Men are often tempted by three things: the desire for money, sex, and power, according to Richard Foster in Money, Sex and Power. Of these three, we perhaps say the least about the temptation of power. We even unconsciously assign a degree of sinfulness to each of these as well. Sexual sins are the worse; covetousness or the love for money is a distant second; and the abuse of power is almost acceptable in our churches. Money and power may often be found together, but not necessarily so. Anyone in a position of power can abuse it. We do not think about the desire to control others as being sinful, but it is!

Foster wrote, "The idolatry of today is the idolatry of power. Books by the score appeal to our Machiavellian passions. Today, by and large, political leaders give more energy to jockeying for position than to serving the public good; business executives care more about keeping on top of the heap than for producing a useful product; university professors seek sophistication more than truth; and religious leaders care more for their image than for the Gospel. And in the midst of this power-crazed society, many Christians wonder how to live with integrity."

Here are some biblical texts:

"Moreover I call God for a record upon my soul that to spare you I came not as yet unto Corinth. Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy; for by faith you stand."

(2 Cor. 1:23-24.) This is a remarkable statement by the apostle. They did possess a great deal of spiritual weight in laying the foundation of the church. Jesus told the apostles that what they bind on earth would be bound in heaven, and what they loosed on earth would be loosed in heaven. (Matt. 16:19.)

When Paul confronted his opponents at Corinth, he wrote: "But I will come to you shortly, if the Lord will, and will know, not the speech of them which are puffed up, but the power. For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. What will ye? Shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?" (1 Cor. 4:19-21.) Paul was always careful not to exalt himself over others. Even the apostles did not have dominion over the faith of others. By their own faith they stood or fell.

Diotrephes has the distinction in the Bible as the one who sought after pre-eminence. In contrast, Demetrius had a good report. "I wrote unto the church but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the pre-eminence among them, received us not. Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words, and not content therewith; neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church." (3 John 9-10.)

It seems that Diotrephes thought that the local church belonged to him. He forbade certain missionaries from coming there and opposed the brethren who wanted to receive them. If people did not agree with Diotrephes, he made them know that they were not welcome at "his church." It is difficult to imagine what makes a man think that he can so behave in the Lord’s church. The local church does not belong to any man, any family group, the preacher, the elders, those who established it, those who have given the most money, or anyone else. If you think that this problem of the desire for power died with Diotrephes, you are seriously mistaken. I have met "Diotrephes" on many occasions. He is still very much alive. He is a sinful man just as an adulterer or a covetous person. He may, in fact, be harming the church more than the other two persons.

The man we most often think about when we think of abusing power in the church is Diotrephes. In the realm of political power, the name of Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527) symbolized abuse. He was an Italian statesman and writer whom many people consider the father of modern political science. He viewed the state as an organism with its ruler as the head and its people as the body. He maintained that a healthy state is unified, orderly, and in balance. An unhealthy state may require strong measures to restore it to normal. Machiavelli called for a leader to use any means necessary to preserve the state, resorting to cruelty, deception, and force if nothing else worked. The word, Machiavellian, came to mean cunning and unscrupulous. He explained most of his ideas in The Prince, 1532, his best known book.

The battleship and the lighthouse. I like the story written by Frank Cock in a naval magazine, Profittee.

"Two battleships had been assigned to the maneuvers in heavy rain for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge when night fell. Vision was poor with patchy fog so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activity.

"Shortly after dark the lookout on the wing reported a light bearing on the starboard bow. Is it steady or moving a stern? The captain called out. Steady, he said, which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signal man, Signal that ship. ‘We are on a collision course; advise that you change course 20 degrees.’ They received a signal back advising them to change course 20 degrees. The captain said to the signal man, Say I am the captain; change course 20 degrees. The reply came, I am a second seaman; you’d better change course 20 degrees. The captain was furious. He said, Send this: I am a battleship; change course 20 degrees! Back came the message: I am a lighthouse; change course 20 degrees!"

This story shows how power can be misused and dangerous. But men especially have trouble with this. They will argue with a lighthouse.

A new sentry and a General. A new sentry was posted at a time of red alert. He was young and new to his job. A General came up to the check point with his driver. The sentry was ordered to check the ID of everyone entering. But the General told the young man to open the gate and let him through. The young man did not know what to do. It was against the rules, but this man was a General.

He replied to the General, Sir, I am new to this job. I was told not to let anyone pass without proper ID. The young soldier pulled his gun and asked the General, Who am I supposed to shoot first? You or your driver?

