From: Jennifer Maurer Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 11:55:45 -0500 Subject: *NEW* "Her Brother's Keeper" Source: direct DISCLAIMERS: They are so not mine. SPOILERS: Millennium, and no it's not another kiss-fic CATEGORY: S with A on top RATING: PG-13 for vaguely adult situations SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully find themselves at odds when Charlie Scully comes back into his sister's life. ARCHIVE: I'll send it to Gossamer myself. Ephemeral and Spookys, go ahead. Everyone else please ask first. COMMENTS: I decided it was about time to explore the mystery that is Charles Scully. This story is from both Mulder's and Scully's POV; sections are separated with this: *~*~*~*~* Other author's comments at end of story. Many thanks once again to Kestabrook for not only her beta services, but her friendship and wise words as well. Send me feedback: jenbird@earthlink.net HER BROTHER'S KEEPER By: Jennifer Maurer In retrospect, I'm not sure what bothers me more: the fact that Scully didn't tell me until I asked, or the fact that it took me so long to ask in the first place. I mean, the guy's her brother, and in the seven years I'd known her she'd only mentioned him a handful of times; but as I said, I never asked. It just never occurred to me, which doesn't speak very well for me, I admit. All I can say in my own defense is that after meeting the elder Scully brother, I was in no hurry to meet the other one. On the other hand, I think Scully, knowing her brother Charles as she did, could pretty much guess what his attitude towards me would be. But what I had assumed was protection from another brother was actually something else altogether. So I suppose blame, if you want to call it that, can be laid on both sides. As most of our falling-outs seemed to do, it began with something very simple: a phone call. Skinner had left a message on our voicemail that afternoon concerning our latest case. Scully and I had both been anxious to leave for the day: she'd told me she had plans with her mother, and I had a date with the Lone Gunmen to go over some information they'd found. We saved the message to listen to again in the morning, and parted ways as usual. Later that evening, something Byers said reminded me of the case, and I called into the voicemail to listen to Skinner's message more carefully. Instead of getting the voicemail, however, someone answered the phone. "Scully." "It's me...what are you doing there?" "Mulder?" She was obviously as surprised as I was. "Yeah. I was calling to check the voicemail. I wasn't expecting anyone to answer this late." "Oh. Well. I just dropped by for something." "Is everything okay? I thought you were having dinner with your mom." "I'm fine. Everything's fine." "How's your mom? Put her on, I'd like to say hi." "It's not my mom, it's my brother. I was having dinner with my brother. You must have misheard me." I didn't think I had, but I didn't argue with her. "Jeez, Scully, you could have warned me Bill was going to be in town. I would have applied for the witness protection program." Silence. Damn. Guess I crossed the boundaries of good taste with that quip. "So how did you end up at the office, anyway?" I asked, hoping to move past my last comment. "I'm giving him the guided tour." "Huh. I'm shocked. Bill actually wants to see the office?" Another pause. I figured she was reaching the end of her patience with my lame sense of humor. I was just about to apologize for both tactless remarks when she spoke. "It's not Bill, Mulder; it's Charlie. My younger brother." "Oh, wow. I mean, that's nice. When he did get into town?" And why didn't you mention it, I thought. "He--I need to get going, Mulder. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "You sound kind of tense, Scully. Are you sure everything's all right?" "Yes, I'm fine," she answered sharply, "I'll talk to you later." And with that, she hung up. "So what is the scrumptious Agent Scully up to this evening?" I hadn't even noticed Frohike come into the room until he spoke. I replaced the receiver slowly and turned to him. "She had...plans," I answered vaguely. Frohike took one look at the expression on my face and snapped into full battle mode. "Is this a situation we need to investigate and eradicate?" he asked. "No, no...she's having dinner with her brother, Charlie. Apparently she was giving him a tour of the office when I called." "I could still run a background check," he offered. "No, there's no reason for that. I mean, he's her brother, for God's sake." "Oh, you've met him before? He as bad-ass as the other one?" "I really wouldn't know," I mumbled, as I followed him back out into the main room. