2	Ting	Crowe's Perch
A Fleeting Glance	KittKatt	Crowe's Perch
A Sunday Poem	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
A Walk in the Woods	Quarry Maiden	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
Another Day	Ting	Crowe's Perch
Bellingham Bay	Quarry Maiden	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
Big Small World	Ageangirl	Crowe's Perch
Boxed Heart	Crafty	Crowe's Perch
Cry, Baby	SKGray	AfterDark
Eric	MiaCarmella	Crowe's Perch / Virtual Stubbs
Fairy Dreams	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Fear Subsides	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
February 12th	Ting	Crowe's Perch
Frustration Fresh From Fighting Dragons	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
Got Your Scent All Over My Skin	Mr. E.	Crowe's Perch
Haiku	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
Haiku II	Kittkatt	Crowe's Perch
Heartland	Quarry Maiden	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
He's Not Perfect	Kittkatt	Crowe's Perch
I Forget Why	Motz	Crowe's Perch
If I Could	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Just A Moment	SKGray	AfterDark
Just Words	SKGray	AfterDark
Just Words	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Karma	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
La Luna's Light	SKGray	AfterDark
Light	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
The Longest Night	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Midnight Blue	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Miles and Miles	KittKatt	Crowe's Perch
Mind's Eye	KittKatt	Crowe's Perch
My Little Girl	Ting	Crowe's Perch
The Night Owl	SKGray	AfterDark
No Escape	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
One Smooth Summer Night	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
The Pudding	Deb Boyer	AfterDark / Crowe's Perch
Real Conversations on Unrequited Love	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Rest	Chili	Outback / RCBM / Perch
Route 78	SarahTS	Crowe's Perch
The Run	CGreen	Crowe's Perch
Senses	SKGray	AfterDark
That Hidden Space	RM	Dean's Den / Crowe's Perch
Too Strong?	SKGary	AfterDark
Traditions	Deb Boyer	AfterDark
Truth	SKGray	AfterDark
We Shared The Moon	SKGray	AfterDark
Were You Feeling Neglected?	Mr. E.	Crowe's Perch
What Big Boys Are Made Of	Queenlurker	Crowe's Perch
When I Learn to Fly	Heeler	Crowe's Perch

Just Words

Words
Letters strung together
Like Christmas lights
They blink on and off
Some never light up
Don't you just hate that?
Especially when you have a lot to say
It just wants to bubble out
In a stream of exhilaration
Yet falls flat on the page
Dim bulbs.

Sometimes the words won't even
Show themselves to me
Shy hiding behind brass audacity
Does it show?
No, it's silenced deep
No one can see
Not if you scream
Loud enough
They're too busy covering their ears
To see what's unsaid

And that's a blessing
What would they think
If they could see?
They'd see weakness
Need
Hands tied behind the back
To prevent that telltale reaching out
Bind them tight
Mustn't expose the liquid shadow
Peeking from behind the bluster
Always ebbing
Shove it down
And swallow
The words
They need to be left unsaid

© Chili 2001 / Outback Chat / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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Another Day

6:00 a.m.
Alarm clock din
Another day
Will now begin

Knock - knock
Hey babe, are you up
Teenaged grumbling
Does erupt

Eggs - Pancakes
What's your pleasure
Some toast and juice
For good measure

Your algebra book
I did not steal
Rumbling school bus
Brakes squeal

Under the warm
Scented spray
Ahh....maybe I'll stay here
All day

Into the mirror
Critical stare
*Gasp*
Is that another wrinkle there

Black suit, blue suit
Hunter green
Sure wish
I Could wear my jeans

Our new coed phones
How are you, honey
She cries - mom I'm broke
Please send money

Slide into my car
Play TOFOG loud
I-69 west
Join the maddening crowd

Arrive at desk
With time to spare
I'm on time today
The boss can't glare

9:00 a.m
Give my co-workers a grin
Another day
Will now begin

---

The Run

It's dark outside, the day is done
The time is now to out and run
She knows it too, my movements tell
Without a word, she knows me well
So off we go, my pooch and me
Our heads to clear, our hearts to free
We settle in, the standard pace
A gentle breeze upon my face
The sidewalk dips, a car goes by
A hazy moon waves from the sky
My breath in rhythm to the beat
A'jamm'in with my pounding feet
I hear the jingle of her collar
If it stops, I turn and holler
Come on Toby, stay with me
Don't ruin our pace to take a pee
The streetlights mark our path so clear
My shadow is a darkened mirror
It latches on as if we dance
I feel like I'm in a trance
This is the part that I like best
My body feels that it's been blessed
But not for long, fatigue sets in
We're almost home, I set my chin
Up one more hill, round one more bend
Our run is almost at its end
And now we're done-and I am tired
Still a feel'in somewhat wired
My soul breaks out into a grin
Until the next time we begins

© CGreen 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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2

We made a promise
Stainglassed and candlelit
20 years ago

2 much loved daughters
Wide awake and gentle
With lives of their own

Will we soon be 2
Preoccupied strangers
Husband - wife alone

---

A Sunday Poem

Why must you
judge
my paths
by standards
you set
with no consideration
of
the roads
I choose
I love?

