Introduction

"If thou, Lord shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared." (Psalm 130:3-4.)

Last Sunday, we tried to go back to the beginning and find where the idea of forgiveness first began. We noted that the first time the word is found is Genesis 50:17 when Joseph’s brothers sought his forgiveness. The theme of forgiveness is at the heart of the Bible’s message. It reveals much about the nature of God and the need of all mankind. In the Bible, we have both "an accuser of the brethren" as well as a "Savior of the world." (Rev. 12:10, John 4:42.) This great conflict and drama is far from simple. It is complex and difficult. The innocent Son of God died to make reconciliation with God the Father possible.

Some of the greatest stories of the Bible deal with forgiveness. We noticed the story of Joseph and his brothers being reconciled in our study last Sunday. It was an emotional scene. Joseph wept so loudly that the Egyptians outside and Pharaoh’s house heard him. The reconciliation of these brothers is one of the greatest stories of all time.

Brother Windell Winkler told the following story about forgiveness. It involved a wealthy Boston businessman and his wife. The husband was faithful to his wife and prosperous in his business. In contrast, his wife was sinful and lewd. She often drank and partied. Sometimes she would embarrass her husband by stumbling into his business meetings drunken. Finally, she left home and he tried to find her. Weeks and months passed and she could not be found. The husband began to call the local hospitals to see if she was a patient, but he could not locate her. He then called the funeral homes and morgues. He finally found her. Her wasteful life had come to a shameful end. The husband bought the most expensive casket and provided beautiful flowers for her grave. On the tombstone, he had one word engraved---FORGIVEN. This story is very much like the story of Hosea and Gomer. Gomer was an adulterous woman who was not faithful to Hosea. Yet Hosea received her back with forgiveness. Israel was like that sinful woman, going after other gods. God desires to forgive, but man wastes his life in sin. (Studying Sin Seriously, Windell Winkler, 81-86.)

I am convinced that there would be many more such stories in and out of the Bible, but Satan successfully foils many of them. Here are some common elements that seek to destroy the beauty of reconciliation among men and between God and men.

Playing the role of God. In the story of Joseph, he made this significant statement to his brothers when they came fearfully and earnestly seeking forgiveness. Joseph asked, "Am I in the place of God?" (Gen. 50:19.) We must remember that no matter how innocent we may feel, we are not in the place of God. We may not be so totally innocent ourselves. In times of reconciliation, it may be good if even the offended party asked for forgiveness in areas where it may be appropriate. Only God is completely innocent in matters of reconciliation. We should readily forgive because we too stand in need of God’s forgiveness. We cannot be forgiven unless we forgive. (Matt. 6:14-15.)

Playing the role of the victim. If you have been offended, you must be careful that you do not play the role of the victim. Some seem to love the fact that they have been hurt. They repeat the story to everyone who will listen. Joseph did not live in the past nursing his wounds. He moved on with his life with a gracious, magnanimous attitude.

Pouting over the grace shown to others. When the younger son came home, the father received him graciously. (Luke 15.) Everything seemed so perfect about the reunion of father and son. The son came humbly declaring that he was not worthy any longer to be called his son. He wanted to be made only a servant in his father’s house. This is the right attitude when seeking forgiveness. The father restored him fully to his place of honor in the household as son again. Everything seemed just right. Then the spoiler speaks up. The older son said to his father, When this thy son came home. . . He would not refer to him as his brother. He pouted over the party that was given to honor the younger son. He made his complaint to the father. His father tenderly entreated him and asked him to join in with the spirit of the occasion, but his heart was not right.

Some, no doubt, would argue with God over the grace extended to the thief on the cross. The Pharisees disputed with Jesus because a sinful woman was allowed to anoint him and wash his feet with her tears. (Luke 7:36-50.) Jesus rebuked the self-righteous Pharisee by saying that he had not offered to wash Jesus’ feet, but the sinful woman washed them with her tears. Jesus said, Her sins which are many are forgiven for she loved much. To whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. (7:47.)

Pride keeps many from seeking forgiveness. Just as Peter was accepted again and forgiven by the Lord, so also could Judas have been forgiven. How sad that he went out and hanged himself when the Lord would have readily received him back! Saul of Tarsus committed terrible acts of harm and murder against Christians. He was a devout Pharisee thinking that he was doing God service by killing Christians. Yet, to his credit Saul of Tarsus did not allow pride to get in the way of submitting himself to the Lord of Lords.

The humility of Paul is evident. He wrote, "For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace was not bestowed upon me in vain, but I labored more abundantly than they all; yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." (1 Cor. 15:9-10.)

