Author: Cher
Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Rated: R for language
Stark White Christmas
"You didn’t?"
"I did."
Both Nephlyte and Kunzite burst into laughter. Usagi had just finished the tale of her evening with Mamoru. Minako and Makoto stared at each other in utter shock.
"Usagi you haven’t had a date in months and you finally get one and act the way you do. No wonder you’re the single one of the group."
"Mako, it wasn’t a date. I was reluctant to go in the first place. Would you rather be having a conversation about how the bastard broke my heart two months later by ditching me when he thought I was poked out?"
Makoto sighed. "Of course not. It’s just that Mamoru would have been perfect for you."
Usagi scoffed at her friend. Was she crazy?
"No Mako, you know I don’t just go for looks."
"But it’s not just looks."
"Mako how would you know? My perception of Mamoru Chiba is hardly anything I’d be proud to base a relationship on. There is no way I would ever give my heart to him."
Minako reached across the table to squeeze Usagi’s hand reassuringly.
"I’m glad you told him where to go Usa. He’s an overgrown mammal."
Usagi smiled. "Glad one of you two has your senses."
Makoto rolled her eyes. "Just don’t go crying to me when you realise what a great catch you threw away."
"Ha. Trust me Mako, that’ll never happen. I’m almost glad. Since that night he’s left me alone at the hospital. My job is almost peaceful now. To a degree at least."
Her friends smiled.
"As long as your happy Usa." Makoto looked so tired. Usagi wished that for once she could just stop worrying about her. It was sweet but it was unnecessary.
"So who are you going to go to the gala with?"
"Uh…yeah about that, I’m probably not going to be attending."
"Usagi."
"Makoto."
"You promised me."
"But what’s the fun if I have no date? And I’m not exactly going to ‘show up’ Mamoru as you put it by attending dateless and frumped to the max."
"Go with Motoki."
Usagi raised an eyebrow. It was definitely an option to consider. And to be honest with herself she was looking forward to get dolled up and deny Mamoru any pleasure whatsoever.
"You know…that could be a good idea."
Makoto grinned.
"Just think how steamed Mamoru would get when you show up looking like a million dollars on the arm of his best friend."
Usagi grinned back at Makoto. "He’d be furious."
"It’d be priceless to see."
Usagi mused this. It would be a great opportunity to throw everything in Mamoru’s face. How she’d love to see his look when she walked in by Motoki’s side. This would definitely be fun.
"I take it you’ll be attending the hospital gala this Saturday Motoki?"
Usagi and Motoki were sitting side by side by the lake in Central Park, enjoying a picnic in the snow covered gardens.
"For sure. I wouldn’t miss that for the world."
"Why’s that?"
Usagi had the conversation planned in her head. She’d casually bring up the gala, idle chat would follow then, oh so innocent, she’d ask Motoki if there was anyone he had in mind to attend with.
"It’s going to be my first official date with Ami."
Usagi nearly choked on the slice of apple she was eating.
"You’re seeing Dr. Mizuno?"
"Yeah, we met for dinner one evening and really hit it off without Mamoru there."
"But…she was sleeping with your best friend."
"Yeah and I plan on treating her a little bit better than that."
He really sounded like he cared for her. Usagi smiled bitterly. Her plans for the gala drifted further away.
"Something wrong, Usa?"
She shook her head. "No. Just work, stressing me out you know."
"I think I’m just starting to hit the tip of the iceberg."
"Yeah? Why’s that?"
"Well since I’ve grown closer to Ami, we speak every night and she’s been telling me her workload. I can’t even begin to imagine working as much as she does."
"I think I live it."
He laughed, slinging his arm around Usagi’s shoulder and squeezing her.
"I’m backing you up every step of the way."
She smiled at this. He was a great guy beneath his cocky exterior. She was proud to call Motoki her friend.
"Thanks. It’s nice to have a friend who doesn’t nag. I appreciate it."
He kissed the top of her head.
"Don’t mention it. Since I’ve met you life has changed."