Your smooth beige
downhill
graded highways
hold no interest,
just blurred scenery.

I thrive here
in the
mountain passes,
reached only by
lefthand forks
always uphill
over rocks
naked roots,
with forays
to the peaks
where the
valleys shimmer
at my feet
and where
the sun
is strong
on my face

---

A Fleeting Glance

Didn't know I was looking
Not lonely, just alone
Made me smile
Laugh

Didn't know what I wanted
Not lost, just wandering
Let me hope
Dream

Didn't really have you
Not broken, just bruised
Time to cry
Heal

---

My Little Girl

Jet black hair spiked in all directions
Porcelain ears repeatedly pierced
Eyes flash from deep blue concentration
To laughing green, amber kissed

Slender musical fingers dance brightly
Girly arms grip electric guitar
Thick mascara-free lashes closed tightly
Delicate shoulders hunched - my budding star

---

What Big Boys Are Made Of

Stumbling, falling, reeling about
Frustrated that life moves so damned slow
Hurting, yet not wanting to reach out
My man-child not letting it show

Aching to be independent
Wrestling the little boy within
Struggling with each small increment
My man-child is growing again

---

A Walk in the Woods

After our walk in the woods
my daughter empties her pockets --
three smooth rocks, for the collection
a bluejay's feather, for her friend
a wilted violet, for me and
a sliver of sunlight, for her

---

One Smooth Summer Night

One smooth summer night
brown eyes joined with blue and
found the power to fly
From that second on
the true romance was born
that pushed us toward the sky

Heard it somewhere and
I can't help but believe some
souls travel together
'cause if love was measured
in mortal time it would
last after life, forever

Shredded threads of our hearts
braided together, grew
stronger with a few tears
Now on gossamer wings we
fly past the sun and
know there's nothing to fear

When I first felt your touch
couldn't help but believe
souls do travel together
That's why love at first sight
can last through a life --
last after life, forever

We're two falling stars
with tangled tails in
burning breathless flight
skin gold dusted with the
smell and taste of love
going nova in the night

Heard it somewhere and I
can't help but believe some
souls travel together
'cause if love was measured
in mortal time it would
stretch after life, forever.

© Deb Boyer 2001 / AfterDark / Crowe's Perch

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Were You Feeling Neglected?

Upon my return home, after a long day at work
I found a strange surprise, an unexpected perk
Behold! lying there, the one I thought I had lost
The man with eyes of sea, and a soft smile to melt frost

I hadn’t seen this image of him in many a day
And he comes out of nowhere, like he’s ready to play
Imagine my bewilderment, for no one else was about
How did he come to arrive with no help, a photo has no clout
Perhaps he was lonely, and feeling the sting of disregard
Perhaps the sorrow in his eyes took over, and he let down his guard
A possible ghostly apparition with mischief in mind
A friendly one it would be, for his thought was so kind

Whichever it may be, it brought a smile to me today
The one who was hiding, he finally came out to play

© Mr. E. 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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Got Your Scent All Over My Skin

Got your scent all over my skin
Burned way down deep, luring me in

You say that you know me,
But you won’t look in my eyes
What is it that you fear,
Are you afraid of goodbye?

We had something once
At least a glimmer of a chance
But what is left now
Is this one last dance?

Whispering lies in a sweet, sexy voice
Baby, sometimes you leave me no choice

Got your scent all over my skin
God help me, it’s happening again
Burned way down deep, luring me in
Got your scent all over my skin

© Mr. E. 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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---

Cry, Baby

There is always one left.
When you're sure they'd been spent.
And emptiness promised relief.

A dewdrop of memory
Taking the path
Of least resistance.
Down a cheek.

It runs it's course
A salty damp kiss
at the corner of your lips
You can taste it.

Full brimmed, you blink.
and another begins.
No emotion so soulfelt
Is ever wasted.

There is always one left.
When you're sure they'd been spent.
It's a full heart that still can feel grief.

---

Senses

I held him for a moment in my eyes
And if I never see again
My memory will give rebirth - so
Many times the look that was
Exchanged.

I stroked his cheek so carefully
And if I never touch him more
My fingers still will feel the texture
Of his face so warm against
My hand

I tasted the sweetness of his mouth
And if I cease to be so close
I still will have the bittersweet
reminder of the kiss, caressing
My life.

---

We Shared the Moon

When all that remained of a day ripped apart,
(apart from your touch and your taste but not heart),
was a stark lonely midnite...

