"But I can't see you if I'm looking at the road" Nick said, smiling, turning again to look at his fiancee.
"Just wait 'til we get home, and you can see me naked then." she replied, leaning over to nibble on his ear. "So let's get there in one piece."
Nick groaned and turned his attention as fully as possible back to driving, despite his eagerness to be home already and take Jamie up on her offer.
Jamie leaned back in her seat, watching the dark alleys of Tampa fly past her window. She hated this area of the city, it just felt unsafe, especially at night. Nick insisted on coming this way, it was the quickest way to get home, despite the evil stares that two young people in a new Porsche got. She reached over to hold Nick's hand, comforted by his presense. He wouldn't let anyone hurt her.
Nick slowed the car as he approached a traffic light, and then stopped, sending Jamie a quick grin and squeezing her hand. "I love you."
"Love you too" she said, without looking back at him- her eyes following some movement in the shadows outside the car. Before she even had time to scream, her car door was flung open and she was pulled out of her seat, her hand yanked out of Nick's grip.
Nick turned quickly towards her to see her being dragged towards the sidewalk. He went to open his door to go after her and found it was already open- a large figure dressed in black blocking his exit. 'Fuck!' he scrambled across the seats, out the passenger door, Jamie's terrified shrieks ringing in his ears. He could hear the two men taking her into the alley saying that she didn't have a purse or any money on her, and then asking if they should just fuck her and let her go. "DON'T TOUCH HER!!!!" he yelled, dashing across the street to run after them, just before everything went black.
The next thing Nick knew he was laying face down on the sidewalk, vision blurry, head throbbing and body aching. He blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings. He could hear shaky gasps of air being sucked in from somwhere near him.. Jamie... where was she? "Jamie??" he called, jumping to his feet and wobbling from the head rush. He looked around in the darkness, trying to determine where the whimpers were coming from. He stumbled down the alley and as his eyes cecame accustomed to the lack of light, he could make out a figure crumbled up off to the side of the narrow street.
Jamie could hear Nick, see him kneeling beside her, feel him scooping her up in his arms, but the strength to respond to him was nearly gone. She struggled for another breath, trying to gather what little energy she had left to tell him goodbye. "Nick" she whispered, her already slowed heart beat becoming more labored from the effort of speaking. "I love.. you.." She couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. They felt too heavy. And the numbness in her body was spreading too fast. She took another rattly gasp of air and fell limp in Nick's arms.
"Jamie.. no.. baby.. don't you leave me!!" Nick cried. He could see the blood seeping through her clothes from her chest, but she couldn't leave him. He couldn't live without her.. "Jamie.. baby..please.. I love you.. don't leave me." He hugged her tighter, his tears falling faster. He felt it- felt her leave him. He was alone. His sobs became louder as the pain became more real with each second that passed. She was gone. He'd lost her, right there in his arms. His body shook with the force of his cries, "JAMIE!!!!!", the pain-filled howl of her name that echoed all the way to heaven.
~~~~
All the angels stopped in their tracks, hearing the mourning lament of a suddenly lost lover. All across heaven, hands came together and the angels fell to their knees, praying in unison for the shattered heart wailing in loss. "Comforted be the soul in pain, the broken heart be mended. Bless the future of the one who can not see tomorrow in the moment they are living. Love assure them, they will love again. Amen."
Sophie's head remained bowed, her hands clenched together longer than any of the others. She felt Nick's pain- the ache in his heart, his despair, just as she'd felt every other hurt he'd ever experienced. Since the moment he'd come into the world twenty one years ago, she'd been with him every second- watching him, guarding him, protecting him, but there was nothing she could do to comfort him now.
~~~~
"That's Nick!!" AJ shouted at the television as a tiny picture of Nick appeared in the corner of the screen. He grabbed the remote and quickly turned up the volume.
"In news from around the state today, Bay Area resident, Jamie Decker, 23, finacee of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, was pronounced dead on arrival at Tampa General Hospital early this morning. The couple had been victim of a car-jacking in south Tampa. Ms. Decker was sexually assaulted and shot in the chest, while Carter was knocked unconscious but escaped with only cuts and bruises. Local authorities are still searching for the couple's Porsche, and the idenities of their attackers."
"Holy shit." AJ breathed, reaching for the phone to see what the other guys had heard.
********
Sophie stood next to Nick, watching the tears that had been flowing continuously for the past few days trail down his cheeks as he peered into the open casket. She could see him trembling, shivering as though he was freezing, despite the warm Florida sun shining over them. She wished there was some way she could ease his pain, offer him a soothing touch. There'd never been a time when she'd wanted to be able to wrap her arms around him, and hug him until everything seemed better somehow, more than she did right then. She wanted to be able to grab him, hold him up as he fell to his knees, the grief weighing too heavily on him for him to stay up. She moved aside as his friends rushed to his side, trying to help him up, calm him down and quickly discover it couldn't be done.
Nick pulled away from Kevin and Brian, pushing their hands away as they reached for him again. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!" he shouted, retreating to the outer edge of the crowd around the gravesite until everyone else had left, thankfully not stopping to try to console him.
Sophie stood in the shade of a tall tree, praying for strength, for herself to be able to help Nick in the ways he needed to be helped and strength for Nick to be able to get through this, to want to live, to love again.
Nick crept quietly over to the casket, asking the funeral director if he could be alone for a few moments. The man nodded and slipped away to the hearse, leaving Nick to look at Jamie's beautiful face for the last time.
He reached to softly touch her cheek, and quickly withdrew his hand. He didn't want to feel her like that- no warmth or softness to her flesh, her perfect lips not curved into that ever-present contented grin- it was wrong. All wrong. It couldn't be real. He wasn't going to have to leave in a few minutes, and know the woman who would have been his wife in less than three months was being buried. This hadn't happened.
His hand slipped into his pocket, feeling for the engagement ring the mortician had given him back after collecting all Jamie's personal things when fixing her up. He slipped the ring back on her finger, and folded her hands back over her chest, the stiffness of her body chilling him to the bone. She was really gone.