"THIS TIME AROUND"
by: gb
Chapter 3
As the two made their way back inside Myrtle’s boardinghouse, the sky overhead had turned darker and the air was thick with oncoming rain.
Ryan smiled to himself. The weather was definitely going to come in handy later on, he decided. He didn’t know why, but suddenly, that thrill he used to get back in the old days when was running one of his scams was taking over him. He was no longer able to live with himself if he was tricking people, he knew. But looking over at Gillian, he decided that it wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing if the deck was stacked just a little in his favor.
Outwardly, his face showed no sign of any planning going on- a tribute to his skills as the ultimate con man was this placid face that hid those gears in his head that kept moving right along staying one step ahead of the other guy.
In this case- Jake. Ryan like the guy enough. He was decent, kind, smart, great doctor- had his life together, unlike Ryan who seemed to need directions sometimes to get up in the morning. He knew Jake had been good to Gillian. Ryan’s anger would never have let the other man get away with it if he had taken advantage of the princess! Jake had been the proper gentleman and while Ryan had barely been able to stomach the idea of seeing him with his wife- he knew that it was not personal. He didn’t want ANYONE else with Gilli- except him, of course, though at the time, he really had seen no other choice but to leave.
But now, well things were different. Jake was going to have to find someone else. A part of him felt like a jerk- he KNEW how HE would feel if HE lost Gillian for good. But inside, he knew he could never let her go. She was just more than his heart could give up and he wanted her back so BADLY.
Sorry, Martin, he thought. I did try, but she’s my everything and I loved her before you did and need her more than you do…
They walked inside the living room and she turned to him and said, “Well, I had a nice time at the park.”
Ryan smiled. “Any time, Princess.” He wanted to reach out for her hand, but he knew it would be too much for her now and that was not the reaction he wanted from her.
"Well, I better go upstairs and see about getting ready for dinner…” she began, though she really didn’t want to go. Her eyes watched him intensely. Even now, her instinct was to reach out to him and seek his touches and try to get him to smile for her.
Ryan’s mind went to work and he soon had his plan in gear. In an off-hand, casual voice, he spoke up.
"Gilli, by the way, have you seen my blue shirt up in your room anywhere?” She was thrown off guard for a second. “What? Which blue shirt?” It was one of his favorite colors- he had lots of clothes in it.
"You know that dark navy, long-sleeved one that I got for work last summer?” he continued.
Gillian remembered. He had looked devastating in it, as usual- brought out his eyes’ shade of blue like crazy! She had not been able to take HER eyes off of him when he had worn it to dinner one night at Wildwind.
Gillian believed the term for what she had done was called ‘gawking’ as Hayley had informed her. Well, she had gawked at him like a lovestruck groupie does at movie stars and rock singers all through dinner until she thought her eyes would pop right out of their sockets!
She had almost missed her seat because she was so busy looking at him, she hadn’t bothered to see that someone had already pulled her chair out for her. Ryan had actually winked at her when he had said goodnight that evening. Mortified that she had been so obvious, she had fled to her room with more speed than she knew she had!
Aloud, she said, “I don’t think I have it. I don’t remember seeing it anywhere with me lately.”
“Mind if I take a look upstairs?” Ryan asked. “I really hate to lose it- one of my favorites, you know.”
Mine, too, she thought. She nodded. “Come on with me, but I have to shower and get ready to go out.”
He assured her he wouldn’t get in her way and followed her up the stairs to the room that they had once shared with love where she spent her life alone now.
He stepped inside as memories came flooding back to him- memories of happier, loving times for him and his princess- times when the world had been this room and their love for each other was all that had mattered. Every time he came in here it would be the same for him, he knew. He had been unable to stay here with her- he just couldn’t trust his desire for her at all- he had known what would happen if he so much as touched her and he had glumly moved out for her own good.
“But I want to stay here!” his poor heart had protested angrily. “I want to stay here and love Gilli!”
Ryan hadn’t given in and the organ in his chest that he never knew he had had never let him forget it- aching painfully and crying for Gillian, he thought that he would die from this self-inflicted torture!
“Just one touch, please!” his skin would plead whenever he saw his beloved former wife. He would then clench his fists at his sides to keep his hands away. Gillian would never know what it was costing him to keep his distance!
Aloud, he said, “You go get ready, Princess. I’ll be fine here.”
Gillian nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.
He wouldn’t find his shirt here or any of his things, he knew. He had taken all of it with him so he wouldn’t have to go through the pain of having to come back and face Gillian.
The shirt in question was safely hanging in the closet of the loft where he now lived. He would never let anything happen to that shirt; not after he realized how much Gilli had loved him in it.
No, what he wanted now was time.
Time to hang around Gillian until he could get a dinner invitation with her and Jake.
When Gillian had emerged from the bathroom later, dressed and ready to go out, she found Ryan sitting in one of the chairs, waiting.
She was struck by how his presence just always filled up a room and his smile just lit it up! Jake couldn’t do that- not for her- not in a million years, she thought sadly. He was kind and generous and good-hearted and had been so patient with her and all of his warm kisses and sweet looks combined couldn’t do for Gillian what just looking at Ryan was doing now- making her feel alive and relaxed…and happy.
But Jake is loyal and her true friend, she reminded herself guiltily. And he wouldn’t hurt her like had done.
That’s because you don’t love him the way you do Ryan, she argued back.
I don’t love Ryan, she tried to make herself believe.
Liar!! You’ve only loved him forever! He’s the wish that keeps you going!
Deciding to abandon this on-going fight she was always losing to her heart, she spoke up.
“Did you find your shirt?”
