They say that girl, you know she act too tough... Well, it's 'til I turn off the light..
They say that girl, you know she act too rough... well, it's 'til I turn off the light
And I say follow me down, 'till you see all my dreams... not everything in this world is as it seems.
I'm searching for things I just can't see- why don't you come and be with me?
("Turn off the light", Nelly Furtado)
He could think of nearly nothing but her, and was forever anticipating her next phone call. When he was with her everything was fine, though they said little to each other- communicating simply through lustful looks and breathless moans. But everytime he'd leave... he couldn't help but feel guilty. There still seemed to be something so wrong about it- simply using her for sex, thought she seemed completely content with the arrangement. He knew virtually nothing about her, other than she could use her body to make his respond to her in ways he'd only dreamed of.
But it bothered him that everytime they'd get together, their rendezvous ended the same way- she'd kiss him, crawl out of bed (or wherever they'd happened to end up) and get dressed, sending him on his way immediately after they'd had sex. No cuddling, no affectionate words- and up until he didn't have them, he'd never realized how much he liked those things.
~~~~~
"So does that mean you're finally settling down a little?" Kirsten asked, after Brandie told her she'd been with only Nick for the past month, while they were working on cleaning up the bar after the club closed.
"Settle down? Me? What?" Brandie looked at Kirsten incredulously.
Kirsten sighed, "One can hope. But really B- one guy for an entire month? I think that's a record for you... You must like him."
Brandie continued mopping around the barstools, "Yeah, I really like his cock."
Kirsten bit her lip and kept wiping down the bar. She stayed quiet for a moment, but then said, "I just don't get you. I've watched you do this for so long, and I still don't understand."
Brandie dunked the mop back in the bucket and asked what there was to not comprehend.
"How you can just... just use someone and seemingly not care anything about them."
Brandie hopped up on the edge of the bar and began swinging her feet back and forth. "It's not like he isn't getting anything out of it... if he didn't enjoy it- he wouldn't keep coming back."
~~~~
"Man, if you feel so bad, why do you keep going back?" 'AJ asked, after listening to Nick complain about his situation on the phone.
"Because I know if I'm there, someone else isn't." Nick replied.
"What?"
"If I'm with her, some other guy isn't, Y'know?"
"Ohhhh... so what exactly is going on here? You like her, or what?" AJ asked.
"I don't know... I don't know anything about her. I'd like to get to actually know her- like as a person, with her clothes on- not just as ... I don't even know what she is.. I can't really call her a fuck-buddy because I don't even know her well enough to really consider her a friend.." Nick's voice trailed off as he spoke, as he wondered why he was doing this. He wasn't really comfortable with it- sure, he enjoyed sex with her- he'd have to be crazy not to, but what would be wrong with getting to know her more?
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know.. wait and see if she ever gives me a chance to actually talk to her?"
~~~~~
Nick rolled over to pick the phone up, wondering who the hell was calling him at 3:30 in the morning. He cleared his throat, "'ello?"
"Hey, Nick... it's Brandie..."
He recognized her voice immediately, he was sure he'd probably been hearing it in the dream he'd just been having, but something sounded different. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
"Yeah, I'm... okay. Sorry about calling so late..." She didn't know why she'd called him, exactly, she just knew she wanted to talk, wanted some company, and his number had been the one she'd dialed without even really thinking about it.
"It's fine, what's up?" he asked, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes.
"Would you maybe want to come over and hang out a while? I'm at the club..."
Whoa. He was shocked she seemed to be giving him the perfect opportunity, "Yeah, just let me throw some clothes on, I'll be there in a few."
Brandie hung up the phone and kicked her feet up on her desk. She liked her office, in the cozy confines of the far corner of the club- soundproof walls for her to escape into if she ever needed to get away, the comfy leather chair that she could just sink back into. She finished sipping her daquiri then headed out to the bar area, to let Nick in when he arrived.
