"THIS TIME AROUND"
By: gb
Chapter 14
Gillian continued to stare down at Ryan from her place on the stool next to his hospital bed. She had been here for hours but had flat out refused anyone's plea that she get some rest. There was no way she could leave Ryan after she had promised him that she would remain at his side. Besides, the thought of leaving filled her heart with such pain and misery that she couldn't think straight!
She couldn't touch him yet, but in case he woke up, he would still be able to hear her through the plastic booth and she wanted to make sure that he saw her when he first opened his eyes. He was suffering from a fever brought on by the infection in his hand as she had suspected. The doctors had him on antibiotics and he was being fed through an IV tube. He was no longer in grave danger, but he was unconscious and weak because he had not eaten since who knows when because he'd been passed out when she had found him.
Gillian thought about all the inane ramblings he had uttered after she had found him. He apparently had gone as far back as his childhood with all the terrible abuse and neglect he and his brother had suffered and he also remembered her, too. He thought they were getting married again, she realized sadly. He thought that she was going to leave him and had been begging her not to do it and to choose him instead of Jake.
Gillian knew she would have to find him and explain why she never met up with him earlier today, but she just didn't want to think about all that now. All that mattered was Ryan and getting him better. Getting her love better and on his feet again. Jake would have to be dealt with only after that along with whatever she felt for him now, although inside, she already knew the answer to that the second Ryan had come back to her life and her heart and forced her to face reality.
Pushing those thoughts aside, she decided to speak to Ryan again to see if she could get a response.
"Ryan?" she called to him and smiled at his face. "It's me, Gillian again. Remember that spoiled brat you were tricked into marrying? The one who you think is trying to get shopping listed as an official even in the Olympics? Well, I'm still here and if you don't wake up, I may get bored and go to your wallet and see if I can get hold of a few more of your credit cards...I think I wore out the last ones you got me...You know, I've been thinking...maybe what my room at Myrtle's needs is an expresso machine, what do think?"
No response.
"Right," she kept on talking as she got up off the stool and began pacing the room. "Think about it for awhile 'cause I haven't had one in a long time and when the weather turns cold again, it sure would be nice to curl up with a magazine and an expresso. We used to do that back in Hungary, you know. I miss Hungary sometimes, Ryan. I sure would have liked to take you there and show it to you."
She walked back over to him and took another peek at his face. Such a beautiful face, she never got over how handsome he was- how utterly beautiful his features were and how perfect God had made him.
"Ryan, you know, when you wake up, I want to talk to you about...about things. We never get a chance to just talk anymore and I think that's important to find out where we are in life and what we're doing."
She knew she wasn't making any sense, but she had to keep going. Ryan might hear her and just wake up. Her heels clicked on the floor as she continued her walk around the room as she went to Ryan about a fashion article she was just reading.
"Ryan, did you know that red is making a strong showing this season? I am so behind in red, I really should make a trip to the mall and get a red shawl and bag or something. What would everyone say if I- Gillian Lavery was not seen in the season's hot color? I mean I would just be humilliated. But Ryan, go easy on red because I don't think the bright kind is for you- I think you should stick to burgandy or something cause with your coloring, you would probably look like ghost or something in it- now don't be embarrassed 'cause everyone makes the mistake now and then to just blindly get ANY shade of 'it' color without a thought to how awful they'll look in it and the sales girls just will just let you walk out with anything and so I'll help you."
Ryan moaned from his place on the bed. Some irriating voice was going on and on about red or something! Wait, wait, could that be...no it wasn't GILLIAN, was it?! What was she doing here- what was HE doing here?! And why were they talking about red? Was he bleeding or something?!
"Gilli..." he called out weakly. "Stop...Gilli...No red..."
Gillian's head snapped around as she turned to the bed and then raced over to him.
"Ryan!" she called. "Ryan, you're awake and you're alright!!"
She felt tears coming down on her face, but knew that this time, it was because of joy, not sadness. She stopped herself just in time as she moved to touch him and instead kept repeating over and over how glad she was that he was ok.
"Gillian, no more red, please!" Ryan begged. "I can't take anymore, Baby!"
