NOTHING APART
8 - A fatal mistake
Lina watched the seven bandits as they moved closer to her and Gourry. They did look like mercenaries even if their clothes were torn and dirty. With an evil smile she draw her sword instead of using her magic. These people needed to be punished but it would be too easy using her magic.
"Well, well, well. Looks like we didn't finish the job last time boys," their leader laughed when he saw Gourry.
"Don't worry we'll finish you this time," Lina growled and pointed at him with her sword.
"Give us your best shot." The bandits drew their swords and attacked at once. Three of them came at her while the leader and the rest of them went after Gourry. Lina soon understood why Gourry hadn't been able to beat them. They were very well co-ordinated and saved as much strenght as they could. In the corner of her eye she could see that Gourry was in trouble. The last fight that had left him badly injured and blind had destroyed his confidence and now he was losing ground with every strike. To her surprise Xellos' appeared next too Gourry with a heavy cudgel in his hands. The Priest wasn't very strong as a human but he was presistant. His help at least gave the tall swordsman some room to breathe. This whole fight was begining to irritate Lina so with two Fireballs she destroyed two of the bandits and then chased the third one away with a deadly glare from her eyes. But when she turned towards Gourry and Xellos' she saw that the battle was in no way won. Gourry had rendered two of the bandits but the leader was still on him and the last bandit was coming down hard on Xellos'. Suddenly Gourry tripped and fell to his knees. Lina gasped as she saw him fall, readying a spell to destroy the leader if he struck down at him. But instead of finishing Gourry off he turned to Xellos'. The Priest was standing with his back against this man and wouldn't see him in time to get away. With a smile in his shaggy face the banditleader raised his sword to bring it down on Xellos'.
"Digger Bolt!" Lina yelled and releast her spell. As in slowmotion she saw the Digger Bolt travel towards the bandit but just as it reached him Gourry struck him down. With a scream of fear Lina saw her spell hit Gourry in the back sending a cascade of blood into the air. For a second Gourry stood, staring at his stomach and the blood coloring his clothes red. Then he dropped his sword, gave Lina a confused look and sunk down on the ground. First she couldn't move. She just stood staring at Gourry and the pool of blood that was flowing over the ground.
"Gourry! No!" she yelled in panic when she finally could move again, and ran up to him. Shaking with fear she dropped to her knees and lifted up the blonde man's head onto her lap. With tears running down her cheeks she pressed her small hands against his body and cast her healing spell over and over again.
"Don't." A hand over hers stopped her. Devastated she looked at Gourry's face. For the first time since they had split up so many weeks ago his eyes looked like they used to.
"It's okay Gourry I'll heal you, I will," she sobbed and took his hand.
"It's too late for me Lina," he smiled at her and caressed her cheek. "Today is a good day to die," he continued and touched her hair.
"No I won't let you die Gourry, I won't let you," she screamed and hugged him. "It's just so much blood, so much blood. But I'll…" He interrupted her with a smile.
"Promise me two things before I die Lina?" he asked her and coughed. Blood started running from the corner of his mouth.
"Anything Gourry, I'll promise you anything, but you're not going to die," she whispered.
"Promise me that you won't grieve me or punish yourself. It wasn't your fault," he moaned as his body trembled with pain. "And never forget that I love you, even if I never got around to telling you." Lina stared into the face of the man she loved and saw her tears mix with his blood. With a trembling hand Gourry pulled down her face to his and gently kissed her lips. Lina could taste his blood on her lips and still her heart pounded harder with love. With a sigh his hand fell from her face.
"Gourry I…" She silenced as she saw the color leaving his face. His chest did no longer move and his eyes were blank. "No," she cried out and shook his boody. "No I won't let you die. I won't let you die! Please don't leave me Gourry!" But her cries got no response. It was too late. In a matter of minutes she had lost the only man she had ever loved. "I killed him," she whispered and started rocking back and forth still hugging Gourry's body. "I killed Gourry. No, no, no this can't be," she kept on crying as she pressed her face against his. "Please help me! Somebody please help me! I love you Gourry and now I have…" Her words turned into sulks as she hugged Gourry's dead body closer to her chest and burried her face in his hair. This can't be happening, she thought to herself and draw in the smell of Gourry's hair. It was impossible! He was dead and he had never even got to know that she loved him. With her face wet from tears and smeared with his blood she screamed out her regret over what she had done.
