Warnings : Angst, Twisted ppl with twisted ideas (no I am not talking about me! *glare*), Harsh language and the first chapter is lemonish while the last chapter is Lemon *goes red* Ah almost forgot there's probably some OOC in there too *nods*
I'll let you get on with the fic but first I just have to say that I'm swedish which means that english is not my first language so please have that in mind when you weep from the bad spelling and the grama-errors…
TELL ME TO STOP
Chapter 2 - The Strangest Dream
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Did I ever ever tell you
That I dreamed of you last night
Is there anything I can do
Cause I wanna hold you tight
Did I tell you I was dying
When you turned away from me
Took away my sweet sweet heaven
And I lost my destiny
-ModernTalking, Just Close Your Eyes-
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The chimera snarled as he walked down the road. He had gotten enough sleep but not any rest due to the weird dreams. Now he was kranky and painfully aware of the delicate woman walking slightly behind him. It couldn't go on like this! If he had to stay with Amelia he would go insane or even worse, his desire would overpower him. He just couldn't let that happen. There had to be some way for him to make all this stop.
"Zelgadis-san, is something wrong?" Zel moaned inside. The soft sound of her voice was enough to make the lust pound inside of him.
"No," he growled to her and walked faster. Why was he so mean to her? It wasn't her fault he had all these feelings and desires for her.
"Oh okay," she answered with hurt. Don't be so mean to her! a voice inside his head spat out, She's done nothing wrong!
"I'm sorry Amelia I'm just in a bad mood," Zel sighed to smooth things over and looked at the Princess over his shoulder. He could see the hurt in her face and could have kicked himself for being the reason it was there.
"Didn't you sleep well Zelgadis-san?" This time it was the caring in her voice that made his body ache after hers. "Bad dreams? I had a really strange dream last night," Amelia said with an odd tone. The chimera looked at her again and found her blushing at him.
"Some of them were bad… Eh what was your dream about?" he asked quietly. The Princess blushed even more and lowered her eyes.
"It was…" Amelia studdered with embarrassment and cut her sentence off.
"It was?"
"Well it was about you and me… I was acting very strange and trying to…" She blushed even harder. "To eh seduce you." Zelgadis felt his face go red. Could it be she had had the same dream he had?
"Oh," he commented and cleared his throat. The silence between them felt awkward. Zel corrected his clothes which seemed to be very much in the way. What was going on here? Okay so he had these desires for Amelia. But there was nothing he could do about them. He would kill himself before he hurt her and hurting her was exactly what he would do if he let his lusts take over. And yet… The chimera had never in his life felt such a need for another human being. Never before had he longed so badly just to be able to hold someone. Inside he was crying, crying because the one thing he knew he needed and wanted more than anything he couldn't have.
"Zelgadis-san?" Amelias voice pulled Zel away from his depressing thoughts.
"Huh?" he asked in confusion.
"Are you alright?" the Princess asked with her soft voice.
"No I'm not…" Zelgadis twitched at his own answer. You moron! he scolded himself. What the hell did you tell her that for?
"It's your dreams, isn't it?" The chimera stopped, turned around and stared at the young women. Before he could say anything she walked up to him and hugged him. Zel tried not to breathe, tried not to inhale her scent 'cause he knew it would drive him over the edge. But she felt so good in his arms, so soft. Without thinking he wrapped his arms tightly around Amelia's fragile body.
"Zelgadis-san…" she said quietly and ran her fingers through his wirery hair. I'm gonna wake up at any moment now, Zel sighed inside, and it's all gonna be a dream.
"Amelia… I'll just hurt you," the chimera finally said and tried to convince himself to let her go.
"I'm not made out of glass, I promise you won't break me just by touching me," the Princess objected with her face pressed against his neck. Zel swallowed. That was the exact same answer she had given him in that dream. The feeling of her breaths against his skin made his pulse pound harder.
"I'm a chimera and you're a…" Zelgadis tried but Amelia cut him off.
