NOTHING APART
5 - Realizing
Lina bursted through the door and ran down the stairs. Tears were flowing down her face. She didn't understand why Gourry was doing this. Why didn't he want her to stay with him? Crying from anger and despair she ran out on the street and kept on running until she had to slow down to catch her breath. She'd entered a park and now she fell to her knees trembling with fear.
"Why is this happening?" she cried and banged her fists on the grass. It hadn't escaped her that Gourry still was very much in danger. If they didn't find a Shrine-maiden to heal him soon he would die.
"Oh dear Gods why is this happening?" she cried out again. If Gourry died she would never forgive herself. Sure it had been his decision to leave her but maybe she could have stopped him if she'd just told him how she felt. Why, oh why, was it so hard for her to confess that she loved him. Lina's inside felt hollow and empty and she knew that this was nothing to how she would feel if Gourry died. It was just impossible for her to picture her life without that man. For four years he had been by her side and even if she'd known that one day he would leave, it had always seemed like she had so much time to make him understand how much he meant to her. But now she was running out of time. It might even be too late already.
"No," she moaned, "it can't be too late." All of this felt like a nightmare, a nightmare she couldn't wake up from. Slowly she got up and started walking back towards the Inn. There had to be a way to fix all this. She had to talk to Gourry again and make him understand that she never could leave him.
"Perfect," Xellos' said and looked at Gourry. The clothes he had picked out for the tall man was almost identical to the ones he always wore.
"Thanks," Gourry sighed and pulled his hand through his hair. He felt so weak. The cough wasn't gone and he could feel the fever coming back again. All Lina's effords has been a waste, he thought to himself. Sure the wounds were gone but this was rooted deeper inside of him. Nothing Lina could do would heal this.
"What's the matter Gourry-san?" the Priest asked.
"The fever is back," he answered slowly. "There was nothing Lina could do about it. You see even thought she tried so hard she couldn't heal me completely. I figured the wounds I had would have finished me off in a few days but now… Now it can take weeks before I die," the tall swordsman ended and sat down on the bed.
"Oh stop it! You are not going to die," Xellos' growled but he could see that this man was sick. The color in his face was dangerously pale and his eyes glisten with fever. Every move the blonde man made was jerky and his hands were trembling. Could it be, the Priest wondered, that Gourry is right, that he is in fact dying?
"Xellos' with every breath I take I can feel life slipping away. And before I die I have to leave Lina and try to get her to care as little about me as possible. It's the best thing for her," Gourry said and started coughing. The cough wouldn't even let him catch his breath as it tormented his lugns. It felt like his insides were being ripped out with every cough and his head was about to explode.
" I just can't let you do this to Lina-san. How is that the best thing for her? Don't you see how much pain it'll cause her?" the Priest asked not sure Gourry could hear him through his coughing.
"Like I told you before, if she doesn't care about me and I'm not around her when I die it'll all be less painful for her," he answered when the cough gave him a pause. "The best thing you can do for Lina right now is to help me get well enough to travel and then help me get away from her." Xellos' fought with all the emotions this caused inside of him. Why did it all have to be so difficult? And why couldn't he feel any joy in the fact that once the blonde swordsman was gone he'd have Lina all to himself? Again Xellos' damned this human mind of his.
"How can you think that of me?" Linas voice made both men jump. "Do you really think I could ever care so little about you that I wouldn't care if you died?" Gourry hung his head and fought back the tears.
"Lina I'm doing everything I can and this is the way it has to be," he said slowly and lifted his head as if to look at her. "I am going to leave you and there is nothing you can do to change that." The determination in his voice ached in Lina's heart.
"No Gourry, I won't let you do that. And I will not stand here and argue about it!" she screamed at him. "Right now we're going to find you a Shrine-maiden to heal you and then I'm taking you with me!"
"There's a Shrine-maiden at the temple," Xellos' interrupted. "I suggest we go and see her right away." The Priest faced Lina with his eyes closed.
"Yeah, I'm with you on that one," Lina nodded and walked up to Gourry. "Can you walk that far?" she asked him and reached out for his arm.
"Yes I'll be fine," he answered and stood up. Even if he couldn't see he knew she was reaching out for him but he ignored her and walked towards the Priest instead.