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I hung up the phone harder than I meant to, and Charlie turned from his perusal of Mulder's bulletin board to look at me. "Dee? Everything okay?" I smiled at hearing Charlie call me by his nickname for me. When we were children, I got as far as explaining that Dana started with "D" and he stuck with that. "Yeah, everything's fine." "That's what you told Mulder. How about telling me the truth?" From anyone else, a remark like that would have stung, but Charlie and I had always been honest with each other, sometimes almost brutally so. He had been the only one who supported me without hesitation when I decided to join the FBI--even Melissa had been wary at first. In turn, I had fiercely defended him when he had his own troubles with the family. We had fallen out of touch occasionally throughout the years, as work or other demands of adulthood weighed upon us, but deep down I knew Charlie would always back me, no matter what. Polite evasions such as "I'm fine" never worked with him, so I decided I might as well come clean. I sighed and leaned back against the desk, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's...kind of complicated." "Are you sleeping with him?" I could feel myself blushing at the question. "Why ever are you turning that lovely shade of rosy red, Dee? Don't tell me you're too old to talk trash with your baby brother." "Never mind about my age. I could still make you blush if necessary." "And so the answer to my question would be..." "No." "Have you forgotten how?" "No, being a doctor I think I still know where all the parts go." "And does Mulder have all his parts?" "Of course he does. Don't be ridiculous." "You've checked, I'm sure." "I may have caught a glimpse or two. Everything seems to be there. It's just...I don't know, Charlie. Sometimes I get the feeling that a relationship with Mulder would be the most spectacular thing in my life. As in soulmates and everlasting love and all that. But other times..." "You're scared." I nodded, relieved that Charlie had, as usual, gotten to the heart of the problem without me having to stumble around for words. "Very. I don't know what I would do if something went wrong. This would not be like breaking up with your boyfriend, Charlie. If I lost Mulder...I would lose part of myself. A big part." "Yeah, all that better to have loved and lost stuff is a lot of crap. On the other hand, Dee, you never know--" "--What will happen if I don't try," I finished in unison with him. "God, you sound just like Mom." "I think Emerson put it better: always do what you are afraid to do." I blew out a big sigh. "I know, Charlie. And I think lately Mulder and I have been getting closer to the point where we will take that last step. Sometimes I think we've taken it already, and we just haven't admitted it to ourselves yet." "From what you've told me of Mulder, I think you two are very lucky to have found each other." I smiled. "You're right, we are. And I think we both know it." "And now that we've settled that, when do I get to meet this specimen of manhood who has captured my sister's heart?" "Oh, I don't know. We'll set up something," I said, walking past Charlie to lead the way out of the office. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Half a dozen times throughout the evening I almost asked Frohike to do that background check. Almost. I was loathe to invade Scully's privacy by running a check on one of her own family members, but her evasions were starting to worry me. What could be the reason that I had never met or even heard much about Charlie? Was it just that he hated me, sight unseen, as much as Bill did? Or was something else going on? I will admit that curiosity was not my only ulterior motive. Lately I had been basking in the idea that Scully and I were closer than ever before. Ever since I had kissed her on New Year's Eve I had been hearing fewer "I'm fine's," and we were both slowly becoming more open with each other. I had taken that as a very hopeful sign for the future, until tonight. Now I could only seem to focus on two things: Scully's long absent brother was apparently back in her life, and she didn't want me to know anything about it. That hurt. I forced myself to put it out of my mind for the rest of the evening. Well, I tried, anyway. As much as I wanted to know, I would have to wait for Scully to tell me in her own good time. This was a difficult thing for me to accept, since when I get the slightest hint that Scully is unhappy or in trouble, my first instinct is to wade in and start rescue operations. This was her brother, so the potential for danger was next to nothing. Something was bothering her, I could tell that much, but it appeared that she wasn't ready to tell me just then, so I'd have to wait. Exercise a little restraint, in other words. I could handle that. Frohike, as it turned out, could not. When I was deep in conversation with Langly and not keeping an eye on the little troll, he did an extensive background check on one Scully, Charles David. By various illegal means, naturally, which allowed him to obtain additional information not usually available through more--shall we say--conventional channels. I gave him hell, of course, but when all was said and done, I did take a look at what he'd dug up. I reasoned that although I hadn't initiated the search, the information was there, so I might as well glance over it. It was one ordinary item that piqued my interest the most. "He lives in Baltimore?" "Yep. Scully's right in between the two of you. Funny, huh?" "Yeah, isn't it." "So what's he like?" "I have no idea," I said brusquely, "I've never met the guy." