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(... we all just live in it, is all)
"Pretty Fly For a White Guy" the ARCHIE Chronicles (Pt.3)
The
confession which follows -- uttered freely, and of my own volition -- I
make, knowing that it comes as perilously close to actual, working
heresy as is possible within the fannish sub-culture.
I make said confession, well aware of the sub voce scowlings and dark, sidelong glances it will occasion amongst the bulk of you, My Loyal Readers and Regular Clientele Hereabouts. To these I can only offer a weary, self-knowing shrug, and the gentle reminder that we are -- none of us -- perfect beings, on this earthly plane.
That being said, then:
I Like Veronica Better Than I Do Betty.
I have always liked Veronica better than I have Betty.
I'd very much appreciate it if one of you could remember to give me a little advance notice, prior to the first burning-of-Cheeks-in-effigy get-
together. (Of which there will be, doubtless, more than one.)
It'll give me just enough time to run out and pick up some marshmallows.
Like the lilies of the field, in the oft-referenced biblical parable Veronica Lodge "toiled not; neither did she spin."
In other words the babe was, like, loaded, moohlah-wise.
While it would certainly be nice (or, rather, more socially acceptable) to mention, at this juncture, that said welter of worldly goods had left the lady with hair unturned, and a nature both charitable and generous; one as demonstrably philanthropic as it was unflaggingly kind...
... well that would be a brazen and bald-faced lie, of course.
Veronica Lodge all but reveled in her rarefied economic status as a shapely scion of The Filthy, Stinking Rich.
She flaunted it; gloried in it; and -- much in the same fashion as Carl Barks' character of Uncle Scrooge, over in the Disney "Duck" books -- allowed herself, ultimately, to be defined by it.
Nice gig, if you can get it.
Ohhhhhh... what? What? Now you're all looking at me as
if I'd just let one rip inside an enclosed and crowded elevator, here.
Look I'm by no means saying that the lovely Ms. Lodge was wholly devoid of any/all of the finer sentiments, as well.
It's just that those selfsame sentiments -- filtered, as they were, through the prism of her own unique socio-economic, ummm, "world view" --
... were... well... unique, is all.
Everything in the whole, wide world -- everything, mind, now -- was (in her eyes) divisible, ultimately, into one of two categories:
1.) I Own That (or, more precisely "Daddy Owns That." Either way a fairly large-ish sub-set out of the whole); or --
2.) I Will Own That. [See #1, above]
Now, as mentioned earlier her comparative position of privilege certainly never kept Veronica from aspiring to nobler or better. When friend (and part-time foil) Jughead, for instance, flirted (albeit briefly) with the "flower power" movement of the later 1960's... it was Veronica, rather than the (normally) more understanding Betty and Archie, who not only accepted said transformation, but encouraged others to emulate it, in turn.
Too one could comb the ARCHIE canon entire -- from the 1940's to the present day -- without finding so much as a single recorded instance of the well-heeled Ms. Lodge ever begrudging any member of the Riverdale gang the cost of a meal; the free and extended usage of her family estate; or even the monies requisite for a trip around the world (whenever the plot necessitated such an extravagance on her part).
She had more than her fair share of the green stuff, 'tis true, did Our Gal Veronica...
... but -- and to her everlasting credit -- she was never stingy with
it, by any stretch of the imagination.
Nor was the buxom billionairess without her own peculiar talents and accomplishments, as well.
Every other member of the Riverdale gang (Archie; Betty; Jughead; Reggie; and -- to a lesser extent -- Dilton Doiley; Big Moose; and teen-aged sorceress Sabrina) had a special "gift" or ability which he (or she) could call their own. The industrious Betty, for instance, was the consummate homemaker; self-adoring Reggie was a schemer par excellence; the bespectacled Dilton, a genius inventor; Moose, an all-but-unstoppable berserker. And so on, and so forth.
Veronica's own unique talents -- such as, say, the one showcased in "The Phenomenon" [see accompanying] -- were merely a little more...
... surreal than most, is all.
