October 14, 2007

 

Cawson Street Church of Christ

Hopewell, Virginia

Mural Worthey

When Not To Speak

 

Introduction: There are a series of books title, When Not To. . .  .  A few months ago, I read one titled, When Not To Build.  The authors are Eddy Hall and Ray Bowman. It is good advice on when not to build a new church building. Another book by Hall and Bowman is When Not To Borrow. There is a book titled, The Parents’ When Not To Worry, by another author. These books are good because churches often are not cautious when beginning to borrow large sums of money and build a new facility. There is a time to do it and time not to do it.

 

Solomon wrote these words: “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal, etc.” (Eccl. 3:1-8.) He ended that list by saying: “A time to keep silence and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.” (3:7-8.) There are fourteen couplets of opposite things. I want to choose one of Solomon’s pairs for our message today: “There is a time to keep silence and a time to speak.” (3:7.) We could word it: A time to speak and a time not to speak. The biblical caution is against speaking too quickly and too much.

 

Biblical Warning (1 Peter 3:10, James 1:26.)

 

“In the multitude of words, there is no want of sin. He that refrains his lips is wise.” (Prov. 10:19.) In simple terms: Talk a lot; sin a lot. James wrote, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20.) James continued: “The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity; so is the tongue among our members. It defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature and is set on fire of hell.” (3:6.) Jesus, our Lord, said: “Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words, thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” (Matt. 12:36-37.)

David pleaded with God to keep him safe from the workers of iniquity. He described them as those “who whet their tongue like a sword and bend their bows to shoot their arrows, even bitter words.” (Psalm 64:1-3.)

 

Of the seven things that Solomon enumerated that God hates, three of the seven had to do with the tongue. He named: a lying tongue, a false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren. (Prov. 6:16-19.)

 

There are a lot of times when we ought not to speak. Have you ever spoken when you wished you had not??

 

Don’t speak when angry!

 

One of the most dangerous times to speak is when you are angry. Did you notice that James connected the two ideas? He wrote, “Be swift to hear and slow to speak and slow to wrath; for the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20.) We are more apt to say hurtful things at that time more than when we are calm.

 

When I was college age, I was in a Wednesday evening Bible Class when someone said something out of anger. It happened in a large church in Memphis, TN. We had a guest speaker that Wednesday evening. After his presentation, a man arose near where I was seated (one of the elders) and stormed to the podium. He was visibly angry and when he started to speak, he said that he should not say much because he was angry. But he proceeded any way to rebuke the speaker. He said that they had a conversation prior to the class and the preacher agreed not to mention his work and financial needs. But the preacher did any way. It was an embarrassing moment for everyone because we did not know what was going on. The following Sunday the elder resigned due to his lack of self-control. The lesson to be learned: Everyone else kept their composure, except one person. It is not wrong to be angry, but it is dangerous. You might do or say things that you should not say. “Be ye angry and sin not.” (Eph. 4:26.)

 

A Christian should try to bring his anger under control. Don’t excuse it; it is wrong. It is a work of the flesh. (Gal. 5:20.) Solomon even advised not to make friends with an angry man, lest you learn his ways. (Prov. 22:24-25.) There is a time not to speak—when you are upset or angry. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Be ye kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Eph. 4:31-32.)

 

Don’t speak when you are discouraged.  “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Eph. 4:29.) “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man.” (Col. 4:6.)

 

If you speak when you are discouraged, you will discourage others. Paul said that we should not let words come out of our mouths that do not edify or build up others. Some words that we speak are gracious and encouraging; others are hurtful and graceless.

 

O that my tongue might so possess

The accents of his tenderness

That every word I breathe might bless

 

A word of hope for those who fear

For those who mourn a word of cheer

Love for all men far and near

 

O that it might be said of me

Thy speech betrayeth thee

As a friend of Christ of Galilee

 

The ten spies representing ten tribes of Israel came back and expressed their discouragement and fear. Two spies, Joshua and Caleb, were positive. Ten men said that we were like grasshoppers in the eyes of the giants in Canaan, and in our own eyes also. (Numbers 13:33.) Now, that was the real problem. They saw themselves as grasshoppers. They had a grasshopper complex and spread it to others. They lacked faith in God. Only two men edified the others by their words of courage and faith. That great man, Caleb, stilled the people and said, “Let us go up at once and possess it, for we are well able to overcome it.” (13:30.) If you are afraid, don’t speak. If you are downcast and weary, pray but do not spew out your discouraging words to others.

Don’t speak when you are opposing the truth! Paul wrote about some who teach every kind of doctrine and deceive others by their craftiness. Rather, we should speak the truth in love that we may grow up in Him in all things. (Eph. 4:14-15.) In the Church, the Lord wants us to fulfill our roles so that we may edify the Body of Christ. There are many who seek to destroy it by their words and doctrines, but we should not be among them.

 

In addition, Paul added that we should put away lying and speak the truth with our neighbors, because we are members one of another. (4:25.) Recently, I was speaking with a bank vice-president about a problem that I had with a credit card. Someone had tried to use my credit card to make a purchase and they rejected it. In our conversation, she said one of the most common problems that banks experience is with the card-holders lying about purchases that card-holders made. We need to be truthful people, but many are not. We need to speak the truth in all situations and on all occasions.

 

When people reject the possibility of knowing truth, then they will speak whatever is convenient for them. Spiritually, this is death to the soul. Jesus said that he came to testify concerning the truth and everyone that is of the truth hears his voice. (John 18:37.) Don’t speak at all if you are going to oppose what is recorded in Scripture. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. (Eph. 4:30.) We grieve the Holy Spirit every time we speak against the truth. The Spirit of God will not always strive with us when we keep rejecting Him.

 

Don’t just speak with words; speak by your actions! Don’t speak when you have already spoken once. Don’t nag! Peter gave good advice to wives who have non-Christian husbands. He told them not to speak to their husbands continually about Christianity, but to allow your deeds to present Christ to him. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conver-sation of the wives.” (1 Peter 3:1.)The problem is that the words fall on deaf ears when the deeds are opposite to what you say.

 

Can you imagine how useless the words of a non-Christian husband or wife when they speak so many words that betray Christ? When they say so many things that are discouraging about the church? When they say hurtful things about other members? When they reveal by their words that they are prejudiced against other people?

Don’t speak when you have nothing good to say. “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not be once named among you as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks.” (Eph. 5:3-4.) “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Eph. 5:20.)

 

We need to raise the value level of our conversations. If foolishness is constantly coming out of our lips, it reveals that we have not been reading the Scriptures very much. There are so many worthwhile things that we could talk about rather than vain, useless words. Our words reveal the level of our maturity; they reveal what is important to us; they reveal our hearts.

 

Don’t speak when you are tooting your own horn! No one appreciates a horn tooter when the horn belongs to the person who is tooting it!! Jesus spoke a parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others. Two men went up into the temple to pray. (But one of them went up there to toot his own horn.) The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself: God, I thank you that I am not as other men are; extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week; I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar of would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying God, be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you that this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone that exalts himself shall be abased, and he that humbles himself shall be exalted. (Luke 18:9-14.)

You might think that Jesus was exaggerating or stretching his point. If you so think, you are wrong. There are many horn-tooters today who do just as the Pharisee did. It does not matter what you are talking about either. They have done it and can do it better than you. Don’t speak when you are thinking about exalting yourself. Neither God nor man likes to hear such talk! Remember, if you exalt yourself, God will humble you. (James 4:10.)