Chapter 4: Lost Hope

 

 

When Seiji woke up he could see the sun low in the west sky through the curtains in the window of his room. He propped himself up on his elbows and the ceiling started spinning above him. He looked to the side of the bed and saw Kenichi sitting in the chair reading a book.

 

“How long have I been out?” Seiji whispered his voice nowhere to be found.

 

“Overnight and most of today. You had a nasty bump on the head. Seems you landed on a rock,” Kenichi laughed, “Nasuti freaked out when she saw all the blood.” Seiji fixed him with an icy stare. “Right, sorry, I’ll just go tell her you’re awake.” A little embarrassed he stood and left. Seiji felt his head and found a bandage wrapped around it and a fairly large bump. He sighed and sat up his head was pounding and the room spun a bit. After it calmed down he threw the covers off and swung his legs over the side. He stood up the pounding in his head increased and the room spun again. He closed his eyes to try and keep himself steady and reached out for something to hold on to so he wouldn’t fall.

 

“I think you should lay down for a bit longer.” Seiji felt a pair of hands grab his arms and opened his eyes to find Touma standing in front of him.

 

“I’m fine. I don’t like lying in bed all day.”

 

“We need to talk.” Seiji looked into Touma’s eyes and sat back down on the bed. Touma sat on his own bed facing Seiji. “Looks like Ryo was lying. He collapsed not long after you. Luckily Byakuen was with him. It seems he’s been seeing Rekka since his first night back here.”

 

“Even after Shin blew up at him? What was he thinking?” Seiji shook his head and then regretted it.

 

“There’s more.” Seiji looked up at Touma.

 

“Shu’s missing, isn’t he?”

 

“He was. Disappeared not long after Byakuen returned with Ryo, but Shin brought him back this morning.” Touma sighed and looked over at the two crystals that lay on the nightstand.

 

“I take it he finally saw Kongo.”

 

“Actually he hasn’t, and it’s really starting to bug him.”

 

“We better keep our eyes on him. He might try something stupid,” Seiji stated looking down at his hands trying to focus on them without the room spinning around him.

 

“Do you think, that he might have the strength to control the power?” Seiji looked up at Touma his crystal blue eyes boring into Touma’s own blue ones,

 

“No human has that kind of strength.”

 

Shin stood on the dock looking out over the lake. Water. That was the element the armor of Suiko gave him control over. It was something he had never been afraid of. He had swam in the seas of Hagi even before he could walk. Now, it was something else. Something he couldn’t trust, or predict like he used to be able to do.

 

“Just a few weeks ago I thought I knew where my life was going to go. Sayoko had given me permission to transfer to Tokyo. She said she could handle the family business with Yuusuke’s help. Thoughts of the yoroi had grown faint, though I’m sure they would have come back once I had step foot in Tokyo again. But that didn’t matter; I no longer had the yoroi. Even if some evil attacks there was nothing I could do. Then I saw Suiko. I have never been so frightened in my life. My time fighting is over, I did my job; it's someone else’s turn.

 

“But that hasn’t stopped anything. This figure, the yellow eyes, the laugh, whoever he is. He’s not our friend. The last time I was here, I threw Suiko away, not wanting to wield it ever again. Now I wish nothing more than to have Suiko in my hand again.” Shin reached into his pocket and pulled out the light blue sphere that now contained part of Suiko’s power, “But the armor is no more. We destroyed all the yoroi in Africa.

 

“Dammit! Why, just as I come to terms with being a bearer of the yoroi we lose them, then right when I’ve decided to go on with my life, the yoroi have once again made their way into our lives? Why can’t I live a normal life? Why can’t I be going to classes at Tokyo University right now, dating girls, and thinking about the next test and if I would be able to graduate on time. Why is it that those things are so far from my reach? Kaosu, why did you have to give me the yoroi? Why not someone else?” Shin clenched his eyes closed. He had gone to the dock every day since he had returned to the house in Kanagawa. At first he went there as an escape, but it was far from that. He could not stop thinking of the past and the present; he could not stop wondering if there would ever be a future to look forward to. Shu was the only one yet to see their yoroi, but it was sure to happen at any time. And then what would happen? Nothing? Or would that demon come and kill them all?

 

Day after day, Shin went to the lake and looked into the depths of the water. He had tried meditating like Seiji, he had tried researching like Touma, but could find no answers either way. He could think of nothing else that would help solve any of their problems. He needed to know just how powerful the yoroi were, and there was only one way he knew of doing it. Slowly He allowed his weight to carry him off the dock and into the water. The cool wetness enveloped him, enveloped his soul. The currents carried him to the bottom, and he refused to struggle. In front of him Suiko stood, offering its help. Shin reached out to take its hand to welcome the yoroi back. He grabbed the armored hand, as its other hand grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, then its two hands clasped themselves around Shin’s throat. Slowly the armor morphed into the demon. His bright yellow eyes shined even in the depths of the murky lake. Slowly his hands tightened around Shin’s throat, he tried to yell, he called for Suiko to help him, but there was nothing. Then darkness crept over him as the demon laughed.

