Title:  Parallels III - One Sweet Day
Author:  Jenn Perry
E-mail:  loveyoulots@email.com
Rating:  PG-13
Spoilers:  Beyond the Sea, The Blessing Way/Paper Clip
Keywords:  ScullyAngst, MSR
Disclaimer:  The X-Files and any character you recognized from the show do 
not belong to me.  I am only borrowing them, but I will be making no money 
from this.  My payment is purely feedback.  The song "One Sweet Day" 
belongs to Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men.
Summary:  Scully deals with the aftermath of her mother's urgent phone 
call.

Author's Notes: This story has changed many times, but I think I finally 
found the right combination. This piece has been a labor of love for me.  
The actions of Mulder and Scully may not be true to character, but they 
are my tools for recovery.  I've taken to using fanfic as a way for me to 
work through my own traumas.  Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, 
but please no flames because this is my soul in words.  This is dedicated 
to anyone experienced these events.

*     *     *     *     *     *

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord, I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen when I pray

*     *     *     *     *     *

Wednesday
9:03 p.m.
Scully's Apartment

<<"Dana," Margaret Scully's voice filled the air, sounding as if she'd 
been crying.  "Please pick up if you're there.  I need to talk to 
you. . .">>

"What's wrong, Mom?"  Scully had gotten up at the sound of her mother's
voice.

"Oh, Dana, you're there.  You'd better sit down. . ."

"Mom, you're scaring me.  What happened?  Are you alright?"

"Dana, I have some bad news.  I don't know how to say this.  Charlie and 
Lauren were in an auto accident. They...they didn't make it.  They died."

"What?  Oh my God. . ."  Dana was in shock.

Mulder watched all the color drain out of Scully's face.  The tears began 
to flow down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away.  He could 
not hear Mrs. Scully's end of the conversation, but he knew something 
serious must have happened to make Scully cry.  While his mind ran through 
the myriad of possibilities, Scully slowly hung up the phone.  The tears 
had stopped, but she stood motionless in the middle of the room.

"Scully?"  Mulder quietly called out.

At the sound of her name, Scully turned toward him, staring at him as if 
she were surprised to see him sitting there.  She opened her mouth to 
speak, but the words wouldn't come.

"Oh Scully, what happened?"  Mulder stood up and took a tentative step in 
her direction.  He held out his hand and she grasped it tightly.  He 
gently pulled her toward him until they were sitting side by side on her 
sofa.

"Mom called to tell me she had just found out some bad news," Scully 
stated in a strangled, but detached voice.  "My brother and his financee 
were on their way home from the gym.  Some 13-year-old kid joy-riding in 
his parent's Jag ran a stop sign going 130 and hit them broadside.  They 
died on impact as well as the kid."

Mulder was dumbstruck.  This wasn't right.  Scully couldn't have lost 
another sibling.  Life was so kind to some and so cruel to others. 
Charlie and Lauren were supposed to be preparing for the happiest day of 
their life when it was suddenly taken from them without warning.  Scully 
remained silent and Mulder could tell she was trying to bury her emotions.
"What can I do?"

"You can't do anything!"  Scully spat out.  "My brother is dead.  No one 
can do anything.  I can't...I can't think right now.  I think you'd better
go.  I want to be alone."  She started to choke up, but once again she 
composed herself before any tears fell.  She got up from the couch and 
walked briskly back to the bedroom.

Mulder sat on her couch, stunned at her sudden anger, as he watched her 
quick retreat out of the room.  Not knowing what else to do, he got up and
left for his own apartment.

*     *     *     *     *      *

Darling, I never showed up
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
And I miss the love we shared

*     *     *     *     *      *

9:15 p.m.
Scully's bedroom

Scully heard the front door close shortly after she left the room.  She 
slowly surveyed her room, as if she had never seen it before.  Her eye 
caught the group of picture frames on her chest of drawers.  So many 
memories captured on film, frozen in time, their smiles haunting her as 
she picked them up individually.  First, the traditional family photo, 
taken before her father had died, before any of the kids had gotten 
married.  Melissa's smile dug into her soul, as she remembered that the 
bullet was meant for her.  The family picture in Scully's mind was 
becoming smaller and smaller, as she subtracted first her father, then 
her sister, and now her younger brother.  Of course, Bill Jr. had done 
his part to try to increase the family numbers, but Tara and Matthew 
could never replace those that had gone.

The next picture frame she clutched was a candid picture of her and 
Charlie wrestling in the sand on the last family vacation to the beach.  
Charlie had decided to sneak up on her while she slept under the beach 
umbrella.  She woke up when she made her splashdown in the waves.  She 
had gotten him back the next day by filling his bathing suit with sand.  
He had then attacked her in the sand.  They had laughed about it and 
called a truce.  Her mother had given her the photo, when she had 
complained that she didn't have any recent pictures of Charlie.  Scully 
figured that this was how she would always remember him: The annoying 
younger brother in their childhood, who grew up to be one of the sweetest,
but most childish guys she had ever known.

