I sigh as the sun beats down on my body. My sunburn has finally faded and now I can actually enjoy being outside without worrying about cooking myself. Heck, maybe I'll even have a decent tan soon. I've never had one of those. Not really. My skin has never seemed to hold color for very long. Plus I have never before been much of an outdoors kind of person. I didn't do the outdoor sports and I was usually inside watching tv or playing video games or drawing or something when I was younger. Which was probably why I stayed as pale as I did. Wonder what I'll look like with a nice island tan.

"Who's turn is it?" Cynthia asks. She's stretched out on the sand beside me, Brian on the other side of her and Rory on the other side of me. The four of us decided to have a little leisurely tanning session and somehow it's turned into a game of truth or dare. Only...without the dares. And to be honest, without any decent questions either. I mean, we have to live with each other. We really don't need to ask any alienating questions. I think that's why Brian and I have both escaped any questioning about the two of us. Though I have no doubt in my mind that the girls are dying to ask.

Rory runs her fingers through the sand and I feel the grainy particles showering my leg. Tickling and itching at the same time. "Justin's," she answers.

I groan inwardly. I hate thinking of questions. "Okay...Cynth."

"Yo."

"If you could change one thing about yourself, physical or...whatever...what would it be?"

"Hmmm," She ponders the question as if it is the most important thing she has ever been asked. "Just one thing, right?"

"Right."

"I guess I'd want to have my ass lifted."

Of all the things she could have said... "What are you talking about?"

"My ass. It's totally flat. Haven't you noticed?" She rolls over and slaps her hip with her right hand.

I actually open my eyes to look at her backside, trying to figure out if it's flat or not. But honestly, I have nothing to measure it by. Not as if I know what a well positioned ass is supposed to look like on a woman. I just shrug and shake my head. "I don't see it."

"And THAT is exactly my problem," she says and winks at me.

I shake my head and close my eyes once again. "Your turn," I remind her.

"Oh right. Let me think of one." This should take a few hours. Cynthia is even worse than I am at thinking up questions.

"Do we have any more water?" Brian asks and I hear him slapping one of the small plastic Evian bottles against his leg absently.

"Oh...I'm not sure," Rory replies. "Do you see any?"

"Noooo Rory," Brian replies slowly. "That would be why I asked."

"Ugh!" Greeeeeat... Brian is getting snippy. Need to nip that in the bud before something gets started. "I'll go get more." I rise from my spot and walk to the hut, grab my empty backpack and stuff it full of the empty bottles that sit in one corner of the small common room. I notice a shadow fall over me and look up to see Brian standing in the doorway, looking pretty nice in nothing but a skimpy pair of black underwear. Next to him, I almost feel overdressed in my little blue boxer briefs.

"I'm going with you."

"I can go by myself." I try not to sound too desperate, but honestly...I mean, a guy gets like NO alone time around here and - well fuck! I've been spooned by Brian every night lately. I can't be that close to him and NOT need to let off a little steam!

"I insist. That way we can get two loads and cut down on the number of trips we have to make."

I nod and give in so easily, it's totally pathetic. Gone is the hardened, self-sufficient man I had become. Once again I've become just another of Brian Kinney's subjects. Deja-fuckin-vu!

We both slip into our shorts, Brian picks up an extra bag and we're off.

"Be careful!" The girls yell as we pass them. "Have fuuuuuun!"

I roll my eyes. They are so delusional.

The journey is quiet as we walk up the beach. Brian points out the marked trail that leads back to the cave, around the plane and eventually to the pool. Sooner or later we'll have to mark a shorter route but for now, this is the only familiar trail.

As we make our way through the jungle, I look all around me, memorizing every last detail. Or at least as much as I can take in. The bright orange and yellow birds that are perched on one of the higher tree limbs. A soft green lizard that is trying to blend in with the moss on a fallen log. The fuchsia flowers that cover several trees and even run along one of the vines overhead. Brian's shorts riding low on his hips, giving me a nice view of his lower back. The same spot I used to love nibbling on just before I would rim him so thoroughly.

