TITLE: Sickening Romantic Behavior Author: Char Chaffin Category: MSR, humor Rating: Strong PG-13 Spoilers: Hmmm. One, for "All Things", otherwise takes place in Season 7 after AT. Requiem never happened - no preggers, no abduction... Disclaimer: Well, since I hate to see them unfulfilled... I consider myself morally responsible for getting them to shag... other than that, CC owns their cheekies - Summary: Easter dinner - and Scully faces her brother Charlie's unending teasing about her new relationship with Mulder... "You two are sickening together, you know." The bald statement from my brother Charlie took me by surprise, and I looked up from the rack of lamb I was dressing and stared at him open-mouthed. Charlie smirked at me and filched a deviled egg out from under my nose, easily avoiding the spatula I tried to whack him with. I dropped the rubber-tipped weapon and adopted a defensive stance, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't know what you mean, Charlie - exactly how are we sickening?" My younger brother downed half a bottle of the beer he was holding and popped the rest of the egg in his mouth, grimacing at the odd taste combination. "Ecchh - deviled eggs and Corona suck when mixed together. Don't try this at home, kiddies... where was I? Oh, yeah. Sickening. You are, you know. First time I've ever seen it, Danes - I never thought you'd end up that way. You always treated your boyfriends as if you were doing them a big favor just by standing next to them - which, come to think of it, you were - if I remember some of those geeks correctly..." This time he had to sidestep deftly to avoid the wet dishtowel I snapped at him. It still caught a nice chunk of his left ass cheek, allowing me a small bit of vindication for his rude remarks. I picked up the spatula and attacked the lamb again. The first Easter dinner I'd been able to wrangle my globe-trotting brother into attending, and he was giving me grief about the way I interacted with Mulder. Sheesh... I'd even let him bring his latest love interest: a lingerie model named Stephanie with large, um... lungs. You'd think he'd have been mature enough to just eat my food and visit with me nicely... and not hassle me as if we were still bratty kids fighting over the Pac-man remote. No such luck... I poked at the lamb with the spatula and frowned at my grinning sibling. "Don't distract me while I'm cooking, little brother. And I was always nice to the guys I dated. You can't count high school; we were all immature idiots back then." Charlie gulped the rest of his beer and went rooting in my fridge for anything else he could find to eat. He unearthed a bowl of bing cherries and began popping them in as fast as he could de-pit them. "Hurry up with that food, Sis - I'm starving. And I take grave exception to that crack about immaturity. I wasn't immature - " he ignored my snort of disbelief - "All my ladies thought I walked on water. But at least I wasn't sickening around them." He grinned at me around a mouthful of partially chewed cherries and waited for my comeback. I sighed and laid the spatula down a second time, and faced him. "By 'sickening', I assume the way you mean the solicitous way I assure that the love of my life is made comfortable in my home..." That's as far as I was allowed to go before Charlie cut me off with loud hoots of derision. "Give me a break! 'Solicitous'? 'Comfortable'? When he came in the door you almost knocked me over in your haste to reach him and attempt to suck his face off!" Charlie ignored my gasp and dumped pits and stems into my sink, then wiped his mouth on one of my new, clean dishtowels. I shook my head in disgust but refused to rise to his baiting. My brother had always known all the right buttons to push, but for once he wasn't going to get me. "All I did was welcome Mulder in with a kiss, Charlie. Same as I did for you..." Another loud hoot from my charming sibling. "Right, Danes - you always say hello to me by shoving your tongue down my throat and tickling my lungs!" He made retching noises like a two-year old, cracking himself up so much that he failed to move out of the way when my sauce-covered spatula hit him up side of his head. Still laughing, Charlie put the length of my kitchen table between us - wise move, I'd say. I was about ready to kill him. I picked up the lamb and slammed it into a glass baking pan, then rammed the whole thing into the oven, before deigning to answer my idiot brother. "I did not shove my tongue down Mulder's throat - I save that sort of behavior for our more private moments, whereas you never seem to mind who's in the room when you're sucking face." I shook my head at his short-term memory; not ten minutes before I came into the kitchen to check on dinner, Charlie had been sitting in an armchair with Stephanie on his lap and his lips