"Yeah, you don’t hang out with Mamoru as much."
"True." He said this with laughter. She smiled. He had no idea how serious she really was.
"So who is so lucky as to be taking you to the gala?"
Usagi scoffed, "no one. I’m not even sure if I’ll be going."
"Don’t be silly. Come with Ami and I."
She shook her head. "No Motoki, I don’t want to infringe on your first date."
He smiled. "If you change your mind…"
"I’ll call you."
"I could set you up with a friend."
"That sounds almost tempting, however I know who your friends are."
He laughed again.
"No Mamoru I promise."
"It’s okay Motoki, if I want a date I’m capable of finding one for myself."
"Sure you are."
She punched him lightly in the arm.
"Don’t use that tone with me Motoki."
"What’ll you do?"
Usagi grinned devilishly as she scooped up a handful of snow and hurled it into Motoki’s face, starting an all out snowball war.
It had been two days since the confrontation, as Mamoru liked to call it. He was still absolutely furious with Usagi. She had not only ruined one of his favourite Armani shirts, she’d also managed to utterly humiliate him in front of New York’s finest.
Yet beneath all the anger that was accumulating into a pounding headache, Mamoru felt a sharp pain. Could he really have been hurt by her? He told himself over and over it wasn’t possible. Women don’t toy with his feelings. It was the other way around.
Throwing back a shot of vodka, Mamoru strode to the phone, staring at her number scrawled carelessly onto a piece of message paper.
Motoki and himself had pleaded with Usagi’s secretary for almost a half hour to get her address and phone number. He wanted to call her. To hear her voice and laugh at her witty comments.
Mamoru slammed his eyes shut. He was so furious with her and still felt impelled to be with her. This woman was sending him over the edge.
In a rage, he smashed the shot glass against the wall, watching as the vodka poured down the intricate designs. What was wrong with him?
"Damn it Usagi."
Yanking off his tie, Mamoru stalked to the phone and dialed Rei’s number.
Two hours. It was all she had left. Usagi had been working flat out since 5am. It was now 4pm. She had gathered from the stern look of her superior that the board was not so happy about her misplacing of the Santa Hat. She would have to buy a new one no doubt.
Usagi checked her patient list and almost groaned. A new patient had just been brought in with an almost unpronounceable name. She hated that.
Sighing loudly, Usagi made her way to room 3M.
The door was decorated in red white and blue colours, she smiled at this. Definitely a patriot. Stepping inside, Usagi saw a man in his late 50’s, thick dark hair hanging to his shoulders, curling about his tanned face. He had a thin moustache accompanied by a small goatee. Who did he remind her of…?
"Good afternoon Mr. Irving."
The man’s eyes lit up at the sight of Usagi. His smile warm and recognition in his eyes.
"Usa?."
How did he know her name? His accent was definitely French. Not an American but a Frenchman. She frowned at this. Usagi didn’t know any Frenchmen.
"Hello…Dar-tagnan is it?"
He laughed, a thick joyous laugh. Sitting upright in his bed, his arms opening wide.
"Usagi Tsukino, you look at me as if I’m a stranger. Come give your Uncle Dar a hug."
She smiled a little wearily. Did she know this man? Uncle Dar…of course! Uncle Dar! Her mothers dear friend from France. Oh she had spent many summers adventuring through his vineyards. What on earth was he doing in her hospital? She smiled widely this time, briskly making her way to beside his bed. Her arms wrapped around his body with ease. Laughter escaping both of them.
"What are you doing here? Oh Dar, it’s been forever. How are you?"
He chuckled, smoothing her mussed hair. Kissing her softly on the forehead.
"I’ve been better my little Bunny. You have grown to be a very beautiful woman. Just like I knew. We knew you would."
"I heard about Toni. I’m so sorry Dar. You were lucky to have such a beautiful wife. So tell me about your illness."
She untangled herself from his arms and began to check his vitals.
