Gratitude and Joy - Note by Debbie
I have had a lot of time on my hands literally since April. Most of it was spent on my own private pity party wondering why I was being given this gift of time to do nothing but reflect on how bad things were because I had broken my leg, had to stay in bed for a month and then got complications from my surgery. I kept thinking if there was only a message - something that could make all this time that I could not do anything for myself worthwhile I would understand and be better able to accept things that I could not change. There was no joy or gratitude in my life.
I got an updated note from someone special to me in ChronniesChat giving me an update on what he has been going thru and it sounded like he was doing great. Then I received another note from him that things were not great and that he had to be hospitalized. I wondered why all of us - good people - are undertreated for pain, had to have surgery, were going thru bad times in our lives. What has helped me tremendously was a change of attitude. I decided to look for little tiny things in my day that made me grateful or brought me joy. When I mean little, I am ashamed to admit I had to start with Jerry Springer and his TV show and Thank God that I was not on it as a part of the show. I know it sounds stupid but I had to start somewhere, I started getting up a little earlier to hear the birds, which where I live you can't hear during the day and that is one of my favorite sounds. I counted my blessings, even if they were 5 and pretty soon I was up to 10.
I guess what I am trying to say is what changed me was the little things that made me happy to be who I was, and where I was and being content and not frustrated. Trusting that things were working out somewhere in the universe to help me be better equipped to help me with what was going to come my way. I make sure now not to discount the little miracles that happen everyday that I used to overlook and it has helped me so much. I cut myself slack and make realistic goals and I am very grateful for all of you and the sharing that goes on between us, the notes, the group and the board. We are all very lucky to have in our lives the people who make the things we take for granted, the board, the chatroom (no matter where it is) and the little notes that you share with me about yourselves. You help me see that I am not a victim, but can be a valuable part of a community that shares their ups and downs and is very supportive publicly and privately with each other. You are all on my gratitude list and bring me such joy! Thank you every day.
Thought till next time: Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is Love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. She/He who gives most gives with joy - Mother Teresa
Coffee - Submitted by Cindy:
A young women went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. She ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled , as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "what does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. " when adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle Adversity?
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?
Happy Birthday to the following July Babies:
03 – Razzle
04 - Jenn VP
09 – Rach88_MI - Rach
10 - Anna
11 – Sherry ----- Scary_Sherry
13 – Gruppy – Lee Ann
14 – NorthernStar77 – Jenn
15 – Harriet – Queeny15
26 – Dave – Mappy
26 – Rachel – RickyPuppy
28 – Jackie – BusyBuddy
Because we respect the privacy of our friends and we do not appreciate getting “spammed”, we do not give out e-mail addresses unless specifically asked to do so. Please stop by our message board to post your birthday wishes! And a note to you birthday people! Don't forget to check the message board to get all your well-wishes soon - birthday posts are removed after one month in order to conserve space!
REMINDERS: We are still taking tips for our webpage on how you cope with crohns disease, please submit them to Debbie - debbie12564@yahoo.com If you are not sure what you can contribute, go to the website and take a look at what we have.
TOM'S RECOMMENDED LINKS:
Medication Web Site
*** to look up meds with only the inscription on the pill, click on RXLIST ADVANCED SEARCH, then scroll to: RxList-ID Imprint Code Identification. Type in the numbers and or letters that are on your medication. Do not put the company name down. Then click search. This will pull up any meds that have those numbers. Then you have to find it by reading the description of the cap/pill. When you locate the correct medication, click and highlight the name, right click, copy. Click on your back browser button. Scroll up to, Search The RxList Drug Database:. Right click and paste the drug name in the search box. Click search and it will take you to the drug information. Thanks to Rochelle!
Here
is a great site for anyone new or still not very good at using a computer.
It's a FREE site, designed to help newbies learn more about the proper way to
operate a PC :http://www.newbieclub.com
For those thinking about donating money or things to any charity look over this site!! http://www.give.org
Crohns Site - The IBD Support Message Board -
http://members4.boardhost.com/nikkigosling/index.html?1007264101 an excellent source of community and support.
Dealing With Pain - reprinted with permission of Purdue Pharma LP
Carolyn C. has chronic pain from rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She was forced to leave her job as a social worker at age 28 by her arthritis pain; she is now 55 years old. She does have good days, when she can get to the dry cleaners, make meals and go about her other household chores. But, on a bad day, Carolyn crawls into her “cocoon” of blankets and waits for the pain to subside.
Planning life around chronic pain can be difficult at best. Carolyn says she has to decide early in the day what she thinks she can get done and how much rest she’ll need along the way. But as a member of a local chapter of the American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA), Carolyn has support from other people with chronic pain. Her group meets the first and third Tuesdays of each month in a local church.
At local ACPA meetings across the country, people with a variety of painful chronic conditions meet to talk about feelings and relationships with family and friends. Rather than dwell on how bad their pain can be, members focus on constructive ways to deal with the pain in every day life. Following ACPA guidelines, members observe strict confidentiality about meeting discussions, a practice they believe is important to safeguard the trust developed within the group.