I'm so engrossed in all of the beauty around me that I never even notice the tree in the path. I know I should have been paying attention, but there you go. I trip very ungracefully and frantically grab Brian's legs as I topple to the ground.

"FUCK!" he yells, pushing himself up enough to turn and glare at me. "What the hell?"

I see right away that he's covered in dirt and little flecks of leaves are in his hair. But I only notice this for a split second. Then all goes blurry and I have to bite back a scream. That's when I realize that I've landed on my arm. My LEFT arm!

HolySHIITAKEmushrooms!

Quickly I'm on my knees, my head still heavy on the ground, but my right arm is cradling my left arm close to my chest. I feel Brian patting my back, stroking the hair at the nape of my neck and whispering to me to just breathe. That the pain will pass. Miraculously, it does and after a few rough minutes I finally feel well enough to get up and keep going.

"Are you sure you don't want to just go back? I can take care of the water," Brian offers, eyeing my arm wearily.

"No. I'm fine. Honest. Sorry...for knocking you down." I smile sheepishly.

Brian smiles back at me and I'm not REALLY sorry if that's what came of it. I just love that smile. "Ya know, if you wanted me on the ground, all you had to do was ask," he flirts.

I refuse to actually read into that remark. Brian is a natural flirt. Sexual innuendo is second nature to him. It's like breathing. Still, I can't stop the blush that creeps into my face.

We take our time climbing down to the pond. Brian is never five feet from me and he constantly looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm making it without any trouble. Which I am. But he worries sometimes. And without the distraction of work and...normal everyday life, his worrying has shifted directly onto me, the girls and our current situation. Which is as it should be, I guess. It's just odd to have so much of his undivided attention.

Finally sitting on one of the rocks that surround the pond, we fill the empty bottles with fresh water and put them back in the bags to take back. Then we both have the same idea to make the most of the trip and wash ourselves off a little. Brian is especially insistent about it, since he's still covered in dirt and dust.

I try - I REALLY try - not to look at him as he slides out of his shorts and underwear, being his usual immodest self. Only...when I go to look away, he turns and stares at me and I simply can't tear my eyes away. I'm like a deer caught in the headlights. I'm not sure, but I think he mistakes my stunned expression for one of pain and he immediately rushes to check on me.

"Arm still hurting?" He asks as he begins to unzip my pants. Very nice of him, since I'm going at everything with one hand lately. It can be a struggle. But...he's naked. His good will is more like abuse.

While he works the zipper, that has chosen NOW to get stuck, I stand as still as a statue and will my cock not to get any ideas. Trouble is, it takes exactly ten seconds to get an erection and it's going to take a lot longer than that to convince my dick not to mutiny. Sure enough, when Brian finally wins the battle with my zipper and slides my pants and underwear off in one swift motion, he's slapped in the cheek with my hard on.

So let me just get this right in my mind. Brian. My ex...boyfriend/lover/whatever...the first man...ONLY man I've ever really loved and the sexiest man I will ever in my life know, is kneeling in front of me. My attraction is very much made known. From what I can see...he is in a rather similar situation. And to top it off, neither of us has gotten laid in at least a month. Has to be a record for him.

I'm waiting to wake up. Talk about a wet dream. But Brian is just staring up at me, the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement. This can't be happening.

When his hands smooth up my hips, I know exactly where those hands will find a home. And my dick aches and longs for the touch that is sure to come. But... "Thank-Thank you," I finally say. "I'm...fine now. Thank you." I back away, unsure of myself and what I'm doing.

My words seem to break the spell. Luckily. I was about to shoot just from the look he was giving me. But...can we really do this? I mean, we have to live together now. Why make things even more complicated by adding some sort of screwed up relationship? Even a sexual one.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just afraid of what could happen. What will inevitably happen. I spent a lot of time moving beyond Brian. Do I really want to take that giant leap backwards? Am I...thinking too much?

Brian and I take turns standing under the hissing spray of the waterfall and make sure to keep to opposite sides of the pool at all times. He seems to read my body language, which is screaming confusion, and kindly keeps his distance.

***

As soon as the boys walk away, I can't help but giggle like a schoolgirl with a secret. They are only SO obvious! And I tell Rory just that.

"What are you talking about?"