applying enough suction to her mouth to pull her fillings out. Mulder had chuckled and squeezed my hand, as I sat next to him on the sofa and gawked at them both. My welcoming kiss to my partner had seemed like child's play compared to the display I was subjected to, before I finally jumped to my feet and mumbled something about dressing the lamb. Mulder had refrained from responding to my inane remark and had simply kissed my hand before he let me go, and Charlie just had to follow me in... he'd unceremoniously dumped his lady love from his lap and ordered her to 'keep Agent Mulder happy'... Stephanie had smiled prettily at both of us and her bright, "Okey-Dokey!" was annoying but cute. Mulder had cringed, though... ***************************** So I poured myself a glass of wine and sat at the kitchen table, pointing to the seat next to me. Charlie plopped himself down and swiped my wineglass and half the contents before I could stop him. I slapped at his hands irritably, finally sputtering, "Get your own! Jesus, nothing ever changes - still stealing my food and drink. Even when we were kids I never got to finish anything because you always had to have a bite or a sip - which would then stretch into two and three, until you found a way to get most of it." I couldn't help but smile at the memory and Charlie laughed as well, then pinned me with those damn all-seeing blue eyes of his. "So... tell me about him, Danes. Aside from the fact that you lollygag all over him and get all sappy when he's in the room..." He dodged the punch I threw his way and blithely continued, "I don't know anything much except for the stuff Bill's told me when he's been pissed about your relationship, which means I know less than nothing since I can't trust Bill to tell me the straight skinny when he's all lathered up with indignance." Charlie prodded me with one impatient finger. "Come on, Sissy - tell me the skinny Bill would rather not know about... you can even go off on the sickening stuff; I won't mind. How is he in bed?" I groaned and covered my eyes; only my younger brother would dare to ask me something like that. Even Missy wouldn't have tiptoed down that particular hallway - knowing I would not only refuse to answer but also flatten her for asking. I had always been a very private person when it came to sex. Well, okay - a hermit would be more like it. God, it had taken me forever to talk to Mulder about it! And now my smart-ass brother wanted to know how my boyfriend rated in the sack. In addition, he had the nerve to call our affection 'sickening'... I pondered that one, as I sat at my table with Charlie and debated whether or not he was even deserving of my confidence. He made it sound as if all we did all day long was moon at each other with cow-eyes. Not true at all - Mulder and I picked at each other all the time. We still bickered, even though we were now officially 'together'. He still drove me nuts. I could fill a book with my partner's annoying little habits. And I realized I'd spoken the last few sentences aloud when Charlie propped a hand under his chin and regarded me with concentration, his drawl of, "Do tell, Sissy," a demand for information that I knew would not ease until I gave him what he wanted... For instance, Mulder's habit of chewing everything within a foot of his mouth - most irritating. I remember being awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of him in an adjoining hotel room, crunching away on any manner of seed, nut or popcorn kernel. Funny how the muted noise of his television could lull me to sleep but the first crunch of a seed would have me wide awake. And I would lie there in my usually-lumpy hotel bed and tell myself he was really pissing me off, instead of picturing in my mind the way those lips of his enclosed the seed... The strength of his teeth as he cracked the shell and the intensity of that tongue of his as it extracted the meat. I once watched him in action with a particularly stubborn bit of sunflower meat, working his tongue to get to the tiny seed, and my thoughts at the moment - of how that tongue had to be strong enough to do pushups - actually got spoken aloud. I hadn't realized I'd said it until I found myself flat on my back in the middle of Mulder's unmade bed, with my partner straddling me and slowly stripping the clothes from my body as he whispered to me in a wickedly sexy rumble just how many ways he could prove the strength and dexterity of his tongue... Okay - bad example, Dana. Not a good idea, becoming stuck to your chair right in front of your brother... yet I couldn't stop myself from recalling just a few of the ways he'd proven to me my supposition about his tongue. I squirmed uncomfortably, trying my best not to alert Charlie to my discomfort, knowing he'd run with it forever. Luckily, I don't think Charlie noticed