Chapter 8
The soft twinkling sounds of the jazz ensembles met them as they reached the head of the stairs. Usagi frowned a little, it seemed all of New York had already arrived at the gala. She felt several eyes gazing up at her and Mamoru. With a charming grin he began the long descent to the ballroom.
"Fashionably late my darling."
She smiled up at him, straightening her back, taking her first step into the world of the New York elitists.
"As always."
He chuckled, running his tongue over his lips. Her eyes followed the movement, blinking as his tongue slid back into his mouth. She cursed the fluttering sensations in her stomach, the tingling of her spine. She cursed herself for loving the fact that his arm was around her and not around any of the other women in the room.
She ducked her head as several more people turned to gaze at the newcomers. They did make a handsome couple, her in her golden dress, him in his crisp tuxedo. They weren’t just the happy couple anymore, it seemed that they both exuded sensuality with their charming smiles and subtle touches.
"They love you."
His mouth was at her ear, his breath warming her skin. With a small twist of her body she had squirmed out of his grasp and made her way to the foot of the stairs alone. She looked over her shoulder at him. Her heart catching in her throat. Usagi had never seen a man so handsome as him. Nor had she seen such a handsome man smiling down at her with a look like that.
"I think it’s you they love, Mr. Chiba."
Usagi smiled widely as the twinkling melody of a Frank Sinatra piece was replaced with the passionate sounds of a tango. Her eyes found the dance floor, watching with a smile as couples flittered about to the staccato rhythms.
His arms snaked around her waist, holding her gently to his body. His chin resting on her shoulder. Usagi frowned a little, a seed of doubt planted itself deep into her mind. When had their relationship changed from blunt irritation to subtle flirting? And since when did she smile at him as if he were the only man in the room? Usagi forced a smile as a group of people called them over. Did she want it to go further? Because that was the direction they were heading in and she knew that if she let it get too far he’d leave her in a crying mess after a night of ‘fucking’.
"Ah, the happy couple. Usagi, might I say you look wonderful."
It was Dr. Ashgrove and the board of executives from the hospital. Usagi inwardly cringed. By now, the news of her ‘marriage’ with Mamoru had probably spread very far across New York.
"Thank you Dr. Ashgrove, although I was afraid you’d ask me to wear my Santa Hat."
The table of men burst into hearty laughter. Mamoru simply stood by Usagi’s side, his arm protectively wound around her waist, his smile not faltering.
One of the executives patted Dr. Ashgrove on the shoulder with a huge grin and a cigar hanging from his mouth. Usagi felt like rolling her eyes in disgust, instead, she simply smiled.
"Not only is she a gorgeous, talented surgeon, she’s a witty one at that. Don’t let her go Ashgrove. She’s just what this hospital needs."
This time Usagi did roll her eyes, no one but Mamoru noticed. His smile widened, his arm fell from her waist. With a set jaw, he leaned over and shook the executive’s hand firmly.
"Thank you for making my fiancee feel like a piece of meat. Now if you’ll excuse us gentleman."
Usagi didn’t know what to say. Her shocked expression was evident of that. Mamoru had just threatened her position…once again. But even more a surprise, the table of men burst into laughter.
"Ah, young love. Such a charming pair. You two go off and have fun. Mamoru Chiba you joker you. I love this kid."
Usagi and Mamoru both were smiling fakely as they made their way from the table of pompous men.
"That was…different."
Usagi smiled up at him, winking slyly.
"Ah, welcome to my life you joker you."
He chuckled, slipping her hand into his and swinging her to his body. His free hand snaking her way around her waist. She felt a blush spread across her cheeks. He was too close.
"Well, would you care to dance with this humble joker?"
"Har, har, humble my ass. You just want to grope me."
"Why hide it?"
Usagi felt herself melting into a puddle of love goo. Her sour expression contrasted greatly with her rapidly increasing heart beat.
"I’m glad I picked this dress."
She rose an eyebrow, punching him lightly in the shoulder.