"The pain, it is the same pain. Antoinette, she made me promise to come to Americas and see you, Bunny, get medical attention that I need. I will not fail her. If it should mean I stay on this world without her longer than so be it. Her promise is all that is keeping me alive."
Usagi stepped up beside his bed. Taking his hand in her own and measuring his pulse.
"I’m sorry Uncle Dar, do you have pain in your chest?"
"Oui, like the devil himself is squeezing my heart."
Usagi frowned. Cancer, she guessed, maybe a tumor.
"Headaches?"
"Ah oui, like glass shredding my very mind."
His descriptions were all she needed. This was definitely a tumor.
"And did you have a doctor in France?"
"Oui, he say to show my Bunny doctor the test results. In my briefcase."
Usagi nodded, taking the case from the floor. Inside was a file, marked, URGENT. She opened the file, confirming what she had believed. The French doctor also diagnosed the tumor, stating that the medical equipment in their small town by the vineyards was not efficient enough for Dartagnan’s operation.
She also noted that it had been four months since that doctors diagnosis. Alarms were screaming in her head. It was possible that she was too late to save this man’s life. In the case of a severe tumor it could be a matter of days.
"I see by your frown the news is not good."
She looked up at him, his smiling face, he looked so happy.
"No, not good at all. Do you have family back in France that I could contact?"
"Non, my family was my wife. We couldn’t have children, you knew that, why do you think we were so fond of you Bunny? It’s just me now."
"No. It won’t be just you, you’re a part of our family Uncle Dar, always."
He smiled up at her, squeezing her delicate hand gently.
"Alright, judging by your test results and your descriptions it’s definitely a tumor. It’s been four months since your diagnosis am I correct?"
"Oui Bunny, the close of the grape season, I waited until we had all the grapes picked before I saw monsieur Dellaway. He say ‘Go to America’s like you promise your wife. Get operation. Go see your Bunny.’ He is a nice man."
"Yes." She sighed, taking an unsteady breath. This was always so hard. Even harder when her patient was so close to her heart. "I’m going to be frank with you Dar. Because of the lapse of time since your diagnosis we don’t have that much time. In the case of a serious tumor we can operate but I can’t guarantee a successful operation. But if it is small, we can operate and you may walk away a healthy man. In any case those are our two options. Operate or just…"
"Let me die a happy man."
"It’s up to you."
Dartagnan looked out the window with a placid face. Usagi felt so drawn to him. It was like his whole being was surrounded in joy. She smiled, reminiscing of the days when they would laugh and play together.
"Time."
She smiled, sadly. "Yes, we don’t have that much of it."
"May I think about this?"
"By all means yes. I have an hour break coming up in half an hour. Shall I return then?"
"Oh oui Bunny, that would be lovely. Is your mother in town?"
Usagi kissed his forehead, urging him to lay back into the pillows.
"Yup. She lives in New York now. Shall I get her to call?"
He took her hand in his, turning it upwards to rest a feather light kiss on the back of it.
"Oui, it would be lovely to speak to her again. Thank you my Bunny."
"It’s the least I can do Dar. It’s my pleasure."
He patted her hand softly.
"The pleasure is all mine. So good to see you again. You know, you have some of Toni in your eyes, Bunny. So full of dreams and hopes and beauty. I see you in half hour oui?"
"It’s a date."
"Oui, a date."
With a sadness in her heart and a scuff in her step Usagi left his room. She had operated on complete assholes and saved their lives and here was a man who deserved nothing more than a happy life. A man who watched her grow with an unchanging smile. A man who offered her the world just by allowing her to roam his French vineyards. A man who she most probably couldn’t save.
Lost deep in her thoughts Usagi hardly noticed the business man coming straight for her, sorting through files while rushing to a meeting perhaps. The two collided. Sending Usagi’s medical files along with his own files up in the air, scattering about the busy hallway.
"Fuck." Usagi swore, bending over, retrieving what she thought to be her patient file which was really his case outline.
"I’m so sorry, this is such a mess. Lets just get it out of the hallway and sort it out somewhere a little less…"
"Usagi."
She sighed.
