When I was really young--a few years ago--I got designated as the repairperson of this house, painting, papering, carpentering and even minor electricating, and I must have done it right, because I'm still here.

      With all this experience behind me, I considered it a snap to paper the "front room", ignoring the fact that it was approximately 15 ft. by 15 ft., besides a bay window and 8 1/2 feet from floor to ceiling.

      I bought the wallpaper, the ceiling paper, the border, ran warm water into the bathtub to soak each length to moisten the pre-pasted backs, and prepared to paper. Using a 25 foot power tape, to measure the ceiling, I laid it on the floor and measured the length of the floor, rather than climb a ladder and try to measure the ceiling with the tape falling around my head, shoulders, arms, and/or feet. Putting the paper on the floor I measured and cut the first strip. It makes more sense to cut and paste one piece before cutting a whole ceiling full of strips, so it can be discarded in case its a trifle too short-----which can happen fairly often.

      The ladder was brought in from the garage and set into place, after which I rolled up the first length of paper and trotted into the bathroom with it. Placed it in the tub, swished it around until it was entirely moistened, folded it accordian fashion and raced into the front room, and even though I had allowed the excess water to drain into the tub, a surprising amount drizzled in puddles onto the floor, because the bathroom was the entire house length away from the room I was going to be papering.

      Arrived in "front room", situated ladder in corner of room, skipped up ladder, began fitting paper into corner of room. Realized there was no old towel with which to smooth wrinkles and bubbles. Set paper on top of ladder, slowly backed down, keeping eye on paper all the way. Sped to kitchen, found old towel under sink, hurried back to "front room" ran up ladder, picked up paper and began fitting paper into corner of room.

      Smoothed paper with towel and realized I had started in opposite corner to the one I meant to start in. Down the ladder, with paper following me all the way down, wrapping around head and neck. Removed paper from head and neck and sat down on lower step of ladder to figure out how to keep paper on ceiling long enough to move ladder to next section.

      Would a broom be long enough and steady enough to do this for me?

      Set paper on floor, ran into kitchen, found broom, ran (slowly) back to "front room".

      Moved ladder to correct corner, went back and picked up paper and broom, placed towel around neck. When I got back to ladder, with paper in one hand, broom in the other, suddenly realized I had no hands to help me up ladder, so just leaned into it and put right foot on first step, put left foot beside it, and by repeating this movement, made it to top.

      Eased paper into corner, stood back to admire work, almost fell off ladder. While I was once more admiring work, realized paper was put on crooked. Tore paper off and put paper on straight. At this rate it would take me 8 trips to top of ladder toting paper, broom, and towel, and this for only one strip of paper.

      Now came the broom test. Placing the broom against the far end of the paper and holding it tightly against said paper, backed slowly down ladder, keeping eyes on paper all the way. Moved ladder 2 feet along route, went back up ladder, pushed paper another 2 feet, smoothed out wrinkles and bubbles with old towel, placed working end of broom against far end of paper, and backed down.

      This was repeated another 7 times until at last I arrived at end of paper at other side of room.

      Too tired to do any more than one strip, decided to quit and take nap.

      They say that women are the weaker sex, but this just proves that they are also the smartest. How many professional paperhangers do you know who figured out how to use a broom to hold ceiling paper in place?