We shared the moon.

You struggling there.
Me stumbling here.
And the breath stealing fear
that
those inbetween just didn't care.

We shared the moon.

"Look up! Look there!
I am watching him, too."

The same moment, the same distance
The same carefree full smile
Of the man looking down
all those celestial miles.

We shared the moon.

Were you shedding the tears,
did you reach out your hand?
Grasping for sanity in our land
of pure madness.

Numbed with sadness
do you ever look up still?
Now that the moon has gone
and come again, and remember the one

who shared the moon with you?

I do.

---

Eric

I.
My baby navy bean
laughs a big blue sky
for bright winter storms
(my piercing expanse of silver sun)
yes, my beam through the twisted smile
of April rain
or through the falling cold.
All, while balancing weak on a wanton spoon,
(for the mouths of the angry-hideous)
and tipping it over casually, it
spills like rice over the rusty sting...
waning like Magnolia blossom on the twilight breeze, now.

II.
Still, still like stars;
his hand & heart
poised like velvet doves
are sweetest chocolate,
rich like red, ruddy lips,
smooth as pillow breath
over the rise and ripple of me...

© MiaCarmella 2001 / Crowe's Perch / Virtual Stubbs

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That Hidden Space

I sit here and wonder
not knowing if you care
I think of you often
hoping someday you’ll share
your dreams and feelings
I know you have held them
tightly deep inside you
not trusting friendship
not trusting faith
wondering if love will ever find
that hidden space
you can trust my friendship
you can trust my faith
you can trust my love
you can trust me
just look at my face
you wonder if anyone understands
you wonder if anyone would
you wonder what has happened
but love will find you when it should

© RM 2001 / Crowe's Perch / Virtual Stubbs

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No Escape

There was a place, a small niche
In a dark damp corner
Where you still lived
Where I'd walled you up with tears
(lousy for mortar… what was I thinking?).
It was a cold isolated spot,
Devoid of feeling, softness, heart
Well, like you
And that's where I put you.
Stubborn to the end, you are
You wouldn't stay there
Aging, fattening up, going bald
Your skin whitening until you glowed
Like exposed bones, but
No, you had to escape from that world
And back into mine
What a jolt to see you again
What a joke
Me joyous until the moment you appeared
And you took that away too
You're so good at it
Lean, flat, hair thick and full
Skin tanned and healthy
Same white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves
No bones exposed at all
While I decompose in this cold coffin
I've built for myself to escape
From you
A bitter victory
Until you snatched it away
But I win
Because I didn't let you
See me.

© Chili 2001 / Outback / RCBM / Perch

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Boxed Heart

Boxed up my heart
when it got to much to bear.
Threw away the key,
refuse to visit there.

The dust and debris
that gather around it,
Causes me to adjust
and move on without it.

With one look from your eyes,
I'm faced with my fears.
Must visit that box,
succumb to the tears.

Screams echo in my ears
"Face it, move on!"
Cant do it alone,
need someone to lean on.

Pandora slips out
fear rakes threw my soul,
quick lock it back up,
cant face it alone.

Wipe off the dust,
place it in view,
dont have the strength,
not without you.

I see your box
is just as full as mine.
I'll support you with yours
if you support me with mine.

For one day we'll face it.
together we'll stand,
unlock these boxes,
with gifts for each other, outstretched in our hands.

© Crafty 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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The Pudding

Poking the pantry for possibilities
(Mother Nature having had
opposing plans for play)
I make butterscotch pudding.

Settled on sofa side-by-side --
two spoons, one bowl
we share solid skin,
exposing sensuous steaming sugarcream.

You eat edges erratically, unevenly
dragging gooey golden globs,
leaving sweet snail streaks
embellishing the enamel expanses.

Sense of order oddly opposed,
I openly orchestrate otherwise.
My utensil urges unity
before diving deep deadcenter.

Juxtaposed jocosities joined, we are
purposely poised, meeting midway --
the last luscious layer
licked off laughing lips.

© Deb Boyer 2001 / AfterDark / Crowe's Perch

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The Night Owl

It's 11:00, I greet the day, the morning fog has just about lifted making me think it is much earlier than the clock hours.

As usual I was up late. No surprise. Night owls are night owls no matter the weekend or weekday. Also no surprise, night owls do their most poignant thinking while their part of the world is facing the moon.

The age old Night Owl howl.
Whoooo am I?
What day was this?
How many more will pass before I feel
a part of the world?
and not lost in my dreams?
How did I get where I am?
How will I change it tomorrow?
Why am I like what I am like?
How did I get so strong?
Why is part of me still so weak?
Why do I like being alone?
Will I ever allow someone back in?
Why am I so afraid?

The night gets deeper and more specific....