Xellos' managed to get a direct hit at his apponent just as Lina's spell hit Gourry. With disbelief in his violet eyes he stared at his two companions as Gourry died right before his eyes. Now he understood what his instinct had been warning him about. Lina had killed the man she loved. Xellos' fought back the tears that watered his eyes. He mourned Gourry and he mourned Lina's loss. Will she ever be able to live with what she had done, he asked himself. How could anyone go on knowing that a mistake they made had killed someone they loved? And then the General Priest of Xelas Metallium cried over the fact that this was his fault, not Lina's. She had told him to stay out of this fight but he had interfered. Gourry had died while protecting him and Lina had fired off her spell to protect him as well. Xellos' closed his eyes and moaned. He was the one responsible for the death of Gourry. He was the one responsible for the hurt, sadness and despair in Lina's eyes.
It seemed like it took her forever to let go of Gourry's now cold body. Her clothes were covered with his blood and so was her face and her hair. Tears were still filling up her eyes and her whole being was trembling. This was like a nightmare to her. One that she would never wake up from. Over and over again she saw the same course of events in her head. Her Digger Bolt hitting Gourry and the blood that spurted out of his stomach. Slowly she shook her head to get the ringing out of her ears. She looked at her hands. Her white gloves were soaked with Gourry's blood and she could still taste his blood in her mouth. Lina closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. When she opened them again she saw Xellos' staring at Gourry's body. The Priest hadn't said a word and he hadn't moved. His cloak was spotted with blood and his face distorted with sadness and pain. Slowly he lifted his eyes from the dead man lying on the dusty road and meet hers. She saw the tears flowing down his cheeks and the sadness in his eyes. It surprised her that that man, who for over a thousand years had been uncapeble of feeling any human feelings, was so shaken by Gourry's death. Those thoughts made her move her eyes from Xellos' to Gourry's body again. With a scream Lina fell to her knees and hugged herself.
"I killed him!" she cried out and started rocking back and forth. "Oh dear Gods I killed him!"
"It was my fault," Xellos' said with a sad voice. "It's because of me Gourry-san is dead." Lina shook her head.
"How could it possibly be your fault?"
"If I had done what you told me to do, that man," Xellos' almost whispered and pointed to the body of the banditgang's leader, "wouldn't have come after me and this would never had happened." For a moment Lina clinged on to those words. Tried to use them as an excuse, as a way out from the horror that she had done. But it didn't work she was still the one who had fired off that spell.
"No, Xellos' it wasn't your fault. If you hadn't helped Gourry when you did they would have killed him. And besides it wasn't you who…" Her words vanished as she started crying harder again. "Why oh why didn't I check to see where he was? Why didn't I trust him enough to let him do this his own way? Why didn't I leave him alone when he told me he didn't want me to follow him? Why didn't I tell him that I loved him? Why didn't I just use a spell to finish those bandits of right away… Why… Why did I have to kill him?" Lina cried out and pressed her bloodsoaked gloves against her face. Xellos' approached her and put a hand on her shoulder. With a scream Lina got up and threw herself around the Priest's neck. Crying from a wound in her heart that no time could ever heal she hid her face in his clothes. Xellos' held her tight, gently rocked her and wetted her hair with his own tears.