Suddenly, Scully couldn't stand to see the photos of her family looking so
happy.  With one great sweep of her arm, she shoved the frames off her 
dresser.  They fell to the floor with a resounding crash.  In an instant, 
the happy family was marred by broken glass, much like real life.  While 
trying to pick up the pieces, a sliver of glass sliced her finger.  
Staring at the blood dripping down her finger, she began to sob, leaning 
against the dresser for support.

When she couldn't cry anymore, she stood and surveyed the mess.  
Exhaustion swept over Scully.  Digging through the back of her closet, 
she found the stuffed frog Charlie had won for her at the street fair on 
that same beach trip.  Not bothering to change clothes, she crawled into 
her unmade bed with the frog and drifted into a fitful sleep.

*     *     *     *     *     *

Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away, so far away

*     *     *     *     *     *

4:20 a.m.

Scully woke up suddenly.  She couldn't remember what she had been 
dreaming, but whatever it had been, she was visibly still shaking.  She 
reminded herself that nightmares could be attributed to the stress she 
was under and were a part of the grieving process.

The grieving process.  She could write a book on the subject.  How many 
times had she been right here, grieving for the loss of another family 
member?  If she were a superstitious person, she might have said that the 
Scully family must have a curse on them.  What a Mulderesque response to 
the current situation! He must be rubbing off on me more than I thought, 
she said to herself.

Now that she was wide-awake, Scully knew she wouldn't be going back to 
sleep anytime soon.  Looking down at her rumpled clothes, she decided to 
take a drive, anything to get out of her place.  She picked up the frog 
that lay in her lap and wrinkled her nose.  It really was an ugly frog.  
She kissed it on the nose and paused briefly on the off chance it might 
turn into a prince.  When it remained a stuffed frog, Scully sighed and 
tossed it on the bed.  Grabbing her wallet and keys from the front table, 
she walked to the door.  As she opened it, she realized her car was still 
at Mulder's apartment.  Dropping her things to the floor, she slammed the 
door, not caring about the echo that resounded in the early morning 
stillness. 

"Damn it!" she screamed at no one in particular.

Picking up the phone, she started to dial her mother's number, but 
decided not to wake her.  She knew she needed to be strong and support 
the family, not worrying it.  Instead she dialed Mulder's number.  
Holding the cordless phone, she walked to the couch and curled up on one 
side, as waited for him answer on the other end.

"Hello?  Scully?"  Mulder picked up the phone next to his bed.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Lucky guess.  What's up?"

"Well, I had a nightmare that woke me up and I was going to take a drive, 
but I realized my car was still at your place, so then I decided to call 
you, but I really don't know why because it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm 
sure you were asleep. . ."  Scully babbled on and on in Mulder's ear.

"Scully!"  

"What?"

"You're babbling.  Look, just sit tight.  I'm going to come and keep you 
company until you get sleepy again.  Give me twenty minutes."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, dammit, I knew it was a bad idea to call 
you, I didn't mean to wake you, it's really no big deal, never mind."

"Scully, it's ok.  I want to be with you.  Just give me twenty minutes."  
Mulder reiterated and hung up the phone.

True to his word, Mulder arrived twenty minutes later.  He had been 
asleep as Scully had said, but her voice had told him that he needed to 
go to her.  He was angry with himself for leaving her alone earlier that 
evening when she was so distraught.  He knew better--the last two days, 
not to mention the last six years, had taught him that.  He was glad that 
she had learned, too.  She had taken the first step and called him.  She 
was admitting that she needed him.

Using his key, he entered her apartment.  He found her sitting on the end 
of her couch, holding the cordless phone in her hand, staring into space.
Though the room was dark, he could tell that she was still wearing the 
same clothes that she had been wearing earlier that evening.

"You know, I never thought this could happen," Scully spoke, acknowledging
Mulder's presence, but not looking at him.  Her voice was surprisingly 
even, although it was pitched lower as if she had been crying for a long 
time.  "The little brother shouldn't die before the big sister.  That's 
not the way it should work.  I mean, he was getting married--his life was
just starting, not ending.  It's just not fair. . ."  Her voice broke on 
the word "fair", halting her somber tirade.

Mulder moved to sit next to her.  He removed the phone from her hands and 
returned it to its cradle.  He took one of her hands in both of his, 
rubbing the back of it with his thumb.  "You're right, it's not fair.  
I'm sorry I never go to meet Charlie.  I'm sure he was a great guy."