Fear can spoil reconciliation. There is a reunion that is not described in the Bible; it is the reunion between Philemon and Onesimus. Paul converted Onesimus in Rome and sent him back to Philemon, his master, with a short letter. Paul argued his case for receiving Onesimus back. In fact, Paul may have named this runaway slave, Onesimus, which means "profitable one." (verse 11.) Paul stated that whatever Onesimus owed Philemon that Paul would repay. He said, "If you count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself." (verse 17.)

Even with this tender appeal, it must have been difficult for Onesimus to go back home. It is perhaps the same kind of fear that we have returning to God Almighty. All along the way, Onesimus may have stopped on his journey from Rome to Colossae to read the letter one more time. That is the way it is with us. On our way back to God, we have a letter from the one who has converted us (Jesus our Lord). He has written to the Father, "Whatever they owe put it on my account." And, "If you count me as a partner, receive them as you would receive me." Like Onesimus, we must not allow fear to keep us from going all the way back with the letter (Bible). God will honor the request of Jesus to forgive.

Jacob also feared the meeting with his twin brother Esau. (Genesis 32-33.) You will remember the deception of Isaac by Jacob and his mother Rebekah. (Gen. 27.) Isaac was old and blind. While Esau was hunting for venison, Jacob pretended that he was Esau. They deceived Isaac by putting the skin of goats on his arms and hands because Esau was a hairy man. Isaac said, The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau. Are you my very son, Esau? Jacob said, I am. (27:22-24.) Jacob received the first born blessing from his father. Because of this Esau hated Jacob and purposed to kill him. (27:41.) Rebekah sent Jacob away to her homeland in Haran. Years later, when Jacob started to leave Haran and return to his country, he heard that Esau was coming to meet him with four hundred men. Jacob was afraid that Esau would now take vengeance upon him and his family. (32:6-7.)

This meeting between these two brothers is another helpful scene concerning forgiveness. It occurred twenty years after Jacob fled from Esau. Here are some important things in this tense scene.

Jacob knew that he was the guilty one. Jacob was the one worried about what Esau might do. He knew that he had deceived his father. Rebekah, his mother, was also guilty. Esau did sell his birthright to Jacob for some food, but Jacob took advantage of him when he was hungry. Esau said that Jacob had deceived him twice. It is hard to find reconciliation if the ones involved do not recognize or admit who did the wrong. Joseph’s brothers knew that they had sinned against Joseph. Joseph was innocent. Jacob may have wronged the other sons by showing favor more to Joseph, but the brothers should not have sought to kill their brother. Many conflicts are never resolved because the offender cannot be found! Who did the wrong? The wrong doer cannot be found; everyone is innocent. Judas knew that he had sinned against innocent blood. Saul of Tarsus knew that he had killed innocent people who wanted to serve the Lord. Remember that reconciliation cannot occur unless the guilty party knows and admits that he is guilty.

Jacob sent messengers with gifts to Esau. Joseph’s brothers also sent a messenger to speak to Joseph for them. Joseph is a young child when this meeting occurs between his father Jacob and Esau. This occasion may have deeply impressed the young Joseph, who was present when his father had to meet Esau. The gifts showed that Jacob was sincere about his change of heart and that he did not want to fight a battle. He was concerned about the safety of his family with small children.

Esau had forgotten his anger. Sometime in the intervening years, Esau had put away his anger. If he had held onto it, the anger would have made Esau a bitter man. Both Esau and Jacob are now grown men and more mature. Jacob was pleasantly surprised to see the attitude of Esau. Jacob said, "I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me." (33:10.) Esau ran to meet Jacob and kissed him. This was a tender reunion between two brothers who had been separated for twenty years.

Jacob wrested with the angel of God. This strange experience that Jacob had occurred the night before Jacob and Esau met. The messengers told Esau that Jacob was behind them. At the brook Jabbok, Jacob wrestled with an angel until the break of day. (32:23-32.) The angel is also called a man. (32:24.) What did this mean? Jacob prevailed over the angel, but the angel touched his thigh causing Jacob to walk with a limp. Jacob refused to let the angel go until he blessed him. The angel changed his name from Jacob, supplanter or deceiver, to Israel, a prince of God. (32:28.)

Jacob needed to know for sure that he was accepted of God and that the promises of God made to him would stand. The events of his life left Jacob with a great deal of confusion. Now all those things were coming to a head. Esau waited on the other side of the brook; Jacob would meet him there the next day. Confusion filled the mind of Jacob. He wrestled all night to get answers to his questions. God gave him the answers that he needed to proceed with confidence.

Sin and conflicts with others fill our hearts with confusion. Like Jacob, we must earnestly seek for the face of God. We need forgiveness and assurance. We must not allow anything the power to destroy the tender moments of reconciliation and forgiveness.