anything out of the ordinary other than my pathetic attempt to convince him he was wrong... I silently willed my brain to think of something else. Concentrate, Dana... aha! Got one - those big, clumsy feet of his and the sneakers I always tripped over when I would go to his apartment, as well as the way they would end up in front of my own door. They were always in the way and I'd always fall over them. At my place, Mulder would prop those large feet on my coffee table, making smudges on the glass top. Not that I'm an overly neat freak, but I cannot abide smudges on glass; it's so annoying. Once he'd stopped by after a strenuous basketball game and had dropped his sneakers in their usual place, causing me to trip over them (as usual) when I went out to retrieve the Sunday paper which Mulder never thought to bring in for me. Not that I was complaining... Well, maybe a little. That particular day I had sighed and picked up the paper and had taken it into my living room, only to find Mulder ensconced on my sofa with the TV remote in hand and both sweaty-socked feet propped on my glass coffee table. I'd immediately taken umbrage to the offense and had given him what-for. "Mulder, you're getting sweat-smudges all over my table, again... would you please take off those damp socks?" I'd stood over him, glaring down into his amused eyes, my hands planted on my hips. He grinned up at me and uncrossed his feet, moving them close enough to reach his socks and remove them - then he positioned his legs on either side of me and before I could figure his intent, he'd boxed me in. Those feet of his slipped up the backs of my thighs and propelled me forward; I lost my balance and ended up on his chest. His arms had clamped around me and brought me down very close - and he'd murmured to me just before he covered my mouth with his. "Don't make fun of my feet, Scully - they're very talented." And when he proceeded to demonstrate just how talented his feet really were, I sure couldn't argue with him; I could only moan and sigh against his mouth and attempt to keep track of their many talents as I fought to remember just why I'd been irritated in the first place... Damn. Another bad example. I swore if I dug deeply enough I could find plenty of annoying Mulder traits, and vindicate Charlie's accusation that Mulder and I waxed sickening when we were together. The trouble was, I didn't think we acted much differently than I had seen Charlie act, with any number of lovelies he'd brought home to this wedding or to that family holiday, over the years. Stephanie was a prime example of a Charlie-groupie; she obviously adored him and had kept him latched to her side, hanging on with one hand even when he chose to come into the kitchen and harass me while I was fixing Easter dinner. Mulder had caught the look both Charlie and I had tossed him, and was happy enough to engage her in conversation, mostly asking her a lot of questions about her current career as a lingerie model... I had tried very hard not to give my brother grief about that little discovery, and how did he repay me? By going off about the sappiness of my relationship with my partner... Sigh. ***************************** So I sat across the kitchen table from my smirking brother and grasped at the dumbest things; little things about Mulder that normally one would never notice, or care about. And Charlie knew exactly what I was doing, and why - and the gleam of mirth in his eyes got brighter with each reason I fabricated to refute the 'sickening' thing... "Mulder leaves the toilet seat up." At that remark my brother merely snorted and his reply made me think about how silly this was getting. "So what? Women constantly put the toilet seat down and you don't hear us men complaining, do you? Anyway, an upset over the positioning of toilet seats doesn't make your behavior any less sickening. Try again, Sis." I fumed silently in my seat. "This is ridiculous, Charlie. Why should I care what you think about the way I react to the man in my life?" I stood up abruptly and walked to the oven to check on the lamb. I could feel my brother's laughing eyes following me as I worked. "Because you do - you always have, Danes. You never cared for Bill's opinion, and you could tell Missy to go to hell on a moments' notice if she said something you didn't like - but it's different with us and you know it. It's driving you nuts that you can't refute my statement; am I right?" I turned from the oven and stared at him; stared at my handsome, infuriatingly correct younger brother - then threw up my hands in defeat. "YES! It's annoying the shit out of me! YOU'RE annoying the shit out of me! And I ask myself why I should care that you think my relationship with Mulder is sappy. Maybe I've finally found someone worth my sap! Did you ever think of that, huh?" I was babbling