope. It’s exhilarating. I feel like there will be a sign when it’s time to slow down. And it’s not here yet. He’s going to be successful at anything he does. I’ll be there for the ride with him.”

 

“Is it true that the Lars Ulrich style drum set is a gift from Clay?”

 

“The set was a birthday gift from everyone on tour, including his mother. I was floored when he showed me. I’ve dreamt of a set like this since I was a kid.”

 

“Okay, Rory, time for your photo shoot! We can continue the interview afterwards.”

 

 

Chapter Fifty Seven – The Results

 

 

The first pictures done were of me at the drum set, taping my fingers. I had put my ring on the necklace and it dangled with ease around my neck. I played as they took pictures. The next pictures I was going to be wearing a red t-shirt that said “ClayMate” and torn jeans. I loved that picture. The last set was of me in the black and red bra and my white shorts from the tour. Apparently, according to Hilda, I was voted the Sexiest Drummer. I wonder who I won over … Lars Ulrich from Metallica? Tyler Stewart from the Barenaked Ladies? Ringo Starr? I’m glad the readers of Modern Drummer have EYES!

 

I let all my inhibitions go and posed on the couch, holding my drumsticks and being sexy. The shoot and interview were done by dinner time. I packed up my gear and dropped it off at the rehearsal space. By the time I had gotten home, I had remembered the drama of the morning. I could be pregnant. I walked through the front door, and Clay was waiting for me in the kitchen.

 

“How did it go?”

 

“Great.”

 

“Nice hair!” He was excited about the hair.

 

“Thanks, honey.” I kissed his cheek. “I have a feeling that you’re going to like these pictures.” I said.

 

“Oh really?” He reached around my neck and began taking my necklace off. “What did they make you do? Wear a ClayMate T-Shirt?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Did they make you kiss a picture of me?”

 

“Nope.”

 

He took the ring off the chain and put it on my finger. “Did you pose half naked?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Then you’re right. I will like it.” He smiled like a child on their birthday.

 

“You’re not mad that I did that?”

 

“Nope. I couldn’t stop you. Deep down, I just couldn’t do that. I love to see you.”                        He pulled me onto his lap and started to kiss my neck.

 

“I had a feeling you may be mad.”

 

“No. Not at all. You’re a big girl. You know what you’re doing.” He continued to kiss me. “I called Kim and got the number of her doctor. She can see you next week.”

 

“Oh, thanks.” I said.

 

“So here’s what I am thinking…” He started.

 

“That must hurt.”

 

“Zip it!” He smiled against my cheek. “If you are pregnant, we get married in June, before the tour, and we can go on a honeymoon after the tour, before the Christmas album comes out. If you’re not pregnant, we get married in January, after the album after the tour and we’ll have time to honeymoon and plan from there.” I could feel him bracing for an impact.

 

“That sounds great, Clay. I can’t wait.”

 

“It’s not… wait a second, did you say it sounded great? Did you agree with me?” He sounded surprised.

 

“Yeah, I did. It’s perfect, Clay. I love it.”

 

“Rory… you and I, we’re going to have a great life together. I’m going to love you for every moment of my life. I want everything for you.”

 

“I have everything I need Clay. You love me. That’s all I’ll ever need.”

 

“I love you Lorelai.”

 

“I love you too, Clayton.”

 

~~

 

We discussed it all the way through. We decided on June 13^th if I was pregnant and January 8^th if I wasn’t. It was going to be held in Raleigh no matter what. Clay had his connections and could book a church anywhere in North Carolina at any moment. I called Kyle and he helped with designing the invitations. Kim helped me pick a casual but elegant dress. I wasn’t thrilled with wearing a dress, but every time Clay thought of me in a dress, he would light up. I knew he was looking forward to this. I was beginning to think that we should get married sooner, rather than later even if I’m not pregnant. This scare has been a huge wake up call. I’m ready. I know I am.

 

~~

 

Kelly came with me to the doctors on Thursday May 27^th. I didn’t go to New York with Clay. He would be coming home that night. I sat in the waiting room. Kelly was flipping through a magazine.

 

“Oh look! I’m in here!” She said, pointing out a small article about herself. She put down that magazine and picked up another one. She skimmed through the pages and laughed. “Look! There I am again!”

 

“You’re an A-Lister.” I said, expressionless.

 

“Rory, I know you’re nervous. It’ll be okay. No matter what happens, Clay will be there for you. And so will I!”

 

I smiled and I hugged her. The nurse came in and told me it was time. I stood up and walked to the exam room. They drew blood. I waited 15 minutes for the tests. I read a magazine while I waited. Look, there’s Kelly. I turned the page and there I was, arm in arm with Clay in London. The headline said “Could She Be the One?” Look, there I was.

 

The doctor came in and sat down in a chair, looking at the file. She had no emotion on her face.

 

“So, you came to see if you were pregnant.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re definitely not pregnant.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I did find something else though.”

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty Eight – The Oddity

 

 

 

“What did you find?”

 

“I found that you are probably the healthiest drummer I have ever met. Most drummers do not eat right, because they think the drumming in itself is a work out, but you are extremely healthy, no sign of dehydrations. And you have a rare blood type.”

 

Fewf.

 

“Rare? How rare?”

 

“You’re Double O Negative.”

 

“I have no idea what that means.”

 

“Well, my suggestion to you is next time a local hospital is having a blood drive, go and donate.” She handed me a prescription for birth control pills and told me to start them after my next period. I walked back into the waiting room and Kelly stood up quickly.

 

“So?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you happy? Sad?”

 

“Neither. I don’t know what to feel.”

 

“What did she say? How could you not get pregnant? I mean, three times!”

 

“I wasn’t ovulating. I guess it wasn’t the right time.”

 

“Well, let’s get you home to Clay.”

 

She drove me home and we went inside and talked. I still couldn’t believe I wasn’t pregnant. I mean, three times! I don’t know whether to be lucky or sad. Clay called when he landed at the airport.

 

“Hey… how did it go today?” He asked.

 

“I found out I have a rare blood type!”

 

“Lorelai…”

 

“I’m not pregnant.” I said.

 

Clay was silent on the other end. I didn’t know if he was happy or sad. I don’t know if he knew what to be either.

 

“Clay? Say something.”

 

“We’ll talk when I get home, okay?”

 

“Kay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

“Love you, baby.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

And then he hung up. Kelly left and I went and changed. I went into the kitchen and tried to occupy myself until Clay got home. I sat on the couch until he got home. He walked straight to me. The minute he looked into my eyes, I broke down. I knew what I wanted. And I didn’t have it.

 

“Shh…” He soothed me. “Its okay, Rory.”

 

“I wanted a baby now more than I even knew. Deep down, I really wanted a baby.”

 

“Are you okay? Are you healthy?”

 

“She said that I was … she said it just wasn’t the right time to get pregnant.” He held me tighter. He sat me down on the couch and held me against him.

 

“I wanted a baby too.” He whispered.

 

“So… January it is then, right?” I said.

 

“Right.” There was a long and awkward pause. “We could still get married in June.” He said.

 

“Yeah, we could.”

 

“So…June?”

 

“Yeah. June.”

 

He tilted my chin to look at me. He brushed the tears away and kissed my forehead. Then he gingerly kissed my lips. “We’re getting married. In a little more than 2 weeks.”

 

“We are.”

 

“You call Kyle and I’ll call Mom. They have some planning to do.”

 

I got up and he did too, walking in separate directions. I was looking for my phone. But I turned around. Clay turned around too. I ran towards him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. He kissed me again.

 

“We’re getting married!”

 

 

Chapter Fifty Nine – The Stripper

 

 

2 weeks, was not a long time. But I had a lot already done. The dress was taken care of, the church in Raleigh was taken care of, and the invitations were going out. It was going to be small; it was going to be just a few friends and family with a small reception afterwards. Clay’s mom was handling the food, which left one last thing.

 

What in the heck were we going to do for music??

 

The day was June 10^th. A Thursday. We were leaving the next day for Raleigh. We had it settled by the time we were leaving. Clay called a DJ in Raleigh to provide the music, but under one condition. That condition was that there couldn’t be any songs by down Conspiracy.

 

On the plane with us was Raleigh (of course), Kelly and her new boyfriend Damien, Kim, Ruben, the rest of the band and our friends from the tour. Kyle was already in Raleigh, helping Faye set up at the church and at the reception hall. Clay and I sat together, but in just hours, we would be bombarded with things to do, we would barely see each other. I would be swept off to give the DJ a play list and who knows what Clay was doing. Saturday, he was having a Bachelor party, and I was having a small Bachelorette party. Then I couldn’t see him until noon on Sunday. Thoughts of the wedding flew through my mind as we flew to Raleigh.

 

“Earth to Rory.” He waved his hand in front of my face.

 

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I spaced out.” I said.

 

“Yeah. I asked you if you were okay. You look pale.”  He said.

 

“You mean paler than I usually look?” I joked. “I’m fine, Clay. I am a bit nervous, but nothing serious.”

