I've been awake for around an hour. As usual, when I wake up early, Justin seems to want to sleep in. I watch him for a while, smiling whenever he starts to snore. He catches himself and snorts softly instead right before returning to breathing normally. He also rolls from his right side to his left side and back again in pretty regular ten minute patterns. I bet he'd make an interesting sleep pattern study.

Again he snorts, only this time the sound is loud enough to wake him up. "Hmm." He grunts as he blinks his eyes lazily.

I grin broadly down at him. "Morning gorgeous."

"Mmmmrrrrrm." He frowns deeply and rolls onto his side away from me, obviously attempting to freeze me out so that he can go back to sleep.

But I'm bored. He needs to wake his ass up.

I lean closer to him until my chest is against his back, run my fingers lightly over his arm and continue onto his hip. Then I flatten my hand against his skin and move to rub his stomach.

Before my hand can reach the final destination, he rolls onto his back. "Brian," he huffs sleepily. "What're you doing?"

I run my hand down his chest and stomach and give him a soft laugh. "I would have thought it was obvious."

"Mmmrrrr. Mrrrr!" He mumbles, though not in pleasure. He swats me away and rolls onto his stomach.

"Justin!" I whine. Yeah - It has actually come to that.

"Brian!" he echos.

"Come on. I'm bored."

"So go swim. Go...for a run."

I lean over him, letting my lips brush his exposed ear. "But I want to play," I murmur. I take his lack of response as a good sign and press against him a bit more. "Don't you want to play? Hmm?"

But it's a lost cause. He only mumbles once more and turns his head away, asleep once again.

***

"Brian? What's up?"

Brian pauses, arches an eyebrow and shrugs. "Not much apparently," then continues on towards the water.

Guess he didn't get any this morning. At least he isn't being bitchy like he used to be. "The unfucked Brian Kinney is an unmanageable Brian Kinney." That used to be a regular saying at the office. Poor guy.

What the hell am I talking about? ‘Poor guy!' HA! I haven't gotten laid in...well a freakin long time!

I follow Brian's movements as he walks right into the water and once it's up to his waist he dives under. As he is going in, Rory is making her way out of the small lapping waves. She smooths her damp hair back and leans her head from one side to another, shaking the water out of her ears.

Moving up the beach and back towards the house, I see the problem as soon as she gets closer. Guess she'll actually have to talk to me now.

"Um...nice swim?"

She smiles tightly. "Mm-hm," Is all I get. "I'm going for a run."

Okay so maybe she doesn't have to talk.

I don't know what the hell has happened between us. We used to be such good friends. Now things are just...weird!

I woke up this morning and, as usual, Rory was already awake. Only this time she wasn't being her usual, chipper, get-up and go self. She was simply stretched out on her side, head on her hand, and staring down at me like she had just heard one of us had cancer and wouldn't live out the week. My heart broke when I saw the look of sad confusion.

I had asked her what was wrong and it seemed to startle her. Apparently she hadn't realized that I was awake. She just shook her head and tried to smile, but I saw through that.

I just wish she would tell me what's wrong. I'm just kind of...well, I'm fucking afraid of what it might be! I mean, did I do something wrong? Does she know something I don't know? I haven't looked in a mirror in a while. Maybe...with all this sun...maybe my skin is horribly damaged and she's afraid to tell me.

On the other hand, maybe she's feeling the same thing I am. Like the dynamic of our friendship has changed. Only there's no describing what it is now. It's like I can't act the way I used to around her. I feel like I'm trying to be more careful with her. Maybe she's feeling the same way.

God, I don't know! This is just stupid!

Taking a page from Brian's book of frustration, I stand up and stomp down to the water, forcing myself not to glance down the beach towards where Rory would be running.

***

Today's the day. Today is the fucking day! YES!

I woke up extra early this morning. Even Rory wasn't out and about yet, which surprised me. But then again, she's been acting weird lately. Really I guess they all have, which is why we need to get the hell off this death trap of an island. I can only see the mental capacity of the fellow castaways declining as time goes on.

Definitely a good thing that the raft is finished!

It's taken me a few weeks, but I've finally done it! They can all kiss my tanned ass if this works.

I make my way through the well-traveled path that I've been using for the past couple of weeks. It winds up and over the hill that eventually tapers into the left side of the land surrounding the lagoon. My mission today is to sail it from the beach it's on now to the lagoon. If it makes that trip - probably half a mile - without a hitch then we'll shoot for a final launch within the week!

Dammit! I need rope. And...probably some type of oar would help too. Totally forgot that. Well, I can't be expected to remember EVERYthing, can I? Half-way there and I have to turn back.

I really miss my car.

"What are you doing?" asks Brian, who's standing in front of me, dripping wet. He crosses his arms and look skeptically at the woven rope and long piece of wood that was once a piece of my wall.

I shrug as best I can with the heavy objects on my shoulders. "Going for a nature hike."

