Alan Smith, White House, TN, wrote the following: "The Blessings of a Mate."

1. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
2. A man has six items in his bathroom—a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, soap, deodorant and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
3. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her.
4. A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants; a woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn’t want.
5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
6. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." (Hebrews 13:4.)

"And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matt. 19:4-6.)

"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he gives his beloved sleep. Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:1-5.)

It is essential that from the youngest possible years that everyone understand the biblical principles of marriage. Since the home is so important to us personally and directly, it is worthwhile to remind us of these great truths.

We could say that there is just one challenge to the stability and vitality of marriage and the home—that is sin. Sin is anything that opposes the will of God. But sin comes in many different forms. Sin is selfishness, wastefulness, immorality, disobedience to God, indifference, lack of love, etc.

In the past, we had serious challenges to the home by alcoholism, drugs, physical abuse, adultery, feminism, gambling and disregard of God’s will. Now we have some who want the very definition of marriage changed to include two women or two men. We have some joined together in civil unions and others in traditional marriages. This is why it is so important to know what God’s will is for marriages. And it is imperative that we honor his will in every regard. No one has the right to change it or ignore it.

Did you notice the words of the Psalmist who wrote that unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain to build it? A home built upon any other foundation is an exercise in futility.

The first and most important principle is to acknowledge that God is the author of the home and family. He made us, male and female, in his own image. (Gen. 1:26, Matt. 19:4, Gen. 2:24.)

Imagine a marriage where God is not respected and his will dishonored. That is not to say that unions between two non-Christians or one Christian and one non-Christian (as in 1 Peter 3) are not marriages. They are. Marriage is not a sacrament of the church. But the Gospel does apply to every aspect of our lives. The Bible has instructions about masters and servants. But this relationship is not a sacrament of the church. Since God is the Creator, he is the Master of every aspect of our lives and we should honor him. He owns all the silver and gold, the cattle on a thousand hills and the beasts of the field and all souls belong to him.

As we acknowledge in the area of giving and Christian stewardship, so also do we acknowledge in marriage that God is all in all. He is the owner of all that we possess and who we are. Our lives are in his hands. A marriage is starting on the right basis when we so recognize that the proper foundation for marriage is God. He ordained it. He established it. He created us male and female. Any other arrangement is sinful and denies the God of heaven. Same sex marriages are not marriages; they are sinful unions that cannot produce children, that dishonor God, that deny God, and will end in disaster and destruction.

Both the records in Genesis and Matthew state that the two, man and woman, become one flesh. This oneness in marriage is understood more by experience than intellectually. Even then, it is difficult to put into words. Here is an effort to do that by some.

"Becoming one flesh involves the complete identification of one personality with the other in a community of interests and pursuits, a union consummated in intercourse." (Leupold on the Old Testament, Genesis I, H. C. Leupold, 137.)

"There must be a legal oneness. The Bible teaches that we should obey the laws of the land. (Romans 13:1.) There should be physical oneness. The phrase, one flesh, has special reference to the sexual relationship. (1 Cor. 6:16.) There should be emotional oneness. (Eph. 5:28-29.) Above all, there should be spiritual oneness, the kind that exists between Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:31-33.) (The Life of Christ, 2, Coy Roper, 194-95.)

"By leaving of father and mother, which applies to the woman as well as to the man, the conjugal union is shown to be a spiritual oneness, a vital communion of heart as well as of body, in which it finds its consummation." (Commentary on the Old Testament: Genesis, Keil and Delitzsch, 90.)

There is a oneness in that God joins the two in marriage. What God has therefore joined together, let not man put asunder. It is like the spiritual union between Christ and the church. Since this union is called a mystery; the oneness between a man and wife is also a mystery.

Story: Neale Pryor told the story about a preacher who forgot the names of the couple who wanted to see him after the services. The preacher announced from the pulpit that those wanted to see him about marriage to meet him in his office after the services. One man and twelve women showed up in his office! (Life of Christ, 2, Coy Roper, 192-93, in a sermon at Brown Trail Church of Christ to young people in 1985. The message was "So You Want to Get Married.")

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself." (Eph. 5:25, 28.)

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children." (Titus 2:3-4.)

When you first marry, you may be tempted to think that eros is the love-foundation of marriage. But you will soon learn that while that union of husband and wife is significant, it is not the foundation of your marriage. But rather, the deeper love of unselfishness and commitment, agape, is the proper foundation. It may take you some time to learn and practice that love because it is the mature love that can hold your marriage and family together.

Husbands and wives have different roles to fulfill in the home. Paul wrote that husbands should so love their wives that they are ready to die for them, even as Jesus did for the church. He said that the husband is the head of their wife, as Christ is the head of the church. Some today do not seem to understand the spiritual nature of that headship. It is not so much a position of privilege as it is a role of responsibility. Husbands who abuse it and wives who reject it are violating God’s will for the family.

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." (1 Peter 3:1.)

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor. 11:3.)

Story. Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off. Otherwise, they were all going to fall to the ground. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, the men were so moved by what she said that they started clapping their hands!

God planned the home and marriage. It is therefore useful, beneficial and important to all of us. By making us male and female, God thereby laid the foundation for marriage. It is the union of men and women in marriage. Paul wrote, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his won wife and let every woman have her own husband." (1 Cor. 7:2.) In this relationship, we do find fulfillment and happiness. The challenges to get along and forgive one another produce maturity. One purpose is procreation—giving birth to the next generation. There is great fulfillment in having children and grandchildren. Marriage ends in this life, but we do not. In the next, there will be neither marrying nor giving in marriage, but we will be like the angels of heaven.

"Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." (Matt. 22:28-30.)