A little more on the ugly spectre of anti-kid "age"-ism that's managed to wrap its cold, dread talons about the neck of present-day comics fandom, before moving on to other (related) concerns:

Some weeks ago, I was engaged in a discussion on one of the many comics-related message boards out there in the trackless cyber-wilds, re: the current economic dolours of the industry, and what might best serve to remedy (or, at the very least, slow) the steady, downward sales spiral of same.

I opined, at one point, that the monstrously short-sighted reliance of the present-day comics publishers upon a rapidly aging (and, therefore, dwindling) "hard core fanboy" sales base for its continued economic sustenance -- now approaching the end of its second decade of continuation; with naught to show for it, save turned-out pockets and a glum, hangdog expression -- was, demonstrably, A Very Badd Plan, Indeed.

Instead (I ventured), why not attempt a return to the time-tested verities of the last era during which the mainstream American comic book enjoyed a more-than-respectable portion of fiscal well-being?

It can scarcely be argued, on any rational level, that the lion's share of today's mainstream adventure comics -- written, as they are, with one weather eye turned inward, ever inward towards the increasingly shrill, hectoring demands of the insular and cliquish "Only True Fans Allowed Beyond This Point" segment of the current readership -- are, almost by design, rough literary sledding for any novice or "newbie" attempting to gain so much as a toe-hold in the face of the medium's fictive foundation.

"Why not," I went on (you will doubtless have observed, by this point, that I have a way of doing precisely that), "expend the modicum of craft and care necessary to making the bloody things decently accessible to would-be readers sans the (seemingly) requisite fifteen-or-twenty-years- plus collection of pristine back issues they are luckless enough not to own? More self-contained, single-issue stories (or-- failing even that pallid a placebo -- shorter story arcs, at the very least); fewer "buy-the- next-issue-of-CAPTAIN COLESLAW- in-order-to-read-the- thrilling- conclusion-of-this- action-packed HAM AND CHEESE SOUFFLÉ SQUADRON-saga!" marketing ploys, at the expense of the reader (and in service to the egos of various vainglorious comics scribes); maybe even (the Good Lord preserve us!) a conscious awareness that every comic book is someone's first comic book, and some minimal attempt to bring tyros up to running speed, re: the ongoing dramatis personae (and their respective motivations) might well be in order, every now and again." Simple, baseline stuff like that, there.

From the amassed cacophony of shrill bleatings and yowlings such a seemingly simple observation occasioned, in turn... one might readily have assumed that I had, instead, shared with all and sundry a secret, deep-burning desire to dig up their dead ancestors; pry open their respective caskets; and commence to committing various and assorted acts of Rank Sexual Blasphemy.

Some of said responses were particularly intriguing ones -- both for the assorted fannish prejudices they revealed, and those in which they (from all indications) reveled, outright. I'll be quoting some of the more,,, ummmm... piquant ones here, for commentary, sans any indemnifying online I.D.s.

This one, in especial, struck me as being particularly revealing, in terms of the peculiarly elitist, age-ist mind-set so manifestly prevalent within the rank and file of today's readership. It was in response to my stated assertion that both DC Comics, Inc. and Marvel Comics (the two companies being discussed, chiefly) ought to, at the very least, render their "core" titles [SUPERMAN; BATMAN; SPIDER-MAN; etc.] in a more "reader friendly" fashion than is their current wont:

"Why should I care if some little twerps out there can't understand any issue of the average comic book? If they need to be 'talked down' to, then that's their problem! I do NOT want to see ANY comics I currently read and collect become 'all ages' titles! And I refuse to apologize for wanting comic books to grow up, just as I did! Why should the loyal, long-time readers have to put up with 'baby talk' in THEIR fiction?!?"

Perhaps it is simply an old man's tendency to recoil from naked absolutism, outright... but: I find the aggressively "mine mine MINE" tone and tenor of the preceding quote (reproduced in full) to be as startling in its full-bore vehemence as it is, ultimately, utterly sad- making.

Point by point, then:

A.) "Why should I care if some little twerps out there can't understand any issue of the average comic book?"

Short-Form Answer: because it is precisely the not-inconsiderable economic "cushion" afforded by those self-same "little twerps out there" which -- had not the modern-day publishing parvenus already squandered their good will and support -- would make it possible for DC, Marvel, et. al. to publish more of the (putatively) "adult" sort of fare which the elitists hold in such high, holy esteem.

The proof of this logic is readily apparent when one takes but a moment to review the current status (and respective "track records) of The Big Two "mainstream" companies. DC Comics, Inc. has initiated a truly mind-boggling spate of new title launches, over the past few years (AZTEK; CHASE; DAMAGE; FIREBRAND; MAJOR BUMMER; SCARE TACTICS; SUPERBOY AND THE RAVERS; TAKION; YOUNG HEROES IN LOVE; etc. ... not to mention high-profile re-introductions of such venerable old war horses such as BLACK CONDOR; CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN; (DOCTOR) FATE; THE HAWK AND THE DOVE; HOUSE OF SECRETS; MISTER MIRACLE; NIGHT FORCE; SHAZAM and THE TEEN TITANS, among others), and has watched them, one and all, stagger and fall in their respective traces, due to there simply not being a large enough "pool" of potential readers out there to render their continued publication decently profitable.

Marvel's situation, by way of comparison, is scarcely any more enviable. In the throes (as of this writing) of protracted and acrimonious bankruptcy proceedings, as of this writing, the company -- with, it should be noted, no little amount of accompanying ballyhoo -- was forced, only recently, to bear up under the unforgiving lash of its own highly public arse-whipping as an entire separate imprint of their own invention ("Strange Tales") underwent the financial equivalent of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome... even though it had been predicated upon such familiar "name" franchise characters as MAN-THING and WEREWOLF BY NIGHT.

Clearly: it has become all but impossible to "narrowcast" (to borrow a broadcasting term) selected series' for a readership already so diminished in size (and accompanying purchasing wherewithal) that even such once-profitable "baseline" titles as GREEN ARROW and DAREDEVIL are forced to shutter their windows and re-launch themselves with brand-new "first issues" and similarly crass, cynical marketing ploys.

Given, therefore, that the free market has resoundingly renounced the "fanboys only" approaches to both series conceptualization and execution... only the most hidebound and credulous (or so it seems to me) could respond to such thundering apathy on the part of The Rest of the World Entire by drumming their pretty little heels on the linoleum and yodeling, defiantly: "More of the same! More of the SAME -- !"

It is no less ludicrous (he added) for said diehards to bemoan the loss of their own, particular "fan favorite" series', while (simultaneously) sniffing with audible derision at the notion of recruiting a sufficiency of younger new fans, via an adequate number of "introductory" titles; no matter how much the necessity of either might gall "the loyal, long-time readers" out there...

... since it is those selfsame YOUNGER fans who -- as they grew older, and more "mature" -- would provide the much-needed financial impetus to justify continued publication of non-introductory titles.

Titles such as the ones aforementioned, the dismal failures of which currently have so many fanboys out there in assorted states of high dudgeon, bordering on apoplexy.

That's why you should care "if some little twerps out there can't understand any issue of the average comic book."

We'll continue soldiering along this very same footpath, on the page(s) immediately following.

"Shouting At the Loons": PAGE ONE
"Shouting At the Loons": PAGE THREE
"Shouting At the Loons": PAGE FOUR