"Zelgadis-san you should know by now that I don't care about that… Actually it's almost offending that you think so little of me after all these years," she sighed. "I don't care if you're a chimera or not… I like you for being you Zelgadis-san." The chimera swallowed again and tried to sort out his thoughts. She liked him for being himself? She didn't care about his rocky skin or his freakish apperence?
"Amelia I…" This time she cut him off by taking a step back and raising her hand.
"I know you feel awkward around me Zelgadis-san. Ever since I joined Lina and Gourry all those years ago you've been feeling awkward. It's like it hurts you to be around me. I don't want you to hurt Zelgadis-san. It's really the last thing I'd ever want," Amelia said quietly. She had moved away from him, putting a painfully clear distance between them. "I've been thinking about that alot lately, ever since I tried to protect you and got hurt instead. You don't need me and I don't think you want me around. That's why I've decided to leave. I'm gonna go away so you can live your life the way you want to." With those words the Princess turned around and started walking away. For a moment Zel stood frozen with fear. He couldn't let her go, not now, not ever.
"Amelia!" he almost yelled after her. She turned around and smiled a little at him, but her eyes reflected the sadness and pain this caused her.
"Don't worry about me Zelgadis-san. I'll be fine and I know this is the right thing to do. My father wants me to come back to Seyruun so I'm going back there to be the Princess I'm supposed to be." Lost in despair the chimera watched Amelia's back as she walked away. He was still standing there long after the Princess had vanished between the trees.
Zelgadis stared at the strange room infront of him. There was nothing in it except two doors standing by themselves. One was slightly open and the other one locked, sealed, bulted and blocked. He understood that it was a dream but he didn't understand why he was there. The door that stood ajar was black, ugly and he could feel a cold coming from it while the other door was guilded in gold, beautiful and smelled like a summer morning. It was obvious that the two doors represented a good and a bad side. But a good and a bad side of what? The chimera walked up to the golden door, that was the obvious choice for anyone, and shook it. Nothing was going to go through that door. No matter how much strenght he put in his attempts to open it the door refused to give in. Suddenly he heard the sound of footsteps. Between the two doors a woman appeared. Her left side was beautiful, young and sweet while her right side was ugly, twisted and cruel. Zelgadis sighed. This dream was completely loony toons.
"Zelgadis the Chimera," the double faced woman said with two voices. Just like everything else one was beautiful and the other one was ugly.
"How do you know my name?" he growled to her.
"It is strange," the beautiful side of the woman said slowly and completely ignored his question, "for weeks we've tried to show you the way and still you refuse to change your path. Is there perhaps more stone in your head than in your skin?" Now she was mocking him? Zel glared at her.
"Who the hell are you?!" The ugly side of her let out a cruel and cold laughter.
"You seem to be right my sister. This chimera is by far the dumbest one I have ever seen," it chuckled. It wasn't until the beautiful side of the face smiled that he realized that half this woman was a perfect copy of Amelia.
"Amelia?" he asked in confusion.
"Not quite right Zelgadis but then again not completely wrong either. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I'm Right and my companion in this body is Wrong."
"Oh please," Zel snorted and rolled his eyes. "Right and Wrong? That's lame even for a dream!"
"Ah my dumb chimera this might be so much more than a dream," Wrong snickered. "Don't you know all living things have to make a choice in life?"
"We are the ones that guide you but for some reason you refuse to listen to us," Right continued where her sister had ended.
"What are you talking about?!" Zelgadis demanded to know.
"The dreams Chimera, the dreams!" Wrong spat out. "You've been allowed to see two sides of your story and still you make the wrong choice!" Right calmed her sister down and they both came closer to him.
"Zelgadis why didn't you stop her? Why did you let her leave you?" Right asked in sorrow. "Don't you know the value of her love?"
"What are you talking about?!" Zel almost screamed. "She left me! I didn't ask her to! I need her but she still left me! Just like everybody else have!" Scared by his own words the chimera fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands.
"Zelgadis you have to let people know that you need and care about them. No human can go through life alone. You weren't made that way," Right said softly and put a hand on his shoulder.
