PUKE GOES BESERK!

Luke Da Puke Spencer as he kidnaps Nik Cassadine.

The week began where it left off. Luke Spencer was in Helena Cassadine's boudoir telling her he was going to kill her. Being a wily as Wile E. Coyote, Helena got out of that mess by telling Luke to go ahead and do it, because in the end she'll win. Then she revealed Faison programmed Lucky as some kind of doomsday machine if anything happens to her. Which caused Puke to take a hike, but it didn't stop him from wanting revenge. So in the fashion of an eye for an eye, he kidnapped Helena's grandson, Nikolas.

Luke threatening to kill Nik unless Helena tells him what he wants to know.

In a scene out of some horror movie, Nikolas Cassadine was in his cottage in the woods minding his own business, when Luke Spencer suddenly snuck up behind him and chloroformed him. Unknown by Mr. Spencer, Liz Webber saw him dragging Nikolas away. But not being the brightest bulb in the pack, instead of trying to help Mr. Cassadine, she ran around town like Chicken Little looking for Lucky Spencer to save the day.

In the meantime, Luke dragged the unconcscious Nikolas to Helena's yacht, where he threatened to strangle him with what looked like a piano wire unless Mrs. Cassadine told him what she had done to his boy. It's a pity Mr. Spencer didn't put this off for a few days, since if he'd had pulled this on Halloween he could have earned himself the reputation of being Port Charles answer to Freddy Krueger.

BAD MOTHER BOOBIE STRIKES AGAIN!

Carly decided she wanted to get a job, and one of the people she went to for one is her ever-devoted mama, Bobbie Spencer. Bobbie refused to hire her, and after she left she held a little hen party with Carly-haters, Tammy Carson, Lucky Spencer and Liz Webber about Carly wanting to work at Kelly's. Then she hustled her hooters over to her brother Luke's Club and made sure if Carly asked him for a job, he wouldn't give her one, either. Mother love, what a thing to behold.

IT'S HOOCHIE HANNAH'S BIRTHDAY; JUNYUR AND TAGGS HELP HER CELEBRATE

This week it was FBI Hooch Hannah Scott's birthday. Taggart gave her a pair of pom-poms and tickets to a football game for her birthday. Not one to be let out of the action, Junyur Quartermaine surprised Hannah with a birthday cake in his never-ending stalking/romancing of Ms. Scott. Taggart arrived at Kelly's in time to see Hannah blowing the candles out on her cake, and much to Junyur's disappointment, she left with Taggart and spent her birthday on a stakeout with him.

EMPTY-HEADED EMILY VOWS TO GET HER MAN OUT OF THE CAN

Emily playing spin doctor to Mac, Alan and Monica as she tries to convince them her drug-pusher kidnapper is one of the good guys.

The week began with date-rape drug pushing Zander being arrested for kidnapping Emily Q, not to mention murdering undercover cop, Ted. Emily Q when in high drive to get her man out of the can. She said that Zander didn't do it, since he told her he didn't, and couldn't understand why that wasn't enough for everyone to just give him a get out of jail card free. The concept that maybe he had lied to her just never entered her little brain.

When that didn't work she tried to hit up her family for the Free Zander Smith defense fund. Again, she couldn't understand why her family didn't want to help her with money to get her kidnapper out of jail. Then she tried to get her cousin Ned's future wife to be his lawyer. Next up was trying to pull a guilt-trip on her teen friends about how if they were in trouble, she'd help them. But she conveneintly forget after her precious Zander drugged her with the date rape drug, stripped her naked and stuck her in bed with a dead guy to make it look like she'd killed him, it was her friends who cleaned up the mess for her and saved her ungrateful hide. And when Liz Webber hrought up how Zander had drugged her with the date rape drug, Ms. Q took off in a huff.

Empty-Head visiting her man in the can.

Afterwards she rushed to see her man in the can and vowed to help get him out of jail. He told her to stay away from him for her own good. Ms. Q's boyfriend, who she suddenly decided she never really loved at all, but just hasn't gotten around to telling him, Juan, watched her holding hands with her kidnapper and confronted her when she came out from visiting her jailbird beau. She got snarky and copped an attitude, then Alexis Davis made her day by agreeing to help her hoodlum get off the hook.

NIK SHINES ON FLO!

Nik giving Flo a snowjob in regards to Gia.

What with Helena cutting him off financially, Nikolas needed a roommate to help him pay the rent. What with Gia wanting to stay in PC, Gia needed a place to live. Nik put two and two together and he and Gia decided to live together. But Gia said her mother must never no. So Nik gave Flo a real snowjob on where Gia was living, never mentioning she was living in his house with him.

LAURA DECIDES TO BUY DECEPTION

After quitting her job at the hospital, Laura Spencer was given an idea on what she could do with her life. Scott Baldwin suggested she buy Deception and Laura thought that was a great idea. She went to Edward for financing, but he wanted 65% of the profits. So she ended up on Sonny Corinthos' doorstep looking for money. Only problem was Sonny had a little condition to giving her the money. He wanted her to give his wife Carly a job. And that was something Laura just didn't want to do.