 

“You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

 

“Nope, are you?”

 

“Never.” He kissed my temple lightly. He pulled me closer to him and I laid in his arms with him.

 

“So what’s going to be going on at this Bachelor party?” I asked.

 

“I plead the fifth.”

 

“Seriously, did you get a stripper?”

 

“NO!”

 

“Why not? I’m getting a stripper! Maybe even two!” I joked.

 

“You better not be!” He said. “No, we’re just getting together to celebrate.”

 

“With a big breasted woman, right?”

 

“You won’t be there.” He said, smiling.

 

“Clayton…”

 

“Why are you so hung up on me getting a stripper?” He asked.

 

“Because, all men get strippers for their big send off into Wedded Bliss. I want you to have one!”

 

“I’m not getting one!”

 

I sighed. “Fine. Don’t. Just sit around and talk. Without the aid of pair of giant knockers in your face.”

 

He was silent for a few minutes. “Are you really getting a stripper?”

 

“I will since you’re not.”

 

“Rory…”

 

“I’m serious, Clay.”

 

“I’m not getting a stripper!!!” He yelled. Then every man that was invited to his party that was in earshot whined, because they heard his revelation.

 

“Okay! That’s your choice. But don’t blame me if you don’t get to see one extremely sexy woman tonight.”

 

“I’m sitting with one already.” He kissed my neck, nibbling gently.

 

“Good answer!”

 

~~

 

Saturday brought a frenzy of events. Well I was right. Faye and Kyle were a force to be reckoned with when it came to planning a wedding. The church looked amazing. Nothing too frilly, but still nice for the occasion. I then had to go to the DJ’s to settle things, and I wasn’t sure when Clay and I would be back together again that evening. I pulled Clay aside and we sat together on the front steps of the tiny church.

 

“This is happening. Tomorrow afternoon, we’ll be husband and wife.” He said.

 

“And we won’t get to see much of each other until then.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Lorelai.”

 

“I know. All the separation these two days will definitely be worth it.” I said. “Shit!”

 

“What?”

 

“We didn’t pick a wedding song! For our first dance.”

 

“Dance?” He swallowed hard.

 

“I know, I’m as thrilled about it as you are, but we have to have one! Kyle will go nuts if we don’t stick to tradition!”

 

“Okay, well, let’s think of one right now.” We put on our proverbial thinking caps and went through our song choices. “I got one, but I want to keep it a secret.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just for a surprise.”

 

“What if we get Kelly to sing?” I asked.

 

“Which song?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ll ask her tonight. At the party.”

 

“Are you seriously getting a stripper?” He looked at me with a smirk.

 

“I’ve been told that I will have the sexiest man in North Carolina, but until I marry him, I get some other dude for an hour.”

 

He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. “Good answer.”

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty – The Letter

 

 

I had talked to Kelly about her singing a song for the reception. She said she would be honoured to do it. I wanted her to sing Thankful, because it meant a lot to me. I was thankful that I had Clay in my life. I woke up Sunday morning feeling calm and rested. I was completely alone. I got up out of bed and sauntered around the room. In the closet was my dress. A white version of the pink strapless dress I wore in CD, but longer and had more to it. The shoes were 3 inch heels, and I would hold a single flower walking down the aisle with my best friend in the whole world. Kyle. I stared at the dress, looking it over. So many thoughts entered my head. Fear, love, depression, happiness; but not one was whether I was doing the right thing. I knew I was. There was no doubt about that. I went into the bathroom and had a shower. It was just 3 hours till the wedding. After I got out, I called in Drea, who had Jenny with her. She was my maid of honour.

 

“So I got a chance to talk to Clay after his bachelor party.” She said.

 

“Did he like the stripper I sent for him?” I asked.

 

“He knew you would do that. He is amazing, Rory. He just lit up when he saw me.”

 

“He knows how much you mean to me, and he cares.”

 

“He is perfect for you, Rory.”

 

“I know.”

 

~~

 

I was in my dress, almost ready to leave. There was a knock at the door.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“It’s your husband to be!”

 

“Clayton, you can’t be here!” I said, running to the door anyway. I looked through the peep-hole and saw him in his suit. He looked snazzy.

 

“I just needed to talk to you. I missed you last night.”

 

“Well, that’s why I sent you a girl to keep you company.” I was leaning against the door now, trying to get closed.

 

“You didn’t have to do that, you know! I love you, Rory.”

 

“I love you too… now go! I have to leave soon and I can’t if you’re still here.”

 

“Alright. Hey, did you talk to Kelly about singing?”

 

“She’s singing Thankful after the cake.”

 

“Great. I’ll see you soon, honey.” He walked away from the door slowly and I watched him. This day was finally here.

 

~~

 

“Do you, Lorelai Leigh McCabe, take Clayton Holmes Aiken to be your husband?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Do you Clayton Holmes Aiken; take Lorelai Leigh McCabe to be your wife?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Clayton, you may read the letter from Lorelai’s father now.”

 

What? What was this? Daddy wrote a letter? He pulled a letter from his jacket pocket. He cleared his throat and unfolded the paper.

 

“To my daughter on the most important day of her life. For the last ten years, I’ve been cut off from all the important milestones in your life. Graduation, your first apartment, your first job, and so on. I was cut off from you, and I could never tell you how much I love you and miss you. Today being an important day, I feel blessed to be there with you in this letter. I feel blessed to be able to relay my pride for you. I feel blessed to know you’re going to be safe in the arms of Clayton. I love you, and I miss you. And I wish a happy future for you both. Love always, Ron McCabe, the Father of the Bride.”

 

“May I have the rings?”

 

~~

 

We walked back down the aisle together, hand in hand.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the letter?” I asked.

 

“I had to keep something a surprise.” He said.

 

“When did you get that? When did you see him?”

 

“On the way home from Dover.” He said. He leaned in and kissed me, recreating our wedding kiss. “I love you, Mrs. Aiken.”

 

“I love you too.” I paused. “Can I change into my other shoes yet?”

 

“They’re in the limo.” He said, kissing my nose. “Let’s go, darlin’, a celebration awaits us.”

 

“So how long till we have to leave to go for rehearsals?” I asked.

 

“We have to be there on the 18^th. The stage will be done and the band is ready. So we have 5 days to live in our hotel room.”

 

“My, my, what will we do?”

 

“Play Solitaire?”

 

“Naked Solitaire?”

 

“Uh.. yeah!” He said.

 

 

Chapter Sixty One – The Infamous Picture

 

 

“Presenting, Mr and Mrs Clayton Aiken!” Ruben had captured the microphone and introduced us. We walked into the hall and the people applauded. We walked straight passed a server with champagne and I grabbed a glass and slowly started to sip it. I put it down and Clay took my hand for the first dance, but he took the microphone first.

 

“Thank you everyone for coming on, umm, such short notice. Rory and I love you all. This first song is a song that I heard Rory play and I immediately fell in love with her. It’s not our wedding song, per se, but important to the occasion.”

 

I knew right away what he was talking about. The beats came through the speakers and proved me wrong.

 

It was Thunder Struck. They only played the first few bars, but that was fine. Another song came on that I knew was our song. Then Kelly took the microphone. She sang Thankful early.

 

I danced in Clay’s arms for the first time, as husband and wife, and ever. We weren’t a ‘dancing’ couple. Clay was smiling.

 

“Everyone is staring.” He whispered.

 

“They’re supposed to. It’s our wedding.”

 

“I know. But it’s strange.”

 

“I know. But the good kind of strange.” I said. He smiled and kissed me. We danced to Kelly’s soul-filled voice. Then everyone joined in after Kelly sang. It was just going to be a short reception, and then Clay and I were off to the hotel.

 

~~

 

Clay and I decided to leave a few days early to go to Florida and spend just a few days alone there, and then get ready for the show in Pensacola. It was our quasi-honeymoon. Clay had been talking with Dale, our guitarist and he handed him a small envelope. Clay opened it and looked at the photo inside. I couldn’t see what was on it. He just shook his head and put it in his pocket. He shook Dale’s hand and came back over to me.

 

“Hey honey.” He kissed my forehead.

 

“What was that all about?”

 

“We don’t need to worry about it right now, honey.”

 

“I understand that, but what is it?”

 

“It’s nothing, really.”

 

“Are you sure? If it’s nothing, then why would we worry about it later instead of right now?”

 

His brows furrowed and then he sighed. “What have I told you about thinking? It just gets us both confused.” He paused and took my hand. “A picture was leaked onto the internet.”

 

“Of?”

 

“Of me… and Meghzan.”

 

“The AI make-up girl?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So?”

 

“I’m touching her…” he made a hand motion. “Breasts.”

 

“Oh that picture!” I started laughing.

 

“You know about it?”

 

“Know? Honey, I was there, remember? It was when you and Kell were on Seacrest.”

 

“You were there. But we weren’t together and ….”

 

“Yeah, I know!” I laughed harder. “That’s what makes it funny!”