A renown surgeon and a trainee. A young woman surgeon was given the privilege of assisting a world renown surgeon. He was an expert in his field. She carefully worked with him throughout the tedious surgery. When they finished, he ordered her to close the incision. She replied, Sir, we used 10 sponges during this surgery but only 9 are accounted for. He replied, I said to close up and get out of here! She trembled. He was confident and the lead surgeon. But she repeated that it was her responsibility to account for all sponges used; one was missing. He reminded her that she had much to loose by refusing to obey his orders. She stood fast with her objection. All sponges must be accounted for before closing. His eyes turned down to his feet. Her eyes followed his. He was standing on one of the sponges to see what she would do. He praised her for her courage to confront him and do her duty.

This story shows the importance of integrity among those who work for those who have positions of power. We should not blindly follow them, but we should have the courage to challenge any abuses of power. Everyone should be in submission to God. We are taught to submit to one another in the fear of God. (Eph. 5:21.)

Controlling people can be found just about everywhere and in every relationship in life. They are found among political leaders because power is found there. We all remember Hitler and Stalin. In modern days, we have Moloshovich, Sadam Hussain, and Fidel Castro. They abuse their positions of power and affect the lives of millions. Marriage relationships are often plagued with one partner trying to control the life of the other. Parents and children must deal with this problem. Churches are not immune. Anywhere people are found, you will find some trying to gain the upper hand and control others.

Why do some seek to control others? One reason most often pointed out by psychologists is that they are not nearly as self-assured as they often appear. "The soul of control is fueled by anxiety and nurtured by feelings of extreme vulnerability and a fragile self-confidence." (The Control Freak, Les Parrott III, 51.) "Deep in the soul of every control freak is an ample supply of anxiety, a seemingly endless stream that continually fuels the fear of being out of control." (Ibid, 48.) "Imagine an anxious man desperately holding on to a life ring to keep from drowning. The anxiety that shoots through his body strengthens his grip as he holds fast to the life ring. In the same way, control freaks are grabbing fro anything and anybody that will keep them afloat as their personal anxiety rises." (Ibid, 49.)

Is control all bad ? The feeling of being in control is essential to a sense of well-being in our lives. It can be a positive force. It turns into a negative force when we abuse others around us in our effort to ease our feelings of anxiety.

Hospitals have changed the way they administer pain medication to patients. The old method was for a doctor to prescribe the amount to be given and nurses followed his orders. But doctors experimented with a group of patients. Using a simple apparatus, the patients were allowed to administer their own pain medication. For the first time ever, the patients were in charge of their own medication. The researchers found that the patients used less medication than before. It seems that when patients are in control of their own dosage, they do not need as much as medicine. Feeling that one is in control of his life is a positive feeling.

Control is also critical to our happiness at home and our satisfaction at work. After reviewing a huge number of studies on what makes people happy, David Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness, discovered that feeling in control is one of the key traits of happy people. For young and old alike, controlling our surroundings clearly brings pleasure. Just ask people who are not allowed to adjust their temperature, change their room lights, or move the furniture in their living quarters. Chances are they will feel as if they are in prison. Elderly people do not want to move our of their own home into a nursing home because that involves a lose of control over their lives. Young people want to move out of their parents home so that they can have a greater degree of control over their own lives. I can still hear Jeffrey’s words as he mused to himself, Just two more weeks and I will be moving out on my own!

The harm comes when we want to control the lives of others. Frank Sinatra sang, I did it my way. Controlling people add, And you will soon learn to do it my way too.

Dr. Les Parrott III gave this definition of a control freak: "He is a person who cares more than you do about something and won’t stop at being pushy to get their way." (The Control Freak, 2.) A person who cares a great deal about football may not only reserve the best seat before the TV, but also his vacation---even the family’s vacation--around it. You know better than to interfere with that person’s desire to watch those games. This person may not be so controlling about other things, but football is something that he cares a great deal about.

The apostle Paul cared a great deal about preaching the Gospel to the lost. Since he cared so much, perhaps more than many others around him, he might have seemed a bit pushy at times to get the job done. John Mark found that out the hard way. He left Paul while on a missionary journey. Paul did not want him with him after that! Most of us probably would have found Paul a little difficult to work with. He cared greatly about his mission in life. A controlling person should not always be described in the worse possible way. They are not all Diotrephes; some are Pauls. Parents care a great deal about their children. For this reason, parents can be seen as being too controlling and demanding. Children should understand this love; parents should learn to ease up on the anxiety and allow the children to make their own decisions.