                                                                                                           

“Do you hate me Shin?” A middle aged man asked as he slipped his arms into his brown suit jacket. His black hair neatly combed, his brown eyes clouded with age and stress, “I promised to take you swimming.” 

 

“You have to go to work. I know,” A small boy chirped, a wide bright smile across his face. The man leaned over and ruffled the reddish brown hair, and looked into his bright blue green eyes. 

 

“The second I return, we’ll go swimming, okay?”

 

“I won’t let you forget!” The young Shin smiled as he watched his father leave.

 

 

“Father! Don’t go!! NO!! FATHER!!”

 

“Shin,” A young woman with the same red brown hair as her son, kneeled down her thin kind face streaked with tears, “Shin, I’ve got to tell you something.”

 

“Ka-chan, why are you crying?” Shin asked his blue green eyes mirrored in her own. 

 

“It’s your father Shin. He…He won’t be coming home,” she forced the words out, failing to hold back her sobs.

 

“That’s okay, he said we could go swimming when he was done with work. I know what he does is important. He’s a powerful person right? You said so, right?” Shin smiled, which seemed to only make his mother cry more. Shin watched confused as she held him and cried.

 

“Why am I remembering this now? Am I dead? Did I not have the power to protect even myself? Of course not, I never had such power. He did. Dad was powerful! He didn’t deserve to die, not then…”

 

“He was only a man. He had no power,” Shin’s mother’s voice echoed as that last memory faded away. 

 

“No, he did. Power and strength aren’t the same things. The only thing I gained was strength. Suiko only gave me strength not power.”

 

“You are mere insects. You have no power, and you are of no concern to us,” Sh’ten stated standing upon the roof of a tall building within Shinjuku. The Troopers stood on the street, the result of Rekka’s power in front of them.

 

“You are wrong!” Ryo yelled brandishing a fist, “We have the power to defeat you and your master!”

 

“Ryo, we never had that kind of power. We sought it out, but we never had it to begin with. That was the only reason we used the kikkotei. We sought out its power, and it allowed us to use it, but in the end it was using us. We never had the power to wield the yoroi. We barely had the strength to call upon it. We could only hang on for the ride. Even with the power of the virtues of humans, we are unable to control the yoroi.”

 

“Shin! Shin! Can you hear me?” A voice echoed in Shin’s mind. Slowly a blurry light filled his vision and blurry shapes hovered over him. He could feel his body being bumped around. He was in Nasuti’s jeep; Shu and Ryo were leaning over him. “Shin, hold on!” Ryo exclaimed as blackness seeped back around him.

 

The waiting room was lit with only two small lamps, on two equally small tables. Ryo glanced down at his silver watch and watched as the second hand ticked toward the red twelve, seven o’clock at night. It had been six hours since they had arrived and none of them were going to head home until they received good news about Shin.

 

Shu had claimed one of the couches, stretched out on his stomach, his right arm was his pillow and his left dangled to the floor. Touma had won the fight over the other couch and was stretched out fully. Seiji was sitting at one table, arms crossed, eyes closed, one couldn’t tell if he was awake or asleep. Ryo had sat at the other table the whole time looking from his watch to the door, hoping Nasuti or Sayoko would enter with good news. Several soda cans and food wrappers littered the table in front of Ryo as he watched the second hand on his silver watch tick towards the red twelve; seven oh one.

 

Nasuti rounded the corner into the waiting room carrying Shin’s nephew. She surveyed the room once before locking eyes with Ryo.

 

“They’ll only let Michio in for feeding,” Nasuti stated softly as she readjusted her hold on the brown haired boy so that majority of his weight would be on her lap as she sat down across from Ryo at the table.

 

“How’s Shin doing?” Ryo asked barely audible, as if the words alone would bring ill will.

 

“His breathing is still shallow,” Nasuti replied softly as she gently rocked Michio, “The doctor says it’s because of all the water that had gotten into his lungs, but somehow I think there’s more to it.” Nasuti readjusted herself in the seat to get more comfortable. “He started to mumble a couple of hours ago. Mainly he kept asking why, and something about being powerless. Sometimes it sounded like he was fighting with someone. I had to keep reminding myself that no one else was there.” Nasuti once again scanned the room; three pair of eyes were now on her.

 

“Shin never wanted to fight… but to go this far?” Shu questioned.

 

“Shin had finally accepted the yoroi, as long as he had to fight he would, but now there is nothing we can do. It has only led him back to his previous doubts,” Seiji replied moving his head just slightly to glance over at Shu.