What could have been done or said differently
to make me love him better or make him love me
the way I needed to be loved...
the way he promised he would and didn't?
Why is that the same question
about two distinctly different men...
one I left and one who left me?

Are my children who are, this particular night,
not sleeping in their own beds,
in their own house due to hugely different reasons,
alright and safe?
How can I possibly have
any more fucking tears left in this body?
Why, of all the people in the world
do I punish myself more than anyone else?
then again..
Why am I so afraid?

Then the motivation kicks in somewhere before the first bird warbles.
Tomorrow I will...

Kick my ass into gear
Assume my responsibilities
Slip into my various *roles*
Share
Be strong
Be confident
Laugh
Make someone else laugh
Flash a light back into the tunnel behind me f or someone else to follow
Eat less exercise more.
Embrace grace
Forget the fear
Compose more stories to tell.
Tell them with enthusiasm.
Absorb more of nature's visuals and ironies and joy.
Learn something
Teach something.
Move on.

Hurrah, hurrah, meet the day.
I am goddess hear me roar!
I do the chores,
I keep my world revolving,
I think about the kids,
I do what needs done...
then I sit quietly in front of my monitor.
I read the news, email, message boards.
Answer where I feel I have something to contribute.
Sometimes actually say what is on my mind
and shove the diplomat into the closet
before she storms her way out again,
defiantly saying the fucking right thing,
again.

And the night owl
howls and hoots and hollers
and fills the clock hours till the dusk comes back
and I am safe inside my approaching night.

Why am I so afraid?

© SKGray 2001 / AfterDark

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---

Rest
for a dear friend

Moonbeams and candle glow
Light the corridor
Where I pace
Back and forth
Restless wary of the shadows
Should they overtake me
Avoiding the corners
Stick close to the windows…
Thoughts racing
Like the clouds against the sky
One after the other
They won't stop
I can't stop to
Rest.
Close the eyes
Will it help?
This time I will try to
Deafen the noise
That freight train of thoughts
Runs on.
Even in the din of this wakeful madness
I know that the time is near
This will pass
My body will rebel
The aches will scream enough
If not tonight
Then some quiet moment will creep up
And in that breath
I will succumb
To the softness of sleep.
In the interim
I can gaze through the glass
Blackness without
Yet be comforted
To know that miles away
Friends rock me in their arms
And softly whisper a lullaby to hasten
The sweetness of sleep

© Chili 2001 / Outback Chat / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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Karma

Karma's gonna get you
Karma's gonna take a bite
And your ass will never be the same
Karma's gonna whup your butt
And the sores will never heal
Karma's gonna get you
Karma's got your name.

Karma's got lots of disguises:
Come Uppance
Vengeance
What Goes Around Comes Around
Retribution
Justice

Karma
How a person's actions
Effects their destiny

But it isn't Karma at all is it
When the dog is chained in the yard
With no memory of human touch, soft word
Or even a drink of water
And then bites
Come Uppance doesn't apply
Does it
When the child is twisted
By some twisted malignancy
And then
Twists in turn
How does the beaten
Become the beater?
The attacked
The attacker
The downtrodden
Mutate
And emerge from the coccon swollen with despair
As one who kicks with spiked boots
One kick more vicious than the next
For good measure…
Visible tears turn inward
Until the dam bursts

How is the chain broken
How to turn Karma on itself
And soften the first blow
Before the second takes it's first breath?
And if Karma can be spun on its head
And cheated
Is it then still
Destiny?

© Chili 2001 / Outback Chat / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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If I Could

If I could screen you from it all
From every insult large and small
Surround you with a gentle wall
I'd shield you.

A place to ease your troubled mind
Where only those you love you'd find
In peace your heart and soul entwined
I'd guard it.

If I could squeeze your hand and show
Concern, and on you calm bestow
Until you felt you could let go
I'd hold it.

If in my hands you'd lay your cares
So I could gather up your fears
And trace the falling of your tears
I'd cherish.

And when it's time to leave this place
And to rejoin the hectic race
I'd memorize your tender face
And remember.

© Chili 2001 / Outback Chat / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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---

Light

For every light
There is a shadow
For every flicker
A stillness
For every need
That grips the heart
Somewhere there is a hand
Reaching out to fulfill it

© Chili 2001 / Outback Chat / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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---

The man of my dreams
looking for me on a path
I’ve yet to choose.

Silent, glistening
miniature diamonds of ice
melting at my touch.

© Kittkatt 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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---

Too Strong?

Strength gives and seeks in kind.
of the body, from the mind.

Strength flows and ebbs and peaks and wanes
to allow others the self same chance to quell the fears
and ease the pains

of similarly wounded souls.

Strength is only a virtue, if you can somehow see fit to give it away
and allow others to comfort the lack of on a sorrowful day.