Nick parked next to Brandie's Escalade, almost shocked at the way the parking lot seemed a little spooky when it was completely empty. The neon sign that screamed the club's name had been dimmed- everything looked so different. He went to the main entrance and knocked on the door, which immediately opened- Brandie waiting for him on the other side. He smiled at her, and had to snicker at her shirt, that read, "Got me? I'll do your body good." That was true enough, he thought. He leaned down to give her a soft kiss, and was a little surprised when she responded with a hug that was more friendly than passionate.
"Thanks for coming over." Brandie said quietly, as she locked the door behind him, and walked into the club towards the dancefloor.
"I was actually glad you called, I've been wanting to talk to you, and it doesn't seem like we get much chance to do that when we usually, uh, get together." Nick said, half-laughing.
Brandie smiled at him as she walked behind the bar and asked if he wanted anything to drink. When he shook his head, 'no', she grabbed herself a bottle of water and went to the middle of the dancefloor, sitting down indian-style. "What do you want to talk about?"
Nick sat down beside her, "Just anything. I'd like to just.. get to know you better."
Brandie looked somewhat caught off guard, "I'm really not that interesting."
"I think I'll make that decision for myself." he said.
"Okay.. well, then, what do you want to know?" she asked, tugging the scrunchie that had been holding her hair back in a sloppy bun out, letting her long hair tumble down her back.
Nick could feel heat rushing through his body as he watched her, images of the last time they'd been together immediately entering his mind- she'd done the same thing with her hair, and something about watching her hair fall down her back had been incredibly erotic to him. He shook his head in attempt to clear it, and said, "Everything."
Brandie took a sip of her water, "That's alot of stuff.. can you be more specific maybe?"
Nick rearranged himself, leaning back on his elbows, "Alright... we'll start with why you're here at the club at 4 a.m., when the place is spotless."
She laughed a little, "Damn, there went my cleaning excuse. Kirsten did most of it tonight, actually. I stay here sometimes.. I've got an amazing chair in my office that I just curl up in and sleep here every now and then."
"You sleep here?"
Brandie nodded, "Yeah.. I'm comfortable here. Like, I love it when it's like this... just to be here when it's empty and see what it's like, and then tomorrow night- there'll be, like, 2000 people here in this place.. that I've made... it's just, mine. I feel more at home in this building than anywhere else.. I'd probably just live here if I could."
Nick arched his eyebrow, obviously confused. "Why would you do that?"
"Staying here alone is better than going home alone... and I just.. I don't know.. Kirsten's got a life outside of this place- she's got other friends and people she hangs with... she's really all I've got because I don't let myself get to know other people... so if I'm here, I can be busy, I can do... anything, and it doesn't seem as bad as going home and being bored and lonely." she replied, shocked she'd just let all that out.
Nick processed the information she'd given him as quickly as possible, trying to think before he replied to that. "So that's why you, uh, keep so many guys lined up?"
Brandie shrugged a little, "It's something like that, I guess. I mean, I like sex, and with different people it never gets boring... and if I don't take the time to really get to know any of them.. I can't get attached..."
Nick cut in, "What's wrong with getting attached? Sex doesn't have to be boring either, just because you're with one person."
"Well, we've managed to keep it hot for a month, haven't we?" Brandie asked, giving him a wink. She stretched out on the floor on her stomach and said, "What's wrong with getting attached? Several things... attachment insinuates a relationship, a relationship requires investments of yourself and time that I don't have the patience or desire to do.. and..."
Nick waited for a moment, then prompted her to continue, "And what?"
Brandie averted her eyes from his direction, "If you get attached, you can get hurt. By just... 'playing', fucking around or whatever you want to call it- it's just easy... all fun and no trouble, but there's no pain, because there's really nothing to it but sex."
Nick thought he was beginning to catch on, pick up on where she was coming from, "Have you ever been 'attached'?"
Brandie rolled her eyes and sighed at the memory, "I was in love once, and that was enough."