 

“You’re not mad?”

 

“No. You’re a boob man. I know your fixation on breasts.”

 

“Honey, it’s gonna upset the fans.”

 

“It might. It’ll upset the ones that don’t have a firm hold on reality, but the real fans will know. You’re a man. You love boobs.”

 

“Rory…”

 

“I’m sorry. Trust them Clay.”

 

He nodded and hugged me tight. “Come on, darlin’. Let’s get out of here.” He said. He announced to everyone that it was time for us to leave and we headed to the limo. He grasped my hand tightly and everyone followed us as we thanked them for coming. Clay opened the door to the limo and helped me inside. He followed in and the driver closed the door.

 

“Well, Mrs. Aiken, your all mine now.” He said. I wrapped my arms around him and began kissing him lightly.

 

“I love you.” I whispered. The limo was driving towards the hotel but taking scenic routes. Clay had a hand in this. His hands were rubbing my legs and moving upwards. “Clay…”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“We’re not consummating our marriage in a limo.”

 

“Why not?” He asked, kissing my neck.

 

“Because there’s something more for us if we wait for the hotel. It will be so much better.”

 

He stopped his kissing and looked at me with a smile. “You didn’t!”

 

“I didn’t. But Kelly and Damien left a beautiful jar of Cheese Whiz for us.”

 

“Okay,” he said, sitting on his hands. “I’ll wait.”

 

I shifted so I was sitting in his lap. “I still want you to touch me.”

 

“I can’t, darlin. If I do, I’m gonna take you right here.” I shifted my butt in his lap. “Rory…”

 

“I want you so bad.” I said into his ear.

 

“Lorelai Leigh…”

 

“Clayton….”

 

“You are so mean, Rory!”

 

“You love it!”

 

“I do.”

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty Two – The Wedding Night

 

 

 

I took my shoes off and ran to the hotel room. It was the honeymoon loft. The entire top floor was set aside for us. I put my hands on the doors as he stood behind me and opened the door. I pushed the doors open and gasped. It was magical. All of a sudden he swept me across the threshold and kicked the doors closed. He ran towards the bed and gently placed me down. He crawled over top of me and immediately started kissing me. My hands pushed the jacket from his shoulders, and started to loosen his tie.

 

“Rory…” He kissed me again. “That’s not working; you’re just making it tighter.” He said, doing it himself.

 

“Really? Maybe that’s what I was going for!”  I said, sarcastically. He kissed me again and I undid the buttons of his shirt. He pulled away from me momentarily as he slipped the tie off his neck and took off his shirt completely.

 

“Mmm… Rory… you’re overdressed.” He said. He sat me up and looked for the zipper. “How do you get into this thing?”

 

“My, you are too fresh!” I said, in my best Southern Belle Accent. I rose to my knees and took the hidden zippers at the sides and pulled them down. He took my hands and replaced them with his, pulling the zippers all the way down to their ending point. He pulled the dress down in one swoop. I knelt in front of him, and then crawled closer. He took me in his arms and kissed me again. I straddled his knees and rubbed against his pressing member. He held on to me, rubbing my back, kissing my shoulder.

 

“Rory…” He kissed my ear gently. “I love you so much.”

 

I reached down and played with the zipper on his pants. I slid my hand inside and touched him gently. I stood off him and pulled his pants off, and pushing my dress completely to the floor. He moved to the edge of the bed and pulled me back to him.

I crawled back on top of him and kissed him passionately. He flipped me onto my back and kissed me all over. “You’re so beautiful, Rory.”

 

He kissed each of my nipples gently, moving downward slowly. He dipped one finger into my slit, and let his thumb work on my swollen nub. He kissed the insides of my thighs before licking the lips where his fingers held place.

 

“Clayton… mmm…”

 

He groaned slightly into me and kept going. My hands tangled into his hair. He looked up at me and kissed his way back up. I laid there, breathless. He pushed me over the edge. I rode the waves. He laid next to me, kissing my neck. I crawled over onto him and did the same. I kissed down his chest and stopped at his hard shaft. I instantly took him in my mouth. I wanted to pleasure him like he had done to me. I licked and kissed every inch of him, feeling him inch closer and closer to release. His hips bucked and he let go, releasing his hotness into my mouth. I laid next to him as he re-gained his breath, and spooned against me tightly.

 

“I love married life.” He managed to get out. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too baby. I’m so happy.” I said, wrapping my arms around his.

 

“Well, if you think this is good, wait till we’re in our seventies, and I need Viagra to get an erection. That will be something to look forward to.” He said.

 

“I can’t wait until we have children, and we can watch them grow and learn.”

 

“I can’t wait till we have family dinners and with all the kids, you and I sitting across from each other, smiling away, while the little ones throw broccoli at the dog and make mashed potato snowballs and hurl them at each other.”

 

“Well, since you are the only one looking forward to that, you can clean that up!” I said, laughing.

 

“I can’t wait for everything, Lorelai. This tour with the two of us on the bus. Cherie is getting her own.”

 

“Ah… the French Canadian bird.”

 

“Rory…”

 

“You just make sure that little miss Frenchie knows you’re married.”

 

“I know you have a grudge against the French because of…” He trailed off. He knew I didn’t want to hear that name. “But please, be nice to her.”

 

“I can’t try. I’ll try to try.”

 

He kissed my neck, “That’s all I ask for.”

 

~~

 

I got up after the Clay fell asleep. I went to the window and stared. There was a large crowd gathering in the parking lot. They were holding signs with streamers and sparklies. The majority reading “CONGRATS CLAY & RORY!” I waved even though they couldn’t see me. I then closed the curtains and went back to bed. Clay was sound asleep and curled up under the covers. He looked so happy.

 

I continued to walk around and I decided to get dressed and go for a walk in the lobby. I was certain I could find either Kyle or Drea to talk to. My husband was passed out from excessive sex. I threw on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. I found my key and left without a peep. I looked around the hall way to make sure everything was clear. Even if it wasn’t I put my hood on anyway, just to be safe. In the lobby was Kyle, sitting with Drea. I knew they would be up. Jet lag, probably.

 

“Rory? What are you doing down here? You should be with your husband.” Drea said, handing me her baby girl.

 

“I couldn’t sleep, but it’s obvious that Clay can. And anywhere, I might add.” I said, sitting on the chair.

 

“How are the first few hours of wedded bliss going?” Kyle asked.

 

“Wonderfully. It’s the same as before, just with a wedding band on our fingers.” I said. “We were close before, today just made us even closer.”

 

“Rory… we saw the picture. Of that girl and Clay…”

 

I started laughing. It was just too funny.

 

“You think it’s funny?” Kyle asked.

 

“Yeah, I was there.”

 

“But his hands were on her…”

 

“So?”

 

“You’re not jealous?”

 

“Why would I be? We weren’t together at the time. In fact, it was funny at the time, but funnier now. Both people in the picture are married.”

 

“She’s married?” Drea asked.

 

“Yup. And now, so is Clay. It all works out.” They still seemed sceptical. But that wasn’t their business, it was my business. And I knew there were no hard feelings. I had the soreness to prove it.

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty Three – The Cover

 

 

Three days later we were in Orlando Florida. We were all set up for a show in Pensacola and after, ready to head out on tour. The honeymoon would wait. I was sitting behind the drums placing my rings on the necklace and starting to tape up my knuckles and fingertips. Clay came on to the stage with a magazine in hand.

 

“My wife is a COVER GIRL!” He said, holding up the copy of Modern Drummer. He was right, there I was. Wearing my Aero smith T-shirt and jeans arms crossed and hair tossed. Engagement ring in plain sight. The headline “Drumming Goddess”.

 

“Wow. I got the cover.”

 

“Was there any doubt?” Dale cut in. He walked up beside Clay. “Everyone knows who you are, and your talent. And don’t get me wrong, Rory, you’re hot. That’s why. You deserve it.”

 

Clay looked at me and smiled. “I haven’t read the article yet. I wasn’t sure if you would want me to wait. Especially for those half naked poses.”

 

“You haven’t looked inside yet?” I asked.

 

“No. We can wait for that. Till later.”

 

I smiled. “Okay. After rehearsal, we’ll all sit down and read the article together.”  Everyone took their positions and we began the songs.

 

The rehearsal went speedier than expected. We all gathered on the edge of the stage and Clay and I sat together.

 

“Drum roll please!” Clay said.

 

“Can’t, I’m busy, reading about myself in a magazine!” I quipped. I turned to page 68. The cover page was one of me, black and red bra, and white shorts. Make up flawless and ring in sight.

 

Drumming Goddess by Hilda Symington

 

 

The readers of Modern Drummer agree that the Sexiest Drummer is this woman. Strong and ‘Independent’. Rory McCabe, a drummer from Denver, Colorado, was discovered playing drums in and around her suburban Colorado town by a very powerful musician. She went on to play for Idols of magnetic proportions; Kelly Clarkson and her beau Clay Aiken. She’s 23, smart, funny, and down to earth. That’s why she was voted MD’s Sexiest Drummer.