[Said story, by the by, illustrates another little-known aspect of the ARCHIE Comics characters and their meta-fictive "universe" the fact that -- every so often -- they seemed genuinely aware of the fact that they were (in the immortal words of underground cartoonist Robert Crumb) "just lines on paper, folks."
[Not all of the time, certainly. Not even often enough to qualify as a "running gag," of sorts. Juuussst often enough -- particularly during the 1970's, when the various and sundry ARCHIE titles were more studiedly "free-form" and experimental than they are now -- to make one wonder if any/all of the ARCHIE scribes of the day were at all familiar with director Alfred Hitchcock's ruminations on "fourth wall" theory, vis-a-vis audience and performer.]
But, in any event we were discussing Veronica
Lodge just a moment ago, weren't we...?
Whereas the to-the-manor-born Ms. Lodge certainly was capable of displaying many a less admirable character trait and foible -- she was, at various times, flighty in her responsibilities; shrewishly manipulative, re her proprietary "claim" on Archie's romantic affections; and (oh, let's face it) cavalierly condescending and downright rude, on more than one occasion, to friend and casual acquaintance alike -- she was, nonetheless, possessed of a real and demonstrable set of unshakeable, bedrock principles.
(A nicely-played example of this very aspect of the character, in fact, was showcased to best effect in the story "A Matter of Prejudice")
If pressed... I suspect that it is for this precise reason, more than any other, that I've always come down solidly in the "Veronica Lodge" camp, re the eternal fannish conundrum "Betty... or Veronica?"
Betty Cooper -- while wholly and genuinely admirablee, in virtually every way -- was (ultimately) too bloody nice. She possessed no serious or telling vices (unless you want to count that Hopelessly-Devoted-To-You obsession-type thang she had going on wherever Archie Andrews was concerned); and, thus, was never as fully...
... well... real, I suppose, as was the more flawed (read more human) Veronica, in turn.
Having touched (albeit only in the most peripheral sense) upon the sometimes tortuous relationship between Veronica Lodge and her henna-
topped heartthrob... let's take a closer look at that pairing, in closing.
It has often been said that -- in the course of l'affair Archibald en Veronique -- that the former has always been the guileless, love-struck naiif; and the latter, the flint-hearted and opportunistic "user" of the two.
I tell you this much for free, kids:
Anyone attempting to feed you that line o'malarkey ain't never, no
never read hisself (or herself, for alla dat) none o' dem
dere ARCHIE comical-type books.
When it came to the womenfolk of Riverdale, Archie's eyes were the occipital equivalents of a pair of Magellans always seeking out new territories to explore and conquer. (The very fact that he routinely played the canon's two heroines against one another speaks volumes, in this regard.)
At various points along the way, over the decades, he's also made passes at such recurring characters as Big Moose's "steady," Midge; the aforementioned Sabrina; Josie Parker (of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS fame); and countless dozens upon dozens of other likely teenage candidates, both "walk-on" characters and otherwise.
Veronica (by way of comparison) is steadfast and true. Other than an occasional on-again, off-again bout of flirting with the caddish Reggie Mantle -- a "relationship," it should be noted, which has always been explicated as being more "real" in the mind of the former than in that of the latter -- Ms. Lodge's energies and attentions have always been focused on Primary Target Archie.
As the two examples preceding amply illustrate Veronica is by no means
unwilling to fight dirty for that which she perceives as being unqiuely
"hers," either.
We'll be taking a look at Veronica's long-suffering "Daddykins" (a.k.a. Mr. Hiram Lodge); resident super-genius Dilton Doiley; and early '70's "minority character" addition Chuck Clayton, among others...
... on Page Four of IT'S ARCHIE'S WORLD... next week.
[NOTE the preceding page is best enjoyed while listening to Elvis
Costello's waycool rendition of -- what else? -- "Veronica."]
"It's ARCHIE'S World (... we all just live in
it, is all)" PAGE ONE
"It's ARCHIE'S World (... we all just live in it, is all)" PAGE TWO
"It's ARCHIE'S World (... we all just live in it, is all)" PAGE FOUR
"It's ARCHIE'S World (... we all just live in it, is all)" PAGE FIVE
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