"Brian! Did you not see the way he jumped up and tried to look casual while he was chasing after Justin?"

"Cynthia, you are insane. You know that right?" Rory shakes her head at me. Such a non-believer. "He did not chase after Justin. If anything he's taking his role of protector way to seriously. I mean...I'm surprised he lets Justin relieve himself without his supervision."

"I'm sure he would help with that too, if he thought Justin would be into it."

"EWWW!"

I laugh. Rory is such an innocent sometimes. "If he was being overprotective, then why in the hell did he leave us alone with Neil?"

Rory looks around for a minute before frowning at me. "Where IS Neil?"

"Oh." Hmm...I haven't seen him all morning. Then again, I wasn't looking for him either. "I haven't a clue."

Rory looks worried. Probably more for the fact that Neil is probably off doing freaky satanic rituals in the woods or something, rather than any genuine concern for the man's well being. I know those are my worries. "Forget him," I insist. "He'll be back in time for dinner. I guaran-damn-tee it!"

She laughs at that. "Of course. None of the boys would miss a meal."

After a few minutes of silence, both of us still working on our tans, I begin to wonder what the boys are up to. By now they would have gotten to the path. In another thirty minutes they would be at the pond. After that...it was anybody's guess.

"How much do you want to bet that the boys will be late for dinner?" I ask, quite seriously.

"Late? You must be joking! Justin's stomach will drag both of them back as soon as he realizes it's close to time for food."

"Normally...I would agree. But I know my boss. He had that look in his eyes."

"What look?"

"His Big Bad Wolf look. The one that he gets when he's looking for trouble."

"Big Bad Wolf?"

I roll my eyes. Must I explain everything? "Basically him blowing a bunch of hot air...and in this case, simultaneously trying to find a back entrance to get to the little pig."

"You are too much, Cynth. I swear!" She says between giggles.

"So you still don't believe me?"

"Oh...I believe that you know what you're talking about with Brian. But Justin knows better. I'm sure nothing will happen."

"C'mon Rory. I was there the first time around. Those two were one each other like peanuts on butter. You don't just lose that kind of chemistry."

"Okay. Fine. Care to make a little wager then?"

Ohhhh...she sounds so smug about this. It's almost a shame that I'm going to have to let her make such a sucker's bet. "Alright. Name the stakes."

"If I'm right and Brian was just being the overprotective jackass that I've seen the past month, then I win. If they..."

"Fuck, Rory."

"Yes...if they...fuck, then you win."

"What's the prize?"

"What could possibly be so valuable as to be worthy of such a bet?" She thinks for a minute. "I've got it!"

"What?" I would actually be dreading this if I wasn't so damn sure I was going to win.

"Shampoo."

"Huh?"

"You heard me." That I did. But...shampoo is like liquid silver here. Soap and food both being gold.

"Rory...are you sure you want to make that big of a bet?" I'll be nice. Give her one more chance to back out.

"Sure. Not afraid you'll lose, are you?" She smirks at me and I suddenly have no problem whatsoever screwing her over on this one.

We reach out and shake hands, sealing the deal. Inwardly, I'm cackling like a hyena.

Chump.

***

After we dry off and dress, Brian starts to head away from the trail. "Where are you going?" I ask, figuring it's possible he's trying to blow me off.

He sighs, obviously annoyed with me. "Let's go this way," he indicates that we should follow the valley. "It has to lead to the shore. And by the angle, it will lead to the beach just beyond the original path. Let's just try it."

"Sure." I guess it will help to know a different way. Maybe it will even save us a few steps.

After ten minutes of walking in tense silence, we reach the beach. This part is covered in sand dunes that slope down from what eventually becomes the sides of the cliffs that form the valley. But the water is bright green and warm. As I near the water I notice that part of the beach jets out into the water. There's a sand bar there. You can actually walk about a quarter of a mile out and it never goes higher than your ankles. Brian laughs as I run back and forth across it, testing it out.

"Look! I'm walking on water!"

He grins for the first time in an hour and shakes his head. "Now if you can just work that mojo on some loaves and fishes..."