Another night had dragged itself passed her. It didn't seem to matter if she was awake or asleep, the dreams were still the same. Everywhere she looked she saw Gourry's face, heard his voice. In her pack she still had the clothes and the gloves she had been wearing that day. She hadn't washed them, she just couldn't bring herself to wash away the last memory she had of Gourry before he died. Every night she picked up her gloves, stiff from his blood, and just stared at them. It had been almost a week since that day. The day when she had killed Gourry. Every day she cried from longing and every night she wept as she cursed herself for what she had done. She had always thought that a person only had so many tears to shed, but now she knew better. There was no end to the tears or to the sadness she carried inside of herself. There would never come a time when she would be able to forgive herself for what she had done. Lina wiped away a tear and searched her cloak. In one of the pockets she found the lock of hair she had cut from Gourry's head before they burried him. It still smelled like him. With trembling hands she stroke the hair and again felt tears filling up her eyes. She knew that she had changed a lot in the passed week. Her eyes had lost their fire and her skin had become pale. But it was her hair that made people turn around to stare at her. On the left side of her head her hair had shifted colors. Strokes of once red hair had turned white. Lina had heard of people whose hair had turned white from fear but something told her that the white strokes in hers came from Gourry's touch. For it was there he had stroked her hair leaving it covered with his own blood, and now it was white. Just like the red blood had paled the hair's natural color.
In the room beside Lina's Xellos' paced the floor. Every day he tried his best to comfort Lina and every night he pressed his hands over his ears to try to block out the sound of her cries. It was killing him inside and it was killing Lina completely. The Priest sighed and closed his eyes. He had never before understood just how important one human's life could be to another. Never before had he realized that a human actually could die from sadness. Just as the sun tickled the treetops with its rays he again heard Lina beg the Gods for a chance to have it all undone. Suddenly the air around him started to shift. Xellos' opened his eyes just in time to see his room turn into the huge hall belonging to Xelas Metallium. With confusion he turned to face her with a deep bow.
"Beastmaster-sama."
"Ah Xellos' there you are," she greeted him and nodded as a reply to his bow. "I've decided you've been punished enough. It's time for you to return to your duties." With a wave of her hand his rod appeared. Almost automaticly he changed back into his normal clothing. Xellos' could feel his powers return but it gave him no pleasure.
"I will never be punished enough," he slowly said and met her eyes. It's true, he thought to himself. Even though he could no longer feel like a human he could still remember how it felt. He would never again be the same and he would never forget how Gourry had died to save him.
"What are you talking about?" Beastmaster-sama demanded to know and stared at him.
"A man is dead because of me, I will forever have his blood on my hands," Xellos answered and could see how this answer confused the Darklord.
"So? You've killed more living things than either one of us can remember, what's your point?" she asked and lit a cigarette.
"You couldn't possibly understand Beastmaster-sama," he started. "I did not kill this man, I was the reason he died. He gave his life to save mine. I was also the reason that Lina-san was the one who killed him even though she loved him"
Xelas stared at her General Priest. What was he talking about?
"You mean he sacrificed his life to save yours?" she asked and tilted her head.
"Yes."
"What a stupid thing to do," The Beastmaster muttered more to herself than to her Priest.
"It's not stupid for a human. It has to do with the feelings they feel. Someone elses life is often more important to them than their own," he tried to explain.
"I don't understand," she said and shook her head. "But what has this to do with you?"
"I may not be able to feel like them anymore but I will never forget what their feelings feel like inside," he said and put his hand over his chest. "I will never again be able to carry out an order that includes hurting a human being." Xelas could feel her anger flowing over but pressed her lips together and swallowed it.
"But you're a Mazoku," she objected and frowned.
"Yes I am Beastmaster-sama, but I will never again be what I used to," he sighed and lowered his head. Xelas' screamed inside at those words. She had been right she couldn't get her General Priest back to normal again. Her punishment had been too much.
"Damn!" she growled through clenched teeth.
"However," Xellos' said with a low voice, "there might just be a way to change all this that have happened." The Beastmaster stared at her Priest.
"How?" she asked and clinged to this last hope.
"I will tell you as soon as I've sorted a few things out, with your permission of course," the Trickster Priest said and lowered his head.
"Alright. Go ahead Xellos'," Xelas nodded and watched her Priest disappear.
Chapter9