To break up such a long awards ceremony, we had to have a few commercial breaks... and some inventive FOLCs (see credits at the end) decided to have fun with the concept... <g>
As posted to the ceremony (by me) and excerpted from the log:
Monster Savings For Everyone!
Kal's Klothing Barn Is Having A Going-Out-Of-Business Sale!
Save tons on really 'out-of-this-world' men's ties! -- Colorful, Crazy, & Cute! -- We got 'em all!
Charcoal-colored suits by the rackful! -- Bolts and bolts of unused Spandex! Make us an offer!
Located at the corner of Hyperion and Clinton!
A really super place to shop!
Tell 'em Jor sent you!
Don't shrink your head using our competitor's product, Deter-poo! Have good, clean fun with...
L&C Shampoo!
Extra-strength relief for those times when you'd swear a bomb just went off in your stomach!
New PEPCID-TNT!
The Man's Antacid!
(Burp!)
Soft and luxurious, and feels good all over your body! Enjoy our quality cotton, and our wide variety of colors.
Puts the "steam" back into your shower!
Cain's Fine Bath Towels -
Your best choice for a sensuous wrap-up!
-Superman saves airliner from certain disaster!
--The Concorde is saved by Superman's quick thinking! How *does* he do it?
---Small plane on collision course with the Washington Monument, diverted by Superman!
Batman accuses Superman of using super-breath to blow aircraft out of the sky!
-Earthquake rocks a small town in California! Superman saves the day, given key to the city!
--Superman saves Girl Scouts from nest of poisonous snakes! Parade held in his honor!
---Crops across the mid-West saved by Superman's ingenuity! 'I have a special place in my heart for farmers,' he says.
----Litter of kittens swept away in storm adopts their savior, Superman, as surrogate mother!
Batman demands equal time, tells Superman, 'Stay out of Gotham City, this is *my* town!'
SEE THESE AND OTHER STORIES TONIGHT, AT 11:00, RIGHT HERE ON LNN!
"Futuresport!"
Yes, we know it looks like a cross between Rollerball and Baywatch, but we're betting you won't notice, when you see that "Futuresport" gets out onto the streets to fight crime wearing only a helmet and a speedo!
Coming this fall to ABC -
"Futuresport!"
This Presidential election, isn't it time for a change in Washington?
A return to traditional values, but with a modern sensibility.
(show the Kent family)
Cast your vote for small-town virtues and big city sophistication - Vote Kent for President!
(show the candidate on the campaign trail)
It's time for a candidate who's more than a little different.
So, this November (or possibly February) ...
(music swells)
Vote Kent for President!
(Paid for the Committee to elect Martha Kent)
No job too small, no lock too tough!
Got a burning need to learn what's on the other side of a locked door?
No Problemo!
Breaking and entering never a problem!
You lock 'em, we'll lick 'em!
Call '1-800-BREAK-IN' today!
We can take even the least skilled would-be singer (insert "Clois" swallowing frog) and train that person to warble like a happy canary (insert Lois in chicken suit)!
Whether you'd like to sing opera (insert Lois from White Orchid Ball), in night clubs (insert Wanda), or in the shower (insert Clark in shower), you'll be so glad (insert any hubba-haba-heeba scene) that you enrolled in...
Hatcher's Music School & Voice Training Academy!
Located on Clinton Street, next to Deborah Joy's Institute Of Dance (insert Lois and Superman dancing on air).
Call now, or stop by and visit!
Try the new, improved Clark's Bar!
Longer lasting, and bigger than ever!
So big it'll never run out on you unexpectedly!
Chocolate coated on the outside, Creamy goodness on the inside!
The sweet, wholesome treat that really packs a punch!
A delicious experience you'll never forget!
CLARK'S BAR!
When Nothing Else Will Satisfy Your Hunger!
It's a plane!
It's, uh, none of the above!
DUH!
It's Superman!
Collect all four action figures now, and be the envy of your planet. Each pose-able figure featured with his own super-villain!
Collect 'em all today, and prepare to defend your homeworld!
(Batteries, cape and 'S' shield sold separately!) Proceeds donated to: The Superman Fund For Homeless Kids!
Want to see your star on the Metropolis Walk of Fame?
Murray Brown's Talent Agency is the place to be!
For a modest fee, Murray will put in lights!
Murray says, 'Hey, Superman trusts me! How dishonest can I be?!'
If you need someone to share your most intimate thoughts with, someone who will listen to your most intimate fantasies, try MIRC!
Metropolis Intimate Relations Counseling!
We listen when no one else will!
In fact, we go out of our way to encourage your fantasies! And confidentiality is never an issue here at MIRC. Only you and your twenty or thirty counselors will hear the stories you reveal!
So remember, when you feel 'the need' to reveal yourself to the world, give MIRC a whirl!
(This has been a paid advertisement, sponsored by Dr. Friskin, personal advisor to Superman and friends.)
Featuring the warbling tones of
Miss Wanda Detroit!
Catch her while she's here! --- Return engagements not guaranteed!
>>>We regret to announce that Gabby's Deli has been permanently shutdown by the Board Of Health. All lingering cases of uncontrollable gagging should be reported to your physician immediately!
Metropolis Board Of Health - Because We Care About You!
. . . .Pots and pans flying around your kitchen?
. . . . . . . Mouth-watering, unexplained smell of frying bacon?
Who ya 'gonna call?
Star & Katie -
One living, one dead -
Both at your service!
Bonded and guaranteed!
TONIGHT'S KERTH AWARDS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THESE AND OTHER SPONSORS:
Fair O' Moan Perfume - He'll never know what hit him!
Mrs. Belconte's Steak Sauce - Add some 'spice' to your life!
Nestle's Double Fudge Crunch Bars - A taste you'll crave over and over!
The Daily Planet - 'The Conscience Of Metropolis'
Kryptonite Lightening Rods! - We attract lightening bolts like Lois Lane attracts trouble!
Metropolis Mercantile Bank - Superman visits so often, your money couldn't be safer!
Radio Station WLEX - Music for a new re-generation!
H. G. Wells Travel - Presenting new dimensions in travel excitement!
and
Zoom-A-Way's Space Shuttle Service - from Earth to New Krypton in the blink of an eye!