Hmmm, fish. That reminds me. "Speaking of... We need to try and find some more food before we head back. The last few pieces of fruit won't last much longer."

"Yes dear," he says sweetly, teasing me. "I'll just start a grocery list."

He's such a goof sometimes. But I must retaliate. No question. He cannot be allowed to mock me.

I crook my finger at him and hesitantly he inches closer. As soon as he gets close, I quickly bend over and cup my hands, scooping up the water and splashing it at him. I look up and see him standing with his eyes closed, water dripping down from his face and chest.

If every there was a perfect moment... Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. My breath catches in my chest as I become enthralled with following the trail of one drop as it kisses his left nipple, trickles lower across his abs, then lower still until the tiny droplet is absorbed by the waistband of his shorts. At the same time, my own shorts constrict noticeably.

He shakes his head and the water flies in all directions and instead of being mad or annoyed, he just chuckles. "You shit!" He goes to scoop up water to do the same to me, but instantly he notices the look on my face. Probably hard NOT to notice. I can just imagine the little lost, starving, flea-bitten puppy vibes I'm giving off about now.

He freezes and I say fuck it. Fuck the rationale. Fuck the what ifs and whys. Fuck...ME!

FUCK IT!

***

The trip to the plane is longer than I thought. I left at dawn, not quite surprised that my fellow castaways were still asleep. They probably stayed up pretty late, enjoying themselves.

I went to bed early as I have been doing for a while now. I just feel so tired all of the time. I really hate it. But I was also determined to get out and do something today so I needed all the rest I could get.

When I finally reach the plane, I have to stop myself from collapsing on the spot. It seems so unreal. That I survived. That ANY of us survived. It's a freaking miracle is what it is!

The nose of my baby is still firmly planted in the thick trunk of the tree and one of the wings is buried in the ground. It's making me feel a little sick but I have to see it for myself. Again. I have to know.

The first thing I check is the cockpit. Well, as much as I can get to with the injury and the crushed metal hindering me. I see nothing unusual, so I go to check the guts.

After nearly two hours of checking hoses and pipes and the engines, I finally hit the jackpot. Four or five of the lines...they had been punctured in several places. Not so much that it would be noticed on an inspection, but enough to gradually drain the entire plane of power and fuel. It would have given the plane just enough time to get in the air and out a good many miles. But definitely giving no hopes of a survivable landing.

I rub the heals of my hands against my eyes, hoping to stop the stinging from the dust that's flown up off of the plane. In the middle of the simple action, it hits me. Not that I'm slow...my brain just wanted to stay in denial a few more minutes.

"That SON of a BITCH!" I roar. He double crossed me! Of course he did! Had to get rid of the witness. Should have known not to trust that cocky bastard.

Jeez! I was no better than...some suicide pilot. It would conveniently get rid of all the nasty evidence that he was out to off Brian.

He USED me. He sabotaged MY plane and was relying on me going to some watery grave along with the others!

THAT is not cool! I have a problem with that! And if I ever get back...gorilla man is going DOWN!

***

FUCK IT!

What the hell do I have to lose at this point anyway? Right?

I look up into his deep hazel eyes and receive permission to do what we now both want. What we have to have. His look matches my own. The hunger and desperation rules now. Above common sense and worry.

I slowly move onto my knees and trail my fingers up his strong calves. He shivers a little when I pass the backs of his knees. That's always been a ticklish spot for him but I know better than to take advantage of that knowledge so I move on. I slide my hands under Brian's shorts to grip the backs of his thighs, which are thick and strong from many hours on the treadmill, stairmaster, leg press, and whatever other torture devices he uses to stay in shape. I sigh, thinking about those beautiful legs being wrapped around me.

So that I don't get TOO happy and lose it before we get to the good part, I try to focus on something else and rest my cheek against his stomach, inhaling his essence. He smells warm and...green - don't ask, it's an artist's thing I think. Either way, the smell is uniquely his. Ingrained into his skin. Contained within every cell of his body. And no amount of sweat or soap or dirt can erase or cover the sweet aroma. I can't hold back the sentimental smile that accompanies so many memories that are all tied to that particular scent.