 

The story of Rory McCabe’s rise to success came with sacrifice and luck. We sat down with Rory, whose full name is Lorelai, at the photo shoot for the cover, which she didn’t know was happening. (Sorry Rory, we had to surprise you!) From American Idol Judge Randy Jackson to getting sick on the road, you name it, we talked about it! (She even showed us her engagement ring from fiancé Clay Aiken!)

 

“Drumming was something that I thought about as a kid, but never had the opportunity to do until high school. I started when I was in high school. I actually saw a poster for a choir audition, and I went to that, but then I saw the drum set in the corner of the room and I was addicted from that moment on. I started taking lessons a week later.”

 

Her life wasn’t the easiest to deal with as a child. Her mother and father fought, and eventually Rory was sent to a group home after her father, Ron, shot and killed her mother, Dianne. She moved in to the close quartered environment and found a love for music. “I lived in a group home for most of my life. My father was, and still is in prison for killing my mother. I wrote to him all the time and I told him about the drumming, and it was only until recently that he told me he was proud of me about the drumming.”

 

But she came out of the depressing time and to a successful run with local pop rock bands. Then, while hanging with her friends in pop-punk sensation down Conspiracy, Randy Jackson saw her and wanted her for a project. “I had gotten behind the drums one night for a song, and Randy heard me. We were all sitting back stage and he came back and said that he liked what he heard from me and would keep me in mind for a few projects.”

 

She hung out on tour with her boyfriend at the time, Chuck LaBelle. After the couple split in Vegas in December, she went back to Colorado and immediately called back Randy to see what exactly the project was about. “After Randy called, Chuck had a gig in Vegas; he wanted us to get married. I said no because I knew he wasn’t really in love. I went back to Denver, called up Randy and asked him how that tour was coming along. He asked me again. And this time he said for whom. ‘Will you drum for the Kelly Clarkson/Clay Aiken tour?’ And I said yes, right away. I knew that it would be a far better opportunity than what Chuck could have ever offered me. So I took it.”

 

Pre-conceived notions of the ‘Idol’s’ filled Rory with doubt, but saw a definite good thing about touring. She was afraid that Kelly Clarkson, the Texan country rock girl and Clay Aiken, smooth crooner with a tinge of edge (if you can find it), would be self obsessed. But she told us that it was not the case. She spoke very highly of all the Idols. She used to hang out with Canadian Idol Ryan Malcolm once too!

 

The tour went off without a hitch. She learned the long set lists for both Clay and Kelly for songs like “Invisible” and “Perfect Day” and Kelly songs such as “Low” and big band song “Stuff Like That There”. Only once did she need to stop and actually had Chuck fill in for her, and that is when she got sick. “I almost had to duct tape a box of tissues to my high hat!” She says, “Clay took care of me. I really hated missing the show, but I knew I wouldn’t be well enough. Clay knew, and told me to take the night off.” She goes on to say that Chuck filling in for her was not her idea, but Clay’s after he met Chuck at a radio interview that afternoon. “I had no idea Clay would do that. We were still in a position where we were dating but still getting to know each other.”

 

Nevertheless, Rory McCabe is a discovered talent. She was discovered by American Idol. She is a huge talent that we here at Modern Drummer embrace. She’s proven to make it higher than expected, succeed over tough battles and find a haven where she feels comfortable. On the Independent Tour, she played genres ranging from rock, pop and soul to Big Band and country. She has proven that her talent is one in a million. And we have the pictures to prove that she truly is a drumming Goddess…

 

Editors’ Note: We’re pleased to say that Rory and Clay got married. Just weeks after this interview, she and Clayton tied the knot in North Carolina. On a more serious note, her former beau, Chuck LaBelle is on trail in Canada for stalking Rory and Clay, including death threats.  We all hope that Clay and Rory feel safer with this weight off their shoulders.

 

“Wow.” Clay said.

 

“Yeah, that was a great article!” I said.

 

“I was talking about Chuck.” He said. The band slowly walked away and Clay stayed.

 

“Clay, I thought I said to never say that name ever again.”

 

“But this is serious, Rory.”

 

“It’s over, Clay. He’s gone. It’s done. There’s nothing left to discuss.”

 

“Rory…”

 

“Clay… just don’t. I’m in a place right now where I don’t want to be brought down. No one, not even that piece of ass scum will rain on my parade.” I got up and walked away. I was in such a happy mood; I just didn’t want to hear anything that could deprive me of that. I found my way back to the dressing room and gathered everything I would need.

 

He came in behind me and closed the door.

 

“Why are you upset?”

 

“I’m not upset, Clay. I’m getting ready to go to the beach for a few hours. I’m going to try and get some sun on this pasty white body of mine.”

 

“Why did you storm out then?”

 

“Because if I leave now, then I can get at least 3 hours of tan time.” I searched through my bag and found the black baseball cap. I threw is on my wavy brown hair and started to the door.

 

“Lorelai, get back here.” He said, sternly.

 

I turned around, pissed off to hell. “You know, that tone doesn’t sit well with me.”

 

“Why don’t you want to talk about this?”

 

“Because there is nothing to talk about!”

 

“I disagree. I think you need to talk about it. You have to show that you are scared.”

 

“Why should I be scared? He’s in jail.”

 

“You mean you’re not scared that the man you once loved not only stalked you, but sent out death threats?”

 

“One thing you should know about Chuck is that he is a coward. He will never do something more than once if it doesn’t work out the first time.” I turned towards the door again. He tried to follow me, but I didn’t let him. I hailed a cab and got right in.

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty Four – The Double Edge

 

 

I found a great beach to just sit and relax. I laid out my towel, applied all the necessary lotion and just laid back. I had just three hours to sit back and relax. Clay was trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. It was a done deal. Chuck was in jail, I was married, everything was happy. But I understand that he worries about me, but he does need to trust me.

 

After the sun was beginning to set, I headed back to the hotel. The cab dropped me off and I immediately saw Jerome.

 

“He sent you to get me, didn’t he?”

 

“That’s my job ma’am.” He said.

 

“Don’t you ever just feel like playing a prank on him?”

 

“All the time, ma’am.” He said, laughing.

 

“You know, I’ve only been married for 6 days, the ‘ma’am’ isn’t necessary.” I said. We headed to the elevators and went up to the room. We talked along the way, laughing and making plans to pull the best prank ever.

 

I went into the room alone, and Clay was sitting on the bed, cell phone pressed to his ear. I swear he should have that thing permanently attached to his hand or something. He locked his eyes on me while I set my bag down in the closet. He kept staring at me, like I was about to break.

 

“Yeah…” He said into the phone, but his eyes were asking me to sit down. I shook my head.

 

“No, I’m pretty sure it was the director who said that.” He said, pointing at the place next to him. I shook my head again.

 

“Okay, we can do whatever afterwards.” He said, he mouthed the words “SIT DOWN”. I shook my head no and took off my t-shirt. I was wearing my black and grey bikini.

 

“Hey Randy, I’m gonna have to call you back.” He said. “My wife is back.” He hung up the phone. I slipped my shorts down and kicked them into the air. He caught them and smiled. “Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

“How was the beach?” He asked, still holding the shorts as he caught them.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yep. Are you?”

 

“I think we still need to talk.” He paused. I unclasped the bikini top. “Not right now, but eventually.” I took off the top and threw it at him. I walked over to him and he dropped the shorts and took me in his arms. I nearly ripped his shirt off and immediately went for the belt. He started kissing my neck and shoulders. I slid off him and took his pants off. I crawled back on to him and rubbed his penis.

 

“Lorelai…” He kept kissing me, “I love you so much.” And with that, I slid him into me. He grabbed my hips and guided me on top of him in and out.  He flipped me over and began thrusting faster. We were teetering on the edge of the bed, rocking back and forth. He still kissed and licked at my neck and shoulder, pushing me closer to off the edge. As we climaxed, we fell to the floor. We laughed, lying together.

 

“Rory…”

 

“I know we still have to talk.”

 

“We do.”

 

“It’s not that I don’t think it’s a serious situation, it’s just that I feel safer knowing that he’s gone.”

 

“I know darlin.” He said, running his hand over my cheek.

 

“And I know I should be handling it better, but you know what, he knows that I am better off now.”

 

“But what if they ask you to testify?”

 

Woah, I hadn’t thought about that.

 

“Then I will.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Of course. If it means he gets what’s coming to him, then yes.” I said. “Besides, he’s going to prison for sure for the drug stuff.”

 

“Can I ask you something?” He paused. “Were you involved with the drugs?”

 

“No. I didn’t even know he was doing it until after I met you.”

 

“The only reason I ask is because since you were with him, they may think you were involved.”

 

“Well, they’ll have to take my word for it. If not that, they’ll see that I’ve been actively involved in Anti Drug rallies before.”

 

“I love my wife. She thinks of everything.” He said, kissing me.

 

“I love my husband. He is so anal about things.”