"Mamoru. Small world eh?"
He was gathering papers, she couldn’t see the mask covering his rage as he cleaned the mess.
"Indeed."
She didn’t need to see his clenching jaw or the fire in his eyes. She did, however, hear his anger in his biting tone.
With a sigh, Usagi collecting the papers around her and finally stood with an armful.
"Any damage and…"
"I’ll take care of it Mamoru. Come on."
She didn’t have the courage to stand up to him. Her heart was still trembling from the trying moments with Dartagnan. All she could do was lead him to her office. Unfortunately she couldn’t avoid her superior coming straight for her.
"Dr. Tsukino."
She closed her eyes, turning slowly.
"Dr. Ashgrove, I’m very busy."
"I’m aware. Shouldn’t you be attending to patients?"
Usagi rubbed the bridge of her nose in utter frustration.
"Yes but there was an accident and…"
"No buts Doctor. You’ve got injured patients that are waiting to see their surgeon."
"I know Sir however due to the accident this man’s paperwork and my own…"
"Dr. Tsukino if I have to explain to one more of your patients that you’re surely on your way than it will be your job on the lines. Accidents regardless."
Mamoru chose this moment to step into the argument, holding out his hand. Usagi could feel the red blush staining her cheeks. She didn’t need his assistance.
"Mamoru Chiba. I’m sure you’ve heard of me." Ashgrove shook his hand, nodding slowly.
"See the thing is, we had a little run in, in the hallway. You know how busy they are. All our paperwork is mixed up. Usagi was just taking me up to her office to sort it all out."
"Mr. Chiba, I can assure you that if you leave your paperwork with Dr. Tsukino she will get it back to you safely however I can’t have my leading surgeon attending to far less important matters than her patients."
"Well I have cases to attend to just as Usagi has patients but I can’t do anything till I get my paperwork."
"There are no excuses Mr. Chiba. We need her doing her check-ups."
Mamoru turned to Usagi, noting her red face and pleading eyes. He smirked.
"No excuses?"
"In the case of a family emergency we could let her off."
Usagi saw the grin, it was too late. Her eyes widened in understanding, prompting Mamoru to continue. He leaned forward to whisper in Ashgrove’s ear, loud enough for Usagi to hear.
"I was actually going to ask her to marry me. You sort of ahem…" he looked at Usagi and smiled. "…ruined the surprise."
This time Ashgrove’s eyes widened. "Mamoru Chiba finally settling down. And to think. With our very own Tsukino. Oh congratulations Mr. Chiba. By all means go up to her office. You two love birds spend some time alone. I’m sorry I spoiled it. Oh wait till the others hear about this. Congratulations."
Ashgrove hurried away, stopping each time he saw a doctor or nurse to spread the happy news.
When Mamoru turned to face Usagi she was shooting him the dirtiest glare she could muster. Shaking her head, she turned on her heel and stormed to her office.
She was standing inside her office when he finally caught up. Naru was informed to take a message in the case of her patient check ups. She had strict business to attend to.
"Close the door."
Her tone was as cold as ice, Mamoru completely ignored it, slamming the door shut behind him. A tense silence filled the room. Usagi was scowling at Mamoru’s grin.
"How dare you." She finally broke the silence.
"How dare I what?"
"Oh fuck. By this afternoon the whole hospital will be under the impression that we are engaged. Tomorrow the entire upper class scene of New York will be talking about us. Do you ever think before you put one of your hare brained schemes into action?"
He shrugged, toying with her diary which sat on the corner of her desk.
Usagi snatched it out of his grasp, opened the drawer, threw it in before slamming the drawer shut.
"You have no idea do you? I am under the most intense scrutiny of my life to perform up to New York’s standards and you waltz in here and pull a stunt like that. My whole career could be jeopardised because of this."
"Relax would you. It was a joke. Are you going to help me sort out these files or are you just going to stand there hissy fitting?"
Mamoru straightened in surprise when her hands slammed down onto her desk.
