"Justin," I whisper roughly. My throat hurts, but the pain is only noted as an afterthought. Almost as if I'm not really completely IN my body. It feels sort of like I'm floating, so I guess it's possible that I'm not in my body. But...that doesn't seem right.

I feel a hand on my forehead and I try to blink to clear my eyes. I want to see who is beside me. "Brian?" I sigh. It's only Justin. Good. He can take care of me.

"Hey...Shunshine..." I give him an awkward version of my best smile and reach up to rub his cheek. I need to feel him. And he feels soft and warm and heavenly as he always has. But...I need him to do something. What was that again? I cough and I can tell it's pretty deep in my chest. Oh yeah. "Shnushine? I think there's some cough med'cine in the...bathr'm. Could ya get it fr'me?"

"Shhh...Brian..." he shushes me gently and I can feel his fingers stroking my face. The contact feels so good but it sends a chill through my entire body and I begin to tremble. "Rory...'nother...blanket."

I can't make out what he's saying, but it would seem that he's talking to someone else. Jeez! Tell me he didn't bring one of his little freaky art school friends back to the loft! They're complete head cases, the lot of them. Sometimes it's a wonder that Justin is as normal as he is. "Get them...outta here."

"Brian try to rest," he suggests gently but firmly. He's my little nurse. When I get sick...that's the only time I'll voluntarily LET him be really affectionate and pampering. I obviously can't let him do it all the time or it would spoil him. And probably me. No. Best to leave it for the times when I'm going to be vulnerable and needing it anyway.

But...I had a point. Where the hell did I put it? Um...

I hear the voices again.

Oh yeah! That's it. "Don't want comp'ny. Get them out of my loft." I try to sound angry, or at least mildly pissed, but I can only hope that Justin will listen to me. I have no doubt that I'm at his mercy right now.

I wonder when I got sick. What was I doing last night? I can't remember. Maybe...Babylon? Hmmm. I got nothing. I'm drawing a blank and I'm too damn tired to really care about the whats and the wheres and the whys. "Jus...where's the med'cine?"

"Brian...we don't...we don't have any medicine." He sounds tired. Probably a little worried too. "We gave you the last of the Tylenol yesterday."

"Has to be more than Tyl'nol. Cough med'cine. In the cab'net under th'sink. In the b'throom."

"Okay," he relents. "I'll look for that. But I need you to get some rest now, k?"

I nod and move my head into his lap, snuggling close to him and soaking up all of the wonderful heat that he's putting off. I feel him tense, or maybe I tense, but after a moment I slip into a sweet dreamless sleep.

***

Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain!

Rain in the morning.

Rain at noon.

Rain in the evening.

Rain at night.

Mother nature is the worst kind of bitch sometimes!

It's been raining for four FUCKING days! It's like some freak storm that is going to keep us here until we die! Whether we die of boredom or starvation has yet to be determined, but I'd take bets on starvation. Ya know. Since NEIL ATE food that could have sustained us for days if need be! Not that I'm bitter. Or angry. Nope. I'm over it.

"Jus!"

I immediately turn my attention to Brian, who is calling out for Justin again. He's been doing this for two days now. From some of his rambling, it's pretty clear that he's hallucinating.

"Just'n?" Brian calls out a second time.

Not very surprisingly, Justin is sound asleep. He's been up for the past two days looking after Brian. As soon as he realized that Brian was getting well and truly sick, he turned into Florence Nightingale. And I thought Rory was gonna earn the award for volunteer nurse of the year. She has some pretty stiff competition in Justin now. He's been tending to Brian and making sure he has just enough blankets. He keeps the fire built up to a healthy size to keep us all warm and dry. He forces Brian to drink liquids as much as possible and then - the thing that's sure to clinch that award for him - he actually helps him to the bathroom. He even mushed up a little banana and fed him like a baby yesterday. That...was a sight I thought I would never ever see in my lifetime.

"Sushine..." he slurs, and begins to move around, restlessly.

I wish I could do something, but every time I've offered to help, Justin just shakes his head. It's not that he doesn't want or wouldn't appreciate the help. It's just that Brian's mind is in another place right now and he has blinders on to any of us but Justin. If I tried to get him to eat or drink, I'd likely come away wearing the food.