Ah, but this is no time to get caught up in memories. Not here. Not now. Now it's finally okay to seize the day. Truly no regrets. No need for apologies.

My tongue snakes out and begins to trace the tracks that the salty water has left across his torso. I moan, tasting the flesh that is so familiar to me. It's like going home. Only...not, obviously. But it's as close as I can get, and I soak up the feeling as I gently nip at the tight skin of his stomach.

Brian's head is thrown back and he groans, voicing his appreciation of my actions. So why not take a chance? "Brian?" I whisper. The waves moving in and out around us muffles the quiet utterance and I speak up. "Brian?" He blinks and looks down at me, surprised that I've stopped. "I...uh...on the ground." Well! He DID say I just had to ask!

Faster than I can say fuck me, he's down beside me, pushing my onto my back and pinning me down. His hands are gently massaging my chest as he casually straddles my legs. I can think of no better restraints than this. Though he isn't really restraining me is he? How can he be when, every touch, every movement is setting me free, bit by bit?

Brian backs off long enough to rid himself of his clothing and then does the same to me, tossing the items towards the beach so that the water won't wash them away. How perfect would that be? Having to walk back to the house sans clothing? Oh the questions would definitely fly then! I can just see the shit-eating grin on Cynthia's face. And that disapproving but secretly thrilled smirk that Rory wears so well.

But I digress...

"Justin," Brian whispers. I feel this more than I hear it, as the water is covering my ears. But I open my eyes and stare up at him. He's wearing such a frown and I reach up to smooth the lines from his forehead. Something about the simple touch... He rushes forward, closing the small gap between us and claims my lips in a deep bruising kiss. Grounding our mouths together, trying to devour me. Sucking my soul out through my tongue. I return the kiss with just as much passion and exhilaration. I want him to have no doubts that I want him. That I need him as much as I need to breathe in my next lung full of oxygen.

When he finally breaks the kiss, he puts a minimal amount of space between us. Just enough so that our eyes can meet. His worries are as plain as the small flecks of green in his iris. "Are you sure?" His whisper fills my body, making my skin tingle from head to toe.

"Brian," I murmur. The sound echoes strongly in my head and in the water around me. "Do it."

He closes his eyes and nods almost imperceptibly. I know this is breaking SO many of his rules. It's breaking a lot of barriers too. Barriers that I know Brian would rather keep firm and erected. But...there are no convenient condom machines around here. What's a guy to do?

With the hesitation of a virginal boy, Brian sits back on his knees and strokes his cock - out of habit more than preparation - and looks worriedly at my twitching, aching, NEEDING-to-be-filled hole. Looks as though he's waiting for lighting to strike him down. I even glance at the sky, but there's not a cloud to be seen for miles. Perhaps he simply needs encouragement.

I lean up, gently but firmly take hold of his throbbing cock and stroke it ever so subtly towards me. He meets my hungry stare and I'm not sure what I see in his small smile. Embarrassment? Shyness? Whatever it is, it's not something I'm used to seeing. It's beautiful. To see behind that mask of impassiveness. He must sense my thoughts as he soon turns his face away.

"You...don't have to," I announce. Not sure where THAT came from. My dick is bitch slapping my brain for letting that slip out. But...it's only right. To give him this out. It's a big step no matter what the situation. I know about all of the fear and worry, for me and for himself, that has kept him donning the latex all these years. I can respect that.

But when he turns back towards me, his eyes are smoldering with lust and his trademark feral grin is in place. He growls deep in the back of his throat and launches himself at me, knocking me once again onto my back.

Heeeeeeeee's baaaaaaaaaack...

First thing's first. He spreads my legs and settles himself between them, like a man readying his altar for worship. With the water that gently laps against my ass serving as lubrication, Brian rubs three fingers around my hole, lightly putting just the right amount of pressure on it. In no time at all I'm a writhing mass of hypersensitive flesh and he is very much back in control of things. I feel the tip of his thumb slip in past the first ring of muscle and he begins to move the digit in wide circles, stretching my hole as best he can. I gasp with the brilliant sensations shooting up through my stomach, amazed that I'm still holding on.

Have I mentioned it's been over a month?

