So...I've been a little standoffish lately. I know this. It comes as no surprise to me that Justin is angry. But this... This is ridiculous. I swear is he is such a fucking drama queen!

"You have to go after him," Rory insists. Why me? I wasn't the one that made the man run away like a child. Okay...so maybe I was but...

"No way. He doesn't even deserve to go after him," Cynthia says. Not surprised about that either. She and Justin have been co-conspirators ever since we landed here. If one of them isn't plotting something, then it's the other. More often than not though, it's both of them. Still, I thought at least she would be on my side.

If he wasn't the one upset, Justin would be on my side. Might not agree with me, but he would support me. All too late, I'm realizing that Justin is my biggest ally and now that I've gone and pissed him off completely, I'm pretty much shit outta luck.

"I just can't believe you said that, Brian. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I just stare at the woman who was once my assistant and shake my head, finally looking away again when her look of disappointment becomes too much.

The thing is, I'm not even sure that I know what the problem is. I do...but I don't.

Rory huffs and tosses another log on the fire. It's a little chillier than usual tonight. I just hope Justin has a way to stay warm - wherever he is.

***

When Justin told me that he was leaving, I wasn't so much shocked as I was pissed. And amazingly, for once, it wasn't at Brian.

Justin is an extremely strong person. He's smart and brave and...crazy in love with Bri. He was...is ‘the one' for my boss. I always said that, even before I knew he existed.

When Brian came into work one morning, several years ago, I knew that something was different. I remember the first time he let me leave early, telling me that he had plans. Something about jambalaya. He never said with whom, though I totally badgered him about it. He wouldn't spill. Still, his attitude had improved. Not saying off the charts or anything, but he was tolerable. He rarely ever threatened to fire me during those days. I didn't care who was infecting the change, as long as they kept his highness happy.

Well...happy by Kinney standards anyway.

That kid kept up with Brian for a long time. Put up with a lot of shit. And I didn't necessarily blame him when he walked away from their relationship. But here. Now.... I've watched he and Brian fuse and become one, much more so than I could have seen happening at home.

Yes, Brian has been an uber-asshole lately. But Justin was supposed to stick it out. Because I know my boss. He's testing him. I don't know why, but I know he's trying to make Justin run. And he fucking succeeded. And worse, Justin let him. He's supposed to be seeing through this bullshit.

Okay...so I'm not all that mad at Justin. More like annoyed. And that's where Brian comes in.

He's been sitting beside me for the last two hours staring into the fucking fire like he isn't actually worried out of his mind. My aggravation with the whole situation is making me crazy so I reach over and whack him on the back of his head. Why should I suffer alone?

"What the fuck was that for?"

"Being stupid." Just because Justin is being an idiot, that doesn't mean I'm gonna excuse Brian's behavior in all of this.

I got the gist of what Brian had said from Neil, who was all too happy to share what had transpired, and I must say that Brian is getting off easy if all Justin does is leave for a day or two. If I were in his place, the others would be surgically removing my foot from Brian's ass right about now.

"Look...blaming Brian isn't going to help," Rory begins. Sometimes I wonder if she takes up this whole peacekeeper role automatically because she knows she's the only one that will. Other times I just wonder if she might need to get laid. Of course...who the hell am I to say that? I think by now I've earned honorary virgin status.

"Thank you!" Brian throws his hands up in relief, obviously glad to have a little defense.

"Though it is your fault," Rory adds. HA! I do so love that woman. "Still, it won't bring Justin back."

Brian looks crestfallen at this. I honestly think he regrets what he said, despite his bullshit ‘no regrets' policy. He KNOWS he messed up royally. "What am I gonna do?" he asks himself quietly.

"Candy is out but I'm sure you could find some flowers."

I glower at Neil, unable to believe that he's even daring to be part of this conversation.

Still...Brian gets this...look. A very Lucy-esque look. And here I was thinking I had the market cornered on that expression.