For if not, the refusal will create stone, or worse.
Too solitary a strength becomes a heart's curse.

© SKGray 2001 / AfterDark

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Bellingham Bay

Seabirds wheeling, then they dive
For a crab feast tossed in the fray
Nearby fishermen smoke and joke
About the one that got away

She smiles to herself, so grateful
For the town built on that hill
For its sailboats and its mountains
This summer’s wine, she’ll drink her fill

Blue islands in the distant mist
Mighty Orcas breach and race
She’ll listen close for all their secrets
Each one she will embrace

Alaskan ferry leaves at noon
She watches from the pier
That watery highway’s a long one
Does it start or end right here?

Half a life lived most in full measure
These clouds should burn off soon
She remembers well those starry nights
Once blessed by a Juneau moon

So many years come and gone so fast
And still she wants to play
Free and fair as the Bellingham air
She’s the one who got away.

© Quarry 2001 / AfterDark

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Route 78

What do you do
driving down route 78
at 1:07 am
rain pounding on the windshield (strangely in rhythm to your radio)
and all of a sudden you can only think
of one person.

You've had his number memorized
since you helped him set it up
and once, for five days,
you spent day in and out in one room together
and laughed the entire time,
never once realized that you're too critical and he's to optimistic
and you two, were probably in love
and just didn't know it.
And you know that he likes everything,
(he knows that you hate cheese)
And when you say you hate your mother
He knows that’s wrong as well…
Once he called you and without your even saying,
he knew something was wrong.
So he showed up at your door, three minutes later
And just his presence gave you the permission to cry the way you needed to.
And he held you next to him till 3 am,
when you both fell asleep and then woke up
Without moving from each other.
And when you sit in his passenger seat
Laughing because he won't ask for directions,
And how can anybody like November Rain?
Something somehow feels so right.
And it's not that you feel all giddy
Or flushed and unawares
Its just that, for the first time in your life
Something feels permanent
Something feels staid.
Someone other then your mother knows how you tick
and that you like Gerbera daisy's
and that you're really demanding
though its only cause you want the best
from everyone in your life
for everyone in your life
and that you love both your mother and father
and even your stepmother, though they drive you mad
and you’re his laughing sunshine
you know you'll always come through.
And once you stood in one of those makeshift studios
and sang "I will survive,"
and couldn't decide whose soul was worse
and though you know that yours was
he swears that it was him…
And when he sings Vaughn Williams
something in his heart speaks to you.
"Your hand lies open in the long fresh grass…"
And his baritone fills an empty spot.
And then you know you need him,
to sing you to sleep at night -
And you want so hard to push him as far as he can go
And you just want to be there, stand nearby as he grows.
Into the man he will become,
(at 23 how far away does that seem...)
Share your time with him.
Silent Noon.

What do you do
Driving down route 78
At 1:09 am
And all these thoughts have happened
In less then two minutes time
When the windshield is still wiping
And the rain starts to let up
And suddenly you realize
That someone you've known forever
whose patterns you have memorized
your habits and moods he knows
whose insanity sends you reeling
and makes your mother laugh
who aggravates you terribly
and knows your importance of time
whose walked you home from parties
when you couldn’t make it alone
is someone that you love.

But you might just shut that door
and never ever say
cause though there's something there
under all that time you've shared
you can never be too positive
if it is only you
or maybe he knows too
and just has never said…

What do you do
driving down route 78
at 1:11 am
and your windshield is still wiping
and the rain has seemed to end
and you're almost at your exit
but you don’t think you can stop….

© SarahTS 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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He's Not Perfect
song lyrics

From the moment I first saw him
Beautiful smile and eyes of blue
Dreamt of our life together
Til the day we'd say, “I do”

Oh, my man, he’s not perfect
He don’t even try
But when he says he loves me
I know it’s not a lie

Stroll along the beach together
Make love in the sand
When the morning greets us
Walk back hand in hand

Oh, my man, he’s not perfect
He don’t even try
But when he says he loves me
I know it’s not a lie

Late the morning after
Crumpled sheets upon the bed
He placed a kiss upon my cheek
And this is what he said

Oh, I know I’m not perfect
I don’t even try
But when I say ‘I love you.’
It will never be a lie.

© Kittkatt 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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---

Traditions

The invitations are issued
the schedule is set
the turkey's been ordered
(it's bound to be wrong)

I'll hide my heart in shiny paper
tie my content in silver ribbon
and make a nice centerpiece
(of my defenses)

So when I start bleeding again
I can easily cover the wounds
with thick cranberry sauce
(and pretend it's sweet)

                * * * *

The revellers will arrive
criticize house and farm
hear your brother's doing well
(wish I was in Aruba too)

This poem you did is nice
sell it, if anybody wants it
money keeps you warm
(but your eyes are so cold)

It's lovely you've had us
We don't do dishes, dear
There's cat hair on the stairs
(take some with you, it's free)

                * * * *

Night will cover the cornfield
and silence whisper golden
seige over for a year
(can love myself in between)

I'll snip off the silver bow
slowly unwrap my heart
tuck away the centerpiece
(need it again next year)

Tired feet on the table
snuggled under his arm
Survey the mess they've left
(know where I belong).