"Good than lets go," she said and turned away to swallow the hurt Gourry's action to keep distance between them caused. Xellos' sighed and took the blonde man by the arm to lead him.
The Shrine-maiden who met them at the temple was almost as tall as Gourry and her long black hair framed a face as white as snow. Her voice was sweet as honey just as her black eyes.
"This is the young man I told you about," Xellos' said and lowered his head. The Shrine-maiden nodded.
"Please follow me." She turned around and started walking down a corridor. Lina bit her lip as she watched Gourry being lead after the Shrine-maiden by Xellos'. With a sigh she followed them. Only a few minutes later they entered a room. Except for a table and two chairs it was empty.
"Please ask…" she started and looked at Xellos'.
"Gourry-san," the Priest nodded.
"Ask Gourry-san to take of his shirt and lie down on the table," she said and left them alone. Gourry let go of Xellos' arm and took his shirt off. Before he could reach for the Priest again Lina took his hand in hers and lead him up to the table.
"Lina it's better if you let Xellos' help me," the blonde man said with a low voice and sat down on the table. Lina closed her eyes for a few seconds and frowned.
"For who is it better?" she asked and backed away from him.
"For you and for me," Gourry answered. Lina shook her head well aware that he couldn't see her.
"It might be better for you Gourry but it won't be better for me and you know it," she sighed.
"My, my you really are nothing but two children," Xellos' interrupted them and sat down in one of the chairs. Lina was about to snap at the Priest when the Shrine-maiden returned.
"Ah good," she said when she saw Gourry on the table. "I'm going to see what's wrong with you first and then I'll heal you." Gourry nodded to this and laid back on the table. With her hands the Shrine-maiden followed the tall man's body letting her magic sense any damages. When she reached his head she frowned and closed her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lina asked with a worried look.
"He has a very serious type of pneumonia, which I can cure and I have to do a little work on his muscles in his left shoulder. But this blindness will be more difficult," the Shrine-maiden answered.
"Just do what you can," Lina nodded to the Shrine-maiden. The tall girl lowered her head at Lina and started mumbling the words to the spell needed. The mild white light that covered the space between her hands and Gourry's chest brought a humming noise into the room. After a while she moved her hands to his shoulder and continued her spell.
"That should do it. How do you feel?" she asked Gourry. The blonde man took a deep breath and tried to cough.
"The cough is gone and it feels like the fever is too," he answered.
"Good. Now lets see if I can give you your eyesight back," she said and put her hands over Gourry's forehead. "Close your eyes and try to relax, please." Gourry did as the Shrine-maiden told him and felt her magic cover his face and head. It seemed to take forever before she finally lifted her hands from him.
"I don't know if it worked," she sighed and leaned against the table closing her eyes from exhaustion.
"Only one way to find out," Gourry said and slowly opened his eyes. At first everything was a blur. Slowly his eyes focused his surroundings and he saw the Shrine-maiden, Xellos' and Lina.
"Are you okay?" Lina asked and hurried up to him. Gourry looked into her ruby-colored eyes.
"Yes Lina I'm okay. I can see again," he answered and sat up. But am I really okay? he thought to himself. He had a feeling it was only temporary, not that he could see again but that he was okay in general. Suddenly he had Lina's arms around him and her face against his shoulder. Her smell intoxicated him, confused his thoughts and a sharp flash of warning burnt inside of him. It told him that he couldn't let her get close to him, it would still be dangerous for her. Harder than he had intented he pushed her away. The hurt in her eyes was so painfull.
"I thought…" she mumbled searching his eyes with hers.
"I really want to go back to my room and rest," Gourry cut her off. "I feel so weak and tired."
"That's a good idea," the Shrine-maiden nodded. "You'll feel like that for a few days so take it easy."
"As thanks we'd like to donate money to your temple," Xellos' said and handed the Shrine-maiden some coins.
"That's very generous of you," she said and lowered her head as a thank you. Gourry put his feet on the floor and turned to the maiden.
"I'm very grateful," he thanked her and walked towards the door. Lina followed him with her eyes glued to the floor. She didn't understand. Why wouldn't he let her near him? What had she done that made him act this way. Lina sighed and dragged her feet. Gourry was still not himself. His eyes had changed again but not for the better. Everything about him was so cold, nothing like he'd used to be.
Chapter6