 

“Hey…” He said, pinching me.

 

“Sorry. But now do you see that I don’t need to be depressed right now. I’m a newlywed, I’m in Florida, with my hubby, and I am the luckiest girl in the world.”

 

 

Chapter Sixty Five -- When Will They Ever Learn?

 

 

“I’m sorry I stormed out.” I said, as we climbed back up onto the bed.

 

“You needed to chill out. I understand. I wasn’t the smartest of husbands when it came to getting you to talk.” He said.

 

“It’s okay, honey.” I said, lying in his arms. “But talking is nice.”

 

“Wanna know what’s nice?” He said. “That bikini!”

 

“I bought it for you baby.”

 

“No, no, no, this is a world changing bikini. It’s for the greater good. The whole world benefits from this bikini.”

 

I laughed. He threw the bikini top to the floor and held me tight again. Then the cell phone rang. He sighed and got up and answered it. I went to the closet and found something to wear. Just as I finished, my cell phone rang.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Rory?”

 

“Hey Kelly, what’s up?”

 

“Rory… it’s about Damien.”

 

“What?”

 

“I think I’m falling in love with him.” She said.

 

“Woah… Kelly, are you sure?” I asked.

 

“We’ve only gone out a few times, and haven’t had sex or anything, but I’ve fallen for him.” She said.

 

“Wait, Kelly, I don’t get it. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”

 

“You tell me! I’ve had one friend tell me it’s a good thing, that I’m finally adjusting to dating in this business, and I had one friend tell me that it’s a bad thing, and that we shouldn’t try to maintain a relationship. You’re the deciding vote, Rory. Please?”

 

“You want my honest opinion?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I think you and Damien are great with each other. I have every reason to believe that you can keep a long distance thing for as long as you’d need to, and you’re very focused. You can keep things balanced.”

 

“So that’s a yes?” She asked tentatively.

 

“Yes.”

 

Then she yelled to someone in the room. “IT’S A YES! I’M IN LOVE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!” Then we said goodbye and hung up. I put the phone down and laughed. Clay was still on his phone. He had a smile on his face, but looked nervous. When he hung up he just laughed.

 

“Who was it?”

 

“My mother.”

 

“And?”

 

“I think you may get mad.”

 

“What?”

 

“What was a weird phone call, I’ll tell ya…” He said, rubbing his forehead.

 

“Not as weird as my conversation with Kelly, hit me.”

 

“Mom opened our wedding presents.” He said, laughing.

 

I burst into laughter. “Your mother opened our gifts?” I kept laughing.

 

“She went on to describe all the gifts. Apparently, a fan sent us a sex swing.”

 

It was a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything, because it would have been all over the room. I was now rolling on the floor, holding my stomach I was laughing so hard.

 

“I know!” He exclaimed.

 

“Your mother is a nut!”

 

“It could have been from Kyle…” He started.

 

“He’d keep it for himself.” I quipped. I got up off the floor and sat next to him on the bed.

 

“Didn’t need to know that!” He said.

 

“So, she just went crazy on the gifts?” I asked.

 

“Yep. Well, just the ones from the fans. The ones from the guests are being sent to the house in California.”

 

“Right on.” I said. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Clayton?”

 

“Yes Lorelai?”

 

“If I get pregnant, what would I do on tour? I can’t drum, so what exactly would I do?”

 

He looked down. “Are you?”

 

“Hypothetically.”

 

“I’d find something for you to do. How are you with a triangle?” He joked.

 

“I’m great.”

 

“Well, one thing I do know is that I would want you to be healthy and getting plenty of rest. My last resort would be to send you home to get rest. The road, as you well know, isn’t great for that.”

 

“Hypothetically, right?” I asked. He looked down at me and smiled.

 

“Of course.”

 

There was a long pause, where we just sat together and he took my hand in his.

 

“Lorelai?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Today is our 6 month anniversary.” He said. The instant he said that, I immediately had doubts. I never had them before now, but the minute he said that we had been together and already married in 6 months, I felt nauseous.  “Rory?”

 

“We did this too fast.”

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty Six – Mr. Strange & Mrs. Not-Normal          

 

 

“Rory, you don’t mean that.” He said.

 

“I do mean it. This all happened so fast. You told me you loved me, and it started. I wasn’t even sure I was ready for love, but… and now we’re married, celebrating our 6 months of being just a couple? That doesn’t sound odd to you?”

 

“The things I do for love, Rory.”

 

“So it doesn’t sound at all odd that we rushed into everything? You like the fact that we did what every marriage counsellor or therapist says is a definite wrong move?”

 

“Lorelai, you’re over-reacting.”

 

“No, I’m not. My eyes are opened. Everything we’ve done, everything from the minute we met, has been in high speed, fast forward. That doesn’t sound off to you?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “Nope.”

 

I stood up and walked around, “Are you crazy?”

 

“Yep.” He said, deadpan. The ‘P’ had a bit of a loveable pop to it.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m in love with you. I know that a lot of couples wait years to even discuss getting married. I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I knew right away that there was no more looking for me.”

 

“You may regret it down the road, Clayton.”

 

“I doubt it. Rory, yes, our relationship was quick paced, we were basically thrown to live together within weeks after meeting, our love blossomed at the same pace, without a lot of what people would call ‘normal’. I mean, our first date, in my view was the hockey game. And do you remember what happened at the hockey game?”

 

“The Devils won?”

 

“No. Well, yes, but, we sat there, in the RBC Centre, and people asked us millions of questions. They asked me for an explanation about the two of us, for an autograph, for anything that crossed their minds. Does that sound normal for a first date?”

 

“Does the fact that I didn’t even know it was our first date sound normal? Because it s sounds kind of iffy to me.”

 

He paused. “Good point. But honey, don’t you see? Our lives can never be normal. We’re not normal. As people, we’re very strange. We fell in love with each other, fate brought us together, God had a plan for us, and we let our own, non normal, fast paced lives take this love and embrace it, while embracing everything else that flew our way.”

 

“I knew there was a reason why I love you.” I said, sitting next to him again.

 

“Besides, we met a long time ago. Even before the first rehearsal.” He said, putting his arm around me.

 

“What?”

 

“Do you remember the AMA’s? I was there, down Conspiracy was there, and you my dear, you were there too.”

 

“I was.”

 

“I even said hello to you.” I looked up at him and my jaw dropped. “Ruben recognized the band, and he wanted me to find out who you were. So I went up to you, you were talking with someone, I think the girl from Evanescence, and said hello. You looked at me, waved and then Chuck whisked you off and left me hanging to find out who you were. I asked around and only one person knew who you were. The girl, Amy Lee, said that you were Chuck’s fiancée, and also played drums. So when the tour rolled around, I saw you in the rehearsal warehouse, fixing the drums, I recognized you right away. My intrigue from that night at the AMA’s never left. I had found you again. I found my mystery girl. I wasn’t going to let my mystery girl get away without a fight. I fell in love with my mystery girl,” He kissed me gently. “I married my mystery girl. And we’re going to eat and watch CSPAN for the rest of our lives.”

 

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “That’s right. I hated Chuck for taking me from that post-party. He wanted to go so we could find a bar. I wanted to talk to everyone. I remember waving. I remember that!”

 

“See Rory? Fate. It brought us together once, and then again, and you have never left me since.”

 

“Fate.” I said, leaning into him again.

 

“Fate.” He said.

 

“Are you done doubting us?” He asked. “Are you finished so I can make love to you again?”

 

“Yeah, I’m done.” I took my t-shirt off again and he pinned me back to the bed.

 

~~

 

What Clay didn’t know was that I was watching him all night at the AMA’s. I waited for him to come and talk to me. But timing was all wrong. The minute he walked up to me, Chuck saw and took me away. Chuck felt the threat, so he felt what was necessary. I left that night thinking of how I would have talked to him, how I would have introduced myself without mentioning my relationship with Chuck. It’s almost like it was love at first sight.

 

When Randy called me, and told me he wanted me to play drums for Kelly and Clay, I smiled. Clay. He needed me. He didn’t know it was me, but he did need me. I took the gig, for the experience, and the chance to get the awful relationship between me and Chuck off my mind, and the pure voice of Clay Aiken, would be just the prescription.

 

 

 

Chapter Sixty Seven -- On His Knees

 

My plan with Jerome to pull a tour kick off prank was in effect. The set up; the tour bus. Our home for the next three months. A protector from rabid fans and owner of semi-comfy beds. A vehicle that we grow to love over time. But what would happen if something were to happen to said vehicle? Emotions run high, anger flourishes, and all you wanna do is find who ever is responsible and tear them a new one. But that was a risk we were willing to take. Jerome knew a guy in the area that had buses that were completely hollowed out. Luckily, he had one that had the same exterior as ours. I talked him into towing it to the venue’s parking lot and putting a small attachment into the bus. Operation Hollow Bus was in full, erm… swing.

