ACT TWO
 

Scene One



 
 

After the second act overture, we see a backdrop of a street near the Forum. Painted on it is a huge building which has "BATHS" inscribed on a plaque in Romanesque letters. CATALUNI dashes on from the left, stops suddenly, and looks up at the building. HE glances back in the direction from which he emerged, then whirls around and speeds off to the right. JULINKA and the THREE POLICE GUARDS hurry on with JULINKA pointing off stage right. THEY disappear in pursuit. The backdrop rises, and we are in the dressing area of the Baths. FIVE LADIES, rather on in age, are undressing in five different cubicles.
 
FIRST LADY
Did you hear, Cerelia, about the murder?

SECOND LADY

What murder?

THIRD LADY

Asclepius, of course!

SECOND LADY

Asclepius? You mean that parvenu heir to his grandfather's olive oil fortune?

FOURTH LADY

That's the one---married to Julinka.

FIFTH LADY

Is she still writing that book about her father?

THIRD LADY

Haven't you heard? She's had it published.

FOURTH LADY

I'm sure everyone in Rome is clamoring to read it.
  (By this time ALL FIVE have wrapped towels about themselves and are emerging from their cubicles.)
 
SECOND LADY
But what about the murder?

FIRST LADY

It's the most bizarre thing that I can ever remember in Rome!

THIRD LADY

Sex, tubes and the Gods know what all!

FOURTH LADY

Julinka is now the wealthiest widow in the Empire.

SECOND LADY

Did she poison him? Bludgeon him? What?

FIRST LADY

According to her, it was this stud from Gaul.

SECOND LADY

A stud from Gaul! Tell me everything! (A spot falls on them as the FOUR gather around the SECOND and begin to pantomime the murder while the orchestra drowns them out. Then the spot fades and the LADIES address the audience.)
 
FIRST LADY
When you reach that stage in life


SECOND LADY

When you're tired of war;


THIRD LADY

And even gladiator bouts


FOURTH LADY

Are beginning to bore.


FIFTH LADY

                    And love has become much too thorny---

ALL

                    Besides you're seldom ever horny.
  There's nothing more exciting than murder,
There's nothing more exciting than crime;
There's nothing more exciting than husbands and wives
Who do the other in with some rope or knives,
Then list'ning to the bullshit from the one who survives---
That is what we call sublime!

Whenever someone poisons someone else,
You're interest never ceases---
Especially when they poison someone else
And then cut him up in little pieces.

For there's nothing more exciting than murder,
There's nothing more exciting than crime!
What of those who kill with not the slightest remorse,
Who do their victims in after intercourse
Then grind up their remains into a mackerel sauce?
Tell it to us one more time!
For there's nothing more exciting than murder!
There's nothing more exciting than crime!
 

(As THEY begin a dance indicating all the murders they have loved---acting out in balletic terms murder by poisoning, murder by stabbing, murder by hanging, etc, we see CATALUNI steal onto the stage and tiptoe from cubicle to cubicle collecting some of the garments the Ladies have left behind. When HE has selected what he needs---including a wig--- HE hurries off stage left, and the LADIES finish the number. In a moment, JULINKA and the THREE POLICE GUARDS hurry on and begin to inspect each of the cubicles. LADIES regard them with utter disdain.)
 
LIGHTS DIM
 
 



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