I still love him, so very much.. but not the warrior he became..
avenger of wrongs, defender of Christendom,
nemesis of Saxon, "dux bellorum"..
but *the boy like quicksilver,
intuitive, clever, bright-eyed, smiling,
mystical, magical, whimsical*....
He was once like that.

But the world became for him
a world of only black and white.
(I see it as a swirl of movement
like his twirling red-gold cape,
or the rich glinting tapestry of his life
forever folding and unfolding.)
With furrowed brow and serious look,
he turned to serve a higher good.

We searched no more
through wooded grove for fox's den,
followed no more flights of birds
in Humber Trails on wings of fancy.
We sang no more the old love songs.
Or lay together in God's golden meadows...

So now he goes to Avalon, and I to caves of tears and ice.
Perhaps I'll be a metaphor in someone else's song.
I hear a ghostly echo: "My love, I'm missing you."
But it is not his voice, for he never really said good-bye.
It is only Myrddin Emrys whispering farewell
to a sweet young man of love, light and mist
who was once
like me........