Scene Ten

Scene Ten

Through the blackout we hear more garbled sounds followed by a peal of raucous laughter. The lights come on, and we see the Emperor Trajan, a large imposing man, enter from the right and stride across stage in one followed by a COURTIER holding the cylindrical invention in his hands. TRAJAN Ridiculous…absurd. That's not my voice. Sounds more like parakeets. Cataluni? Wasn't he the one who invented that supposed breath machine years ago which caused the death of that man who had that wife who wrote that stupid book on Caligula? I remember. I was fighting in Hispania, and it was the talk of the regiment. Tell him to toss it into the Tiber. But be kind.

(THEY both exit left. A spot falls downstage right. A PATRICIAN sits at a writing desk. HE is listening to Cataluni's latest invention, as CATALUNI watches intently. The PATRICIAN scowls, shakes his head, hands the cylindrical device back to Cataluni. CATALUNI moves a few steps further. A SECOND PATRICIAN scrutinizes the machine, hands it back, makes a face of disapproval. A third spot falls on stage. Again CATALUNI moves to yet another PATRICIAN. This one is standing with his WIFE, both of whom are unimpressed. CATALUNI takes the player back and enters a fourth spotlight where a FOURTH PATRICIAN has exactly the same negative reaction. CATALUNI is crushed, goes to the edge of stage left. The FOUR PATRICIANS and the WIFE step from where they were and form a unit as the lights illuminate the stage.)

FOUR PATRICIANS & WIFE                     Toss it in the Tiber,
                    Let it wash up on foreign beaches---
                    Who wants to listen all day
                    To those tiny rodent screeches? Toss it in the Tiber---
It is utterly unappealing---
Who wants to listen all day
To what sounds like monkeys squealing?

What can you expect from a madman from Gaul
Whose birth was common and lowly?
This one is different than his breath machine,
It will kill you much more slowly.

Even when it comes to inventions
You can tell the difference
Between the patrician and the plebian---
So toss it in the Tiber,
Toss it in the Tiber,
Or better still the Aegean.

(CATALUNI stands facing the audience, absolutely crushed.)

LIGHTS DIM