"Uh-huh." He won't move and he's blocking the path. This is really annoying. Does he know how annoying he's being right now?

"Look...the raft is finished, okay?"

His surprise gives me a little smug satisfaction. They didn't give me enough credit. Obviously he didn't expect it to be finished so soon. Probably didn't expect it to be finished at all.

"I figured you would just sail off without mentioning the fact."

Or that.

"Well you can rest assured, I won't." Believe it or not, I do still have a conscience. Yeah, okay so it's a small one, but... "I'm just moving it to the house, so I can test it and make a few final adjustments. Though I doubt that it will need many."

"Oh." He seems to be thinking. Please don't. Don't think. It's only gonna slow me down, I can feel it. "I'll come with you."

DAMMIT!

"Really. It isn't necessary."

"No, I think it is. Not only do I not completely trust you to just sail off without us, I also think it would be better for you if there's a second person. What if...the tide is too strong? What if you hurt yourself?"

"You can enjoy a me-free island?"

He only gives me a dirty look.

DAMMIT!

"Fine! Just...come on already. We're wasting time."

"You have a date to get back to?"

I roll my eyes. WHY oh why did I have to turn back? I should have just sailed off... Should have just left...

***

I have to say, I was pretty sure that the thing would be a piece of shit. But I'm surprised and yes...even impressed by the raft that Neil's managed to put together. I admit, I was expecting to see a pile of twigs strapped together with rope. Instead it's a well-constructed square-bowl shape that looks to be made from smaller halves of trees.

It is strapped together with rope that the rest of us made. It's the only thing Neil would let us do - weave rope. I guess he figured we'd only get in the way of the bigger jobs. Fine with me. Obviously he's done just fine on his own.

I give him a sideways glance and fight a smile when I realize he's trying hard not to be waiting for my opinion. He looks quite a bit like a little boy waiting for approval. I've seen that look several times from Gus.

Gus.

Home.

"So what do we do first?"

"Uh...well, the ideal plan would be to get it down to the water."

"Well let's go." I rub my hands together and prepare to heave-ho.

"Right. On three. One. Two..."

Together, "Three."

***

I love swimming in the ocean. The lagoon is great for cooling off but...nothing compares to being out in the open waters.

I paddle through a small wave and then dive through a larger one. The feeling of pushing through the water never fails to excite me.

Growing up in Pittsburgh, I never really had a chance to swim. My best friend, Daphne and I both had pools and I've always been a strong swimmer, but I never really had a lot of experience with the ocean. It's one of the few things I've come to appreciate about being here.

Once I get past the break, I stop swimming and look back towards shore. This is probably the farthest out I've ever been. It's a little scary, especially when I look towards the horizon. With nothing else in my peripheral beyond the ocean and sky, it's easy to imagine that I'm floating in the middle of the vast sea, all alone. The idea takes my breath away. But at the same time, it makes me feel kind of...light. Free, I guess.

I tread water for as long as I can manage, then finally, regretfully, I have to turn back towards the beach.

"JUSTIN?"

I stop short mid-stroke and look around. I though I heard Brian, but that can't be right. The waves break and I look towards the beach. No Brian. I must be hearing things.

"JUSTIN!"

I pause again. This time I see a pair of heads just over the tops of the waves. I stretch and finally see Brian and Neil!

What the hell are they doing?

Then I see that they're floating on something. Neil must have... HOLY SHIT he's finished the raft! The raft! Our ticket home!

I double my efforts, swimming full out towards the beach. I run through the surf and continue as fast as my legs will carry me to the house.

"Rory! Cynthia! It's Brian and Neil!"

"What is it?"

"What's wrong?" The girls both perk up, alarmed by my screams. I try to tell them not to be panicked, but it's difficult to do with very little oxygen. I bend over, with my hands on my knees and try to breath.

"They're bringing...the raft!" I spit out breathlessly. Finally, I just point towards the opening between the rocks that lead from the ocean to the lagoon.

There they are. Neil is on his knees, paddling with what looks like an oar and Brian... Oh boy. Brian is standing in the middle of the platform, waving. He's shirtless, which I'm used to. But now...with his shorts slung low on his hips, his bronzed bare chest and tight stomach tightening with his movements and attempts to stay balanced... I'm transfixed.

Finally, when they're close enough to shore, Brian swings a rope and tosses it to us. We manage to pull the raft the rest of the way as Brian and Neil jump off and wade in.

I can't believe how great a job Neil did on this thing. It's unbelievable. I even tell him so. And I do it without choking once. Go me.

"Yeah man," Brian says in agreement. "I have to admit, it's...pretty damn good."

Neil doesn't seem to know what to do with the praise but he does accept Brian's handshake which surprises pretty much all of us. Even him.

"So... When do we leave?" I ask above Cynthia and Rory's congratulatory chants.

All I receive in response are silently apprehensive stares.

To Be Continued in Part 14