© Deb Boyer 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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I Forget Why

I forget why
I didn't want to go
was it work? fatigue?
I really don't know

will you feed my birds? she'd plaintively said...
I grit my teeth, ready to say no
I remember she's blind, 70 and her husband,
my father - is dead.

I go out to the window, that the feeder is on
Then I walk into her den, just to sit, breath in her scent
and hear her voice before I never hear it again...

light just pours through those blind old eyes
as she looks toward the window

"they sing and talk to me all day long,
sometimes the cardinal comes, cheeps at me-i think it's your dad"

© TheMotz57 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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Big Small World

Everyone back in day-job mode
Friends have scattered down the road
Air is heavy with correspondence
New syntax to add to the collection
Traded sounds and self-reflection
Common bonds, point of reference
Small World
Many voices, common thread
Headphones even worn to bed
Heartlines widened rub your eyes
Big World
Twenty-first Century connection
Isaac Asimov nodding in this general direction
Remember to breathe in, this is the good stuff
Big Small World

© Ageangirl 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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Miles and Miles

Packed up my stuff a few hours ago
Left a note on the table cause you had to know
Why I was leaving this time

Cause I’ve got a few dreams of my own
And a tear in my heart that can never be sown
By promises made but not kept

Oh, miles and miles of miles and miles
And I can’t remember the last time I smiled
Traveling along this lonely road

With nothing but distance between you and me
Heading west with the sunset , straight for the sea
Gonna bury my sins in the sand

Oh, miles and miles of miles and miles
And I can’t remember the last time I smiled
Traveling along this lonely road

So I’ve wiped off these tears shed reliving the past
Got the radio playing and I’m driving fast
To the future that’s calling to me

Just miles and miles of miles and miles
And I can’t remember the last time I smiled.

© Kittkatt 2001 / Crowe's Perch

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Just A Moment

Just a moment with nature is all that I need
To get away from the faces and demons of greed.
The complexity is simple.
Fears are freed.
Answers are given
According to need.

Just a moment with nature to cure the disease
of too many demands, expecting me to please.
The simplicity is clear.
Intent is to ease.
Comfort is guaranteed
In the caress of a breeze.

There's a volume of knowledge in the whisper of the wind
Judgment is blind and transgressions rescind.
I've a place here, a meaning,
a peace I can find.
I belong to the moon
And my soul can unwind.

Just a moment with nature is all that I need.
I don't need to cry, I don't have to bleed.
The complexity is simple.
Fears are freed.
Answers are given
According to need.

© SKGray 2002 / AfterDark

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Heartland

Tea roses curl through fences
back in the yard by the pond
that leads to the stream where
crawdads build houses of mud.

Under a cool blue spruce
there’s a good hiding place
next to the old shed with the
hornets and kittens.

Garter snakes dart
through new-mown grass
under the old swing
where songs get sung.

Patches of blue through
a golden leaf bower
in the tree with a book
and cold apple cider.

Rabbits born on Easter
nap in their hutch
under an early spring sun
silence before the next snowfall.

Star-filled sky goes on forever
and the Big Dipper drips
onto a child’s bed flying low over
moonlit summer cornfields.

© Quarry 2002 / AfterDark

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Fairy Dreams

One by one the muscles ease
Until my body lies
Limp unguarded by degrees
Away the cares do fly
In they come
The dance begun
Take over as they please

Round the edges, tiptoe in
Teasing me to sleep
Occupy where thoughts have been
In crevices they seep
A smoky mist
The eyelids kissed
Their substance paper thin

Like little fairies round a flame
My dreams dance in my head
Elusive spirits, hard to tame
On whispers are they fed
Softly, fair
Float on air
The quiet nights they claim

Things impossible by day
Are achieved in this tomb
Holding consciousness at bay
Hope grows inside this womb
Takes on life
Dares to thrive
The waking mind betrayed

But soon the dawn sneaks silver gray
Shoving back the dark
And dreams like feathers they do weigh
Back to their cells embark
Voices hollow
Promise follows
Surrounded by decay

And while the day plays out its song
They wait, their wings enfolded
Stretching as the shadows long
Reach out, to night beholden
In they come
The dance begun
To night the dreams belong

© Chili 2002 / Outback / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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Truth

A tiny spec of sand
That's all I am.

A moment's trickle in a breeze.

No kingdoms wait
for my command.

No masses do I please.

I'll come and go
and make no sound.