"But I'll…" Zel's words trailed off. "I'll hurt her. She so fragile and my body is made of stone. I'd rather die than allow her to be hurt," he continued when he managed to speak again.
"Hm so you haven't hurt her so far?" Wrong frowned. The chimera hung his. Whatever it was that caused him these weird dreams it sure seemed to know exactly what buttons to push.
"Zelgadis… You're talking about hurting her with your touch, your skin right?" Right asked quietly. He nodded and looked at the two-faced lady. "Have you ever touched her?"
"Of course I have touched her!" Zel growled and blushed slighty.
"Well than have you ever hurt her?" Okay so that made sense he had to give the dream that much.
"Not that I know of," he admitted.
"Then how can you possibly know if a caress or a kiss will hurt her?" Right looked at him with her blue eye.
"Okay so you might be right there but what if I'm not willing to take that risk?"
"We don't know if you will hurt her or not, the only way to find out is for you to try. And you still have to make a choice…" Right answered.
"But what's gonna happen if I make the wrong choice? Zel asked quietly.
"You've already made the wrong choice," Wrong sighed and a glimt of compassion appeared in her cold eye.
"Now, now he still has a tiny little shot af fixing this," Right objected. Zelgadis felt his heart and his hope sink like a boat with a huge hole in it. It was hopless.
"A tiny little shot," he moaned. Right gave him a kind smile.
"That's still better than no shot at all my dear chimera. It will take some work and changing from you but I can promise you that it will be worth the effort in the end."
"But what if I fail? What's gonna happen to me if I fail?" Zel asked although he rather not know. Right and Wrong frowned as one and came closer.
"Nothing." The chimera blinked and started shaking with anger. All this drama and nothing was gonna happen?
"Nothing?! You mean that if I make the wrong choice nothing is going to happen to me anyways?!" he barked at the two-faced woman.
"He's too dumb to understand anything," Wrong snorted to her sister.
"You're being unfair," Right sighed. "The reason he doesn't understand is because he doesn't know any better. You forgett that he's lived like this for a long time."
"Stop talking over my head!" Zelgadis yelled. "What is it that I don't understand?"
"You don't seem to grasp just what your life will be like if you make the wrong choice," Right answered with a tired voice.
"But you just said nothing would happen!? He didn't understand, they were right about that. This was all so strange, so hard to take. Inside he screamed in protest. This is just a dream! It couldn't matter what the Right/Wrong person said. And still he couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, this was closer to reality than he felt comfortable with.
"Are you happy?" Wrong's question pulled Zel away from his train of thoughts.
"Happy? What do you mean?"
"Are you happy with your life? With yourself?" He wanted to say yes so badly but the truth was that he wasn't, couldn't be, never would be because he was trapped in that cursed chimera-body.
"No I'm not happy," Zelgadis finally answered with a sigh. "How can anyone be happy being a freak like me?"
"Amelia doesn't seem to think you're a freak," Right smiled. "Can't you just for once forget about how you look and think about how others see you?"
"They see me as the freak I am! Ugly, hard and freakish!" he screamed in pain. Wrong raised her eyebrow.
"Ah so that must be why Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Filia and Martina consider you their friend then?" Zel refused to look at the two-faced woman and staggered to his feet.
"Zelgadis if you make the wrong choice your life will never change. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year will be exactly like it is now for the rest of your life," Right sighed. That was not an appealing thought at all. Zel could see himself wandering the roads alone, old and defeated by loneliness.
"You have to choose the right door Chimera or you will perish in your own gloom," Wrong said and the strange woman turned around.
"Wait! I can't open that door, how am I gonna go through the right door if I can't open it?" Zel yelled after Right and Wrong.
"Who said you had to go through the door?" they answered together without turning around. "This is just a dream to you Zelgadis, but the thruth is that the only thing blocking the right door is yourself. It's blocked by you because you think you don't deserve to be able to open it" And then she was gone.
Chapter3