She laughed. Ryan was always going on an on about how all Gillian's literary experience was limited to the latest fashion magazine. But there was always a twinkle in his eyes as he said it and he never failed to appreciate how she looked at any given time.
"Where are we?" he asked groggily.
"Ryan, you're in the hospital. You have a fever, but you're gonna be fine now!" she assured him.
She pressed the nurse's call button and a doctor and nurse soon entered the room upon hearing Gillian's news. They praised her for talking to Ryan to help him regain conscoiousness, but asked her to wait outside while they examined him.
"I'll be right out there, Baby," Gillian promised him, smiling as she slowly left the room.
He looked after her and smiled though he was in no shape to protest, but the smile vanished as she disappeared. Outside, Myrtle was glad to hear the news and said that Eugenia and Edmund were on their way over to see Ryan since she had called them.
Gillian walked down the corridor to stretch her legs when she found Mateo Santos staring back at her.
"Hey, Gillian," he told her quietly. "Myrtle called about Ryan. How is he?"
"He just woke up," she answered him quietly. "The doctor is examining him."
Mateo nodded. "That's good to hear. Why don't you sit down? You look wiped out."
"Maybe just for a minute. I promised Ryan I would be right back."
The two walked over to some nearby chairs and faced each other.
Mateo's short black hair and olive features ( for his latin background) were in stark contrast to wife Hayley's blond fair looks, but there was no denying that Mr. santos was indeed a very handsome man.
"Why are you here?" Gillian wondered. "To see Ryan?"
"Hayley wanted to and I came along for her. She's been waiting awhile." He told her carefully.
Gillian didn't respond, but Mateo quickly continued.
"Gillian, look," He said. "I know that it's not easy for you- Hayley and Ryan being so close. It's hard for me, too. Ryan was right when he said while you two were on the run that I'm mad because I can't control Hayley enough to where I can pick her friends. But,that's life and if you love someone, you just have to live with all of them! Not just the parts you like."
"Why should we have to?" asked Gillian. "If they really want us, why can't they understand how much it hurts us and deal with that? Why do we always have to give- to always understand? Your wife is a threat to me, Mateo. I love Ryan and I can't get over how he hurt me and I'm stuck."
"Loving people is hard anyway, but when you deal with people like Ryan and Hayley, well...you just have to try harder. Believe me, Gillian, I know about it and I've been doing it a lot longer than you have. My relationship with Hayley has been an uphill battle the whole way and there were times when I just didn't think I had anything left. I took a long time to admit that I was mad at her for not being normal. But you know what? It's ok for me to be mad. That's normal for me and she has to live with that and Ryan,too for you."
"When will we be able to get past this?" Gillian asked doubtfully.
"You may never get past it. But don't give up your special someone if you really love them. Just work with it as best as you can. Sometimes you win, sometimes, well...let's not talk about that now." he suggested smiling a little sheepishly.
Gillian smiled. She may not be able to ever see eye to eye with Hayley, but she could see why Mateo was Hayley's choice. He was not so bad, really.
"You're alright Mateo." she said and impulsively hugged him. He was a little taken aback, but laughed quietly and returned the gesture.
"Comon, " he said getting up and reaching for her hand. "I'll walk back with you."
Gillian got up and as they were walking, a thought occurred to Matt and he stopped and turned to her and asked,
"Hey, Gillian, I've been thinking. I don't know how you feel about group meetings, but there is one started here by someone I know. It's for people who are involved with others who have issues like Ryan and Hayley. We all get together and help talk over our situations. You know, provide an ear for others who are having trouble coping with life's issues that our loved ones are dealing with- they really have helped me understand Hayley more and maybe they could help you with dealing with Ryan."
"Sounds like something I need," admitted Gillian. "I have to agree that I don't know what it's like growing up with someone who drinks like Ryan and Hayley's parents."
"Next meeting is later this week. I'm going, would you like to go with me?" Mateo asked.
"You don't have to speak if you don't want to- just listen and if you feel like maybe you might want to come back,then do it. I'd be happy to bring you along."
Gillian thought a minute. Anything to understand Ryan and maybe they would have a chance together after all. She nodded and then she and Mateo started back towards Ryan's room....
end of part 14
To be continued...