and Charlie was loving every minute of it, the little snot. He jumped to his feet and crowed his triumph aloud. "YESS! I've still got 'The Gift'! After all this time I can still make you insane! My record is unbroken! I RULE!" He danced over to the fridge and grabbed another beer, then popped the cap and saluted me with the bottle. "Now all I have to do to complete this day is to ask Mulder the same thing!" And he turned to whirl out the door, but I grabbed his free arm in a panic; that last remark had truly pushed all of my buttons at once. I made him face me and I found myself alternating between threats and pleading. "Charlie, don't you DARE say anything to Mulder! I'll hurt you badly, I swear it... don't even think of it! We haven't... I mean, he didn't..." I stuttered to a stop, unwilling to reveal anything further and give my rat brother more ammunition. That's the way it had always been between Charlie and me. And I hated it, but he could provoke me like nothing else in this world, and I fell for it every time. You'd think I would have learned by now to leave it be. Mom used to tell me it was impossible for someone to tease you if you didn't want to be teased... God knows I managed to plug up Mulder's efforts whenever I'd wanted to. But my brother was a different story altogether. And the narrowed look on his amused face told me he'd caught the tail end of my stutter, for he grinned the most evil grin... "Uh-oh... one or more of you haven't said the "L" word yet, have you? All this goop between you, and that little phrase has been overlooked. Come to think of it, Danes... I bet you've never said those words to any man." My face flamed bright red and I let go of Charlie's arm, but he wouldn't let me turn away from him. He grasped my shoulders and held me in place while he searched my eyes for the truth I couldn't seem to hide from him. His expression was one of dawning comprehension, and I groaned and rested my forehead against his arm in renewed defeat. I never could keep anything from my little brother; we had a connection that wouldn't go away, even as we'd gotten older and led our separate lives. He whispered to me, still holding onto me. "You're afraid, aren't you, Danes? Jeez... even I can see how much the guy adores you, and I've only been in the same room with him for a few hours! If my memory serves me correctly, I believe this man has gone to Hell and back for you several times, the same as you've done for him. He practically radiates endless devotion, Sis... so what's the problem?" I tried one last time to break away, and Charlie wasn't having any of it, for his grip only tightened. I sighed and let my shoulders slump. My response was low; my voice rough to my own ears. "I can't joke around about this, Charlie - it's too important. Words are hard for me sometimes, and when I'm with Mulder they become almost impossible to utter. It's so easy for me to retreat into my little shell and pretend I'm immune to the world around me. For so long we worked side by side and there wasn't room for anything in our lives but the X-Files and Mulder's consuming search for his sister. I had subjugated my feelings for him for so long that when I was finally free to declare myself, I had forgotten how." I let my mind drift back to that night; the night circumstances forced me to face my feelings and act upon them - how the only way I could show Mulder my heart was to displace words with deeds... **************************** That night I'd awoken stiff and chilled, still on Mulder's sofa. The blanket he'd covered me with had slipped to the floor and the air in the apartment was cold. I had stumbled to his bathroom, hoping I wouldn't wake him up. I never looked toward the bed when I walked into the room, but moved silently to the bath and closed the door. I'd used the toilet and washed my hands and had turned off the light before I even re-opened the door. I had tiptoed past the occupied bed again, congratulating myself on making it out of the room without waking Mulder... and I heard his low voice as I began to close yet another door behind me. "Stay." Just one word, low and gravelly with emotion and need. I heard it in his tone and when I turned to look at him in the semi-darkness I saw it in his glistening eyes, gone dark with the kind of longing I'd been carrying in my heart for so long that I barely recognized it for what it truly was, because it had become such an accustomed part of me. I could feel my heart pounding much too fast, and the hard grip I tried to keep on my own cool sensibilities was rapidly evaporating into nothingness, as I found myself trapped in his gaze. Sitting up in a tangle of rumpled sheets, bare-chested and tumble-haired, a night-time growth of beard on his face and one hand extending itself toward me... God, I'm a strong person but I could not