Premature Ejection Part 2

This is some crazy shit, huh??Anyways, you and I are not going to talk anymore? Dance with whoever the hell you like, no problem, just pretend you don't know me? Then in one hour [at 1.30pm] you are going to go downstairs to the bar, get a pen, write your number and give it to me?" I nod conspiratorially, then wander off in the direction of a mass of permed hair flying in all directions over near the staircase and stand, tapping my feet and bouncing in a very discreet fashion, behind her. Wait, here's the man with the word on the street headed my way again. What's he doing? Is he crazy? He shouldn't be coming near me!! I try to ignore him. "Leave, leave now!" he whispers. "Don't ask why, just go!? My bosses don't want you here - you're in danger? I'll meet you outside in a while? Bye." What a guy! Risking it all to save my hide and securing my expulsion from the bar at the same time! I wait outside, beer in hand beside Circle K, to thank him for his kindness in providing me with the early release I'd come for. Oddly enough, time passes [it's now 2.30pm] and the Asahi cans pile higher on the seat of the scooter beside me. Still, he doesn't emerge. Wait! Was I just royally duped? Was all this just a gesture of bad will on the part of my fellow foreigner? I scour the depths of my soul; I question his motives, my sanity, and my friends' past experiences in this particular place. I examine and cross-examine my own behaviour that day and also the distinct possibility that all of this was a just a dream I had as I leant, passed out, against a dance club wall. Should I have stayed or should I have gone? While the thought of faking PE sickens me, I have given all of this much sober thought. I've come to the conclusion that my response to the situation was the smartest one under the circumstances. I was about to leave anyway and to stay would have been to call a complete stranger/stranger's bluff. Either way, I wasn't going to win a free Mercedes for myself by pushing the issue. I was ejected and that's all that matters ?till next weekend! While poor degenerates like me are lost to the world already and must learn to live with PE - you, my brothers and sisters in bottle and bar stool, have a choice. Measures can be taken to avoid contracting this tragic and ever-so contagious disease. Metaphor-conscious readers be warned that space is limited in a city like Taipei and there is an element out there unwilling to allow people with big noses to shuttle in and out as they please! They may launch concerted attempts to remove the likes of you and I from their presence without warning and for no apparent reason! An Australian friend of mine was removed from one site in Hsimenting [seemingly] for dancing with a foreign girl! Going into some places and talking to Chinese girls is like putting a match next to rocket fuel. As you may or may not have noticed, the tone of this town has been changing ever so slightly. The betel nut girls are back and other elements are becoming more and more visible. It may not be the safe and cosy little neighbourhood it used to be just one or two years ago. I witnessed 10-20 guys kicking a man while he lay unconscious on Chung Hsiao East Road, Section 4 last Friday [03/11/00] night at around 10pm. Some 40-50 spectators [myself included, though I was only present for the ugly finale] watched as they dropped a big aluminium garbage can on his head. He wasn't moving. This may be an isolated incident, but be careful. This sure isn't Kansas Toto. Ray Silky.

Our super star reporter -- Ray Silky

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