Scully looked up at him, with tears in her eyes.  "He was, he really 
was."  Hearing herself speak of Charlie in the past tense drove the 
reality home.  He little brother was gone.  "No!  NO! This is not 
happening.  This is all a bad dream--the worst kind of nightmare.  I want 
to wake up now--I can't take this anymore.  I want my brother back!"

"I know you do, honey, I know you do.  Come here."  Mulder opened his 
arms, and a tentative, crying Scully filled them.  As she sobbed, he felt 
his heart breaking.  If only he could take her pain away, he would do so 
in a heartbeat.  He hated being so helpless, while he watched her so full 
of anguish and sorrow.

He continued to hold her after the sobbing subsided.  Her breathing 
became very even and he thought she might have drifted off to sleep, 
until she spoke softly.

"I can't believe what a horrible sister I am.  I've been morose and whiny 
the whole time they were planning the wedding.  I was so cold to him when 
he phoned on Monday to tell me they were coming for the weekend.  I 
begged out of so many family outings and events these past few months.  
God, what I wouldn't give to be able to talk to him one more time, just 
to tell him that I love him.  I am such a bitch!"

"Scully, listen to me.  You had no way of knowing this was going to 
happen.  I'm sure he understood and he knew you loved him.  He was your 
brother and I know he loved you no matter how you acted or what you said 
because that's how family is."

Scully looked up at him, her eyes wide and rimmed with mascara.  "You 
think so?"

"Of course."

She gave him a tiny, watery smile and laid her head back on his shoulder.
They slept like that until morning.

*     *     *     *     *     *

Never had I imagined living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive

*     *     *     *     *     *

Thursday
10:31 a.m.

Scully awoke slowly, slightly disoriented.  She was lying on her couch 
with a quilt wrapped around her.  She tried to remember how she came to 
be in this position.  She, unlike Mulder, was not in the habit of 
sleeping on her couch.  Suddenly, reality came flooding back to her.  
Charlie was gone--her precious little brother was dead.  Sleep had not 
taken away her pain; it had only given her a slight respite.  Mulder must 
have left after I went to sleep, she thought.  I guess I can't blame him.
Sitting up, Scully debated what to do next.  She didn't feel like getting
dressed, but she knew she needed to go to her family.

Mulder returned from the kitchen, watching Scully stretch and sit up on 
the couch.  She remained motionless for a few moments before rising, 
presumably to shower and prepare for the day.  Her shoulders were slumped 
and her slightly downcast.  He knew the events of the day before were now 
beginning to sink in and she was experiencing a new level of grief.  He 
gave her a few moments of privacy before announcing his presence.

"I made some coffee."

Scully turned to him.  "Mulder!  What are you doing here?  I thought you 
left."

"I woke up about an hour ago.  You were sleeping so soundly, I decided 
not to wake you.  I know you haven't slept well the past few nights.  I 
would never abandon you, unless you asked me to.  Even then I would never 
be far away."

"Thank you.  I really needed the sleep.  Coffee sounds great."

Mulder retreated into the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee.  
Returning to the living room with both steaming mugs, he sat on the sofa 
and handed her one.  "How are you doing this morning?"

Scully thought a moment before speaking.  Her knee-jerk reaction was to 
say she was fine, but that wasn't the truth.  Mulder deserved to hear the 
truth.  "Not so good.  It doesn't seem real.  I can't believe he's really 
gone.  My head knows he is, but my heart doesn't want to accept it."

Mulder was surprised at her confession, but at the same time he knew that 
the events of the past few days had broken down the walls between them.  
She had decided to be honest with him and to trust him not only with her 
life, but her heart as well.

"Thanks for the coffee, Mulder.  Well, I've been stalling long enough.  
No matter how long I wait, it's not going to get any easier.  There's so 
much I've got to get done.  Plane reservations, car rental, hotel, etc."

She began pacing the living room, making a mental checklist of the many 
chores that needed to be accomplished before leaving on her somber 
journey.  Mulder watched her pace for a moment before getting off the 
couch and standing in front of her, blocking her path so she could not 
pace any longer.

"Mulder, move.  I need to get this stuff done."

"Scully, stop for a second.  Your mom called this morning--"

"Why didn't you tell me?!  I've got to call her--"

"Scully, listen.  She told me not to wake you.  The family is meeting 
tomorrow in LA to discuss arrangements with Lauren's family.  I booked 
you on an 8:30 a.m. flight out of Dulles, which will get you into LAX 
around 11:23 a.m. local time.  You have a rental car reservation at 
Budget and you're staying with your mom at the Radisson.  Your mom was 
leaving this morning, but she said she'd called when she arrived.  All 
you have to do now is pack."

Scully stared up at Mulder in awe.  She couldn't believe he had done all 
this for her. "Mulder...I don't know what to say.  You're amazing.  Thank 
you.  This means so much to me.  I guess I should go get ready and start 
packing.  You'll hang around to help me out?"