withstand such a lethal mixture of temptation. I just couldn't. I walked to the bed like a sleepwalker and heard my jacket hit the floor in a soft whisper of wool as I shook it from my shoulders; felt my hands reach under the hem of my sweater and lift it, up past my waist, all the way over my head and joining my lonely jacket next to his bed. When my cold hands touched my bare waist I jumped a little, as if other, unknown hands were doing the touching - and my eyes were still locked with Mulder's intense hazel stare. My breathing had accelerated and so had his; in the silent room the twin huffs of adrenaline-soaked air were especially loud. I tried to unzip my skirt and just couldn't seem to make my fingers obey; I guess the skittery frustration I was feeling must have been evident on my face, because Mulder leaned in closer to me, and both of his hands gently pushed mine aside and completed the task for me. Against my sensitive skin his hands were so warm, almost hot... especially when they tugged the remainder of my clothing down over my hips and let it pool at my feet. I stepped out of the wool and silk puddle and took one shaky step, into my partner's waiting arms... and I never looked back. I remember I was shy... I remember that although I had a few moments of aggressiveness, overall I felt so very inadequate. Yet all at once these nerves I never recalled having were sweeping through me and setting fire to my blood, as I knelt in the circle of Mulder's arms and experienced those first amazing kisses. A brush of one lip to another, just the merest lick of his tongue - and he was pulling away and his eyes were melting into mine in the same sort of wonder I knew had to be reflected upon my face. I tried to smile and instead found myself tearing up; Mulder brushed away the ones that managed to overflow before they could drip on the bed. And he bent his head and traced my wet cheeks with his bottom lip, kissing me so softly I thought perhaps I had imagined it. I remember I pushed my trembling fingers through his hair and held on for dear life when he decided he'd had enough of gentle... and his mouth took mine, hard. That first time was awkward and silent and too rough and too tender and didn't last nearly long enough... and it was perfect. Both of us starving for the human touch, having been denied it for so very long... my shyness and his overwhelming need to let me have it all, even the feelings I didn't know I needed. He tried to speak several times, as he moved on my body and kissed me here or caressed me there. But I wouldn't let him speak, and I kept my own cards very close to my heart, as I responded to what he was making me feel. I wanted it without words to clutter and clog the emotion running hot and thick between us; wanted it clean and bright, that first time. And as I curled my fingers into his skin and hung on to him; as he ran that silky-rasp of a tongue over each of my breasts and down my fluttery stomach, headed straight for the one place I prayed he'd go... the words of love were fighting for dominance over my common sense, and I had to bite down on my inner cheek to keep from screaming them. In my lingering insecurity I couldn't quite be sure they would be returned to me, though Mulder had been the one to say it first, so long ago - though I could see each word blazing in his eyes and spilling over onto me with every tender thrust his body gave mine. I could see it... Weeks later, I was seeing it every minute of every day I spent with Mulder. As I stood in my kitchen on Easter Sunday, remembering that night... I realized with a start of shock that much of what I had remembered I had spoken aloud, to my brother Charlie - who stood next to me and wound an arm around my shoulders and hugged me, as my voice petered out and the blush on my cheeks threatened to work its way over my entire body. My brother cleared his throat, and his soft voice was, for once, devoid of teasing or snickering. "I'd like to think that when Stephanie talks about me to her family or friends, that her eyes will glaze over and her voice will take on just that very tone I heard in yours, Sis - the sound of true sickeningness..." At the ridiculous, made-up word my shoulders started to shake, and for once I didn't feel like hitting him for his impertinence. And for the first time that day I was willing to admit that Mulder and I were indeed the very epitome of 'sickening' romantic behavior... and I didn't mind in the least. I gave my brother a return hug and slipped out from under his arm, smiling at him with affection as I headed back to the oven to check on the lamb. And I tossed a carelessly loving retort his way as I opened up a drawer and pulled out a pair of mitts. "Get out of my hair, Little Brother - go keep Stephanie company. And would you please send Mulder in here? Wake him up if