"Yeah..."he whispers. "I think I'm gonna go ahead and turn in."

Liar. As if he's gonna get any sleep tonight! Especially now that Justin's not right next to him. Not that he's helpless without his lover. You just get used to it. Just like if Rory wasn't in the same room, I probably couldn't sleep either. It's become a habit.

Plus, I noticed that Justin took the blankets. Yes, I have taught him well.

***

I could say that I'm ashamed for stirring up more trouble. But then I would be lying.

Don't get me wrong. I used to have a conscious, ya know. I used to be a pretty good guy. But...damn it's just boring here. No tv. No music. No...nothing! And it's not as if the others are good for conversation. Talk about the cold shoulder. I would get a better reception from my ex-wife. And she hasn't seen an alimony payment for months. Obviously.

Anyway...they can blame me all they want. I don't care. But I didn't do anything wrong. Honest. So, maybe I said something to provoke a reaction, but...

Kinney and I were sitting there quietly and then Justin walks between us, stripping and heading towards the water. All I did was sigh and say something like "Cue the music. Must be nice to have the person you loooove be so conveniently on hand." Shitty thing to say? I don't really think so. I mean...they do love each other. I might be a little anti-social in this little Gilligan's Island scene, but that doesn't mean I'm not seeing everything that goes on. And...well they ARE convenient are they not? See. Perfectly innocent comment if you ask me.

But Kinney looked as though I had offered him a plate of live slugs. "That's not love. That's a lack of options."

I was blown away by that reply. Not only had I expected to be told to fuck off, I had also figured that I might spark a little aquatic love-fest that would get the boys out of my line of sight for the rest of the afternoon. But no. I started a lovers' quarrel. Though...I guess that got one of them out of the camp for the night and the other is already off, sulking in his corner.

Hmm. Not too bad a job then.

***

I shiver as I wake for the fifth time tonight. Shit I miss Justin being next to me. And I miss our blankets too. Not that I blame him for taking them of course. No, no. I would have done the same. Ya know, if I was actually the type to storm off like a little twat. Me - I'm more into denial and avoidance.

But tomorrow... Tomorrow I'll find the little fucker and make everything okay. Time to set everything straight.

***

I wake bright and early, at the crack of dawn as usual, to find Cynthia curled up around me. Guess the chilly night got to her. Thing is, for a brief moment, before I opened my eyes, I pretended that it was a man draped over me. I imagined being back home with all of my creature comforts and...well it's amazing really. I used to lie in bed in the mornings and dream of being off on some tropical island with not a care in the world. Oh the irony.

Gently, I push Cynth off of me. Actually I could just kick her away and she would continue to snore without missing a beat, but I see no need for that. Well...not this morning anyway.

As I make my way down the beach, I glance out over the horizon and see a few fins dotting the landscape. Perhaps they're sharks, perhaps dolphins, perhaps they're some weird breed of fish that scientists have yet to discover. No matter - they're beautiful and it adds to the awesomeness of our home. I never would have seen that if I were in Pittsburgh.

Just as I begin to strip down to my underwear, Brian stalks out of the house. His quick, purposeful strides never falter and he never even notices my presence. He's a man on a mission and from his direction and demeanor it would seem that he's off to see about Justin.

About time too!

I know blaming him is futile, which is why I wouldn't even waste my breath doing so, but... Jeez! Why do some men have to be so...infuriating? It's as if their brains become paralyzed anytime they open their mouths. God forbid they try to use both at the same time!

"Exhibit A..." I mutter as a groggy Neil stumbles out of his room. "Morning," I say directly to him.

"Hmm," he huffs. He always looks so boyish first thing in the morning. His sun-bleached hair sticks up in all angles and his eyes look as though they're permanently glued together. I'm not really sure how he even makes it to where I'm standing. "Wha the fuck are you doin up anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I'm always up at this time." He nods, remembering that he already knew that. "Care to swim?" It seems a silly thing to ask, but it slips out of my mouth before I can stop it.