“Wasn’t here,” he replied quickly. “I gotta look through my closet again.” Gillian nodded.
Well, I guess I better get out of here,” he said slowly as he rose.
“Yeah, I guess,” she answered, vaguely, watching him go to the door.
He knew she was watching him and debating with herself. He didn’t look at her for fear she would see the tense look on her face. He was out of practice with this now.
“Ryan…” Gillian called out quickly to stop his leaving.
“Yeah?” he asked quietly, turning around. He kept his face expressionless.
“So, I guess you have big plans for this evening?” she asked.
Ryan was casual. “No big deal. Just me and the TV set. My night off.”
“Oh.” She answered. He turned towards the door again.
“Ryan?” she called out again.
He turned again. “Yeah?”
“Umm, I guess going to a restaurant with no advance notice wouldn’t be such a great thing, huh?”
He shrugged. “Why?”
"No reason.”
“Oh.”
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Jake and I- well, we’re going to the Valley Inn for dinner…and well, he’ll be there…and I’ll be there…and do you want to be there?”
"With Jake?” he asked.
“No,” Gillian blushed and Ryan grinned. “With Jake AND me.”
He looked her in the eyes and after a moment, replied, “Well, I guess I want to be there, if you’re going to be there. Sure I won’t be in the way?”
Looking right back at him, she said, “No. ‘Course not. I want you there.”
The smile returned to his blue eyes.
“I mean with Jake,” she corrected. “and me…with us…eating dinner.”
“Absolutely.” He assured her.
“Nothing else.”
“Of course not.”
“Yeah. The three of us eating…and talking…and then leaving.” She stammered.
Ryan nodded. “I’ve been thinking that I need to eat and talk and leave with Jake and you.”
He was enjoying her discomfort, she knew.
"You’re funny, Princess.” He teased her.
“No, I’m not,” she insisted, trying to sound firm, not embarrassed. “Why don’t we just go downstairs and wait for Jake to come back from the hospital.”
“Why don’t we do that?” he agreed and walked with her out the door. He laughed quietly as she purposefully moved ahead of him down the stairs.
Once downstairs in the living room, Ryan was seated on the sofa and Gillian was standing away from him by the stairs. She alternated between watching the stairs and looking at him. Every time she did, she saw Ryan staring back at her with those sweet, big eyes of his- the ones that could melt the polar icecaps and made her feel as if her skin was searing off of her! She kept trying to look away from him, but was pulled back every time. She couldn’t help it- she was hooked on him. The more she looked, the more she wanted.
Gillian was nervous tonight and she kept fussing with her small, thin necklace absently until with a small snap, it broke off and fell into her hands. Ryan had seen it coming and had been about to warn her, but it was too late. Now, he rose and came over to her.
“Here, Princess, let me help you.” He offered.
“No, that’s ok,” she said breathlessly. “I never did like this one much anyway.”
“This beautiful thing?” he asked softly, touching her fingers.
As their hands connected, both felt that familiar spark of skin against skin recognition and knew it. She tried to gently take her hands away, but he held onto them.
"I think it’s beautiful on you,” he continued. He raised on hand and stroked just under her neck. “And with your lovely neck, how can you not see how gorgeous you look?”
Gillian’s heartbeat thudded in her chest and she swallowed. Ryan had once told her that her cheek was what he loved best about her and he always loved touching her neck. She was about to move away out of his grasp when they were interrupted by the front door opening. They turned to see Gillian’s other date for the evening at them- or at Ryan, pointedly. Dr. Jake Martin stood watching Gillian and her “ex-husband” holding hands and face and said nothing.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” Gillian tried to move away from Ryan, but he made sure it was a little bit of a struggle at first.
“What does it look like?” Jake wanted to know as she practically tripped to get over to him. Jake knew guilt when he saw it.
“Ryan was just helping me with my necklace- it broke,” she showed him.
“Isn’t that right?” she turned back to Ryan.
Ryan looked at Jake for a few seconds and then replied, “Yeah…it happened just like Gillian said.”
Jake wasn’t buying it and Ryan was glad. He wanted it known up front that he was going after Gillian…again. Gillian shot Ryan a dark look, but he remained casual.
She stuffed the necklace into her purse.
"Well, we better get going,” Jake turned to her. “See you later, Ryan.”
Ryan waited for Gillian to respond which she did a few seconds later.
“Ahh, Jake…I got to tell you something,” she said quietly, almost apologetic. She was trying to look anywhere but his face.
“I sort of invited Ryan to join us.”
Ryan thought you could hear a pin drop in the room!
“I see,” Jake quietly looked at Ryan. “Don’t you have friends of your own, Ryan?”
“Gillian thought it would be a great idea, Jake,” Ryan smiled innocently. “And I accepted. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“Really big of you.”
“Yeah, well, me and my big heart,” he came slowly towards them. “But if you don’t think I should…”
He let the question dangle. No way would Jake say no now. He couldn’t without looking like a jerk with Gilli.
“No. Please, Ryan. Join us. We’d love to have you.” Jake said in irritation.
Ryan was pleased.
Good move, Jake. He thought. You just saved yourself a fight tonight.
Gillian took a deep breath.
“Good, it’s settled. Shall we go?”
“Yes,” both men said at once and each held out their arm for her to take.
Looking at Jake, Ryan, in sugar-sweet politeness, dropped his arm. “Oh, I guess you’ll want to do the honors.”
"If you don’t mind.” Jake said testily.
“By all means.”
He followed behind them confidently, enjoying the helpless look on Gillian’s face and the discusted one on Jake’s .
As they stepped outside, thunder sounded in the evening sky…
End of part 3
(to be continued…)