Nick figured she'd probably been hurt by whomever it was she had loved, but decided not to press the issue. "Okay, well doesn't it bother you- that if you don't get to know anyone, that they're missing out on knowing you?"
Brandie wasn't quite sure that to say or do. She so rarely had conversations like this, if she did it was always with Kirsten- and now here she was, practically pouring her heart out to this guy she'd intended to use only as a sexual plaything- but he seemed to be serious, actually curious and want answers to his questions. "I don't think most of the people I associate with are interested in knowing anything about me other than how well I can get them off."
"I already know that." Nick chuckled, and then became serious again. "You really underestimate yourself- you're really smart, you're fiesty, and you're very interesting whether you think you are or not."
For the first time since she couldn't remember when, Brandie felt a blush creeping into her cheeks at his words. She smiled and quietly said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." he said, his 'little boy' grin lighting up his face, proud that he'd obviously delighted her with his compliment. "So am I going to be able to get any other info out of you tonight?"
"You seem to be on a roll, so try me." she said, moving to rest her head on his out-stretched leg.
Nick's fingers automatically went to play with her hair, as he thought of all the things he'd like to ask her- he wasn't quite sure where to begin. After a few moments he asked, "What do you like?"
"What?"
"What kinds of things do you like? Just anything you like, makes you happy..." he said, twisting two of the pink streaked sections of her hair together, thinking that he was happy just to be with her, just talking.
"Wow.. it's been a long time since anyone asked me what I liked.." She looked up at him and gave him a quick smiled, "I love having my hair played with, I like my Escalade, I like playing dj here sometimes, trying to come up with new drinks, watching the sun come up, Yorkie puppies, watching the travel channel all night, being teased..."
Nick smiled at the list of things she was naming, but stopped her when she got to 'being teased'. "You like being teased? How?"
'Like, any way. Whether it be before sex, or just getting picked on sometimes.. I like it.. I know it's kind of weird, but I think I like it because it doesn't happen that much. I'm always the one doing the teasing- what I wear, what I say, the things I do on stage, it's all just a big tease." she replied.
Nick stopped messing with her hair and said, "You like being teased, huh?" He gently moved her off of him, and got up, jogging over towards the dj booth.
Brandie sat back up, watching him, trying to figure out what he was going to do. She started laughing immediately when the music came on, but became quickly mesmerized as she watched Nick strutting back over to her.
"Attention all y'all players and pimps, right now in the place to be (shake ya ass), I thought I told y'all before, Y'all can't fuck with me (watch yourself), Now this ain't for no small booties, no sir cause that won't pass, but if you feel you got the biggest one, then come on shake ya ass!" ("Shake ya ass", Mystikal)
As the song played, Brandie's eyes followed Nick's every move as he turned around, shaking his ass with the song. She clapped and hollered, begging for more. He turned back to face her, smirking, grabbing the hem of his shirt, slowly inching it up his stomach, only to let it drop again, causing Brandie to protest and say he was mean.
He danced his way, closer over to her, staying just out of her reach, "I thought you liked being teased..."
"I do.. but you're killing me here!" she said, jumping up from the floor and into his arms.
~~~~
"Thanks for tonight, Nick... it was good to have someone to talk to." Brandie said as she walked him to the door of the club and out into the mid-morning sunlight.
He smiled and pulled her to him for a kiss, "Yeah, it was... I enjoyed talking with you. See, you can have a good time without sex. It might be a better time with sex, but fun can still be had fully clothed."
She hugged him, "Yeah, yeah. Don't expect to see this happen again anytime soon though.. and don't tell anyone!"
Nick laughed as he opened the door to his car and got inside, "Your secret is safe with me." He blew her a kiss as he drove off, watching her wave at him.
Brandie walked back inside the club, wondering how last night had actually happened. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so hard, had so much fun, or felt that comfortable with another person. "God, what's happening to me?"