"Dream on. Your fashion sense sucks."
He chuckled, twirling her outwards and then back again. She couldn’t help but notice the force of which he pulled her back to his body. The tightness of his grip on her hand. Her mind carried her away to a fantasy land where Mamoru fell in love with her.
They had been dancing for some time now. Softly murmuring comments of sarcasm or insults to keep the mood light. Usagi, it seemed, was not the only one that had found her thoughts leading down the road of love.
Mamoru too was toying with the idea of waking up to Usagi’s smiling face every morning. But for him, the idea of intercourse was far more appealing than the idea of marriage. Real marriage. Usagi marriage. Perhaps a semi-long term relationship could work…but nothing more than that. Mamoru didn’t want to be tangled in the web of Usagi’s emotional distress. It was too much for him.
"Mamoru?"
"Mmmm?"
"What’s your favourite fruit?"
He frowned. What did it matter? Why was Usagi so random? Could he live with a random partner? Mamoru’s frowned deepened. What did it matter if he could or couldn’t live with a random partner.
"Bananas."
She laughed, her husky, knee bending laugh.
"Why bananas? Trying to make up for something you lack?"
He smirked, pulling her tighter to his body.
"Bananas are indescribable Usagi, it’s as simple as that. I desire things I can’t understand."
"Ah, so you can’t understand me?"
He laughed. He loved her wit. The biting sarcasm. He loved the speed in which she could counter his insults, comments, his praise.
"What about you, Usa?"
"Cherries."
He smiled coyly, looking down at her as she peered past his face.
"How cliché of you Usa. Let me guess, you like to tie the knot of the stems with your tongue as you seduce a man."
Her eyes rolled as she laughed. Usagi punched him lightly.
"Cherries are bold."
"Cherries are bold? How so?"
"Well…they’re deceptive. The image that they project contradicts the actual taste."
"Really? I never knew."
She rolled her eyes again.
"Yes, really. They lure you into believing that they are cute and seductive with their looks, but when you take that first bite of a cherry, you realise you’ve been had. They’re really a bold tasting fruit. Tantalising even. They don’t have to exploit their image to be desirable."
"You sound as if you’re speaking of a Renaissance painter."
She smiled widely.
"No, just cherries."
"You really do love cherries, Usagi."
"Yup. You really do dance well, Mamoru."
"Thank you."
The two of them sunk into their own thoughts. Analysing each other as they had analysed their own favoured fruits. It was a long while before Usagi spoke again.
"It’s funny…"
She had just murmured the two words that completely summarised their entire relationship. It’s. Funny. Their whole relationship was funny. Usagi, the insecure doctor wanting nothing but a sensitive new age guy, and him, the playboy lawyer wanting nothing but a romp in the bedroom and hating the sensitive new age guy. The irony made him smile inwardly.
"Hmmm…?"
She lifted her head form his shoulder to stare into his eyes. He felt the tightening inside him. The need to drown in that smile for the rest of his life. He felt the inner battle begin. The one that had him caught between loving Usagi or running from the situation into the bed of one of his many lovers.
"I was just thinking about us. Our relationship. It’s funny."
The distant sounds of his emotional warning bells began to ring. Had she been contemplating the same thing he had?
"How so?"
Her head rested onto his shoulder again. Mamoru felt the ache for her smile ebbing its way into his emotional storm.
"Well two weeks ago I hated you more than anyone else. Now I’m dancing with you and…"
She trailed off into a light laugh. It sounded almost paranoid to him.
"And?"
He could feel her hands clenching into fists. The reaction of a secret keeper.
"It’s nothing." Attempting to keep the mood light, Usagi laughed and swatted his shoulder playfully. "Don’t be so serious."
He smiled widely, he could see the look in her eyes. Fear predominantly but there was something else. Desire perhaps? He couldn’t quite finger it.
"It must be something Usa. You’re blushing."
Indeed she was, and it deepened as he ran a gentle finger across her reddening cheeks.