 

~~

 

Final rehearsal went fantastically. The same band was with us, we had a lot of leeway when it came to rehearsing. Clay and I spent a lot of time just hanging together in Raleigh. Clay and I took refuge at his mom’s house and we just had a great 4 days off before kicking off the tour in New York.

 

“Lor?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you want to come with me during the Good Morning America interview?”

 

“No.” I said.

 

“Why not?” He asked, laughing.

 

“I don’t like doing live interviews. You know that. I’m a drummer, Clayton.”

 

“I know, but this will be my first live interview since we got married, and they want to talk to you too.”

 

“Well, you can talk for me.” I said. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “I’m serious. You know me well enough to answer for me.”

 

“But, would you do it for me?” He pouted slightly and gave me the cutest puppy dog eyes.

 

“Clayton…”

 

“Rory?”

 

He made the face even cuter and took my hands. “Pweese?”

 

“That doesn’t work on me!” I said. He got down on his knees and crawled to me. There he was. 5 o’clock in the evening the night before the GMA performance, in our hotel on his knees begging me to defy my shyness and go on national TV. “I won’t, Clay. I won’t.”

 

“Please, darlin?” He pushed up my pink t-shirt and began kissing my stomach. “Please? If you don’t, no Cheese Whiz for you.”

 

“I can live with out it.”

 

He gasped overdramatically.

 

“I can! But the real question is, can you?”

 

“I already know the answer to that, but to maintain my dignity, I won’t answer.” He kept kissing.

 

“I’m sorry, Clay. You’ll just have to tell Diane that I’m too shy.”

 

“But if you’re there, she’ll tone down the blatant flirting she does.”

 

“Oh you love it. She’s your Mrs. Robinson.”

 

“You’re a bad girl!”

 

“You know it!”

 

“So that’s a no?” He asked, with a tinge of disappointment.

 

“That unfortunately is a no.” I said, kneeling on the floor with him.

 

“Alright. Fine. But there will be revenge. On this tour, don’t turn your back. I’m a prank master.”

 

I laughed on the inside. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when his wife and bodyguard pull a huge prank on the Prank Master. My inner laugh then became audible. He pushed me on to my back and crawled on top of me, tickling me. He then kissed me passionately and let me back up.

 

“Fine. I will handle any questions they may have had for you. I love you.”

 

“Love you too, Clayton. You know I do.”

 

“Can I ask you something?” He said. “You said you remember waving to me at the AMA’s. Did you ever think about me after that?”

 

“Every day. I thought about how I would approach you. Luckily you ended up doing the approaching.”

 

He kissed me lightly. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What for?”

 

“For not rescuing you from Chuck that night. Something told me that I should have. You didn’t look too thrilled that he was there.”

 

“Oh, honey, don’t look back at that. We met. I would have met you again. But ground was broken that night. We made a huge step into being together. It just took a second step to get us together. I did need rescuing, and I deeply hoped you would have, but it turned out fine. Who knows what may have happened if I had left with you that night. We could loathe each other right now.”

 

“I highly doubt it.”

 

“I know.” I kissed him again. “Alright. Let’s stop thinking about the past, and just about the present and our future.”

 

“You’ve got it, Rorzilla.”

 

“You’re diggin’ a hole, Mr. Sugar-Pants.”

 

 

Chapter Sixty Eight – Here We Go, Again…

 

 

We got to the venue in North Dakota, piling out of our cabs, and towards our respective buses.

 

“Clay, you go on it, I’m gonna call Kyle.” I said. He nodded and made his way to the hollow bus. I walked beside Jerome and crossed my arms. “All go well for the plan?”

 

“I added a little something.” He said. I looked up at him. “Blow up doll.”

 

I sighed. “I don’t even want to know where it came from.” We waited in anticipation. Clay walked on to the bus and I could see him stop in the window. I then started to hide behind Jerome. He ran off the bus and back towards me.

 

“You’re so going to get it!” He said, picking up speed. He had seen the barren bus, and only dead in the center was our Sex Swing, with the blow up doll in the harness.

 

“I’m not fully to blame! Jerome’s wanted to do this forever!” I said, running towards the hidden bus in an alley way neighbouring the venue. He cornered me against the bus and grabbed both my hands and pushed me against the front of the real bus. He held me against it with his own body, letting me feel every inch of him.

 

“You, are so dead!” He said, breathlessly. He then devoured my lips. “I’ve never wanted you more.” He kissed me again and pressed himself against me.

 

“Clay, not now. We have a show in a few hours, and Jerome is on his way.”

 

“We’ll finish this later. But excuse me while I go try to beat up Jerome.” He said, laughing. He kissed me again and released me from his grip. “Whose blow up doll was that, and, is that our swing?”

 

“It’s our swing baby. The doll not included.” He smiled and we walked back around the bus. Jerome was just walking around. Clay raised his eyebrow and laughed.

 

“You better watch your back, Jerome!!! Now I’m just plain mad!” He joked. He gave him a ‘that was a good one’ pat on the arm and opened the door to the bus. “No, seriously Jerome, we’re gonna have to gang up on Rory.”

 

“I don’t know, Clay, she’s pretty good at smelling a prank.” He winked at me and I gave him a nod. “Plus, now she’s expecting it.”

 

“There will be a time when her guard will be let down.” Clay said. He walked to the bunks and stopped. He pointed at one and smiled. “I call this bunk!”

 

“Yes, we all do, Clay. Because that is what it’s called!” I joked. I took the bunk under him and threw my bag inside. I stood back up and looked at him. He was watching me put everything in. I smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

 

“Here we go again.” He said.

 

~~

 

The show went off without a hitch, performing for an audience again was exhilarating. There were signs of encouragement from the fans. Clay did his usual cell phone routine, he didn’t, however dance with Angela. He was married; he knew I wouldn’t stand for it. After the show, there was 2 hour meet & greet with contest winners and other fans who were lucky enough to get passes. Clay made it perfectly clear that he wanted me there.

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

“Because,” He pulled me on to his lap. We were in our dressing room (we now shared), just after the show ended. “You are my wife, I love you, and the fans love you. Just an autograph here, a photo op there, simple as pie.”

 

I sighed. “Alright, but since I have a feeling it’ll be more than a few, I’m leaving the tape on. I don’t want to ruin my beauties.” I said. He laughed. “Alright, just give me a minute. I want to change.”

 

“Want some help?” He asked, kissing my neck.

 

“Why, Mr. Aiken, do we have time for this?”

 

“The Meet & Greet starts when I get there. I can be late.” He took my shirt off and began to unclasp my bra. I stood up and walked to the door, locking it. I took the bra off all the way, and threw it at him. I pushed my shorts down and straddled his legs. He ran his warm hands up my back and pulled me against him. He let his hand fall between my legs and touched me gently. “How’s that baby?” He said in a low, throaty voice.

 

“Mmm.. Clayton.”

 

I plunged his finger deep inside and began caressing my nub with his thumb.

 

“How about that? Do you like that, darlin?”

 

All I could do was gasp in his ear. He laughed a little and moved his fingers faster. I reached down and released his hard shaft from his pants. I began stroking him lightly, kissing his neck, doing the whispering now. I felt his hips buck into me as he fingered me faster.

 

“I want to feel you, baby. Please.” I said. He kissed my ear and laughed slightly. He guided himself into me and held me against him. I moved myself on top of him and thrust him in and out. He bucked his hips against mine, pushing himself in further. We had a habit of making love on couches. I think we should buy stock in a major furniture manufacturer. After our climaxes, we grabbed a quick shower together and changed for the meet & greet. We unlocked the door and walked out, hand in hand.

 

“I wonder if anyone heard.” He said.

 

“What do people expect? We’re newlyweds. We’re gonna love each other, in every way. They just might be surprised where.”

 

“Here we go, again.” He said, kissing my cheek and walking through the doors and witnessing hundreds of fans turn and begin to scream. It was gonna be a l o n g two hours.

 

 

Chapter Sixty Nine -- What’s In a Name?

 

 

A young girl walked up to me. She couldn’t have been older than 5. Too cute for words. She held out her tour program booklet and asked me politely to sign it for her. Just as my pen hit the book, I panicked.

 

Do I sign Rory McCabe, or Rory Aiken? Was I going to keep my name the same? I decided to keep it McCabe, and until I decide if I would keep it the same for career’s sake. I gave the little girl a hug and she tentatively sauntered over to Clay. I posed for a photo with a woman around my age and signed her copy of MOAM, but no where were Clay was. That wasn’t mine to sign. Well, he was, but not on the picture. I decided that standing the whole time would be annoying, so I sat on the table with my legs crossed, signing away to the fans who knew who I was. One young woman held out a pair of drum sticks.

 

“Can you sign these?” She asked. I smiled and took them from her hands.

 

“Do you play?”

 

“I’m trying to. My mom won’t pay for lessons and my school doesn’t have a music program.”

 

“That’s awful. Well, until lessons are available to you, my advice is practice on pots and pans, then your parents will get so fed up, they’ll get you lessons.” I said, signing each stick with small letters.