Justin finally wakes up when he feels Brian move. "Shhhhh..." he whispers and strokes Brian's forehead. "It's okay Brian. Go back to sleep."

Brian blinks up at Justin shakes his head slowly. "Toooo c-cold."

Justin looks up at the fire. "It's not going to get any warmer," I tell him. "If you build it up any more, you'll smoke us out." He nods at me and turns back to Brian, mulling something over in his mind. Finally he carefully pulls his t-shirt over his head, minding his broken arm, and tosses it away and then does the same with his pants, leaving only his thin boxers as protection against the cool air blowing in from the storm. "What exactly are you doing?"

He shrugs and pulls back the two blankets that are already covering Brian. He unbuttons Brian's shirt and pants and slides under the blankets with him. I look at Rory, who is snuggled up in her own blanket. She looks at the two men and then glances at me as well. "Body heat," she explains. Oh. Of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Just then, the wind blows into the cave and the fire flickers just a bit, but is soon back to the same hefty flame that it was before. We, however, have now been assaulted with the cold raindrops that were carried by the wind and I don't know about the others but I'm about to freeze my ass off. "Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna get nekid?"

She actually giggles and scoots closer to me. "Don't take this the wrong way Cynth, but...you're not my type."

I roll my eyes but lift my blanket so she can slide in beside me. She, in turn, layers her blanket on top of mine. With the added warmth, I sigh, finally able to relax a bit. Before long, with the incessant sound of rain all around us, I drift off to sleep.

***

I think I'm getting a rash. My arms keep itching and the harder I scratch them, the more they itch. And now, it's just starting to hurt.

I wonder if I'm allergic to these blankets. They're some sort of wool blend, so it's possible I guess. The grey pieces of crap. I'd sooner get warm if I pissed myself. They might as well be felt for all the warmth the scrap of what they insist on calling a blanket is providing me.

And where do they get off giving Brian like four?! I mean, sure he's a little sick. But so am I! My leg hurts and I have no way of moving around a lot so I can't get my blood flowing enough to warm myself up. See? I could use a few more blankets.

I look around at my cave-mates. They've paired up now. The blonde is cuddled up with the bastard. Nice and cozy.

The girls are even huddled together. Oh, in another time and another place...I could have seen those two women making me very very happy. As it is, I've gotten to know them enough that I can clearly see that they're both heartless bitches that hate all men - or at least all straight men. It's obvious.

I just can't wait for my leg to heal. As soon as it does, I'm going to find a way out of this place. Get myself the hell out of here and leave them to their bogus little island adventure.

***

I wake up again to the sound of crackling. And a few popping sounds every now and then too. What the hell is that sound? All we need now is snapping and I could just pass it off as cereal and go back to sleep. But as it is, the sound is now stuck in my head and no matter how much I try to ignore it, it just keeps echoing in my head.

Turning to my left side, I see the top of Justin's head. To the right however, I see flames. Bright orange, red, yellow, blue and white flickering flames, all dancing before my eyes. "Justin!"

"Wha? What's wrong?" I hear him answer.

"Fire! The loft, Jus...s'on fire!" I can't help it. I'm pretty sure I might be screaming. It's taking a lot of my energy, but I have to warn him. Have to get him out. Have to make sure he's safe.

"Brian...Brian, the loft isn't on fire."

I try to point my finger at the flames to prove that I'm telling the truth but my hands all floppy like a fish out of water. He has to get out! I can't let him die. "Don't die, Jus..." I whisper, squinting to make out the sparkling pair of blue eyes in front of me. "Don't die. You died too much a'ready." He died before. Playing...baseball? Um...dancing? I'm not sure. I just know that he died. I'd stake my life on it.

But maybe...maybe I'm dead too. Dead and this is my Hell. My own personal Hell where I'm forced to watch Justin engulfed in the fiery furnace but unable to do anything to stop it from happening. I cringe and whimper at the very idea.

"Shhh. You're only dreaming."

Dreaming? Nooo... Could I be dreaming? I guess I could be...but...it seems so real. "S-Sorry, Shunshine."

"It's okay," he says soothingly. And I know it is. Has to be okay. Because Justin said it was.

