darkness cannot reach us... only love remains..." ("Angels" - Ashton, Becker, Dente)
He got up and showered, and then began picking up a few things around his room. He didn't think it was really her job to deal with almost a month's worth of laundry laying on the floor.
~~~~~
Avalon gathered her things out of the van and walked up Nick's driveway, wondering if she'd be able to make any progress today. She'd had a long conversation with Michael last night, who'd told her that more than likely Nickolas would feel compelled to talk to her, but it may take a while, depending on how ready he was to deal with his own situation.
She rang the doorbell and was pleasantly surprised to see the door swing open and find Nick on the other side, a slight smile on his face. "Good morning." she said, flashing her most pleasant grin.
Nick's smile widened, "Mornin'. I'm glad you're back, I was hopin' I hadn't scared you off yesterday."
Avalon knew he was referring to his behavior, but shook her head and said, "Nah, I've seen bigger messes..."
He moved out of the way so she could come in the house, "Thanks again for doing this."
"Better me than you, right?" Avalon laughed, lugging her stuff through the door.
"True that." Nick chuckled.
~~~~~
Avalon worked on the three "spare" bedrooms all morning, wondering how they got to be called the "spare" rooms when they contained so much stuff. In the middle of the last room, her vacuum cleaner made a horrible whiny noise and promptly stopped working. Avalon made a face at the vacuum, called it a "dumb thing" and went off in search of Nick.
She found him at his usual post in front of the television. "Um, hey, Nick."
He jumped, startled. "Hey, what's up?"
'My vacuum just died, would you happen to have one hidden somewhere I could use?" she asked.
Nick thought for a second, "Yeah... um..." He got up and went searching in a few closets before finding the vacuum. "Here it is. I.. uh.. don't know how to work it.. but there it is.."
Avalon tried not to giggle, and just grabbed the vacuum. "Thanks."
Nick watched her walk off, obviously trying her best not to laugh at him, and had to laugh at himself. He probably should learn how to do a few things like that. He figured since he was up, he may as well make lunch... maybe he could get Avalon to join him.
Just as Avalon had finished vacuuming the bedroom and redoing the hall, she turned off the vacuum to see Nick standing at the end of the hall watching her. "Am I in the way?" she asked.
"No, you're fine.. I was just going to tell you.. I made lunch.. so, uh.. would you wanna, um.. take a break..."
"Oh yeah!" she dropped the cord to the vacuum and followed him downstairs.
"I cook about as well as I clean, so I just fixed a pizza, that alright?" Nick asked.
"Sounds good to me!" Avalon replied. She'd always wondered what a pizza would taste like. Of all the foods she'd watched humans eat, it was pizza that she'd wanted to try the most.
Nick motioned for her to sit down at the already-set table as he got the pizza out of the oven, then brought it over to the table. "What do you want to drink?"
Avalon was inhaling the scent of the pizza, it smelled as good as it looked, she thought. "Um.. whatever you're drinking is fine."
"Easy to please.. I like it." he said, grabbing two cans of Mt. Dew out of the fridge.
Avalon closed her eyes for a second, saying silent thanks to heaven for the day and the opportunity she was being presented with. "It is easy to be pleased.. just a matter of being content with what you're given." she said.
Nick looked like he was considering what she said. "So what are you supposed to do if you are content with what you have, and then it's taken away from you?"
Avalon had known talking with him about Jamie wasn't going to be easy, and his sudden transition into the conversation wasn't expected. She thought for a moment about the best way to answer him, thinking of all the things she'd heard Michael say about everything happening for a reason. She finally said, "Let it hurt for a while... and even though you don't want to.. try to realize there had to be a reason behind it.. because nothing happens for no purpose."
Nick closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears. He didn't stop them, though, just like he didn't try to stop himself from spilling all his feelings to Avalon. "But why?? Why did she have to die?? And why her? Why couldn't they have gotten me, too?? Or me instead of her.. why??" he sobbed.
Avalon pressed her hand against her chest, shocked at the intense pain she suddenly felt. She realized what it was almost immediately though, his words were breaking her heart. She'd said so many times she envied humans for their ability to really feel things and experience emotion, and she wasn't prepared for what it was going to be like. And she had no idea what to say to him. She'd been trained to deal with grief silently, to relieve the burdens on hearts without ever having to use words, and just rely on actions. She moved her chair close to him, and tenatively hugged him. He leaned into her embrace, obviously needing the simple gesture of comfort. "It's alright Nick.. just keep talking.. I'm listening.."
"I miss her so much... I don't even want to be alive anymore without her.. it hurts too much... " he whispered. "Every little thing reminds me of her, how happy we were.. and now she's gone. I'm glad they never found our car... I couldn't have handled that.. it had been her birthday present.. I just... it's ... nothing's worth it.. if I don't have her to share things with.." his voice trailed off as his tears began to fall faster.
Avalon could feel her own eyes getting wet, she could feel his pain, but didn't know what to do to relieve it for him. She just held him as he cried, just letting him know she was here for him.
After a while, Nick stopped crying, and was thankful Avalon had been there. He looked up at her, feeling like he needed to say something.
She shook her head, "Don't worry about it... just tell me what I can do to help you."
He had no answer for her right then, he couldn't even figure out why someone he'd only met the day before had been able to make him feel safe enough to talk, when no one else had. The things he'd been thinking- why her and not him and not even wanting to be alive.. had been exactly what he hadn't wanted to admit to anyone, including himself.
Avalon squeezed him tight for a second and let him go. "I wish I had some great answer for your questions.. but I don't... but I know there is some reason why you are alive, just like there's some reason I am... and it may take a while before we find out why, but we'll know one of these days.. and it won't make what's happening now any easier.. but maybe it'll make it make sense somehow."
He inhaled slowly, "That's the best thing anyone's told me yet." He sniffled a few times, "Thanks... for.. that... I haven't wanted to talk to anyone .. since she died.. I guess that was just waiting to happen."
"It's alright, really. Like I said, I'll listen, and I'll do anything I can to help." Avalon reached to cover his hand with hers. "Just tell me what you need."
He looked at the table in front of him and gave a weak laugh, "Right now I need lunch."
"How about we just order a pizza and make them bring it to us?" Avalon suggested.
Nick nodded, and got up to call the pizza place, a little confused as to why her touch on his hand had him feeling funny.
Once they'd eaten and Avalon had returned to cleaning, tackling Nick's room, he'd opted to be in the same room with her, rather than hiding in front of the Play Station. Nick sprawled out on the bed, continuing to talk to her as she worked. After a while, he said, "Alright, we've been talking about me all day... what about you?" As they'd been talking he'd become more intrigued with her, and was curious to get to know more about her.
She stopped dusting and looked at him, "What do you want to know?"
Nick thought for a moment, "Well, like, your name.. it's kinda.. different... what's it mean?"
She laughed lightly, "Avalon is another word for heaven."
"Whoa.. that's cool." Nick said, thinking it seemed appropriate for her.