Before I know what's happening, Brian replaces his probing fingers with the head of his leaking cock and I moan loudly. I can just imagine him filling me up once again. After all this time. Filling that empty Brian-shaped space within me.

He spreads the generous amount of precum over my opening and leans over me, making one last check. "PLEASE!" I beg him with my eyes. "Just DO IT!" He leans in and flicks his tongue over my lips and I arch up to seal our mouths together. As soon as our tongues begin to playfully battle, Brian enters me in one smooth push and I cry out with the sweet glorious pain.

His lips find my neck and my hands rest lightly on his sides feeling the muscles bunch with each small unhurried motion as he smoothly continues to pump into me. His hips rolling, his back arching.

I rest my head back into the water and let myself float, feeling Brian move within me. His rhythm matching nature's own. The primal beat that thumps in time with the ocean as the waves break around us. And I sink into myself. Into Brian. Into the soft silky sand beneath me. Into heaven.

***

I think Cynthia and I thoroughly toasted ourselves today. It was nice though, getting to lie around so leisurely, after being stuck in a cave for so long. And I've never felt so relaxed in my life!

But after a couple of hours, we knew we would suffer for it if we stayed out any longer so we headed indoors to pursue our own pasttimes. She's taken to collecting seashells which are abundant here, so she's been trying to weave them into the braided vines. Not sure what for though. I suppose she has something in mind.

I took a quick nap since I was still so warm and nicely drained from the swim we took earlier.

Now, I'm working on digging out the small pit for our fire. We keep one fire going at all times, but it's further from the hut. This one is our nightly fire that we cook over, read by, dance around...whatever. All I have to do is take a branch and transfer fire from the first and add that to the pile of logs to begin the second fire.

Anyway, while I'm in the process of lighting the second fire, I notice Neil hobbling steadily towards me after emerging from the trees beside the hut.

"Where have you been?" I ask. I realize I have no real right to ask him, but...we're supposed to help one another. If he wants to stay here and be a part of this, he needs to BE here.

"Just needed to walk," he replies, looking angry and reserved all at once.

Right. That would translate into "none-of-your-fucking-business so-get-off-my-case-woman!". I just roll my eyes at his back and watch him go into the hut and into his room.

"Came back in time to eat though, didn't you!" I whisper smartly to the fire. I just don't get the man. Don't know that I want to get him. But if I did want to, I wouldn't be able to.

Um...yeah.

It's closer to sunset when Brian and Justin quietly saunter back up to the house. They pass out a few bottles of water and Brian stows the rest in the hut along with more fruit that they must have picked up on the way back, then rejoins Justin by the fire. Just in time to receive their ration for the night.

I sit across the fire from them and study the pair as they sit closely, their legs touching, but refuse to speak. They look a bit tired, but more alive than I've seen them in...well...EVER!

But...nooooooo... NO! No. Justin wouldn't... And Brian is smarter than...

Cynthia drops down beside me in the sand and hands me my portion. The smile on her face is mocking me. Evil cow!

"I'll have the payment to you by the end of the night," I say, admitting defeat.

She simply nods and we watch Brian and Justin sneak glances at one another. The attempts to cover their undisguised lust, feeble at best.

***

After everyone goes to bed, leaving Justin and me alone once again, I move off of the log I was sitting on and sit with my back against it. Justin is still sitting stiffly in the same place he's been for over two hours.

I know exactly what he's thinking. He thinks I'm so oblivious to others, but all in all, I just prefer not to deal with other people's issues. I have enough of my own without adding anyone else's to the mix. But right now, he's sitting there wondering what he should do. If he should move closer. If he should say anything about what happened. Should he say anything at all? Without a second thought, I turn and come up onto my knees. Justin looks down at me as I wrap my arms around his waist and put my head in his lap.

It's been a very interesting day. A very good day if a little unexpected. I mean, it's not as if I went along in hopes of seducing him. Okay...so maybe the thought had entered my mind. But we are two, very attractive, very sexually active gay men. It was bound to happen eventually. There was no way I was going to last without for much longer. And he was just as horny. Kinda hard not to notice our twin boners tenting the blankets every morning. Still...

"Don't...analyze anything Justin."