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I didn't notice just how quiet Charlie was at first. After his careful examination of the bizarre pictures covering my office walls, I expected a few questions, or at the very least a joke or two. He was silent the whole ride home; whenever I glanced over at him, he was staring out the window, chewing on his bottom lip. This was also my own usual expression when thinking about things, so I left him alone with his thoughts. When we got back to my apartment, he puttered around for awhile, muttering under his breath. Again, another behavior familiar to me. I do it all the time when I'm gearing up to tell Mulder something difficult. I started to worry a little that perhaps Charlie was going to say something Bill-like about the nature of my job, although he had never been the type who would do something like that. What he did have to say surprised me even more. "Are you ashamed of me, Dana?" "I---what?" "I said," he repeated quietly, picking at a thread on my couch, "are you ashamed of me?" "Charlie, no, of course not! Why would you ask me that?" "I was thinking...I don't know, it kind of seems..." "Charlie, this is me, Dana. Your sister. We've kicked Bill's ass for each other too many times to count. You know I'm on your side no matter what you do." "Then why do I get the feeling that you're avoiding introducing me to Mulder?" I couldn't answer him at first. I just gaped at him. "Maybe I'm wrong," he continued, "It just seemed to me that you were a little nervous when he called. He didn't know you were having dinner with me tonight, did he?" "I don't tell Mulder every little detail of my personal life." "From what I overheard of your conversation, it sounded like he had the impression you were going to be with Mom tonight." "He misheard me, that's all. He wasn't paying attention." "And when you did tell him it was your brother, he thought you were talking about Bill," Charlie continued, starting to get angry. "Jesus, Dana, does he know I exist at all?" "Of course he does!" I snapped. "And what exactly does he know about me?" "He...he knows that you're my younger brother. Anything else is none of his business, Charlie." "Dee, look," he said, calmer now, "I know you've gone through a lot with the family as far as I'm concerned. That had to have been rough on you. Most people wouldn't blame you if you didn't want me to meet Mulder." "How can you say such a thing to me?" I asked. "Do you actually believe that I would be ashamed of you, my own brother?" "I don't want to think that," he said, and I could hear the hurt in his voice. "But it wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened to me. You've told me how important Mulder is to you, yet I've never met him. Maybe you're afraid of how he might judge me." I sat frozen in place, unable to respond as Charlie got up and walked to the door. "Or maybe you're afraid that he might judge you," he said quietly, and left. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The next morning I made sure to arrive at the office before Scully. I wanted some time alone to think about everything, and to decide how I would ask her about it, if I would mention it at all. As I walked in the door, my first reflex was to look around and make sure everything was still in its place. It was a knee jerk reaction, and I hated myself for it as soon as I realized what I was doing. After losing the X-Files to the fire, I had become more protective of them than ever, and the thought of strangers on my "turf" bothered me more than I cared to admit. Sometimes I wanted to pile the furniture against the door to keep everyone out...everyone except Scully. And that was exactly who had been here last night, I reminded myself severely. Just Scully, the same person I'd known for seven years. If she didn't share every detail of her family life with me, so what? That didn't mean that I couldn't trust her. I was being stupid to even think any differently about her. I was still curious about her brother, though. His sudden reappearance in her life after an absence of at least seven years was suspicious, to say the least. Where had he been for all these years---and why was he showing up now? I used that reason as my justification to thoroughly examine the background check Frohike had taken it upon himself to provide for me. Scully and I had both been manipulated by fake siblings before. After what I had gone through with the several Samantha impostors I had encountered, I didn't want Scully to go through the same thing. Everything looked normal, but that in itself didn't surprise me. I had no doubt that Charles Scully was an upstanding citizen, like the rest of the Scully clan. He had moved to Baltimore only two years ago, though, and I thought that