I'll shut no door to leave.

But I still own
the universe.

When you smile and touch my sleeve.

© SKGray 2002 / AfterDark / Crowe's Perch

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Midnight Blue

God held down the ‘contrast’ control button tonight
Sharpening the night all the way to its limit
Color, focus, light
Not black, no, the sky,
But fountain-pen blue
Ocean blue, rich and dark and deep
Midnight blue
Then sharply lined white clouds with puffy gray highlights
Passed slowly across a white white crisp
Perfect moon
So bright the sky is lit with their reflection
Silhouetting the trees, stark black guardians
Against that midnight blue, those white clouds
Not frail puffy wisps of smoke but
Solid silent travelers brought to life
Carved out of the sky, contours
So sharp that you can make out the leaves
As they fall
Lured from the trees by a wind cold and edgy
Chilling the skin
Clearing the mind
Cleansing the lungs
Now turn up the volume...

© Chili 2002 / Outback / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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La Luna's Light

Takes us home.
Reflected healing glow.

A solitude.
A wonder.
A strength.

For in La Luna's light
A heart comes to know

A truth.
A peace.
A promise.

The light reflected,
the love life shows.

© SKGray 2002 / AfterDark / Crowe's Perch

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Rain In The Window

Rain in the window
Should close it, I think
But why should I even try?
I want my face wet
with raindrops like tears
'cause I have none left to cry.

Blood red paints purple
The sun's here, I see
Darkness should soon melt and fade.
But dawn's bruise lingers
behind swollen eyes
and day meets heart like a blade.

Lips on my shoulder
Loss echoes, he knows
There is no well like sorrow.
Damp cheek held to chest
hands soothing my hair
give me what I must borrow.

© Deb Boyer 2002 / Crowe's Perch / AfterDark

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Frustration Fresh From Fighting Dragons

Frustration fresh from fighting dragons
socks in the middle of the floor
royally piss me off
(I am not your mother)

Even more battle bloodied, angry
the demand is denied, refused with prejudice
socks aren't the issue
(I hate it that you're right)

Drama doesn't do a damn
You just laugh, having my number memorized
I pick them up
(Because I want what I want)

Too much underfoot of ourselves
stumbling over the obligative obstacles outside 'we'
each other is there
(It is such a thin line)

Space please, leave me be
eat whatever the f*ck you want to
but don't bug me
(I wish you would go away)

****

Just the job, only temporary
but now with too many solitary days
Time's in slow motion
(I remembered to lock the windows)

Scrub floors, there's a notion
Being pridefully pleased with the shiny sink
says boredom's gotten serious
(I laid awake without snoring to bother me)

Tomorrow won't come soon enough
Varied muses can muffle empty stillness, but
never quite the same
(I turn up the music)

****

You unpack while I laugh
hearing of animated adventures after the fact
My heart is home
(I welcome you back good and proper)

Talking of everything and nothing
down the alley for a beer, sharing
incandescent moonlight colored kisses
(I need you, better or worse)

Later, fur-shaded nude in charcoal
etched stubble sandalwood sweet, gruff abrading comfort
Lovely long legs sleep
(I can watch you for hours)

Shaking you gently to bed
doors are locked in exhaustion, living room
decorated with your socks
(I leave them where they are)

 

© Deb Boyer 2002 / Crowe's Perch / AfterDark

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The Longest Night

It seems to last forever, yet
Is too short by infinity
Those last breaths so precious
Stinging the eyes and filling the heart
With dread
Watching the clock
A vigil made intolerable
By the readiness of your best friend
To go
All you want to do is hold him
Hug him to you whisper
How much you’ll miss him
How much you love him, while he
Just wants to be alone
In a moment of selfishness so engulfing
That you try to make him stay on the bed
To be near him
He weakly licks your tears, begging you
Please, just
Let me be.
Let me go.
And so you break
And cease to bar his way
And watch his weak body once strong and youthful
Pour off the bed as he drags himself
Under the chaise lounge
Without even a look over his shoulder
Waiting for this night to end
His own vigil begun long before
You even knew it was time.
Good bye, my sweet boy.
I love you.

Her time was near
But oblivious you watch the clock
Daylight forcing it’s way through the blinds
Thinking, the vet opens at 8:00
Sleep eluded you while your girl
Restless jumped on and off and on the bed
Wanting to be with you yet
So uncomfortable that she can’t keep still
The disease having ravaged her perfect body
Invisible war within.
Finally just as your eyes close for a moment
You feel the weight of her
Graceful to the end
Join you in the dark
For what seems like the thousandth time
The lamp goes on and
There she is
This brave proud girl
Beaten into submission in her youth
Who never once locked eyes with you
Out of habit
Is gazing into your eyes
Goodbye, she says
And you stare back, not sure what this is
Until you kiss her
And she turns and shakily lands on the floor
For the last time.
Aren’t you glad you followed
Because she knew it was time
They always know.
Why must they be alone
When they leave?
Some mystery we can’t understand
Yet you got the chance to hold her
One last time
Good bye my sweet girl
I love you.