His fingers, which have been combing through my hair, move away. I look up to see him smiling down at me.

"What?"

"Why do you automatically assume I'm going to analyze everything?"

"Aren't you?"

"A little. But...how can you not?"

I shake my head. "Simple. You do it and you go on with life. Not another thought about it."

"So...you haven't thought about this afternoon once?"

Ha! Try twice. Times...like a thousand or so. "Maybe," I answer. "But that's not what I mean. You can think about IT. Just don't think about WHY it happened. HOW it happened. No analyzing motives and worrying over consequences."

"Was that your first time?"

I know what he's talking about. Wish I didn't. "Without a condom? No. I did it once or twice when I was really young and naive." He snorts at that. Yeah...guess it's hard to imagine me being naive. "But it was the first time in a long time." I pick my head up and look deeply into his eyes. He has to know how serious I am about this. "Justin, you do know that I never would have done that if I thought it would hurt you."

He nods solemnly. "I know. Me too."

I return his nod and lean in to nuzzle his neck with my nose. I feel his sigh, moving his chest and my head with it. A sigh of contentment, I think. "Want to talk?"

Talk? We talked for nearly four hours last night. About everything and nothing. About work and Gus and the family and other mutual friends and enemies. Even had a short discussion on his last boyfriend, who apparently had a problem with drugs. And booze. And boys. Sounded a little too familiar. But Justin had insisted that the guy was not just another Brian Kinney. He had actually MADE the promises of fidelity and monogamy and whatever else.

Anyway, I think I'm about talked out for the moment. And any discussion we have at this point will only end up coming back to what happened today. So...why bother getting into it?

"Let's just...sit here for a while."

He nods and again it moves my head. I feel his arms wrap around my shoulders and we just stay like that, holding one another, until my legs go numb and I have to change positions. So I pull him down onto the sand beside me and our fingers intertwine automatically.

As the inky water continues to advance and retreat on the beach, Justin puts his head on my shoulder and I can't hold back a small smile. "Justin?"

"Yeah?" he whispers.

I don't know why, but it does feel like a moment that is suited for whispering. So I lower my voice. "I'm glad, ya know?"

"Glad? For what?" I can tell he honestly doesn't know. Dammit! Doesn't he know he's supposed to read my mind? KNOW what I'm talking about even when I don't!

"I'm glad," I admit, "that you're here." He looks up at me, waiting for me to elaborate a bit. "If I have to be here - go through this - I'm glad it's with you."

Thankfully he doesn't make a scene over the admission. He just gives me one of his sweetest smiles - the ones his mouth saves for special occasions - and I smile back at him, before gently caressing his lips with my own. With another kiss to his forehead, we settle back down and watch the moon rise and reflect over the ocean.

***

This morning, I woke up in Brian's arms again. Only, this morning I rolled over and he was there, looking at me. Reaching for me, before I could reach for him. We made love quietly as the sun was rising and then made our way outside to begin the day.

Again, the four of us find ourselves on the beach. Cynthia and Rory side by side, giggling like mad women, and Brian and I close by, waiting for a new question from Cynthia.

"Um...okay, so you said NO Brian-and-Justin questions, right?"

"You can ask," Brian began. "But you won't make it to hear the answer."

"‘Nuff said, boss."

"Thought that might clear things up."

Rory begins to get irritated. "Cynthia, would you just think of a question and stop tormenting the guys?"

"Yes mother."

"Bite me!" Rory shoots back.

"Girls! Do I have to separate you two?" I'm the youngest of everyone here, but I still feel like I'm the only adult sometimes.

"Noooo..." Rory answers with another giggle. "Will you make her ask a question already! It's been like twenty minutes already!" No kidding. Cynthia should no longer be allowed to ask questions if you ask me. Although...it's not as if we have somewhere to be or anything.

"Okay! Okay, I've got one!" Cynthia announces. "This is for everyone."

"Yeah?" "Okay." "Just spit it out!"

"Okay," she breaks up into a fit of giggles. Another minute passes and when she can finally breath again, she sighs dramatically and finally asks, "If you were stranded on a desert island...what three cds could you NOT live without?"

To Be Continued...