 

“Thanks Rory.”

 

She walked over to Clay and he looked at the sticks. He looked back up at me and shot me a look. He signed each one and gave the girl a hug. But his stare made its way back to me and he raised his eyebrow. I was signing away and posing for pictures. A few minutes later, Clay walked over to me and put his arm around me.

 

“So, Mrs. Aiken…” He began. Uh oh. I was in trouble. “How’s the signing going?”

 

“I think it’s an acquired habit.”

 

“Hmm… So, having a hard time remembering your name?”

 

“Why yes, I am. How did you know?” I said, sarcastically. “I’m used to signing McCabe.”

 

“But that’s not your last name. Aren’t you happy you’re an Aiken?”

 

“Honestly?” I joked. He gently nudged me. “I’m trying, baby. It hasn’t been that long. I’m getting used to it.”

 

He kissed my cheek. “Okay.” He went back to signing, but he stayed close. He eyed what I was signing. A young man came up holding up his copy of Modern Drummer. The page was open to the half naked photo.

 

“It’s a great picture, Rory.” He said.

 

“Thank you.” I held the magazine and signed. Rory Aiken. He asked for a picture and we posed… and Clay jumped in too.

 

~~

 

Two hours later… the M&G was ending. I packed up my things and Clay’s things also and headed to the bus. I plopped on to the couch and waited for Clay. I turned on the TV and sat in awe. CSPAN. How I missed CSPAN. We hadn’t had time to even think about turning on the TV. It was getting to the point where I wanted to TIVO CSPAN. I laid on the couch and rested my head on my hands. Clay and Jerome walked on and smiled.

 

“Bus, sweet bus!” He said. He sat next to me lifting my legs and sitting under them. “Are you okay, honey?”

 

“Yeah. Just tired. I’m kinda glad we have no show tomorrow. I can catch up on CSPAN. Finally get to skateboard a bit.”

 

“No no no. No skateboards. Now that you’re my wife I can say it. No more skateboards. At least not on tour.”

 

“And why not?”

 

“I’ll give you 2 reasons why not. You could fall, break something in that pretty little body of yours and you’d be useless on stage. I hate it when you’re not there with me. Second, you could hurt yourself and leave the tour all together. And neither of us wants that, right?” He said.

 

“Well…”

 

“Well… I’m right.”

 

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He pulled me all the way on to his lap and smiled. “I promise to keep the skateboarding at a minimum.”

 

“Lorelai…”

 

“Uh oh, he used my full name, I’m in trouble now!”

 

“Please? I just want what’s best for you.”

 

“Clay, if I knew I was going to get hurt, then I wouldn’t be skateboarding in the first place. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve fallen. I’ll be fine.”

 

“I’m not budging on this.” He said.

 

I stood up off of him. “Neither am I.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine.” He walked to the bunk area and crawled into his.

 

I crawled into mine and closed the curtain. It took about five seconds to realize. It was only midnight. I wasn’t tired. I contemplated turning on a DVD… but I was too awake to do that. I slid back out and sat on the couch again, turning on the TV, and mindlessly flipping through the channels.

 

“Hey.” A voice said. It was Clay; he had slipped out of his bunk and was walking towards me.

 

“Hey.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“I should trust you.”

 

“I respect your position, but I don’t think you should worry that much.”

 

“I know you’ll be okay.”

 

I paused. Was he? Did I? Was this?

 

“Am I right?” I asked, surprised.

 

He laughed as he sat next to me. “I shouldn’t have tried to control you and I’m sorry. You’re better at it than I thought you would be. You’re a strong girl. An even stronger woman. That’s why I fell in love with you.” He said, taking me in his arms.

 

“Clayton, I know you feel like you need to protect me. I like it when you do. But it’s not like I’m going to go in a half pipe or off railings or anything. Just around.”

 

“Okay.” He kissed my cheek. “Was that a fight? Because neither of us raised our voices, or made accusations.”

 

“Nah, that wasn’t a fight. Just a minor disagreement. Come on, let’s go to sleep.” I said, standing up. He walked with me to the bunks and on the way, I tripped, twisting my ankle, and falling to the ground.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“And the skateboard was going to hurt me? You’re pretty dangerous yourself, maestro.”

 

 

 

Chapter Seventy - Sidelined

 

 

We pulled into the next town and found a hospital. Yep, I did something to my foot. The fact that my foot was borderline purple and felt like I dropped an anvil on it was a clear giveaway. I got a few x-rays done. Turns out, the fall and twisting it, fractured my heel. Not too big of a deal. I could still play, but after a lot of icing. I limped back to the bus and Clay immediately picked me up.

 

“If we want you to play tomorrow, you have to stay off it.” He set me on the couch, raised my foot and put a pillow under it. He sat at the table and looked at me with worry. I stared at him.

 

“Clay?”

 

His eyes jolted up. “Yeah?”

 

“Do me a favour?”

 

“Oh, anything, baby.”

 

“Stand up.” I said. He did so. “Come over here.” He did so. “Kneel down next to me.” He did so. I leaned in and kissed him gently. “Now that you’re here, just calm down. I’m going to be fine. The doctor said if I ice it all night, and keep it wrapped tomorrow, I should be fine. I’ve seen hockey players play through much worse than what I’ve got. And if it’s still bad tomorrow, than I’ll put a blanket or two over the pedal, to soften the impact.”

 

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. “You always know what to say.”

 

“Well, I do try.”

 

“So are you in any pain right now? Do you need anything?” There he was, worrying again.

 

“I’m fine. But I could use another kiss.”

 

“I can do that.” He said, smiling. He covered my lips with his and held my hand in his.

 

~~

 

The next day, wearing a black hoodie and jeans, I limped to the stage and carried blankets with me. It was early July, but I still carried around blankets. My foot was not feeling any better, but it was a do or die situation. If I didn’t play, it would be one rhythm-less night. I padded the bass drum pedal with blankets. I taped up my fingers and got ready for the rehearsal. Clay was doing an interview in the seating. I could see him from my chair. I clasped my rings on to my necklace and began testing the pedal on my foot. Pure agony. The pain in my heel was probably the worst thing to have for a drummer. I walked away from my drum set and went back to the dressing room, unwrapped the tensor bandage on my foot, and put ice on it again. There was no way I wasn’t performing tonight. I had to get passed it. I took two Advil, hoping it would help with the pain, and wrapped it back up again. I went back to the drums and did my best to hide the pain from the rest of the band. Clay would be harder to convince.

 

I rolled up the blankets and created more of a cushion on the pedal, to see if it would help……

 

I found out the hard way that no matter what I did… the pain wouldn’t go away.

 

I was in trouble. I could barely keep my foot on it for one second let alone play for 2 hours. There were two routes to take. Give in and call around the area for a replacement, and tell Clay that I am injured and that playing was a bad idea, or find a doctor that will give me morphine. Either way, I would encounter Clay on the way. He is my worrisome husband, after all.

 

But honesty was key. I waddled my way back to the dressing room and sat down on the couch. The second show of the tour, and I was already sidelined. I put my foot up on the cushions and put my arm over my face. I dozed off slightly, and was woken up by the sound of the door opening.

 

“Rory?”

 

“Hey.” I said. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. He looked at my foot that rested on top of a large Ziploc bag full of ice.

 

“I take it that it’s not good.”

 

“I tried. I did. I tried cushioning it, I tried pain medication. I tried it. I’m sorry Clay.”

 

“Rory, Rory, it’s alright. Don’t worry.” He held me in his arms, rubbed my back to reassure me, but I still felt awful. “You said it yourself. You’re good at the triangle, right?”

 

I laughed a little. “What are we gonna do? The show must go on, but you won’t have much of a beat.”

 

“I’ve already talked to the tour manager. They’re arranging to fly someone in.”

 

“Who? Is it Chuck? Because I’m pretty sure the bars are keeping him where he belongs.”

 

“No, it’s the drummer from the AI tour. They’re somewhere in the area, but have a few days off. They said we can keep him for as long as we need him, but to let them know so their back up can fly out.”

 

“Why don’t I have a backup?”

 

“You didn’t need one till now. You’re too talented to have a backup. Now, after my antics on the bus, accidentally tripping you, we may have one. This is my fault, Rory.”

 

“No it isn’t. Let’s blame gravity and call it a deal.” I said. He laughed. I kissed his forehead and held his hand as he helped me up. He walked me to the back exit and we walked together to the bus. On the other side of a fence were three teenage girls. They noticed us right away.

 

He whispered into my ear. “Should we go over? There’s a fence in the way.”

 

“Call Jerome?”

 

“I think he’s on the bus.” He walked me to the bus and checked to see if Jerome was there. He came with us while we talked to the fans on the other side of the fence.

 

“Why are you limping, Rory?”

 

“I broke my heel.” I said, signing her banner.

 

“Are you still playing tonight?”

 

“No. It’s too much right now. Thanks for your concern though.” I said.

 

“Has Clay been taking care of you?”

