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What it means to be nutty as fruitcake
I'm no shrink. I have taken a few psychology subjects in university and read my share of books on psychology, pop or otherwise, yet I am still as unqualified as can be. I write this page for myself, since I can't afford a shrink--most of the time I wish I could talk to a real shrink for hours to an end, but that is impossible, so I just talk to myself. And webpage-building is therapeutic. Finances aside, my first session would most likely go like this:
Claire's first session with Dr. Proctor, licensed shrink: Not very invigorating, huh. Seriously speaking, if you strip off the smart-assiness of yours truly you will find, well, you will find, a, uh... well, you won't find anything much, but then this whole thing is meant to be funny, so I hope you'll find it funny, otherwise I shall hang myself up the nearest fig tree (doncha worry, the nearst fig tree is in Kefar-Sava, Israel). Just kidding, of course. I mean about the hanging, not the fig tree. At any rate, if you have nothing better to do with your time, then please sit back and let me and the voices in my head entertain you. He he he... Here we will deal with behavioral cognitive social transpersonal child forensic sports music experimental industrial evolutionary health critical narrative clinical psychology, all from an incompetent layperson's point of view. Each month a new topic will be featured, and the format will be: (1) an overview of the whole issue; (2) observations, confessions, and reflections based on personal experience; (3) unqualified and unsolicited advice; and (4) links to self-proclaimed qualified advisers. PS. Don't get me wrong, I am not making fun of psychology or psychiatry per se. In fact, I have always wanted to become a shrink myself, but I knew that I will get hopelessly entangled in my patients' lives and become too involved to provide any helpful, objective therapy, so I thought I should become a lawyer instead. In the end, I decided to take up home economics major in embroidery and minor in quilting. Welcome to Pop Psycho (formerly The Armchair Psychologist)!
Disorder Specialist: Internet Addiction Disorder (Updated 08 March 2000) |
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