"I…"
He pulled her closer to him, their bodies firmly pressing against each other. His hands slid across her bare back to rest where the material of her dress prevented the feel of her skin. The silk material swayed delicately as she moved in time with the music.
"Yes?"
"I…this song is morbid."
"Usagi…please don’t change the topic."
"It is. It’s a morbid song. Why the hell is Mariah Carey singing about death?"
"I hardly think that has any importance in this conversation."
"It’s a lovely song. The Wind, I believe is it’s title. It’s charming. What were you going to say?"
"When?"
"Just now?"
"Nothing."
"Usagi."
"Mamoru."
"Usagi."
"Fine! I was going to say that I had been thinking about you a lot lately. That you were on my mind almost constantly and it was nice. Happy?"
She had moved away from him. The two of them standing a good distance apart on the dance floor. She, panting loudly and frustrated. Him, staring, with wide-eyed shock.
Usagi cursed at herself. Why the hell did this anger her so much.
‘Because you want him. You want to love him. You want him to love you. And that pisses you off Usa.’
Usagi ignored the hissing voice in her head. She didn’t love Mamoru. She couldn’t. She could never love a pig like him.
‘But you want to Usagi. You want this whole façade to be real don’t you?’
The voice was right. She wanted it to be real. That was why she was angry. He was the type of guy she lived to scorn. To hate. To avoid. And she had let him into her already fragile heart. She hated him for that. But she hated herself more.
Mamoru watched Usagi look about her in anger. They had gathered themselves quite an audience. With a snort of disdain, she spun on her heel and stormed away.
"Forget it!"
He watched stunned, as her retreating figure stepped on to the balcony. Sure enough, he pursued. She stood, bare arms encircling one another as the cold New York air assaulted her. She looked a treat under the moonlight. Wisps of her hair had fallen free, framing her tense jaw.
"I don’t know why you bother chasing after me, Mamoru."
He joined her, slipping out of his tuxedo jacket to wrap it around her bare arms. She uttered a small thank you. He could hear the regret in her voice. See it in her eyes. That pained him a little.
"And I don’t know why you bother running, Usagi."
She laughed a little, leaning her elbows onto the thick marble railing, her chin resting in her hands.
"What am I to you?"
He closed his eyes. He didn’t expect this confrontation so soon. He hadn’t prepared himself for this. He wanted to lie. He wanted to say that he loved her. That he wanted to be by her side forever. But that would ruin any chances. She would see through that. He knew he wanted to be her lover but he…
"I…I don’t know if I love you Usagi."
She nodded. Something she had expected. Something he expected too.
"I mean. I think about you. Just as you said you think about me. It’s hard not to. You’re remarkable. I haven’t let myself get so caught up in a woman before. It’s a little frightening."
"Yes. I can see how I can be frightening."
He frowned, his hand resting on her back, stroking her through his thick jacket.
"No, I have enjoyed it. Immensely. I’ve been having the time of my life but…"
She turned to him then. Her eyes naked. Full of emotion. Her lips a straight line of thought.
"But you don’t feel for me."
His hands cupped her face. It was cold from the chilly wind. Her skin was so cold. He had expected her to cry. He had expected a scene. But there was nothing. Just emotions.
"I feel for you. I’m just…not ready to commit myself to loving you. I never have for any woman."
"I’ve spent my whole adult life avoiding relationships with men like you. It’s so typical that the one man I hated most would be the one that wangled his way inside."
He laughed at this. Both of them relieved that the tension had been broken.
"I’m sorry for wangling."
She smiled, moving closer to him, leaning her cheek against his chest. His arms automatically wrapped around her body. They stayed like this a long time. The tinkling melody of the Mariah Carey song caressing their silent figures.
"Mamoru?"
"Usagi."
"Could you?"
He traced the line of her jaw, looking deep into her eyes.
"Could I what?"
"Could you love me?"
His gaze moved over her head, to the falling snow that blanketed the street below them.
"I think…"
"Could you try?"