Maybe that whole brain paralysis is contagious.

Neil cracks his eyes open, blinking furiously against the dawning light. He stares at me for a second and nods, grunting his agreement.

It only takes a few minutes of tense silence for me to break down and start blabbing. I don't mind silence all that much but... Something about Neil makes me... I don't know. I just can't focus around him sometimes.

"Brian's gone off already," I begin, unsure of why I'm speaking to him at all other than I feel bad always ignoring him like the rest of the group do. "Hope he'll smooth things over with Justin."

WHY do I bother to talk to this man? He couldn't give two shits about Justin. Or Brian for that matter.

I shake my head and begin to swim in circles around the lagoon. Closing my eyes and letting my senses guide me beneath the calm waters, I stretch my muscles and smile at the feel of the strong movement. Nothing better than a cool swim on a warm morning.

As I kick forward, my head bumps against a surface and I jump, sucking in a mouthful of ocean. I put my feet down and attempt standing as I sputter and choke on the salty water. Firm hands steady me as they grasp my upper arms and I have to rub my eyes clear before I can actually see my stumbling block/savior.

I have every intention of telling Neil off for purposefully getting in my way, but I look up and he's...smiling. Not smirking his semi-evil smirk, but really smiling. He pushes a lock of hair out of my face and tilts his head slightly.

It's all I can do not to giggle like a mad woman. Or like some complete bimbo that I can picture as being Neil's perfect arm candy. He just seems the type to like them with a head full of rocks, breasts overinflated and a finger perpetually down their throats.

Either way, I can't help but stare back. Before I know it, his lips are covering mine.

Never in a million years... When I woke up this morning, this was definitely not on my list of things to do today.

The kiss extends, longer and longer, until finally I feel his right hand move from my arm, up and over my shoulder, up my neck and finally rest, cupping my jaw gently. I relax into the movement and ever so softly, his tongue sweeps past my own lips and teases mine.

I hear a soft groan emanate from deep within him as if he's growling, perhaps purring. It's that sound that finally makes me stop and take stock of the situation. Regain my senses. Stop the insanity!

I put my hands up and push him away gently. He's not quite so far gone that he doesn't immediately take the hint and step away. "I think.." I stumble. What do I think? Is this really wrong? I...just don't know.

Neil covers my mouth with his fingers and shakes his head. "You think too much." He turns away and wades back towards the beach, leaving me alone once again, the feel of his thumb still burning luscious tracks across my bottom lip.

What the hell just happened?!

***

I wake up to the sound of a bird. And not some sweet, Snow White-type bird. No, its squawk is shrill and abrasive and I really wish I had a rock to pitch at it. It's bad enough I tossed and turned all night from missing Brian and now I have to deal with this. It goes on and on with it's ‘cawah, cawah' for a good five minutes before I'm finally too fed up to take it any longer.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I scream at the unseen creature.

And still the bird shrieks, only now it's louder. It's as if it's now trying to piss me off.

"I don't think it heard you. Though the rest of the island did."

That voice, so warm and familiar, makes me smile. That is, until I remember why I'm in this cave in the first place. Actually, if truth be told, I'm already over all of that. Well...not completely. But the anger has definitely lessened.

What can you do when you realize some stupid fight is definitely not worth giving up the comfort you do get from the person? That doesn't mean I'm gonna let him get away with anything though.

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you. What are you doing here?" he throws back at me.

"Getting away from you," I tell him honestly.

"You think it was necessary to come all the way out here to do that?"

"Yes. I heard what you said, Brian. I think it was very necessary - for both of us - that I came here."

"Justin-"

"No!" I hold up my hand from where I'm still half lying on the ground. If he tries to defend himself or come near me right now I might actually give in. I love him. He's my weakness. But he's also my strength and I'll be damned if we ruin what we have over something like this happening again. So he has to know. "I heard you. You said I was just a lack of options. Well I know better than that. YOU know better than that. And if it takes me staying away from you for a while for this to work, then that's what is going to happen."