I nod and smile, at least I think I smile, as he snuggles back down against my chest, skin upon skin. The warm embrace comforts me in a way I can't remember feeling for a long time. It feels right. And sweet. And pure. And precious. Just like my Sunshine. I sigh and settle back into sleep.

***

I smile when I hear Justin whispering comforting words to Brian. Not two weeks ago, Justin would have sworn in any court in the country that he would rather spit on the man than look at him. He was just that insistent about the fact that he didn't care for Brian. As a human being much less a friend or lover. And even though I knew their history, I believed him. After all, I've had ex-boyfriends that I wouldn't mind seeing tarred and feathered. His scorn for the man didn't seem so out of place.

After seeing Brian Kinney for the first time during a meeting, I began to have my doubts. Oh, there wasn't a question in my mind about the fact that he was a jerk. He obviously resented the fact that he was having to work with Justin, even if Justin was one of the best in the business. With his snide remarks and arrogant attitude, he seemed about as cuddly as a cactus. But when Justin looked at him, he got this look...like he was trying to suppress this whole other side of himself.

I had never seen my boss get tongue tied in all the time I had known him, but Brian could do it with nothing but a simple look. I think the fact that Brian could get to him in such a way was the main reason that Justin doubled his defenses against the man. And his decision to actively give what he got from Brian only irritated the ad exec even more. Suddenly Cynthia and I became caught up in the biggest and most ridiculous battle of the exes ever witnessed. Like kids in junior high school, we passed phone messages like notes at lunch time. The men were acting like two catty queens and we could do nothing but stand back and watch. And laugh occasionally.

Cynthia was sure that this trip would bring them together. Since Brian would be relaxed once he had finished meeting with the big wigs of La Belle, he would be a little more open to spending time with his one-time lover. I was convinced that she was insane. Justin had only just gotten out of a long term relationship three months before. And besides, they seemed satisfied with contempt and disdain. But I was going to go along with her scheme, just as Ethel had always given into Lucy's wild ideas. No, shopping wasn't exactly the only thing on our agendas.

But now...now I can only sit back and look at the two of them, curled around one another. Two puzzle pieces that are obviously bound to be put back together sooner or later. True, Brian isn't exactly in his right mind at the moment, but in the back of his brain he knows what he's doing. Knows what he's saying. And his every movement is calling out for Justin.

"The MILK!" Brian suddenly screams.

Or not.

We all sit up in shock from the outburst. Justin's eyes have gone wide and he quickly checks on Brian, who is back to sleeping soundly. He looks up at us in an apology and shrugs. With the excitement over, we all relax back down into our warm palettes.

I watch Justin stroking Brian's shoulder absently, his good arm lodged under Brian's neck. Even if they're on the worst of terms, it's now beyond obvious that they still love one another on some level. And no matter how long we're here, they'll still have that. Hopefully.

I'm almost jealous of them. It seems a silly thought, being stuck on an island and all. One would think I could get past the fact that I'm single.

"Stupid blanket!" Neil growls just loudly enough to carry through the cave. I sit up a bit and watch him rubbing his blanket up and down his arms in a furious gesture.

Then again...maybe I'm better off being single.

Subtly, I slide closer to Cynthia and slightly farther away from the mad scratcher.

***

I wake up several times during the night, whenever Brian stirs or calls out for something. From everything he's been saying, I can tell he thinks he's in the loft. In the loft with me. And I can't even describe how such a small thing makes me feel.

To say it's stirring up some long forgotten feelings would be putting it mildly. It's not as if I forgot how much I cared for Brian. Okay, maybe I did a little. But...somewhere along the way, I completely forgot how much he used to care for me too. And how even the slightest kindness from him could make me melt into mush.

What I wouldn't give to be in that place with him right now.

He's sleeping pretty peacefully right now. Around early morning he started sweating so heavily that I thought the rain was flooding the cave. But I was happy to see him working through the fever that he's held for the past few days. I've been so worried about him. I mean...what if he didn't get better? What if he took a turn for the worst and this fever had turned serious. What would we do without him? That thought is absolutely horrific. The idea of losing ANYONE here is bad enough, but Brian...Brian would be the greatest loss I've ever suffered. I NEVER want to think about him leaving me like that. Even when I was away from him and was convinced that I hated him...I never wanted to see harm come to him.