 

“Typical,” Touma grunted.

 

“Touma!” Nasuti exclaimed in a soft whisper.

 

“Quit scolding me like I’m a child,” Touma stated standing up, “The whole time in Africa it was Shin this and Shin that, it was Shin who had finally accepted the fate of the yoroi. Poor fragile Shin, meek and weak he needs everyone to worry about him.” Everyone was sitting and listening to Touma. He waited for a reply, someone to defend Shin, but no one knew what to do. Touma quickly left the stunned room in silence.

 

“Damit!” Shu stood to follow Touma, but Ryo stopped him.

 

“Let him be for now.”

 

“But Ryo.”

 

“Let him be Shu,” Nasuti sighed,” You have to remember, Touma still isn’t used to dealing with other people; not like we are.”

 

“I know that, but…” Shu growled not really knowing what to say and feeling even more helpless about it.

 

“I thought it had worked, Suiko was standing there before me, offering its hand, but then it changed. It wasn’t Suiko it was that demon. I didn’t want to die by his hand, I called for Suiko, I wanted it’s help, it’s power, but it didn’t come. Now, there is nothingness. Ryo and Shu were calling me. I saw them; they had saved me, or tried to. Is it still possible to live? Do I want to? Do I want to go back to that world where there is nothing but battles, pain, and hatred in my soul? I could see my father again, and my mother. I could live eternity with them. We could finally be a happy family.”

 

“Hey, Shin, I have an idea. When this is all over, when we’re done fighting, let’s open a restaurant together. You can do the cooking and I’ll take care of the business end!”

 

“Shu, my friends. If I die, I’ll be letting them down. They need Suiko to fight. But we can’t use the power that was left in us. We aren’t strong enough to use it. I thought I had finally understood Suiko in Africa. Suiko, all the yoroi, they’re nothing but tools. They only have one will and that is to fight. It is the wielders job to control the yoroi. But we failed even that task. Why? We gained full control over the virtues, the virtues that bind the yoroi to our commands. ‘Shin’ I understand it. I do, don’t I?

 

“I was able to ease their suffering in Africa when their armors were taken away. I was able to help them see that the virtues were separate from the yoroi. No, Byakuen showed me that, or should I say Kokuen. Kokuen’s spirit showed me that the virtues were not part of the yoroi, but a power that controlled the yoroi. The true power we had to control was not the yoroi, it was not the kikkotei, it was our virtues. I understand the idea of ‘Shin.’ Just like Seiji understands ‘Rei’. No, Seiji doesn’t understand ‘Rei.’ How could he? It’s such an old idea. In this day, in this modern era how can he truly understand it? The same for all of them, how can they truly understand them?”

 

Shu left the waiting room and walked down the stairs toward the cafeteria. His mind town between Touma and Shin. They never did get along, but why all of the sudden did Touma blow up like that? It just wasn’t like him. Shu walked through the doors of the cafeteria, the smells of a mass produced dinner wafted past his nostrils. He scanned the room, the hot line at one end, older lady in a white smock stood waiting to scoop a spoon full of rice from the pan before her. A row of fountain machines lined perpendicular to it. The rest of the room was filled with tables and chairs. The room seemed to be void of life. In the far corner Shu saw something move. On the last table, in the back of the room, Shu saw a tray with several empty dishes, and many more empty wrappers laying on it. Two blue eyes looked up and met Shu’s; An emotion he couldn’t place was communicated to him. They then turned away. Shu lost his appetite and turned and left without looking at Touma again. He needed a place to think anywhere he could be alone.

 

“Shu!” He had just reached the stairwell when he heard Touma calling his name. He hesitated for a moment, should he keep going, or should he stop. He didn’t get to make the choice, that moment of hesitation was enough for Touma to catch up to him.

 

“Look, about what I said before.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s your opinion isn’t it?” Shu turned to head up the stairs.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Somewhere to think. I just need to be alone for a bit,” Shu replied quietly and continued up the stairs. Touma watched his back, trying to read his thoughts. This voice wasn’t the Shu he knew; it was uncertain and almost scared. 

 

“Just don’t do anything stupid. Like Shin did.” Touma called up through the stairwell.

 

“Don’t call him stupid!” Shu snapped

 

“You’re right. I’m… sorry.” Shu knew he was just saying it just to satisfy him. He turned and walked down the few steps separating them.

 

“Let me ask you something, Touma. What is ‘Chi’? And don’t you say, ‘wisdom’. That’s not what I mean. Do you understand the very core of it? It’s very basis?” Shu asked looking Touma in the eyes, watching as he searched his brain for the answer, “I didn’t think so.” Shu turned and walked up the stairs leaving Touma dumbstruck.