HELENA MAKES HER MOVE

It's not Halloween. Helena is dressed up like a ninja to kill Chloe.

Deciding she'd finally had enough of the annoying Chloe Morgan, Helena went to her closet and put together a rather bizarre Ninja outfit, grabbed a stiletto and made her move on Chloe Morgan. Unfortunately, Ms. Morgan managed to call out to her erstwhile Brenda hunting beau, Jax and he rushed to the rescue. By the time Jax made it into the room, Chloe had fainted and Helena had made a run for it.

ALEXIS LEARNS SHE'S AN INTERNET PIN-UP GIRL

Alexis reacts as reporters confront her about being Internet pin-up girl, Eddie's Angel.

Alexis was expecting to be mobbed by reporters after getting Sonny released on bail for the drug trafficking charges, but she didn't expect to be the subject of their questions. One cheeky reporter handed her a copy of the picture of her in her teddy and clutching a rose between her teeth and asked what she thought of the website dedicated to her. Alexis...between hyperventilating...wondered if someone had done this to discredit her. Ned tried to use his money to get the website off the internet and only succeeded in making matters worse. As Alexis was grossed out over the fact some pimply-faced teen might be drooling over a picture of her in her undies.

BRAINWASHED OR BRAIN DAMAGED?

One had to wonder if the problem with Lucky was that he was supposedly brainwashed when he came up with the lamest plan you can imagine to frame Dead Ted's supposed killer, Zander, for his murder. His plan was to put Ted's frozen corpse into Zander's van then tip-off the cops. Yeah, I'm sure that could work. I'm sure every killer rides around town with a frozen corpse in their car. Duh!

BOBBIE GIVES ROY ONE FOR THE ROAD

About to leave town to take son Lucas to a diabetic clinic after trying to weasel her way out of it by getting ex-hubby Tony to do it instead, Bobbie and Roy had one last night of sex. In the afterglow, Roy received a call from Luke, so he'll be hitting the road, as well. I'm sure Roy will survive the separation just fine, but will Bobbie? Not only does she have a constant need to have sex with Roy, she's also addicted to doing his thinking for him, as well, as she demonstrated earlier in the week when she demanded he leave the police station and not involve himself in Sonny's problems.

THE GREAT Q BABY DEBATE CONTINUES

Some people just can't take a hint. Edward watches as Alan and Monica try to make a baby on the couch.

Edward was still complaining about Alan and Monica wanting to have a baby at their age, while he continued to take a voyueristic pleasure out of watching them go at it as they tried to conceive a child. Added to that, the family drunk, AJ, preached to Monica against her having a baby, while at the same time bragging how he was sure the court was going to let a drunk like him have custody of his son. As for Alan and Monica, they just kept fighting and trying to make a baby.

THE BORG RETURNS

The Borg and his trademark stare arrive at Sonny's doorstep.

Just when Carly was bemoaning to Baby Michael that people who truly love you don't turn your back on you and cut you out of their life when you make a mistake, like an answer to her prayers, there was a knock at the door. It was the object of Carly's obsession, Jason The Borg Morgan. Surely, all will be right with her world, now.

LUCKY HAS SOME FUN WITH DRUGGED-UP LIZ

Lucky and Liz share an unmemorable kiss.

After LipGloss Liz stupidly drank a from a drink Zander, who the teens suspect of killing Dead Ted, she got a major dose of the date rape drug. Lucky hustled her out of there and back to her loft. Once there they shared kisses and dances and declarations of love that LipGloss had no memory of in the morning. Nor was she the least bit suspicious that Lucky and she had slept in the same bed together.

JAX FINDS BRENDA WITH A SONNY CLONE

This must be the week for giving one for the road. Chloe gave Jax a roll in the hay, literally, before he took off to search for Brenda. He finally found her in Paris getting in a limo with a guy that could only be described as a Sonny substitute. Jax didn't notice that, however, as he ran towards the limo yelling, Brender!