December 26th 2am JST
(December 25th 11am CST)
I had fallen asleep fairly fast that night, but woke up only a couple of hours later. Rolling over I reached out to wrap my arm around Celeste, but instead there was nothing but cold air. I opened an eye and looked at the empty side of the bed, and then noticed a dull light coming from somewhere. Celeste had pulled open the curtains a bit and stood before the balcony doors looking outside.
“Celeste, come back to bed. It’s cold tonight.” I had hoped she would do as I said, but she didn’t move. Reluctantly I threw off the covers, stuffed my feet into a cold pair of slippers, and threw on a sweater. I walked up to her and put my arms around her, pulling her closer to me, and feeling how cold her skin was.
“You’re frozen. Come back to bed.” I tried to gently pull her to bed, but she wouldn’t move. I sighed, “What are you thinking about?”
“Kazuo,” She whispered and laid her head back on my shoulder.
“You shouldn’t let it bother you,” I whispered back.
“But it does.”
“He’s just under stress from the entrance exams. Once they are over things will return to normal.”
“What is normal, Shino? Him constantly criticizing everything I do or say to my face rather than to you?” I could feel her body start to tremble in my arms. Whether she was cold or trying not to cry, I couldn’t tell. “What did I do wrong? Why is it ending up the same as before?”
“It will not end up like that,” I tried to reassure her, but she shook her head.
“It’s the exact same thing. Kazuo’s going to move out and never talk to me again. Then he’ll tell his wife how horribly he was raised and that I was a drunken mess all the time!”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself now. There’s still time to change things.”
“No. It’s too late. For both of them.”
“It’s not over until the fat lady sings, as you say.”
“Get me some music.”
“Celeste!” I shouted and squeezed her, “You are not fat!” It had been a long time since she had called herself fat. That was a difficult point in her life and I think she could feel it too. It was time to repeat it or change it. I couldn’t help her last time, but this time was different. This time I had the ability to help. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, “He’s coming to Japan.”
“What? Who?”
“Him. He’s coming to play baseball with the Eagles.” She pushed me away and backed up against the cold glass of the doors.
“How do you know this?” She looked terrified, and she was shaking even more than before. This time I was sure she was fighting back tears.
“His wife e-mailed me. I got it this evening.”
“This evening? Emily?”
“She told me…”
“No, I don’t want to know!” Celeste covered her ears and slid down the door. I kneeled down in front of her and pulled her hands from her ears.
“He’s been too scared to talk to you.” It wasn’t the complete truth. It was more what Emily had assumed, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Why did she e-mail you?”
“Well, I think she’s a little scared about moving here.”
“She’s coming too?”
“Yep, him, Emily, and their daughter.” For a moment I thought she was going to actually get excited about it, but unfortunately I was wrong. In an instant her eyes went wide and she looked up at me.
“You didn’t tell them that we would meet them, did you?!”
“I just told her I would talk to you about it,” I stroked her hair. For some reason I felt like I was reassuring my daughter rather than my wife. “Don’t you want to see him?”
“No, it’s too soon!”
“It’s been twenty years! It is time. You can’t keep running away.” I pulled her toward me and kissed her head, “I’ll tell her that we will meet, if he agrees to as well. Then we’ll see what happens.” We sat there for a while in the cold room before I pulled her to her feet and led her to the bed. I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight. Then I got in beside her and wrapped my arms around her waist hoping that I had done the right thing.
December 25th
11am CST
(December 26th 2am JST)
We had all chipped in and cleaned up the living room in record time. Then we dressed and everyone piled into the truck, puddles included, for a trip to the Evans family farm. The snow that had fallen the night before had covered everything. The only way you could tell the road from the field next to it were the power lines that ran along side of the road. We hadn’t been on the road long before Mercedes had fallen asleep. Kaden was concentrating on the road, occasionally glancing out of the side window to see how far away he was from the telephone poles, trying to keep in the center of the road. Since it was a two-hour drive I had brought a book to read, but found it hard to get my mind into it, so instead I gazed lazily out of the window.