According to the ACPA, chronic pain disables, to some degree, approximately 86 million Americans. The Association believes that while chronic pain may make sufferers feel like patients, there is a person inside waiting to move on with life. But making the journey “from patient to person” takes time and can’t be done all at once. The ACPA offers the following “10 Steps from Patient to Person:”
Accept the pain: Learn all you can about your physical condition. Understand that there might be no current cure and accept that you will need to deal with the fact of pain in your life.
Get involved: Take an active role in your own recovery. Follow your doctor’s advice and ask what you can do to move from a passive role into one of partnership in your own health care.
Learn to set priorities: Look beyond your pain to the things that are important in your life. List the things that you would like to do. Setting priorities can help you find a starting point to lead you back into a more active life.
Set realistic goals: Set goals that are within your power to accomplish or break a larger goal down into manageable steps. And take time to enjoy your successes.
Know your basic rights: We all have basic rights. Among these are the right to be treated with respect, to say no without guilt, to do less than humanly possible, to make mistakes and to not need to justify your decisions, with words or pain.
Recognize emotions: Our bodies and minds are one. Emotions directly affect physical well being. By acknowledging and dealing with your feelings, you can reduce stress and decrease the pain you feel.
Learn to relax: Pain increases in times of stress. Relaxation exercises are one way of reclaiming control of your body. Deep breathing, visualization and other relaxation techniques can help you better manage the pain you live with.
Exercise: Most people with chronic pain fear exercise. But unused muscles feel more pain than toned, flexible ones. With your doctor, identify a modest exercise program that you can do safely. As you build strength, your pain can decrease. You’ll feel better about yourself, too.
See the total picture: As you learn to set priorities, reach goals, assert your basic rights, deal with your feelings, relax, and regain control of your body, you will see that pain does not need to be the center of your life. You can choose to focus on your abilities, not your disabilities. You will grow stronger in your belief that you can live a normal life in spite of chronic pain.
Reach out. It is estimated that one person in three suffers with some form of chronic pain. Once you have begun to find ways to manage your chronic pain problem, reach out and share what you know. Living with chronic pain is an ongoing learning experience. We all support and learn from each other.” (Kirby K. Dealing with pain. The Star Press. April 17, 2001. Available at http://www.thestarpress.com/lifestyles/01/apr/0416paingrouplifs.html)
For more information on ACPA, click here to go to the Links/Support Group section of this website, then click on the link to the American Chronic Pain Association.
ChronniesChatter of the Month -
It is with GUSTO that we announce Sheryl K. as our chatter of the month of July. Sheryl is always ready to help her fellow Chronnie whether it be with a kind word, a quick hello (and I do mean quick)to the newcomer or oldtimer at a chat, or posting helpful supportive advice on the Messageboard. She is thoughtful and considerate of other people's feelings and opinions. She is a pleasure to know and Thank You Sheryl for all your help. You can read more about Sheryl on Page 2 of the "Getting to Know You" Forum.
Catching Up With - Aimee Claire:
All my life I had the gift of storytelling. Four years prior to my daughter being diagnosed, I was writing a spirituality column and a recipe column for two magazines. I freelanced articles to various magazines and newspapers ranging from parenting perspectives to religion. I never considered writing about IBD until my middle daughter became ill. It was only then when I came to a decision. I didn't need a medical degree to educate people about this disease. I certainly was qualified to offer help to those in similar situations.
Two years ago I began to interview over 100 IBD patients along with their friends and relatives. My ultimate goal was to write a guide of sorts that specifically catered to family and friends of someone with IBD. So often, there is a lack of true understanding between someone with IBD and the people around them. Last summer my project was completed and accepted by a publisher and I'm proud to say will be due out this year (hopefully by fall). My ultimate hope is that my book "Over the Rainbow--Healing & Support for Family and Friends of someone with Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis" can be shared by an IBD patient and their loved ones and bridge together a stronger sense of understanding to what the IBD world encompasses.
Here is a blurb from Aimee's Book - "Over the Rainbow---Healing & Support for Family & Friends of someone with Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis"
Did you
ever wish your family or friends can read just one book that explains all that
you go through when dealing with your Crohn's and Colitis?
This easy to approach guide, written specifically for
family and friends of someone who has Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis, may
be just the book you have been waiting for!
Not only does it explain the many intricate specifics of
these diseases in a very understandable way, it touches upon the real
non-clinical issues many patients and their loved ones have to deal with on a
daily bases. In addition to being informative, this book is gives the
readers hope and courage in overcoming the many struggles these diseases
present. It's a smaller sized book, so that it's not overly technical or
tiresome to read. Due out Summer/Fall 2002, this is a perfect book for any
IBD patient to have on hand to share with their loved ones!
Please contact debbie12564@yahoo.com if you would like to know more about this book.
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