"Of course."

*     *     *     *     *     *

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
Together, one sweet day

*     *     *     *     *     *

11:19 a.m.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"  Mulder got up from the couch where he'd been relaxing and moved 
in the direction of Scully's voice.

"I need your help."  She paused, waiting for him to enter her bedroom.  
"I made a little mess last night and I need some help cleaning it up."

Mulder strode across the room to where Scully had gestured.  When he got 
there, he was shocked at the sight.  All of Scully's neatly framed family 
photos lay scattered across the floor, glass shards everywhere.  "Scully, 
what happened?"

"It's stupid.  After you left, I came in here and looked at my photos of 
Charlie.  I thought it would make me feel a little better, but instead I 
felt horrible.  I lashed out at the pictures by shoving them off my 
bureau.  I don't know why I thought ruining my pictures would make the 
problem go away.  It was really dumb and now I've got to clean it all up.
I tried to do it last night, but I cut myself on the glass."

Mulder stood silent for a moment, absorbing the information.  He was 
worried because he had never known Scully to become violent when upset, 
but it had happened twice this week.  Right now, though, he needed to 
support her.  Kneeling carefully, so as not to cut himself, he began to 
clean up the mess.  Several minutes later, he came across a picture of 
Scully with both her brothers in front of a river.  He looked at it 
thoughtfully.  "I've never seen this one before.  When was this taken?"

Scully looked up from what she was doing to see at what he was looking.  
She was glad to hear him speak.  He hadn't said a word since she had 
revealed the nature of the mess in her bedroom.  Hesitantly, she took the 
picture from his hands.  The memories from that trip came racing back.  
"Oh that was over New Year's, but I had only just recently gotten it 
framed.  I guess I'll have to do that again."  She laughed, ruefully.  
"It must have been an act of God or something, but Bill and Charlie both
had shore leave that weekend, so the family decided to meet halfway in 
Chicago.  That picture was taken on Navy Pier, which as it turns out, has 
nothing to do with the Navy.  Charlie was so disappointed.  It was weird 
going on vacation with Mom and the boys--it felt like I was a kid again.  
The only thing missing was Missy--that was hard.  No one mentioned it, 
but I know everyone was thinking about it.  Especially when we took that 
picture because every time we took a trip when we were kids, Mom insisted 
we take a group shot of us kids.  She promised that when we got older, we
would treasure them--and she was right.  And now, Charlie's gone too."  
Scully sighed.  "I just wish I would have known that was the last time I 
was going to see him..."

Mulder listened intently to her story, relishing the tiny bits of family 
history that came with it, but feeling the regret and pain in her voice.  
He loved to hear about her family and her past, but he wished it didn't 
have to be like this.  "Come here."

Scully leaned into him and felt his arms wrap around her.  He was saying 
soothing things to try to ease her mind, but didn't hear them.  She was a 
million miles away, silently reliving her favorite moments with her 
brother, knowing that there would be no more.  No matter how many times 
she tried, Scully could not file away her grief as she had in the past.  
It scared her--she was used to being in control of her emotions.  This 
trip was sure to be a test of her character and she wasn't sure she was 
prepared.

"Mulder."

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being the one that I can be myself with.    For being the one that I 
can call at four in the morning because I don't want to be alone.  Thank 
you for letting me work through this without pressure or embarrassment.  
For taking care of me even when I think I can go it alone.  But most of 
all, thank you for loving me."

"Scully, I--"

"I know you never really said it, but I know you do.  I love you too.  
I've let myself get in the way too many times, but I realize now that 
life is fleeting.  You never know how long you have and I just want you 
to know how much you mean to me.  If I had my choice, I'd stay like this 
in your arms and never face the reality, but that's not practical.  I 
have to go to LA."

Scully looked up at him with misty eyes.  Mulder kissed her chastely on 
the lips and held her close.  "You mean the world to me too.  I don't 
think I can express to what I feel, but when I look in your eyes, I know 
you know.  That's all that matters.  I'm always here if you need me.  
Take as long as you need with your family in LA.  I'll take care of 
everything here.  And when you get back, I'll be right here, waiting for 
you."

Scully let a solitary tear run down her cheek as she snuggled into 
Mulder's embrace.  The pair were bathed in sunlight as they held each 
other, not sure what the future might bring.

*     *     *     *     *     *

The End.

Was it enough?  Did you like it?  I had contemplated continuing this 
series through the episodes, starting with Milagro, but I think it 
finished up well here.  For the timeline of my world, "Milagro" takes 
place after Scully returns from her trip to Los Angeles, but she has not 
quite come to terms with her brother's death.  The crying scene at the 
end is her cleansing of those feelings and her acceptance that Charlie is
no longer among the living.

Ok, I need feedback, so let me have it:  loveyoulots@email.com