As the worry is fading with his fever, I'm now itching to hit him. To call him an idiot for doing what he did. Instead of coming back in once it started raining, he kept walking. For nearly three hours, he stayed gone. And we...okay, I was worried sick. Right before I was about to go out and look for him, he came waltzing up with a small duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

He had gone back to the plane and had gotten us all clean clothes. Dry clothes for those that had gotten a little drenched. So we all changed in our own corners and settled in to wait out the rain. And then...the next day, Brian started coughing, the sound resonating from deep in his chest. His skin, which usually looked so healthy and bronzed, was turning pale and pasty. And then the next day, I realized his temperature was skyrocketing. That's when he started getting a little...delusional.

After that I did the only thing I could think of and I made my own trip to the plane. I found a small linen cupboard and grabbed all of the extra blankets I could find. I looked around for another first aid kit or at least some sort of pain reliever but I couldn't find anything else.

So for the next forty-eight or so hours, I played nurse maid to the man. And now, finally...thankfully, he's showing signs of improvement.

I yawn and rub the back of my neck, hoping the stiffness in it will go away. When I open my eyes again, it's to see Brian staring up at me.

"Hey," he whispers, clearing his throat lightly.

"Hi. How ya feeling?"

He closes his eyes as if assessing the condition of his body. "Hungry. Tired."

"Tired?" I laugh. What a joke! "You've been asleep for the better part of two days.

As I expected, he looked shocked. "Two days?"

"Yeah. You've been sick."

Brian rolls his eyes as if to say ‘well duh'. "Can you get me...some water? Maybe a little something to eat,...if we can spare it?"

I nod and help him sit up, then hand him a bottle of water and a banana. He seems so subdued that I have to sit back and watch him. Make sure that he's really getting back to normal.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" he asks me, only partially joking.

Yep. He's back to normal all right.

***

Yesterday, when I woke up, the first thing I saw what Justin. He was yawning and looking like shit, but it was one of the sweetest things I've seen in a long time. For a split second I actually let myself imagine that we were back in Pittsburgh and I was waking up beside him, just like I did once upon a time. The warmth I felt in that moment, is enough to keep me satisfied and happy for a while. I've missed that feeling, even if I never knew I missed it.

"So feeling better?" Rory asks me. How many times can they ask me the same question? We're in a fucking cave! It's not as if noise doesn't travel.

"Yes. For the fifteenth time - YES!"

She just smiles at me and glances back at Cynthia, who is working on braiding Rory's hair. "Good enough to maybe...go get some more food?" Cynthia asks.

"We have plenty of food. If the rain doesn't stop in the next few days, then I MIGHT go and find something."

Cynthia nods, satisfied with my answer. But Rory looks at me with amusement sparkling in her eyes. "Yeah. And besides, Justin would never let him go."

What does she mean by THAT? Justin wouldn't LET me go? Like I need his permission! "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Just what I said," she shrugs, keeping her head as still as possible so Cynthia doesn't mess up her braid. "He didn't spend two days cleaning up after you, keeping you warm, feeding you, and making sure you stay ALIVE, just so you can go off and get sick again."

He...did? I mean...I figured he must have helped...or something, but...

I look over at him to see he's still curled up against the wall, one small blanket covering him. He's been asleep since around the time I woke up. He all but passed out. And now I know why. The little shit actually stayed up, or I kept him up. Either way, he made sure I'd be okay.

I smile, softening considerably towards my ex. Damn him for always making me care.

Silently, I take one of the blankets that covers me and crawl over to Justin, draping the material over his lower body. His feet are always colder than any other part of his body.

Feeling the extra warmth, he blinks and looks up at me sleepily. Then he smiles. It's only a small curl of his lips, but it's genuine. I run my fingers along his strong bearded jaw and smile back. Reading my thank you for what it is, he nods and I leave him to catch up on his sleep.

I can't keep the smile off my face as I settle back down beside the girls and they look at me knowingly. I ignore them and watch Justin sleep from across the way.

To Be Continued...