AJ DISPENSES DRUNEN PEARLS OF WISDOM

Ned and Alexis listen as AJ yammers on.

After winning big at the poker table, AJ was convinced once more that he can't lose. In the spirit of that feeling he decided to dispense a few pearls of wisdom to Ned and Alexis. What actually came out of his mouth was a bunch of aimless meanderings on nothing in particular and everything in general. Unfortunately, Ned and Alexis weren't the only citizens who got a helping of AJ's brand of wisdom. Next up was Hannah Scott, who AJ informed would eventually dump Marcus Taggart for something better. Himself. He also whined a little to Bobbie Spencer about how unfair it is he's not being allowed to play daddy to his son. Of course, when she suggested he clean up his act and stop giving lip service and put his money where his mouth was, he poured boozed over his pancakes and shoveled them down his throat.

ALAN CONTINUES TO BE JEALOUS OF SPERM DOC

As Monica continued to gush over the fertility doctor who would help her get pregnant, Alan feared that the doc would do it the old fashioned way by having an affair with his wife. Edward and AJ didn't make Alan feel any better as they continued to weigh-in with their disapproval of Monica and Alan having another child. Edward's stance was, Isn't one AJ more than enough.

LIPGLOSS LIZ MEETS THE BLACKMAILER

Liz posing as census taker as she tries to get the nitty-gritty on blackmailing babysitter, Gia.

The blackmailer, Gia, declared she was a homeless waif and only was picking up the bag of money because she thought there might be food in it, before threatening to cry rape unless the Hardy Boys aka Lucky and Nikolas let her go. Having no choice, they complied, but Lucky followed her to a mansion. Wanting to learn more about the blackmailer Liz dressed up as a census worker and pumped Gia's employer for info on the felon.

NURSE DISPLAYS SYMPTOMS OF TWITCHING PELVIS SYNDROME

Carly and her little brother, Lucas, threw a birthday party for thier mother, Bobbie Spencer. Unfortunately, the moment Roy DeLucca entered the party Ms. Spencer ignored her son and wanted to know when her daughter would be moving out. Ms. Spencer also displayed a strange symptom everytime Roy DeLucca stood anywhere near her. Her pelvis would start twitching. Which left many to suggest when a man is near, Ms. Spencer's libido is like a heat-seeking missile.

EMILY FINALLY DECIDES TO TELL JUAN ALL

Despite the urging of her friends to keep the truth from her boyfriend Juan, Emily finally decided to fess up and began to tell him what really happened to her after she left the Rave.