Claude is a Jerk! By: Brent Murray The Owner of Claude is a Jerk and Shadows of Zelnack. Greetings! Brent reporting from Claude Is A Jerk…well we all have new year resolutions but for everyone’s favorite Jerk Boy he had something we weren’t expecting… Claude: I wanted a sex change…I just…well I love Dias…and he loves me…and I thought well on the street everyone thinks I’m werid…guy and guy…so with me becoming a lady this will feel right… Reporter: (Throwing up) Yes…Claude C Kenni…for some the darling man from SO2...is getting a sex change…how will this effect the fans of Claude? Hans: Are you even sure there’s any? Muhahahaha Brent: Now we gotta see what they have to say… Hans: Maybe you should let someone else to do it…I heard most of them have rotten fruit ready to toss at you… Brent: 0_0’ So a few were asked of this werid tale… Hullo: A SEX CHANGE? WHAT THE **** WHERE THE HELL IS BRENT? Hans: But…it was his idea… Hullo: I’m pretty sure Brent put him up to it! I just know it! Reebi: I don’t wanna talk about Claude…I’m watching the Canadians! Hans: Montreal? GO NEW YORK!!! Reebi: You’re a CIAJ FAN! GET THE HELL OUTTA OF MY HOUSE! Claude Defender: I don’t think he is going to do that…Brent is the one writing this home made garbage… Hans: If this is in a newspaper…then it has to be true… Claude Defender: Man…don’t you guys get it! All Newspaper articles aren’t… In the midst of confusion the Star Ocean cast was shocked…some didn’t quite mind… Azim: Another one of those guys…is just what Azim feels is right for the team! Sean: I heard Indalieco wears a bra to bed every night… Ashton: Your kidding me? Sean: No…I’m telling the truth…I heard it on Entertainment tonight… Dias…the man Claude wanted to impress…will he accept this? Dias: Oh…My…God… Brent: How do you feel? Dias: Well…at least when he touches me…at least it’s a woman…not a man…^_^ Celine: But…he was a man before… Dias: (Crying) Ohhhh…it’s not fair…what did I do to deserve this! Brent: Bold words from Mr. Flac…personality I like the new change…now girls will hate him…ad more boys will find that so sick that they will throw their Star Ocean games out the window…this has been another issue of Nedian News…Godbess and goodnight… (Silence) Man: Ah Mr. Brent…we still got 10 lines left to fill… Brent: Oh…um…Dias will now sing a song… Dias: Ah… Brent: Just do it… Dias: Ok… Dias: (Coughs) Dias: (Takes a glass of water) Dias: (Open’s mouth) Man: Sorry…we can stop now… (End) -Have a safe new year and don’t forget to visit the 2003 edition of CIAJ on January 5th -Also visit our new forum…The Zelnackian Forums… (Commercial) Boy: (Playing Zelnack and dies from fighting Inadaleico) Boy: Oh…man…stupid Claude…I died because of him… Man: Tired of Indy kicking your behind…are you still stuck on the Minasew Ship…Is Sean’s problems a pain in the ass? Well don’t get pissed off and huck out that new Computer…log into the New Zelnackian Forums and get the lastest news, tips and information to beat the game Boy: (Kills Indaleico) YES! Man: Either you suck…or your outta luck…The Zelnackian Forums…log in today!