© Chili 2002 / Outback / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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Real Conversations on Unrequited Love

I told my friend, there can never be another
Man of such perfection.
Not of such intelligence, not of wit
Not of physical beauty
Where would I find him?
Who would love me? Who would
Touch me again that way
And make me soar?
He looked at me, quite calm
No look of pity, no scorn
And said
Why do you think him so wonderful?
What is it in you, in
You
That makes you raise him to such levels?
And I stammered
In me?
In
You.
There is a need in you
To make him so much larger than life
There is a need in you
To make him unreachable.
That’s when he settled down
And leaned forward in his knee
Like a lioness crouching, watching her dinner
Is his touch really so full of love?
Of love?
Does his touch convey a need for you
Or as a means to his own pleasure?
Needs
What needs of yours does he fill?
Is his shoulder there for you when you cry
Or do your tears fall wasted onto the floor?
Does he love your laugh?
Or is his the smirk of satisfaction at his own joke?
Is it?
Does he?
Are you?
Blink. Blink.

Alone is when you wonder
You ask yourself questions that don’t dare
Show themselves in the light of day.
What is it I’m looking for?
What is it I need
When I look at him?
He is not beautifully chiseled hard chin strong brave
He is weak
His need is to
Make me want
To keep me wanting
Because if he gives, then…
What is left?
If he gives, he thinks that the nothing inside of him
Will be gone
He refuses to love because that gives me power
And powerless and wanting and needing is where
He needs me to be
But we’re still on him
What about me
What about me needing him?
What mirror am I holding up
What reflection am I seeking?
A selfish man terrified of his own emptiness
Must fill up his holes with my tears
Must fill the well, pretend that there is substance
When there’s none.
Why do I need him?
Is it the challenge?
If I melt him, make him love me
make him
Will, then, the power shift?
Will I then have the power to hold back
To hide
To withhold?
Is that what I want
Revenge?

I see
I told him.
I can see it clearly.
This man is so g*ddam calm,
My friend.
I see.
I know you do, he said.
I never soared.
I know you didn’t.
I was in the sand, got my shoes all dirty
Never left the ground.
Nod.
He wanted to please, but he could not let go
Of that need to keep himself to himself
I know.
Stop saying that, I say.
Calm.
He was not that handsome.
No. He isn’t.
He is a fish. With glasses.
That made him laugh.
But he gripped my hand when the over came
The Over. The Good Bye.
So you said, he said.
He gripped it like he was hanging off a cliff and I could
Save him.
It kept me going for weeks, that grip.
I clung to it like he clung to my hand.
Why then?
Why did he seem so desperate at that last moment?
He needed you to love him
He said
But he didn’t want your love.
Love means responsibility.
Love requires a response.
Accepting love meant accepting that he's lovable
And this he could not do.
He did not love himself
How could he, then, love you?
For, if you love him, terrified and shaking
Right down to his soul
Then something must be wrong with
You.
You are the weak one
To love him.
You are flawed to love someone so flawed.
How, then, could he love you back?
He could not.
And so he moved on to the next woman
So very flawed to love him.
And so he will be until he faces his own fear.
Made no sense to me.
I didn't really understand, though I hugged him goodbye that day.
I have not seen my friend for years
But then
One day while planting roses in the garden
Hands rich with the dirt from whence I’d never soared
Even though I thought I had
I sat straight up from where I knelt and said
I see.

© Chili 2002 / Outback / Russell Crowe's Beautiful Minds / Crowe's Perch

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February 12th

The phone reaches out
And chokes my heart
Biting cold receiver gushes
Hot, wet cries into my ear
It was not my night to stay

Trembling hands clench the wheel
Home bathed in flashing red
My heart rejects the evidence
It was not my night to stay

A desperate husband/father
Too ill himself to stand
Performs a frenzied CPR
It was not my night to stay

Engulfing nauseous sterile white
Confirmation from a stranger
Drives my keening heart to cower
Behind hastily constructed walls

It was not her night to stay

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Just Words

artistic
high.

well beyond midnite.
chipped ivory keyboard
but in tune.
three perfection parched throats
thirsting.

elusive notes blended
hung about
seducing the air
like an open mouth
kiss.

oh yeah.

the silence
cupped
in awed stillness.
ecstacy
accomplished at last.

witness?
none but the trio.
afraid to break the
splendor with mere
mortal words.

but
yeah.
well beyond midnite.
it hangs there still.
Eternally quenched.

© SKGray 2002 / AfterDark / Crowe's Perch

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