 

“Oh, you know Clay! He waits on me hand and foot, carries me wherever I need to go, and he even cuts my food for me! He worries too much.” I said, looking at him as he raised an eyebrow.

 

“I have to do that, because she’s such a clutz!” He said. I lightly slapped him and continued signing.

 

“Congratulations on the wedding, you guys.” A voice said. I looked to see who it was, but they were hiding. Clay was looking around too. Jerome was in full bodyguard mode.

 

“Who said that?” I asked. Clay immediately shot me a look. Jerome was almost freaking out.

 

“I did.” The voice said. Then, from behind the three girls, out popped the one man that no one expected to see in North Dakota at that exact place and at that exact time. I could have fainted. Clay was about to jump the fence. Jerome stayed motionless.

 

Chapter Seventy One - The Pronoun Game

 

“Kyle, you crazy little man.” I said. He hopped over the fence and hugged me.

 

“HA. Honey, you did NOT just call me little!” He greeted Clay and Jerome and immediately looked around.

 

“Kyle, what are you doing here?” Clay asked.

 

“How else do you think the swing got to Bismarck? Plus I brought a nice large box of wedding photos for you. The fact that I am in North Dakota? I have no idea. I do know that I will be leaving as soon as I can! This place is just… so… icky!”

 

We all laughed.

 

“What’s this I hear your heel is broken?” He asked.

 

“Clay tripped me.”

 

“Hey! We were blaming gravity!” Clay whined.

 

“I’m blaming you!” I joked. “I tripped on the bus, whacked my foot on the wall. It should be okay, but I probably won’t be playing for a bit.”

 

“Sweetie that sucks.”

 

“I’ll live. Clay’s taking care of me.”

 

“Kyle, I didn’t get to thank you for all you did at the wedding. You left so quickly after the reception.”

 

“I had to get back to Denver. I had a date.” He said.

 

“With who?” We all asked at once.

 

“You don’t know them.”

 

“Well come on, spill!”

 

“They’re not from Denver if you’re asking.”

 

Clay and I looked at each other. “Why are we playing the pronoun game?” Clay asked. “You don’t know them’ ‘they’re not from Denver’. Just say it.”

 

He paused. “Her name is Catherine.”

 

My jaw dropped. Clay’s jaw dropped. Jerome, who was only eavesdropping on our conversation, his jaw dropped too.

 

“Woah.” I said.

 

“I met her in Vegas. But it’s not what you think. She used to be a man.”

 

“Oh.” Clay said.

 

“She is beautiful. For a woman. She’s nice. But we connected with each other. I’m not saying goodbye to who I am. I’m just spending time with someone who has dealt with what I’ve gone through. We’re happy with each other.”

 

“Kyle, sweetie, as long as you are happy, I am happy for you.” I said, hugging him.

 

“Well, lovebirds, I’ve got a plane to catch. The pictures are in a large box in your dressing room. There are a lot. I took tons before I left, every member of your family, Clay, also took dozens of pictures. And the photographer’s photos are in there too. They’re fantastic. I’m going with Catherine to Niagara Falls in a few days, but we’ll catch up with you later in the tour!”

 

“I can’t wait to meet her.” I said.

 

“Thanks for everything, Kyle. We really appreciate it.” They shook hands and Jerome brought us back to the bus. We sat down next to each other on the couch.

 

“So…”

 

“Kyle and a woman.” I said.

 

“Who used to be a man?” He added.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Weird.”

 

“I know.”

 

A long pause ensued as we tried to wrap the news into our heads. Kyle and a woman.

 

“Anyway. I should get to rehearsal. Are you going to come watch? Or just stay here? We can go get something to eat after.”

 

“I’ll stay here.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Kyle and a woman??”

 

“I know.” He kissed my cheek and stood. “Do you need ice for your foot?”

 

“I’m good, Clay.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes. Go knock the empty audience dead.”

 

He laughed as he left the bus.

 

Kyle and a woman?

 

~~

 

I limped my way to the dressing room when the show was about to start. I sat on the couch and Clay brought me ice, food, something to drink.

 

“What’s all this for?”

 

“I don’t want you to move. I want you in the same place when I get back.”

 

“Well, thanks. But can you drag that box of photos my way? I want to look through them.”

 

“Sure baby.” He put it beside me on the floor next to the couch. He sat next to me and put my arm around me. I leaned into his embrace and rested my head in his shoulder. “I’m gonna miss you tonight.”

 

“I’ll miss you too. But I’ll occupy my time with our memories.”

 

“On the TV, there’s a live feed to the video they show on the big screens.”

 

“I’ll have to turn that on. So how was my replacement?”

 

“He’s not you. That’s for sure.”

 

“You better go. It’s show time.” I said. He pulled my face towards him and he gently kissed me. “Break a leg. Or don’t. Don’t break anything.” He kissed me again. “Not my leg, either.”

 

 

 

Chapter Seventy Two - Waiting In Line At Disneyland

 

 

I sat on the couch, not moving an inch, and I picked up the photo album on the top of the box. It was from the photographer. I opened it and smiled. We looked so happy. We were standing in the courtyard behind the church. I never enjoyed the look of myself in a dress, but I felt differently for some reason. I felt happy. I looked happy. My hand was tightly twined into Clay’s. I turned the page. The next picture was of me. I was walking down the aisle. The next pictures, Clay and I at the alter, exchanging vows.

 

I flipped through everyone else’s pictures too. Man, these guests went snap-happy! There were tons of pictures. I could hear from where I sat the crowd roaring to their feet. I turned on the live feed and kept it on while I looked through the pictures. One envelope was from Brett, which included a few from the Bachelor party. There was the girl I hired. Her name was Helen. I told her to keep her hands off. But she did get a little cozy with Ruben. How could she resist? He is the velvet teddy bear.

 

Then Kelly sent pictures from the Bachelorette bash. Clay will be so relieved that there was no male stripper. Just a bunch of girls together, drinking. Clay was singing “Perfect Day”, and I was looking at our perfect day.

 

~~

 

“Rory, the drummer for this tour, and the last tour, and my wife, cannot be with us tonight. She has an injured foot.” The crowd ‘aww’d and clapped. “She is however watching from an undisclosed location, so everyone give a hand for the lovely Lorelai Aiken.”

 

Oh he was gonna get it.

 

~~

 

I got up and walked around. My foot was starting to seize up because it was just laying there lifeless. I was pretty sure that ten more minutes I could have declared it legally dead. It still hurt to put pressure on it, but it was definitely getting better. The screams from the arena were beginning to die. The show was over. It was almost time for the meet and greet. More importantly, Clay would be back in seconds. I could hear him in the hall way. I sat back down and crossed my arms against my chest.

 

He walked in, towel around his neck, and a smile on his face.

 

“You moved!”

 

“Guilty.” I said.

 

“You weren’t supposed to move.” He said. “Did you watch the show?”

 

“Oh… I did.” I said, not making eye-contact with him.

 

“Well, what did you think? How’s Darrel?”

 

“He’s good. The rest of the show was quite… interesting.”

 

He took a swig of water and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “I know I haven’t been in Hollywood long, but I’m pretty sure that means it sucked.”

“Just one thing you said.”

He was obviously confused. “What the heck are you talking about?”

 

“Well, you were talking to the audience about me. That was nice. But,” I stood up and he came over to help me. “There was one other thing you said that maybe shouldn’t have been said.”

 

“Oh… Rory… I’ve told you once; I’ll tell you a thousand times… your last name is Aiken.”

 

I laughed an annoyed laugh. “I know that, sweetheart.” I moved so he was standing right between me and the couch. “But what about… before that?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

I pushed him on to the couch. I straddled him and wrapped my arms around him. The smile that erupted onto his face told the tale of what he wanted. But I was about to change that. I leaned down and whispered into his ear. “You called me Lorelai. You know I don’t like it, yet you announced it to 20,000 people.”

 

“Oh, it’s not that big of a deal.” He said, kissing my neck.

 

I pulled away playfully. “You may think that. But I don’t.”

 

I scratched his head dramatically. “What are you talking about?”

 

I gently kissed his lips. “The next time, you say my full name, in public; I’ll make it so you never forget.” I said, letting my hands fall to the top of his pants. “Because I’ll never touch you like this…” I slid my hand inside. “Until you get it.”

 

He gulped. “Rory…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I…”

 

“Say it!”

 

“I like this domination thing. It’s hot.” He said, squeezing my butt and pulling it closer to himself.

 

“Not that, but that’s good too. Say it.”

 

“I promise I won’t call you Lorelai in public.”

 

I kissed him gently and rubbed his penis. “Good.”

 

He laughed. “It was a slip of the tongue. I’m sorry.”

 

“I know. I was just messing with you.” I said, laughing. “You know that we have a track record with couches, I just wanted a little fun with it.”

 

“I like fun.” He said, eyes wide like a child seeing Disneyland for the first time. Clay would like this ride. Just a short wait in line, while I made my own fun.

 

THE END

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