"THIS TIME AROUND"
By: gb
Chapter 17
Morning found Ryan and Gillian in Ryan's hospital room slowly waking up to the new day. Smiling shyly at each other, it was as if their own situation was also facing a new dawn.
Gillian slowly released his Ryan's hand and got up and streched and walked around for a few moments as a nurse came in and after checking her patient, pronounced him to be doing really well. His IV was no longer needed and he would be able to eat on his own. She said the doctor had decided that maybe Ryan could go home as early as this afternoon if his strength came up.
Upon hearing this, Ryan decided he was going to will himself back to normal so that he could finally leave.
"I can't wait to be out of here, Princess!" he admitted in frustation.
Edmund and Eugenia came by a little later as Gillian left for awhile to clean and when she returned, Edmund took her aside and told her that he and Eugenia felt that Ryan should come to Wildwind when he was released from the hospital and stay there for a few days to rest. Edmund felt that his staff at the house would be able to give Ryan comfort to get better.
"I want you to come with him, Gillian," he told her. "He needs you and it will lift his spirits to see you around. Will you do it?"
Although at first, her instinct was to say no because she still felt uncomfortable about being around Ryan so much when things were still so unresolved between them, she saw that he needed to get well and she wanted to do whatever it took to make that happen.
"Sure, I'll come along," she said happily for Ryan's benefit. "How about it,Ryan? Would you like to get well at Wildwind?"
Ryan, too, had doubts but the chance to spend time with Gillian was too tempting and anyway at least at Wildwind, there would be little chance of Jake Martin around to get in the way like at Myrtle's place. He agreed and thanked Edmund for the offer.
Gillian offered to collect up his things and take them over to Wildwind now and go by Ryan's apartment and get some more clothes. Her ex-husband winced at the thought of even more of his belongings being lugged over- after looking at all of his things that were already here, he actually didn't think he had more stuff left!
As promised, Ryan was well enough to go leave the hospital late that afternoon and he and Gillian arrived at Wildwind soon before dinner.
Edmund gave Ryan the old room that Gillian had used right after their marriage some time before. Gillian had also stopped at Myrtle's and had brought along several of her things and had left them in the entryhall before she had gone to get Ryan and saw that one of Edmund's staff had put them away for her.
He and Gillian entered their old room which in actuality had been mainly used by Gillian alone since at the time, their union had been one of convenience to get Gillian a greencard and Ryan a stay out of prison, even though both realized now that they were indeed falling in love with each other everyday during that period in their lives.
Slowly, they looked around and each smiled at their own memories.
"You kicked me literally out of that bed our first morning here!" Ryan recalled fondly.
"Like that stopped you from trying!" Gillian replied. "How about when I tried to make you jealous with Scott that time at dinner and you brought me back up here and dumped me in the shower?"
"You deserved it!"
"Were you really jealous?" she asked him now as she put her purse on the dressing table and sat led him over to the bed so he could sit and rest.
"Like nothing I've ever been before." he admitted. "I wanted to wring Scott's neck! And he didn't even do anything- it was all you! But you were so beautiful in that tight dress and your hair all done up! The thought of another man even looking at you made my blood boil!"
"You remembered the dress..."
"How could I ever forget?! You looked incredible!! I had a dream that night about you and that dress, Gillian!"
"Later that night, you said you wanted to make passionate love with me- did you mean it or were you just trying to get me back for flirting with Scott?" she asked him.
He looked up at her from his place on the bed and taking her hand in his briefly, assured her,"I meant it...it took all the strength I had to leave you here and go to my room that night!"
"It's funny, isn't it? " Gillian remarked. "You were here that night with me after Dimitri's funeral and now you're here. This is where I spent my time after I lost Janie and came here to get well. It's funny how we just always end up here...I know we said that then, too."
"This is our place, Princess. In this room, we started a life together that is still going on in many ways...I think we sort of realized a lot of things here...somehow, even though we said that we were married only until your greencard came through, I wonder now if we really meant that- maybe inside, we knew it would be for a lot longer than that."
"I was happy, you know, with you, Ryan." Gillian said. "I told that to Dimitri during the time you were in jail. I came here to talk to him and alot of memories just came back and that's what I told him."
Ryan smiled. "I think I was,too."
But they weren't all good memories. Ryan darkly recalled that it was in this room that Gillian had first told him she loved him and it had hit him at the time like a ton of bricks and he hadn't wanted to believe it was true-it was so much easier for someone like him to think that she was just playing games and was incapable of loving anything but herself!
He had proceeded then to turn her sweet, gentle confession to shreds!
"I'm sick to death of you!" He now heard in his head and he remembered the nervous expression that had been on her face right before she had confessed what had been in her heart and how it had turned to one of such hurt and utter sadness at his cold, heartless rejection of her seconds later! That was when she had turned to another man for the comfort Ryan had not given her even though he knew that a part of him that was his heart had wanted to even as he had turned her away. That was when after finding out about her and that stupid David Hayward, he had gone to drown in his depression and after an evening of unfortuante events, he had found himself facing a false rape charge and then things between him and Gillian had seemed to look up as she had defended him and then they had turned worse because of Haywards interference and Ryan had now realized that that moment when Gillian had told him she loved had been like the beginning of the end for them until now... that moment in time had led to the domino effect that brought them to this place where they stood now.