was a little too convenient. If it really was him, that is. What bothered me even more was that Scully was obviously keeping something from me. I knew well enough by then that Scully was a very private person. I had only met her mother when Scully was abducted, and Bill even later than that. If she hadn't wanted to tell me who she would be with last night, that was fine. But why did she feel the need to lie to me? When Scully arrived at the office that morning, I could tell she was preoccupied with something. I stayed out of her way for the better part of the morning, trying to observe her demeanor without being obvious about it. Finally I realized that I was treating her like the spy I had thought she was when I met her. What had happened to the new openness between us that I had been secretly congratulating myself on, I wondered. I decided to break from my usual routine of brooding and just come out and ask her. "Did you have a nice time last night?" I asked. "Hmm?" she said, startled out whatever she had been doing. "Oh, yes, we did." "So what does Charlie think of his big sister's job?" "Oh, he was very impressed," she said vaguely, going back to her typing. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. Something was going on, and I was determined to find out what it was, tact be damned. "You know, I don't think I misheard you yesterday," I said. "Excuse me?" "Why did you tell me you were going to be with your mother last night, Scully?" "Mulder, first of all, you *must* have misheard me. I said 'my brother,' not 'my mother'. And second of all, since when do I have to explain myself to you?" I was more stung by her remark than I let on, but I continued. "I'm just worried about you, Scully, that's all. I mean, your brother's been living an hour away from you for two years, and he only now shows up out of the blue? Doesn't that strike you as a little strange?" "For your information, Mulder, Charlie didn't just show up out of the blue, and---wait. How did you know that he only lives an hour away from me?" Oh, fuck. I met her angry gaze head on with a growing feeling of desperation. There was no good answer to this question, and I knew it. "Mulder? I asked you how you knew where Charlie lives." Her voice had that deadly quiet tone that told me she was extremely angry. I swallowed and said nothing. I wanted to drop through the floor. "Have you been following me, Mulder?" she asked, so softly I could barely hear her. I jumped at the chance to deny this much, at least. "Scully, no! I would never do that." "Then what did you do?" "I didn't mean to do it," I blurted hastily, "But Frohike may have somehow gotten the impression I wanted to, um, run a background check." "On my brother." I nodded miserably. She closed her eyes and stood very still. I could tell she was about a hair away from losing it, and I tried the only thing I could think of to diffuse the situation. "In my own defense, Scully, I know nothing about the guy...and I guess Frohike picked up on that and kind of jumped to conclusions." "And of course you had to read the information once he gave it to you. You didn't bother to set him straight, I suppose." "No, I---" She cut me off with one upraised hand, and opened her eyes. I flinched at the incredible anger in her face. "Not another word, Mulder. Not one more word. I don't want to hear it." Before I could even try to say anything else, we were interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. Scully fished hers out of her blazer pocket, saw it was hers ringing, and thumbed it on. "Scully." For the first time since all this started, it occurred to me that I might have done something unforgivable. "No, now's not a bad time," she said, heading for the door. "Let me just step out of the office so I can have some privacy." Scully shot me a venomous look at those words and slammed the door behind her. I felt my knees turn to water, and slowly sank down into my chair. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Dee, are you sure this is a good time to talk?" "Yes, I'm sure," I said. "I'm just walking outside with the phone to get some air." "I'm sorry to bother you at work, but I wanted to apologize for the things I said last night. I'm the last person who should be judging the way you live your life." I sighed and continued through the parking garage into the courtyard. "No, Charlie, you don't have to apologize. I admit, I may have been a little reluctant to tell Mulder anything about you, but not just because of the way the family reacted. I don't think Mulder would react that way, and if he did, then obviously I never really knew him. It's just that I think it's a very personal thing to know about someone." "Yeah, I guess it is. But I should have heard you out instead of jumping to the conclusion that you were trying to hide me from your friends just because..." he trailed off. "Because that's what Mom did," I finished for him. "Well, yeah. She doesn't know what to make of me, I think, or how to act. Bill didn't seem to have that problem." "Because he