This time his gaze fell to her eyes. They were filled with hope. And promise. Mamoru asked himself the question over and over again. Could he? Could he give up his life? Could he for Usagi? Could he? Usagi. Love. Could. Would. Try.
"Yes."
She smiled. Her head falling to his chest. Her arms winding a little tighter around his body.
"So I guess this morbid song is our song then?"
He laughed, lightly smacking his hand across her butt.
"It’s a lovely song. The Wind, is lovely."
They both laughed this time. Just as a cold gust of wind picked up outside.
"Come on. Lets go inside, Usagi."
"Ah good idea. But first, I have to make a trip to the bathroom. I’ll be back."
She wiggled out of his grip and smiled back at him, making her way to the ladies. She entered the small circular foyer-like room that housed the entrance to the two bathrooms. A woman stood, gazing at her reflection in the mirror.
"Hello. I couldn’t help but notice…you’re…you’re the woman I spoke to at the Niche a few weeks ago aren’t you?"
The woman spun around with a small smile on her face. Her once dark locks were hidden beneath a golden wig, spun into a French twist, similar to Usagi’s own style.
"Yes. That’s correct. I can’t believe you recognised me. I’m Ami Mizuno."
Usagi felt her eyes widening.
"You’re…you’re Dr. Mizuno?! Oh my lord. Dr. Mizuno. It is such an honour to meet you." Her hand extended, taking Ami’s into its tight grip.
"Oh thank you so much." A pink blush stained her cheeks. "And you are?"
"Oh. Gosh where are my manners. I’m Usagi Tsukino. I can’t believe it’s really you."
Ami smiled widely, turning back to the large mirror.
"So you’re the woman who is rising in the New York ranks. You’re name has been spread across the world Usagi. You’re very well known in Japan."
Usagi laughed and shrugged. "I have a wonderful mentor."
"Thank you. So what do you think? Motoki, the guy I’m here with, absolutely loves it. He wants me to dye my hair." Ami dramatically rolled her eyes. "As if. Isn’t it cold tonight? I feel as if I should be used to New York weather by now. And in Motoki’s tuxedo jacket I feel like such a geek but it’s just freezing. Especially in here."
Usagi laughed and lifted her own arms.
"Drastic times call for drastic measures. Anyway Ami I’m busting, I’ll see you back in the ball room yeah?"
"Sure thing Usagi. It was a pleasure to finally meet you."
Usagi smiled. "You too. You’re definitely better as a brunette."
Ami’s laughter could be heard in the large bathroom causing Usagi’s smile to widen. Contentment was a new thing for her.
Mamoru smirked a little as he watched Usagi with her back to him, staring intently at the painting on the wall of the foyer to the bathrooms. She had straightened her hair so that there were no loose tendrils. His smirk turned into a smile as she gingerly wrapped her arms around her body, trying to warm herself up. He thought she would be used to the New York winters by now. She never ceased to surprise him.
He found himself unknowingly striding towards her. Wanting to feel her in his arms again. When had he become so dependant on contact with the fiery blonde? Nevertheless he had made it to her with an abrupt pace and slipped his hands over her eyes. She was surprised and took a step back into his chest.
"Guess who."
She shivered as his hot breath touched her neck. Her body relaxed a little as she realised it was him.
"I think I have an idea…"
Her hands rested on his arms, gently stroking the thin silk of his tuxedo shirt.
"You’re so warm."
He smiled at her curious tone. She was speaking in a soft whisper. As if they hadn’t had this close contact ever before. She was almost tentative with her touch. It wasn’t like the bold Usagi he had held before they had even decided to give a relationship any thought.
"You’re not, I take it."
He didn’t see the small smile curling on her lips as he slipped his hands to rest on her waist. He didn’t see that her eyes remained closed as she turned to kiss him. He didn’t see that he was holding Ami Mizuno as if she were his lover. He didn’t see it was Dr. Mizuno until her lips had found his and her hands had wrapped around his neck.
Usagi Tsukino saw it all from her position in the doorway.
~*MUAH*~
When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down because I’m already here.
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