you have to..." Charlie nodded, then turned back to me, curious. "How do you know he's asleep?" I grinned and opened the oven door, carefully. "I just know." Five minutes later Mulder sauntered in, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes without me seeing him doing it. I kept my face turned partially away as I put the finishing touches on the mint sauce, and pretended I didn't see him yawning. He came up behind me and dropped a string of warm kisses over the back of my neck - and I lost the battle of the 'tremble' in an instant. That mouth of his... God. Absolutely lethal. I took my hands out of the mint sauce and pressed them down on the counter to ground myself as Mulder's arms slipped around my waist and his big hands cupped me softly at breast-level. In a suitably monotone Lurch-from-Addams-Family kind of voice, he intoned, "You rang...?" I relaxed back against his mouth and his sweater-clad chest, and let the feel of those lips of his wash away every single anxiety-laden worry I'd had about this dinner, and how my brother would react to finally meeting the man whom I adored and loved more than my life. I murmured breathlessly as one hand moved to my face and kept my cheek still so his mouth could slide over it. "Just wanted to wake you up in time for dinner, Mulder..." His low chuckle rumbled against my skin as he pressed his face into my neck and licked at my collarbone, giving me the shivers yet again. I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his shoulders as I stared straight into his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the frightening and much-needed utterance of the words which would cement forever the more 'sickening' aspects of our relationship... "Mulder... Happy Easter..." I was stalling and I had an awful feeling Mulder could tell, because he leaned back with an impish look on his face and waited, still cuddling me very close. I took a deep breath and fought to rid my voice of the squeak I just knew would pop out as soon as I opened my mouth. "Mulder... I love it that you're here with me today - I love it that you are getting along so well with Charlie... I love it that you're so comfortable with being here that you could fall asleep right in front of Stephanie the lingerie model -" Mulder choked on a laugh and gave me a huge squeeze, encouraging me to push the remainder out before I lost my nerve. I took another deep breath. "Mulder... I love you." The tender look in his eyes actually softened even more as I finally got those words out; he bent down into my face and I felt myself falling into his hazel depths. The smile he sent into my heart was wide and delighted and went on and on, as I struggled to continue. "I waited almost too long to say it... I'm sorry I was so afraid to tell you..." A warm finger across my lips stopped me from saying anything else, as Mulder smiled again, and pulled me down onto his lap as he sat on the nearest kitchen chair. He cradled me in his arms and his voice was so full of love it made me tremble. "You DID tell me, Scully... that first night we were together, you told me. Maybe not with words... but you told me. I've always known you loved me; I've known for years. How could I not?" He kissed the sudden moisture from each of my eyes, and threaded a hand through my hair as I gazed at him. Another kiss dropped on my nose, before he continued, "You must have told me a thousand times that night, with each kiss you gave me and every tiny moan I heard in my ear. It was in your eyes and written all over you, Scully... remember I am very well-versed in all aspects of ScullySpeak." I released a shaky giggle into his mouth as Mulder kissed me again, and pressed me even closer. I let my mouth and my tongue shout my feelings to him as his lips moved against me, and when he pulled away I laid my head on his shoulder and felt the strong beat of his heart against mine, and the reassuring rub of his hands up and down my back. And I never wanted to move again, not even to serve dinner to my brother Charlie and his model girl Stephanie... Then the soft shuffle of Charlie's size eleven sneakers announced his presence in the kitchen, about three seconds before his amused snicker hit my ears. "Just as I thought... no food on the table and nooky happening right underneath my very nose. You guys are sickening, you know..." Mulder met Charlie's wide grin with an equally broad one of his own, and pulled me even closer - and his reply made me very happy to be alive and in love - and happy. "You got that right, Charlie - sickening. To the max..." end Feedback is a wondrous thing... email me, at alaska_1013@hotmail.com, if you like what you read! Please visit my web site, at http://char.chaffin.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Believe the Words...' http://char.chaffin.com alaska_1013@hotmail.com