"A joke? Do you really think Ashgrove is the kind of man to pick up on a joke? This is my life Mamoru. I thought I made it clear where I stood at the Berlin Bar."
She struck a chord there. This time Mamoru stood, throwing the papers he held onto her desk.
"You sure did make it clear where you stood. I never thought I was a horrible judgement of character but I certainly pinned you all wrong. To think I was under the impression that you were different to the other women I socialised with."
"To the other women you sleep with."
He glared at her. Throwing his hands in the air he began to pace.
"You completely humiliated me in front of the elitists of New York. Not to mention you ruined my shirt. I admit you’re a great surgeon but that gives you no right to act the way you did."
Usagi groaned. He was so….urgh.
"I don’t take kindly to you sleeping with my sister and flirting with me."
"I had no feelings for Rei!"
She didn’t expect him to yell at her like that. Usagi was so shocked that she fell back in her chair. She watched his chest rise and fall, his fists clenched tightly. She hated him so much.
"Rei told you that our relationship was completely physical. Why are you acting like I performed the worlds nastiest crime by admitting that I cared about you enough to worry that you worked too much."
She saw him flinch at the word care. She also felt the rage build up inside her. Standing angrily, Usagi stormed around to the other side of her desk. She rose her hands to rest on his chest and shoved him backwards.
"My family care about me. My friends care about me. My patients care about me. You, Mamoru Chiba do not care about me."
She had been poking his chest aggressively. "The only thing you’re worried about is whether or not I’ll be a good enough trophy for you just like Ami Mizuno was. And this time Motoki won’t be there to pick up your pieces when you leave me heartbroken because he’s to busy sheltering the heart that you broke when you told Dr. Mizuno that she was getting too attached.
"I’ve had it with men like you trying to lie their way into my life. I’m sick of seeing my friends fall in love and when I try it and when I think I’ve found the perfect one all they want is a quick romp in the bed. Yet they can string me along for months, act like they’re committed like they love me and when I finally do give in they walk out the next day like it was nothing. LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! WELL IT WAS SOMETHING FOR ME!"
By that stage, Usagi was pounding her fists into Mamoru’s chest. The build up of emotional hurt flowing out with each word. She didn’t care that she had just told Mamoru her deepest secret of heartbreak. She just wanted him to hurt. To hurt for what the others like him had done and for what he was trying to do.
"Usagi stop it."
She pounded harder.
"STOP IT!"
He grabbed her wrists with his hands and held her arms above her head.
"Let me go. Damnit let me go."
She was sobbing. Tears falling freely down her cheeks.
"Calm down Usagi."
She couldn’t stop crying. Hating that she had let him see. Let him see why she was so cold. That she was so hurt so long ago and that it still strained her emotions.
She was sniffing loudly, the tears coming to a slow stop when she looked up into his eyes. Her own quivering in pain. He stared straight down at her with an intense gaze. She was so fragile.
Mamoru felt her story clutch his heart. This was what it was like for the women when he left. Why didn’t he ever see the callousness of it? Why did he feel so vulnerable to love when he stared into Usagi’s eyes filled with tears and pain.
They were so close. So dangerously close. Usagi moved her eyes to his lips. The straight line of his lips. Why wouldn’t he just leave.
"Damn. Damnit. Just leave."
Her voice was thick, broken by the occasional sob. He was so attracted to her. He felt the urge to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the pain.
Mamoru still held her arms above her head, he had backed her against the book shelf opposite the door. She was still crying. Each tear was like a blow to him. He let her arms go. They dropped to her sides limply. He lowered his hands to her either side of her face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
"I’m sorry."
"What for."
"For thinking I could be your friend. For…trying. For hurting the women before you."
"You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I stopped you before it was too late. Good thing you were wearing your favourite shirt."
He laughed. Her smile warmed him. He caressed her face slowly.
"I really did just want to be friends."
A lie. He knew it. He wasn’t ready to tell her the truth. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore than she already was.
She didn’t answer. She was brushing invisible lint off the lapels of his jacket. Her eyes not daring to meet his.