automatically acted like an asshole, which is his instinctive response in any given situation," I said. Charlie chuckled. "He has his moments. But what I really wanted to tell you, Dee, is that I know you're on my side. I was feeling a little insecure and so I assumed you were treating me like the rest of the family does. I should have known better, and I'm sorry." I sank down onto one of the benches. "It's an emotional issue, Charlie. For both of us. But you know I support you, no matter what." "I know. I love you, Dee." I felt tears prick my eyes even as I smiled at his words. "I love you, too, little brother." "Oh, one more thing." "What?" "Tell Mulder to be good to you or I'll kick his ass when I meet him." "I'm sure he'll find it a refreshing change from Bill's very real threats of actual bodily harm," I replied, and laughed as we hung up. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and sat back on the bench, blowing out a big sigh. I was glad to have straightened out my misunderstanding with Charlie, but beneath that good feeling was my lingering anger at Mulder. I was almost touched, in a bizarre way, that he had so feared for my safety that he would go to all that trouble--for I had a suspicion he had, at least, dropped some major hints to Frohike, if not actively encouraged him. But more than that, I was also still angry at his invasion of my privacy, especially where it concerned a family member. His reaction would have been more appropriate had he caught me conspiring with CancerMan, but then again, this was Mulder. His own family life had been such a disaster that it shouldn't have surprised me that he was at a loss as to what to do. His heart was in the right place, even if his methods were unorthodox, to say the least, I realized. So by the time he hesitantly crept over and sat beside me, I wasn't really angry anymore. "Scully, I'm sorry," he said meekly. I looked over at him, and he looked like a whipped puppy. I held out my hand to him, and he grasped it eagerly. I could feel the sweat on his palm and realized just how frightened he had been of my anger. "I know you are, Mulder. And I also know that your intentions were good." I gave him a pointed look, as if daring him to deny that, but he nodded. "However...unintentional my intentions may have been, yes. I really didn't ask Frohike to do anything. When he gave me the information, I...well, there's no excuse for the way I acted. It's just that...it seemed suspicious to me that your brother was suddenly back on the scene, and after what I went through with Samantha..." I scooted closer to him, and he put his arm around my shoulders, letting out a shaky sigh. It hadn't even occurred to me that Mulder might think along those lines. He'd had his heart broken so many times over Samantha just in the years that I'd known him that his actions concerning Charlie suddenly made me very sad, and the last of my anger slipped away. "Mulder, I understand now what you were thinking. I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about. Charlie hasn't just come back into my life, you know. We've stayed in touch over the years, even if I didn't get to see him very often. He's always been there for me...but not in the ways you have, or my family has. Charlie is...estranged from the rest of the family." Mulder looked completely surprised. "I can't imagine your mom...and family always seemed so important to Bill, from the things he said to me when I met him." "Family is important to Bill, but it has to be *his* kind of family, as I'm sure you've noticed. Charlie didn't fit into Bill's idea of what he should be...just as I don't. But for different reasons." I turned slightly on the bench to face Mulder. I wanted to be able to see what his reaction would be. "Charlie is gay, Mulder." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Scully studied me closely as she told me about her brother, as if judging what my reaction might be. My first reaction was to be hurt that she thought I wouldn't accept her brother because of that, but I tried to hide that and listen to what she had to say. From my own limited experience with Bill, I could only imagine what his reaction to this would have been, and how Scully got caught in the middle. "I take it Bill wasn't very...accepting," I said. "That's putting it mildly," she agreed sadly. "The things he said to Charlie...Mulder, they would make your blood run cold. You may think you've seen Bill at his worst, but you haven't even seen half of the damage he can do to someone. He said he was glad Dad was dead, so he never had to know that his own son was a...fag. Bill told him he was breaking Mom's heart, and not to expect to be allowed to have any further contact with the family, because he wasn't about to let us catch any of 'those diseases.' I have never heard such hateful things come out of a person's mouth. Melissa was already gone by the time Charlie came out to the family, so there was no one to stand by him except for me." "How did your mom feel about it?" I asked. Scully sighed. "I