I still didn’t know whether or not to tell him. It was quiet and it was going to take a while to get to my parents house. He had nowhere to run. This might have been my only chance.
“Kaden, I…e-mailed someone last night.” I said it in a loud whisper and at first I wasn’t sure if he had heard me or not. “I e-mailed a man named Shino Sakamoto.”
“Found yourself a pen pal have you? Maybe we could meet him when we go over there,” Kaden laughed, “As long as you aren’t thinking of cheating on me!”
“That’s not funny!” I fumed. I should have stopped there, but for some reason I went on, “Shino is your uncle!” I could see the connection hit him. There was a slight jolt as Kaden slammed on the breaks. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, the road was covered with snow and ice. I put my hands on the dashboard, though thinking now, it was probably the worst place I could have put them. I could see the back of the truck swing in and out of the rearview mirror on the side of the truck, and I noticed how suddenly a line of trees had appeared on my side of the road. I closed my eyes and waited for something to happen, but it was quiet. I opened an eye and looked around me. The truck had stopped and it hadn’t run into a tree, pole, or off the road.
Suddenly I remembered Mercedes. I spun around and looked into the back seat. Puddles was laying in the seat looking at me with a cocked head. Mercedes was still sound asleep. I sighed and turned to Kaden. “What the hell were you thinking?” I hissed.
“What did you say?” His hands were gripped so tightly around the steering wheel his knuckles were white and his eyes were looking straight ahead.
“We’re going to a foreign land. I thought it would be nice to have contact with someone. Then we would have someone to help us adjust.” I tried to justify my action, though I really didn’t need to. It was my defense mechanism, but truthfully I don’t think he heard a word I said.
“You had no right to contact her family!” He turned his head toward me. We’ve had fights before. This will be the third time we’ve had to move cause of his career. However, I have never seen his eyes so fierce before. I sat in silence for a moment, entrapped by those blue eyes, but I couldn’t let my guard down. I had gone that far already. I tore my eyes from his and looked back at Mercedes.
“SHHH! You’ll wake Mercedes up!” Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to do it here. “You haven’t talked to her for, what, twenty years? Isn’t it about time you did so? I mean, I know she promised to return after two years, but didn’t. In addition, I understand that as a child you felt betrayed, but you’re an adult now. Isn’t it time to right the wrong?” Kaden dropped forward, his head landing on the horn breaking the stillness of the moment.
“Mommy, are we there?” Mercedes asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.
“No, dear, just an animal on the road, go back to sleep.” I reached back and patted her leg. I waited until she had drifted back to sleep before I turned back to Kaden. “Are you still going to treat the situation like a child?”
“Not that it’s really any of your business, but that’s not the reason I stopped talking to her.” Kaden picked up his head and looked out his window. I could see his reflection and noticed that his eyes had lost their fierceness.
“But you did stop talking to her after she told you she was pregnant and moving to Japan for good, right?” I was completely confused now. I thought Kaden had told me all about his childhood. We used to sit for hours when we were first married and talk about our families and friends. I didn’t think there was anything that I didn’t know about. When he was in Elementary school it was all about his grandmother and aunt, his mother wasn’t really around much. Then his aunt disappeared from the picture when she moved to Japan. What could have happened?
“Yes, I had stopped talking to her then, but for only a month at most. I was old enough to realize that she had to have her own life. She wasn’t my real mother, and I still had my grandmother.”
“Then why?”
Kaden sighed and continued to look out the window in silence. “Apparently there
is something I don’t know. If you really don’t want to see her, I guess there’s
nothing I can do but accept that,” I sighed. I thought I had been doing
something good. Even his grandmother thought it was a good idea. I guess
neither of us really knew what he was thinking. He remained silent for a bit
longer, and then slowly pressed the gas. We were on our way again, in silence.
I’d have to let him think about it. I
figured that had pushed the topic far enough. A lot had gotten accomplished and
I knew that if I pushed it too much, I would never find out.