In the late 90's my house was broken into twice and quite a bit of stuff was stolen. The way they got in was to smash open the back door to the porch. My house has 3 doors. There is the front door, the back door leading to the porch and the basement door leading to the back yard. After the second break in I called ADT and alarmed all 3 doors.

        For quite awhile after that there were no more burglaries of my house. However 1 day I went into the yard via the basement door and had a senior moment and forgot to lock the door. I then went to my part time job (I had retired from my regular job by that time) and my wife went to a senior center.

        While I was at the job I got a call from ADT that there was a break in at my house and the police were called. I quickly hurried home and found 2 policemen at my front door. The door was locked and upon opening it I noticed that my controller was torn off. I knew then that somebody had come into the house but it looked like nothing was taken.

        After looking around the main floor I noticed the door to the cellar was open and then remembered that I forgot to lock the basement door to the yard. That was how the thief had gotten in. However as soon as he opened the door the alarm went off.

        I hurried upstairs to our bedrooms (which are on the second floor) and saw in the bathroom that somebody had gone to the toilet in a hurry. The toilet bowl was unflushed and the thief had wiped himself with 1 of our towels.

        In our bedroom there was a pair of underwear stained with excrement. One of my drawers was opened and a pair of my underwear was missing. On the floor was quite a bit of loose change. Since nothing was missing I went downstairs and figured out what was happened.

        The thief entered the via the basement door setting off the alarm. He quickly hurried to the main floor and tore the controller off. Since the alarm quieted he thought he was safe and went about stealing stuff.

        However the main box was in the cellar and transmitted a break in signal. They then proceeded to call my house and when received no answer notified the police.

        Now when the thief heard the phone ring even if he picked it up he did not know the password and panicked. His bowels loosened up and he had to run up to the bathroom in the process staining his drawers. He then proceeded to steal 1 of mine but in changing some change dropped out of his pants. Not wasting any time he ran out the way he came in as he knew the police were coming.

        When I showed the police what happened and I explained the sequence of events they looked a bit amused.

        One of the police was a women and she excused her self and went outside to write her report. I later found out that she got hysterical and leaned on the car laughing her head off.

        The other cop went outside and evidently put in a call to the precinct because there were 5 patrol cars outside my house. When I asked what was the matter they said they were waiting for the lieutenant to come and make his report.

        When I brought down the stained underwear and asked if they wanted this for a DNA sample the second woman cop lost it and had to go outside where she almost collapsed from laughter.

        Finally they all left after I told them to look out for a man with a stain on his pants in the rear. The next day ADT came and fixed the controller and I have never again had any trouble.