think Mom is terribly conflicted about the whole thing. Charlie and Bill are her sons, and she loves them both equally. However, she is also a very devout Catholic, as you know, and the church tells her that homosexuality is wrong and sinful, so she feels it is. I don't think she ever meant to alienate Charlie, or make him feel that she was taking Bill's side over his...she didn't want to take *any* sides, and didn't know *what* to say...but by her silence she led everyone to believe that she agreed with Bill." "I can't imagine how you dealt with such a chasm in your family," I said quietly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, my parents hated each other, but they never saw each other, either." Scully shrugged, trying to make light of it, but I could tell by her carefully set expression how much remembering all this hurt her. "I fought with Bill, didn't talk about it with Mom, and only saw Charlie alone. It's easier on both of us that way. He is not any less my brother because of the way he lives his life; we just choose to be there for each other in our own ways. And that's why you've never met him, Mulder. Not out of any kind of shame, but because I don't see him with the rest of the family." "And whenever they've been around, I've been around." She nodded. "Actually, you did almost see him, once. He told me. When I had cancer. He said he saw you going into my room one night, and so he waited until you left before he went in." "I didn't want to wake you," I said, remembering how I had cried silently at her bedside that night. She squeezed my arm to show me she understood. "That's the way it's been for the past few years," she said. "It's not a situation we like, but it's one we have learned to live with, until things change. And I think they will; Mom knows I see Charlie, and she asks me about him. She may never reconcile her religious beliefs to his lifestyle, but I hope the day comes when it won't keep them apart, either. As for Bill...I think Charlie's written him off, and sometimes I think I have, too." "How do your beliefs fit into all this?" I asked, gesturing towards her cross. She took it between her thumb and forefinger and stroked it for a bit before she answered. "Some might say I'm oversimplifying, or ignoring some of God's teachings, but one of the first things every child learns is that God is love. I've seen Charlie in love, and I've seen him miserable, trying to mold love into what society thinks it should look like. I don't claim to have all the answers; I only know what I feel, and how I interpret what the church teaches. You know my beliefs have changed a lot over the years, but I have never changed my opinion that the way Charlie loves is different, but not wrong or evil." "Plato said that long ago, people were joined in pairs, as soulmates," I said, "And when the gods became angry, they split the pairs in two, and people wandered the earth trying to find their missing halves. Sometimes the other half was the opposite sex, sometimes of the same sex. But all everyone really wants out of life is to find their other half." Scully looked at me then, and I knew from the look in her eyes she knew I was not just talking about her brother. We held the gaze for a moment, and then she looked away, and I knew it wasn't the time yet to bring that up. "So when do I get to meet this brother of yours?" I asked. "The sooner the better," she replied, as we rose in unison from the bench and started walking back to the office. ~*End*~ "Listen. We must all stop dying in the little ways, in the craters of hate, in the potholes of indifference---" Anne Sexton, "The Children" MORE COMMENTS: I've wanted to write something along these lines since I started writing fanfic, and only recently got an idea that I thought would work. This was a difficult story to write, for a number of reasons. I have a fondness for the Scully parents, Maggie in especial, and I didn't want to portray them as close-minded or homophobic; however, they are Catholic, and for my purposes, it does help to explain why Charlie has been MIA for, oh, seven seasons now. I didn't mind writing Bill, Jr., as an asshole, because I think he is one. I didn't want this to be a preachy story, and I hope it's not, but it does address some issues that are important to me. I have had several gay and lesbian friends over the years, starting with one of my college roommates. Many of my other friends were devout born-again Christians, so you can imagine how well those went together. I'm not going to get into a big debate about religion and homosexuality; suffice it to say that I got caught in the middle of some very offensive cross fire, and was asked a lot of ignorant questions about what it was like to have a lesbian roommate. Basically, what I'm trying to say in the story is this: let's have a little tolerance, okay? A mind is like a parachute: it only functions when it's open. Anna, John, and Ed, this one's for you guys. Nice, constructive feedback welcomed at jenbird@earthlink.net. Flames will be ignored.