home \ writings \ art \ quotes \ links \ pictures \ InfoCity



The Deli Files

by Susie

The Deli Files

I work in the deli of a whole foods grocery in a fairly upper class neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio. The name of the store isn't really that important, although it might be plastered elsewhere on my site. I don't know if you've ever worked in a deli--I never had before this job. It's not exactly the most glorious job in the world. There are great points to the deli--getting to make your own lunches, getting to sample (or "sample") the salads, helping customers, but from behind a very nice barrier that is the deli case, the people I work with, etc etc. There are also, however, some really not great points about the deli. Really, really not great. Bordering on, well, terrible.

The Salad Bar of Doom

I hate the salad bar. Sometimes doing the salad bar at the end of the night is nice, because you kind of have a license to ignore everything going on behind the counter. When you want people to leave you the fuck alone, you go do the salad bar. Customers are what make the salad bar hell. Firstly, even with an upper tier customer base, a grown person can't seem to go through the salad bar without the result looking like a five year old was turned loose upon it. I especially hate the carrots, cheeses (especially parmesan), and grains. Also, five minutes to closing seems to be the time that everyone wants to raid the salad bar. I'm sorry, but we do have to close it down at some point during the night. By that time, we've already done all of our cleaning and restocking, and we don't want your grubby mitts all in our salad bar. One night, it was about two minutes until close, and a customer made me get her some tongs so she could go through the salad bar that she could see had no utensils and was ready for the next day. Pushy bitch.

The stocking situation for the salad bar is a bit of a bitch, as well. The prep list at the beginning of the evening shift usually consists of question marks, since we have no idea if we have anything in stock. Many times it takes a creative stretch of the imagination just to get the damned thing full. Sometimes it takes empty bins.

The Deli Case & Allergies

This thing is a bear to take out and clean every night, but understandably. Everything has to be pulled and wrapped up. The case has to be wiped down, and a section of it has to be pulled daily for good cleaning. This is all understandable--and necessary, even, except for the gargantuan waste of plastic wrap.

The problems are mostly the customers.

Small complaints with the actual deli crew--too lazy to find the right signs to go in, no PLU numbers on the sign. Easy to deal with. Customers. *Shudders*

I had a lady come in last night who wanted some asparagus, which was right next to a gingered beet salad.. "Could you take the asparagus from the front? There's some beet mixed in, and I don't think I can have the beet."

This set off alarm bells in my head.

"Is this like, an allergy thing?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, I'm going to strongly recommend that you don't get them, because I don't know how contaminated they might be."

"Well, the ones in the front look okay."

I served her the asparagus. She gave me this condescending little look and said, "Now you see how important it is not to mix them, don't you?"

Okay. Come on, now. First of all, if something falls off the edge of my spoon, I'm not going to throw out a whole batch of beets or asparagus. Secondly, if you're that damned allergic to something, then why, out of an entire case full of delicious (or supposedly) food, did you choose the one thing that's right next to the thing you're allergic to? (The other thing she got was the item right in FRONT of the beets. Nothing else.) And why couldn't you hop over to the produce department and buy some damned asparagus and cook it yourself, if you're that allergic? That's laziness coupled with stupidity at its best. I'm happy to serve you from the other side if you think its safe. But don't you dare give me any snippy little remarks when you're the idiot, not I.

I had a similar experience one night working the salad bar. A lady told me that we should make sure everything is labeled, especially the grain and rice mixed salads we had out. She has food allergies, and it's important for her to know what's in things. Considering the level of cross-contamination in a salad bar, if I had allergies that badly, I wouldn't go near it if I thought I might be allergic to anything on the bar. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I make too much sense.

I also hate it when customers want you to unwrap things at ten till close when it's obvious you're tearing the case down, cleaning, and getting ready to close up shop. I personally think that if you want something you can't pick up off of a shelf that's all ready to go, you should get your ass to the store at least half an hour before they're set to close up shop--or close up whatever department you want. Common courtesy. Sure, every now and again there might be an emergency, or maybe you don't get out of work that early--but a lot of it, I think, is pure laziness. Be considerate of your deli worker! If something's wrapped up for the night, come back and get it tomorrow!

Over-samplers and dawdlers irritate me, too. We have other customers. We don't really have time to let you sample every salad in the case, nor do we have an hour for you to make up your mind. If you're still making up your mind, tell us so. Let us go wait on other customers. And let us know when you're ready. If you're standing there staring blankly, we don't know that you're ready. "Miss/Sir, I'm ready when you have a moment," is a much more efficient way of letting us know you're ready. I'm not a goddamned mind-reader, I'm just a deli drone. Also, don't hover around the case for half an hour and then not buy anything--or, if you're going to, tell us you're just looking and that you'll let us know when you're ready. Also, see above point.

Meat and Cheese

When I go to break down the slicers around 8.30 (or 7.30 on a Saturday), I turn off the lights to the deli case with the meat and cheese. It's very evident that the slicers are broken down, and that I'm scrubbing the hell out of them. They're done for the day. They've worked hard. The chico in the dish room has probably already cleaned the other components. Don't make me get them back out and put them back together so that you can have a half pound of turkey at a quarter till close. That's not nice.

Pizza

IF THE PIZZA TASTED LIKE CARDBOARD LAST TIME, DON'T BUY IT AGAIN! NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE A DISCOUNT IF THE PIZZA IS ONLY AN HOUR OLD! NO, WE WILL NOT MAKE YOU A FRESH ONE AT A QUARTER TIL CLOSE! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!