"I was so confused, you let Motoki in but you left me out in the cold. I didn’t know what was going on. I guess I tried to hard."
She scoffed at this, slapping his chest lightly.
"Motoki didn’t look at me like a piece of A grade meat, Mamoru."
He smiled bitterly, "he did. It was just a case of you not looking."
Usagi shook her head. "Well regardless, he has Ami now. And you have Rei. Who I’m sure you’ll be taking to the gala on Saturday."
"She has plans with the crystal boy."
"Jadeite? How long is he planning to stay in town?"
"Don’t ask me. Bastards deprived me."
Usagi rolled her eyes. Toying with his jacket, calming herself down.
When the door burst open she jumped back, still holding his jacket, pulling him up against her.
"There they are. The happy couple. Oh look at them, sneaking in a quick rendezvous before going back to work. Usagi dear why didn’t you tell us?"
Usagi hung her head. It was two elderly nurses and Naru standing in her doorway. The nurses looked utterly overjoyed. Naru stood with an apologetic stare.
"It just…" she glanced at Mamoru who was smirking "it happened so fast is all. He only just proposed."
Mamoru, in shock of the intruders had stood at her side, uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets.
"So, show us the ring."
She looked up at him with wide eyes. With a dazzling smile, Mamoru took her hand in his, linking their fingers.
"I was in such a hurry to ask her that in my haste I completely forgot the ring."
"Aren’t they adorable Natalie? I can’t wait to see them at the gala. Oh won’t it be a wonderful sight?"
"Definitely Catherine, I wish my flamingo head would treat me that way. To think, he thinks that bending coathangers is romantic."
The two nurses walked away gushing. Leaving Naru smiling at the couple.
"Sorry about that. They just burst in. Congratulations. I’ll leave you two alone."
The minute the door shut, Usagi yanked her hand out of his. Rolling her eyes.
"Looks like I’ve found my date for the gala. Wonderful."
Mamoru smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"I’ll pick you up at 5.30. Get that paperwork to me whenever you can okay?"
Usagi rolled her eyes again. "Whatever."
He opened the door, blowing her a kiss.
"Farewell my love."
Several passing nurses had stopped to giggle at the couple.
"Till we meet again darling, I’ll be lost without you by my side."
The giggling nurses along with Naru sighed dreamily. The only person who heard her sarcastic tone was Mamoru. He matched it with a smirk.
She had only just remembered her arranged meeting with Dartagnan and hurried into his room ten minutes later than planned. He was staring out of the window, a small smile on his face.
"Ah Bunny, ‘ello, ‘ello, please sit down. You look flustered."
With a smile, Usagi lowered herself into the small chair beside his bed. She was tempted to pour out the whole Mamoru situation to her old friend.
"I’m just overloaded with work is all. Tell me about Toni?"
He smiled, a genuine smile, his eyes filling with mirth. Dartagnan stroked his moustache gently as he began to tell Usagi about his wife.
He loved her, so much that he lived for her memory. Even with her dead, this man was happy, happy to have shared with her the love that was theirs. Usagi sighed, how she longed for a love such as his own. Such passion. Such joy.
"…anyway, something is troubling you Bunny?"
She looked up, tears brimming in her eyes. Taking his withered hand in her own she squeezed it tight, smiling weakly.
"Nothing you should be worrying about Dar. Now, tell me, have you made a decision?"
Her breath was caught as he nodded. He looked so sad, so horribly forlorn.
"I want you to operate. Take the tumor, let me live for her."
Usagi nodded.
"Are you absolutely positive?"
He nodded, patting her hand. Encouragement. She laughed inwardly at this, her patients were encouraging her. This was new.
"I am positive Bunny, I want it this way."
She nodded. Going through the procedures with Dartagnan. He would be operated on the Saturday before her gala. It would certainly keep her mind off the jerk Mamoru.
"Thank you Usagi, you are a fine doctor."
She laughed.
"We’ll see."
*~MUAH~*
When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I’m already here.