Scene Seven


A completely darkened stage illuminated by two spots---one on Julinka downstage right and one on Cataluni, now dressed again in a toga, downstage left. They are pleading their cases before the court and addressing the audience face front.
CATALUNI
I never killed this woman's husband! I met them both in the Forum. They invited me to their home where they proceeded to ravish me in every way, shape and form.

JULINKA

Lies, lies, lies!
But he's from Gaul
So it's not a surprise.
He's a cad and a skunk---
What he says is all bunk---
And they're lies, lies, lies!
CATALUNI
I showed them my newest invention. My suit to collect the sweat from gladiators. And, before I knew it, they had sold it to the Coliseum and blamed it on their slaves. Then I invented this breath machine so that people won't ever be buried alive again.

JULINKA

Lies, lies, lies!
Every fact
He will try to revise---
He is vile and uncouth
And can never speak truth---
For they're lies, lies, lies!
CATALUNI
And I showed it to them, and this woman here got the idea that since her husband was always complaining about nobody loving him, they could put it to the test and place the tube in his coffin and then he'd see that everybody adored him.

JULINKA

Have you ever heard anything so absurd?
You cannot believe one single word.
There's nothing worse than a plebe with ambition---
And who would trust a plebe above a patrician?


CATALUNI

Well, nobody adored him---most of all his wife. And while he was down below the earth she went and tore the tube out so she could collect his fortune and get rid of him and blame it on me.

JULINKA

Lies, lies, lies!
You have only to look
In his eyes---
He's a swine and a snake
And an absolute rake---
And they're lies, lies, lies!
CATALUNI
They're not lies! Everything I am telling you is the truth!

JULINKA

Can you believe a creature so hideous
Who tries to rape a Vestal Virgin
And then knocks out cold the great Helvidius?


CATALUNI

That's not true! I mean, I did knock out Helvidius, but I didn't try to rape Cristelle! And I never killed this woman's husband. Believe me! Please believe me!
 
 

LIGHTS DIM
 


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