Saturday - June 12, 2008

WELCOME BACK TO THE LAND OF THE CONSCIOUS!

So, apparently I've been out for two - possibly THREE - days. Brian doesn't know because I was already unconscious when they found me. He also doesn't know what happened to me. So...the popular guess is that I got so dehydrated that I just passed out. I have no clue, of course. All I remember is not being able to find the beach and something vague about birds - which confused the hell out of me until I read the last few journal entries. FUCK I was out of it!

Ever since I woke up yesterday, I've been sleeping a lot. Besides feeling like crap, I don't think I would have been allowed to lift a finger if I'd wanted to. Everyone seems so relieved that I'm awake that they'll hardly even let me move. (I dunno. It seems a little backwards if you ask me.) For example, I was hungry, so I asked for food. Brian was all smiles and he all but pranced out of the room. A few minutes later he came back with a wide variety of fruits and put it just out of my reach. When I started to lean for it, he snatched it even further and shook his head like I was some misbehaving child. Then he proceeded to feed me with his own hands. If it had been that one isolated incident it might have been understandable. But then later, when I decided I wanted to get dressed (I've only been in boxers for three or four days!), Rory looked skeptical and called Brian in to help me. I actually had to wonder if I wasn't some sort of invalid and they were trying to keep the information from me until I was stronger. But no. I think they're just being super-protective of me.

I guess it's kind of sweet if you think about it. That they care enough about me to want to help.

***

Sunday - June 13, 2008

Okay. Not so sweet anymore. I've tried all that I could to get them to help me walk around. So far I'm met with resistance. I don't understand this at all. Brian is treating me like I'm an infant. The others aren't so bad, but Brian gives them dirty looks if they get too exuberant about helping me.

Whatever. It'll pass. My mom was the same way when I came out of the coma after I was bashed.

***

We got wind of an interesting little nugget of knowledge today.

Seems that Neil has been using his free time - all twenty-four/seven - to work on a raft of some kind. From what I hear, Rory bumped into Neil this morning after she woke up. She was surprised since she's usually the only person up at that time of morning. Apparently she had a chat with him and more or less followed him until they came to a smaller beach area than our own, just past the cliffs to the west of us. She said that he has several tools, some made - some taken from our supply. There was a maze of long and short timber all mixed together in some sort of pattern. It looks like he's also been weaving rope, though he's not nearly as far along as he would be if he would have asked for help.

At first Rory thought he had planned to put it together and leave us for dead. But then she decided to talk to him about it and she said he seemed genuinely okay that she knew about it. She told him that we would help him, but he was dead set against it. So she made him swear to keep us up on the progress he's making. He agreed.

It's really odd. I mean, why didn't we think about a raft before? I guess maybe because it seems like stupid idea. It's really iffy. I mean, either you get picked up or you don't. Either you find land or you don't. You could easily run out of fresh water or food. Easily get too much sun exposure. It's so risky a thing to attempt. I don't know that I would chance it on a raft or not. Guess we'll find out though.

***

Tuesday - June 15, 2008

Today I finally got Brian to help me hobble around outside. About fucking time too! I was dying being cooped up in that house!

While we were sitting out on the beach there was this really loud scream. Like a bloodcurdling scream. Like a horror movie - I'm being tortured by a man with a leather face kind of scream.

Brian left me to see what was wrong and a minute after he went in, he came running right back out, following Rory. Rory was white as a sheet and gasping for breath. Don't know that I've ever seen her so distressed. Turns out that there was a snake in the house. A big one according to Brian.

No one would go near it. Nor the house for that matter. When Neil came back later that night, we were all still sitting on the beach, staring very intently at the house. He looked at us as if we were crazy, even after we told him about the snake. "God, you are such girls!" he said, walking into the girl's room - intent on being all macho and scooting the snake out like it was nothing just to make us look bad. But instead of playing out his little testosterone fantasy, he yelped and hurried quickly outside towards us.

FINALLY, around ten or so, we see the big-ass whatever slither out the door - looking like a non-cheesy non-mechanical version of the movie "Anaconda"! It was probably looking for somewhere a little warmer. I dunno. I don't care either. It left, went into the trees. Good riddance. Though I think we're all pretty much wide-ass awake tonight. Visions of snakes that look like they could swallow you whole just don't seem to be conducive to a good night's sleep.

***

Thursday - June 17, 2008

Able to walk around a little more. By myself too! Feeling ninety percent better. It's a great feeling. Would be even greater if I didn't have someone hovering over me every damn minute. That's right Brian. Yeah. You. STOP READING OVER MY FUCKING SHOULDER!

***

Friday - June 18, 2008

He won't go away! I tried to persuade him to let me go with Cynthia to get water, but he refused. Said I couldn't handle going that far just yet. So I started to go anyway, while he wasn't paying attention. The mistake I made there is that he's ALWAYS paying attention. We got ten feet when he grabbed me from behind and slung me over his shoulder. I beat my fists against his back and screamed right into his ear to ‘put me the fuck down'!

He put me down, finally, in our room and sat down in front of me. I refused to look at him, but he decided that then was the right time to light into my ass about running off to the other side of the island. Like it was my fault that I got lost. My fault that I ran out of water. My fault that I made them worry. I can take some of the blame there but...sometimes shit just happens. I told him that maybe they should have just left me if I was so much trouble. He looked like he wanted to slap me. Instead he got up and left the room. I thought he might be really angry with me, but later, when I came outside again, he was right there beside me.

Maybe his constant attention is actually my punishment.

***

Saturday - June 19, 2008

I am in HELL!

Today Brian tried to feed me. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he just shrugged. Then later, when I was trying to forget all the stalking and following and smothering and feeding ... I was nibbling and licking and sucking, TRYING to get him in the mood. (Something I don't usually have to work at.) But he stopped me and made me lay down beside him. He told me we shouldn't just yet. He didn't want to hurt me! That it might be too much for me yet. HA!

That's it! Brian Kinney has lost his friggin mind and he's trying to take me down with him!

***

Sunday - June 20, 2008

I'm at my wit's end! I BEGGED him to leave today! BEGGED!!! To go elsewhere. Have some time alone. Give ME some time alone. He just kissed my forehead and told me he had to look after me. Like I'm some kind of fucking TODLER! I told HIM very clearly, that he wouldn't be able to look after me at all if I KILL him.

I love the man with all my heart but there is a very big line that you shouldn't cross and right now he is stomping all the fuck over it.

To Be Continued in part 13