Trumpet Citations & Infractions

NAME OF OFFENDER_____________

INFRACTION DATE _____________

MUSICAL OFFENSES:

• [] Playing highest note possible in warm- up-$100
• [] Sound-checking mic with obnoxious jazz licks-$15
• [] Raising hand after mistake-$15
• [] Practicing multiple tounging not called for on gig-$15
• [] Blacking out after high note-$20
• [] Obnoxioiusly show-offy warm-up-$25
• [] Taking tuning note up an octave-$25
• [] Vibrato on unison passage-$50
• [] Failure to use 3rd valve slide-$50
• [] Playing B-flat when band tunes to A-$75
• [] Being told by conductor to play louder-$400
• [] Failure to swing-$1000

LEAD PLAYERS:

• [] Changing mouthpieces mid-song-$15
• [] Faking section into early entrance-$10
• [] Faking self into early entrances-$50
• [] Missing high lick, then mentioning previous gig(s)-$25
• [] Asking conductor if it's ok to take a lick up-$25
• [] Asking conductor if it's ok to take a lick down-$400
• [] Taking a lick down that you took up in rehearsal-$100
• [] Missing last note of "In the Mood"-$200

• [] Missing entrance when lead drops out-$15
• [] Pointing out to the lead that guy on the record took that last lick up-$20
• [] Attempting unassigned lick biffed by lead-$50
• [] Asking lead what mouthpiece he uses-$75
• [] Hanging over past lead on last chord-$100
• [] Attempting to out-screech lead on last chord-$100
• [] Successfully out-screeching lead at any time-$500

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS:

• [] Playing with screw on rim-$10
• [] Polishing horn on stage-$15
• [] Dropping mute-$10
• [] Dropping horn-Repairs + $20
• [] Dropping Dead-Warning
• [] Forgetting pencil-$20
• [] Forgetting Mute(s)-Each $50
• [] Forgetting Bow-Tie or socks-$30
• [] Forgetting Mouthpiece- $30
• [] Forgetting Mags-$100
• [] Blaming mistake on sticky valves-$25
• [] Getting marble or similar object stuck down bell-$750

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE:

• [] Having nicest gig-bag in section-$10
• [] Talking about the great deal you got on a new horn-$10
• [] Hawking old horn on Bandstand-$10
• [] Quoting Herb Alpert or Mangione Song-$250
• [] Farting on bandstand-$25
• [] Defecating on bandstand-$75
• [] Practicing legit style on swing gig- $35
• [] Discussing how plentiful gigs were in the old days-$50
• [] Beginning a sentance with "when I played for Kenton"-$50
• [] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you also play Keyboards-$100

BASIC STUPIDITY

• [] Wearing old MF tour shirt-$15
• [] Wearing new MF tour shirt-$25
• [] Playing on a Jet-tone mouthpiece-$20
• [] Continually asking "where are we?"-$25
• [] Drunkeness on stage-$25
• [] Stonedness on stage-$50
• [] Sobriety on stage-$75
• [] Pretending to be friends with a bone player-$50
• [] Actually being friends with a bone player-$200
• [] Dating a bone player- $7500
• [] Loaning money to bone player-4x amount loaned
• [] Sitting next to conductor at meals-$100