Tiny Injured Soldier (January 27, 1997)
She's
so cold -
You just refuse to see.
Ever loving her so faithfully,
And she so blind to be.
Together
you two once were
And like a sudden shock she left -
She stole your heart
Left you shivering in the night.
Now
you bend at the mention of her name
Cry and beg for her to return.
You're so alone, so all alone,
So empty, so afraid.
Is
she worth this pain?
She left you to pick up the pieces,
Of your torn and wounded heart -
Like a tiny, injured soldier.
If
she ever really cared at all
Where would she be now?
She would try and ease your pain
But she's on the street again.
I'll
be here to hold your hand
And love you when she's gone.
You just fail to see that
You can run right to my arms.
Another one about Jeremy. He fell in love with this chick named Kat when I was still all broken up about being broken up. I hated Kat. And she broke up with him after about two weeks. And I thought, hey, here's my chance! But it never happened. And for the better too, I might add.
Cage of Misery (March 8, 1997)
It
was the days of youth
Walking down the streets of the city.
We were talking and laughing
We were being young and having fun and
Making memories...
But
I wasn't there...
It wasn't me...
It was me living your
Life in my mind for a day.
We
were the best of friends
Running down the streets and laughing,
As all the adults turned
Their eyes in scorn.
It's funny how on that day I was home.
No
I wasn't there..
. It wasn't me...
Somehow, some-day,
My soul got lost along the way.
Those
were the days of old,
We did as much as the law would allow
And maybe then a little more.
We laughed at adversity and
Came home to our parents in one piece (luckily).
But
that day I was home...
It wasn't in my life to be...
And oh, how I longed to be free,
But trapped in my cage of misery
I cannot taste the outside world -
I can only imagine.
And this is the only way for me that I can see.
For almost three years, I was with this boy named Eric. And, for the most part, he was a great guy. He never really mistreated me, except for the way that he broke up with me, and for what I'm describing in this poem. He never let me hang out with his friends. He never even introduced me to them. He was a pro skater, and skaters are married to their skateboards...and so it would have been shameful for him to have a...*gasp*...girlfriend. He finally told his friends he had a girlfriend....after two years. But anyway, this is me being pissed off about the fact that I was always left out of the second biggest part of his life.
You Forgot... (November 20, 1999)
What
ever happened to
Promises we meant to keep?
To hearts that never sleep?
To eyes that never weep?
Where
did all the dreams go
that we used to share?
To fates that used to dare?
To the passions that we'd wear?
Did
you take them with you
when you went away?
Why couldn't you stay?
Is this the price I have to pay?
Can
you still remember
when we said forever?
How we swore that we'd die never?
That we'd both beat any endeavor?
Had
you thought of this
on that night?
When you took that final flight?
When you put me in this plight?
You
must have forgotten then...
Like above...there was this boy named Eric. And there were only two ways that I felt he mistreated me. This is the second of them. Basically, what happened (my theory on it...which varies greatly from what he said happened, which to this day I don't believe at all because it just seems completely unreal)...one day, we got in a fight. And he left my house. And I told him, as he got into his car, that I was sad because I knew he wouldn't be coming back again. And he swore to me that he was coming back, that he just wasn't feeling well and needed to go home and rest. Well, a lot of stuff happened, and he had to leave town right before my 19th birthday...but he promised he would call on my birthday. He didn't. He didn't call for days after that. He didn't even call when he got back into town. So I called him. And he said he had to go away for three weeks again. Three weeks passed. Two months passed. I finally heard from him again. He promised he was coming back very soon, within a few weeks. I waited. Weeks passed. Months passed, and all I did was sit and pray and wait and stay faithful, 100%. Finally, about six months from the original fight...I was walking around downtown...and I saw him. And he broke up with me. Which I think was his original intention but he was too coward so he hoped I would just forget about him. So, this one is about me feeling completely deceived by him.
Downtown Goodbye (March 3, 2000)
It's
still early in October,
not so late in 1999
But not close enough to start
thinking of a brand new year.
I'd seen you standing there
with ribbons in my hair
I'd seen you walk away
The saddest ending to an even
sadder year.
You
said that things had
changed
But I still felt the same
You said that I was wrong
But I had loved you all along.
And
I watched your back
my final memory of you
Taking those steps away from me
Turning your back on our love.
Memories
like ours will never die
Even as the days go by
Your touch lingering on my hand
After a late-night goodbye
handshake.
Three years of my life imprinted by
Your words -- your touch.
This one is about the same thing as the last one, except it sort of tells the story of what happened. It's not finished, which is why it ends abruptly. I started it but never cared enough to finish it. I realized right about the time I wrote that last line that I was way over him and so the emotion to finish just wasn't there.
(Untitled) - August 2001 (I hate when I forget to ddate my poems!)
My
back is up against a wall
I can't touch you now
But I wish I could somehow.
This bridge between us
Too long to cross in a single step
So much to bear but in my heart I kept
You close to me now
If you could only see somehow...
The
light that burns through me
When I speak your name
It's a sound that rigns like a bell
The cleanest chime that echoes through the air.
You are the one true thing
That keeps my breath flowing through my lungs
That keeps my blood flowing though my veins.
If
only right now I could feel
The warmth of your skin
The way your hair feels between my fingers,
The tingle of your breath on my neck,
or watch your eyes as you sleep
and your expression as you dream
I would give it all away.
No room for anything more in my heart but you...
This one's another about Scott. I'm not really sure if it's finished or not...I kind of like how it ends. It doesn't have a title yet because it's the newest thing I've written. It's about being completely in love with him and missing him and being too far away from him and wishing I was anywhere with him. He makes all the other bullshit I had to go through with other boys well worth it - because all that other bullshit makes me appreciate him a thousand times more than I could have had I not been through it.
More to come...as I write more stuff worth publishing...