"But-"

"Do you really think I'm still just some fuck, Brian?" I ask. I know the answer, but I have to make sure that he knows as well.

He looks down at me and, without once breaking eye contact, shakes his head. "Of course not. It was...it was just stupid. I - I've been thinking a lot about us lately."

Well this is definitely a new revelation. I remain silent now, hoping he'll keep talking.

"I don't...I don't know what..." he shakes his head. For being the advertising genius that he is, Brian really doesn't express himself very well in these situations. Instead of continuing, he holds out a hand to me. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I ask, taking his hand reluctantly and allowing him to pull me to my feet. I wince, realizing that, though my arm has pretty much completely healed from the break, it's still tender as hell. Brian frowns at my expression and gives my arm a gentle rub that soothes the pain in a way that modern medicine could never replicate.

"We're gonna go for a little walk."

I'm not sure what that means. He sounds innocent enough, but what if he really just wants to toss me off a cliff so he's finally rid of the drama princess? I mean, who could possibly blame him? I've created so much drama around a statement that could have easily been explained away. It's not as if I've never said anything stupid that I've regretted. But... UGH!

Are relationships really worth this mental anguish?

Realizing that I'm falling behind, occupied as I am with my overload of thoughts, Brian reaches back and intertwines his fingers with mine. He smiles lovingly, but there's still a little hesitation. Yet I recognize that the hesitation is only on his face because he's still unsure of me.

I sigh. Yeah. He's worth everything.

It takes about ten minutes of tough hiking, over rocks, through thick brush, crossing two small streams, until we finally arrive at our destination. It's absolutely amazing. We're suddenly in an open field. It's covered in a blanket of blue and lavender flowers that are so brilliant that the sight takes my breath away.

"It's...beautiful."

Brian nods. "This is where I come...Sundays."

"Were you ever planning on sharing it?"

"I didn't want to give up the only place I had to be alone."

"So why are you showing me now?"

He looks at me and shrugs. "Guess I don't want to be alone anymore."

No. I won't take that and run with it. Not gonna jump to any conclusions. "Everyone needs to be alone sometime, Brian."

"Yeah. But...I want you to know that you can always find me if you need me."

I smile. It's not some undying pledge that he'll never leave my side. That's fine. But...this is his way of not disappearing on me. Still... "This still doesn't change what you said to Neil."

Brian sighs heavily, but not necessarily in annoyance. "I didn't mean it. I did...but I didn't. It's just that...when we got here, I never questioned the fact that we would be together. It was just a matter of time. And lately... lately I've been thinking about what would have happened if we hadn't gotten stuck here. Would you have found someone else? Would I have eventually fucked everyone in Pittsburgh and moved on to another city?" I laugh, but cover it with a cough. "But we are here. And I've been resenting the fact that we're together mainly because there's nowhere else to be."

"Brian," I start, unsure of what to say to that. "Why can't you just think that maybe...maybe we would have ended up in Paris, bumped into each other a million times in the hotel until we finally just sat down for a meal together, shopped together, took in sites... We could have fell in love in Paris. Instead...it happened on an island. The point is that it did happen. No matter what the reason, we're in this together. I love you. I'm happy being with you...until you say something stupid."

This time Brian covers a laugh and smiles ruefully at me. "I love you, Justin." he says, clearly and without hesitation.

"I love you too." I say again, figuring that it bears repeating. Pulling me to him with the hand that is still attached to mine, Brian winds his arms around me and places tiny kisses all over my forehead. I grin at the attention and giggle. "Is your drama queen moment over now?"

"MY drama queen mom-" Brian starts, in disbelief. It takes him a moment but he finally catches on. He shakes his head at me and pushes me away with just enough force to send me to the ground. I look all around me but all I can see is flowers all around me and Brian standing above me. "Trust us to have relationship problems on a fucking deserted island!" He says before lowering himself down onto me.

To Be Continued...