He cringed as his hateful words came back to stab at him the way he had stabbed at Gillian's heart when he had refused to take her sweet words.
So many memories....so many things he wanted to change and do over...so many things that had gone good like Gillian's and his love which was discovered here and flourished somehow even now!
Gillian interupted his thoughts and told him to get in his pajamas and climb into bed. One of the staff was going to bring him dinner in bed and she would return after her own meal. This way, Ryan could rest alone for some time.
Later, as she returned, she was dressed in pajama bottoms and a camisole top and he was waiting for her in the large poster bed that dominated the room. He looked up at her and followed her movements as she carefully sat next to him.
"I just came to say goodnight." she told him.
"You're not sleeping too far away, Princess?" Ryan asked her in a depressed tone.
"Just down the hall," she said. "I can hear you if you want something during the night."
"Oh, I thought..."
Whatever he had been going to say was left a secret and she kissed his head and was walking away when he stopped her.
"Gillian?" he called.
She turned around and waited for him to speak.
"How about you sleep here in bed with me and keep me company?" he suggested quickly.
Gillian was too stunned at first to speak and couldn't think of a reply.
Ryan continued quickly. "I was thinking...you know I'm kinda by myself here and this way if I need anything, I would have to wake everyone up by talking loudly to get your attention...it wouldn't be anything else, Baby. Just sleeping, I promise. I just...want you next to me...we don't have to do anything else."
He's getting too used to me, she thought. And I'm getting too used to him getting too used to me and I'm liking it. I don't think I want to sleep alone anymore again.
"I don't know, Ryan..." she began. "Maybe you should be by yourself."
"Well, I don't want to force you." Ryan assured her. "I guess I'll be alright here. I mean you're just down the hall..."
Gillian felt herself weakening. She hadn't thought about being in here with him, but now being alone in her room didn't appeal to her, either.
"I guess it would be alright," she said as she walked back over to the bed and slowly climbed in next to him as Ryan moved over to make room for her. "Just sleeping."
"Absolutely," he promised as he turned to face her as she lay down beside him and looked back at him and propped her head up in one her palm.
"Goodnight, Ryan," She smiled at him.
"It is now, Princess." he was happy now as he looked back at her.
"I don't kow how you keep doing this to me," she said, but a single tear came down her cheeks as she tried to blink it back, her voice too thick with emotion for her to continue speaking.
Ryan said nothing as he slowly leaned over and kissed away the tear with his lips as they brushed her eyes tenderly.
A moment later, he whispered."Don't cry for me, Princess. I'm not worth you wasting a single tear you have. You actually give me value when you stay with me....thank you.."
He continued to kiss her closed eyes as she continued to cry silently and they ended the night wrapped in each others embrace....
"What do mean he's coming here to pick you up?!" Ryan shouted as he followed Gillian down the stairs to the livingroom at Wildwind.
"I told you, Ryan. Mateo and I are going to a meeting at the hospital together and he's giving me a ride." She said patiently.
"You don't need a ride. Edmund has more than enough cars and you have your own!"
"Stop shouting." She istructed. "You going to get sick again."
"I'm not shouting!" Ryan shouted. "What kind of meeting is this, anyway?!"
"Just a meeting where people get together and discuss problems they are having and help each other out." she told him as they sat waiting on the couch. "Why don't you go and lie down. I'll be back later."
"I don't want to lie down- I'm not tired. And I didn't know you had problems. Why didn't you come to me?!"
He was pacing now around the couch and was ignoring the housekeeper who was trying to give him a cup of tea as she followed him around the room.
"First Jake and now Mateo Santos! I'm here- I can help you. Stay with me here, Gillian."
"No." she stated. "Ryan try to understand. Mateo and I have a lot in common."
"Like what?!"
"Like yours and Hayley's friendship-this meeting will help me understand it." she tried to make him understand.
"I'm not so hard to understand." Ryan insisted stubbornly. "What so hard about me- I'm a great guy."
"So is Mateo and he was so sweet to tell me about this and to take me there for my first meeting."
"I'll bet!" Ryan snarled sacastically. "Why can't you stay here and talk if you want to so bad?!"
"Because we can't. Now, I'm not going to discuss this anymore. Try and be reasonable." Gillian told him.
The doorbell rang just then and moments later, Mateo entered the room and saw Gillian smiling cheerfully at him and Ryan staring darkly in his direction as he sat on a chair facing him. Mateo knew that Ryan was not welcoming him here tonight and apparently, some plans were messed up.
He greeted him and then he and Gillian left for their meeting.
Ryan sat in the chair where he was and cursed Mateo.
"I'm going to wait right here until they come back." he vowed out loud. "I'm not moving from this spot until she comes throught that door..."
The housekeeper gave up her efforts to give Ryan his tea. She was about to suggest that maybe Ryan was still to weak to actually sit down her for the whole evening waiting up for Gillian, but she knew that it was no use. She laughed at the site of Ryan acting like a jealous boyfriend waiting for his girl to come home from the prom....
Meanwhile at Myrtle's Jake Martin was pacing the living room. He hadn't heard from Gillian in days and knew that Ryan was the reason for it. His face scrunched up in depression and anger as he decided that tomorrow, Gillian was going to have an explanation for him whether she liked it or not....
end of part 17
(To be continued)
Next time: Jake wants some answers from Gillian and a jealous Ryan attempts to "monitor" Mateo's evening with Gillian with some unexpected results!