Scene Thirteen

Scene Thirteen

Through the blackout we hear the sound of hysterical wailing. The lights come up and we are in a cemetery on the outskirts of Rome. JULINKA, dressed in a black gown and a black veil, enters crying and wringing her hands. SHE is followed by CATALUNI, who remains stone-faced, and the EIGHT SLAVES, led by TITHAKA, all carrying a coffin draped in purple silk. They, too, are weeping and wailing. A FEW MOURNERS are behind them.
SLAVES Asclepius is gone! Asclepius is dead!
Oh, what a dreadful disaster!
Soldiers of Pluto,
Lord of the Underworld,
You will not take our master.
Put away your swords and shields---
Our master’s bound for the Elysian fields.

Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,
By the gods in heaven
He was surely blessed.

(As THEY sing, the lights in the coffin come on, and we see ASCLEPIUS enjoying every minute. Next to him is the tube sticking through an opening in the casket.) Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,
How we’ll miss his kindness
And his joy and zest!

We will miss his dazzling smile
And those thighs so steely,
We will miss his flair and style
When he got touchy-feely.

(CATALUNI raises an eyebrow toward Julinka. SHE whispers to him.)

JULINKA

I promised them each two gold talents apiece.

SLAVES

Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,
Of all Roman masters,
He was far the best.
Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est.
(THEY begin to lower the coffin into the ground. CATALUNI reaches under the purple cloth and surreptitiously takes hold of the end of the tube. While this is going on, the stage begins to rise so that we see the coffin lowered in the grave and the tube extending to the surface. SLAVES pantomime filling the cavity with dirt. THEY return to their weeping and wailing, then instantly stop. Now they are certain they cannot be overheard.)
Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,
At last we’ve been rescued
From that fucking pest.

Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,

MALE SLAVE He would squeeze my balls
FEMALE SLAVE And he would grab my breast.
(In the coffin we see ASCLEPIUS becoming angrier and angrier. HE starts to shake his fist in the direction of the Slaves.)
SLAVES We won’t miss his constant lust,
And the way he'd drain us---
We pray his penis turns to dust
And worms devour his anus.

Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est,
Now we’ll never have to look
At him undressed.
Conclamatum est,
Conclamatum est.

(SLAVES begin to move off right. MOURNERS follow and then CATALUNI and JULINKA. JULINKA stops, indicates CATALUNI should go on without her. SHE returns to the grave, reaches down and starts to pull up the tube. In the coffin ASCLEPIUS stares in terror as the tube begins to disappear.)

BLACKOUT