CHAPTER FORTY

BALLROOM, THE NURSES BALL:

Lucy(on stage)The ladies of the Bachelorette Auction will soon be coming out on stage so you can bid on them. You‘ll have a chance to spend the evening with Hannah Scott, Bobbie Spencer, Tammy Carson, Chloe Morgan, Alexis Davis and Amy Vining. But to make it a little more interesting all the ladies will be dressed alike so you won’t be able to tell just who you’re bidding on.

BACKSTAGE:

Andreas(watches as six woman wearing masks to conceal their face, dressed similarly, with similar wigs on come out of the dressing room)How am I supposed to tell which one is Tammy Carson? (he follows after them as they head towards the stage).

ONSTAGE:

Lucy: Now I want you to all remember this is for a good cause and to bid generously on these ladies.

BACKSTAGE:

Andreas(singles one of the women out)I’m sure that’s Ms. Carson. I’m positive of it. (she’s conveniently standing the last in line waiting to go on stage)

ONSTAGE:

Lucy: And now let’s get on with the show.(she steps out of the way and the curtain begins to rise)

BACKSTAGE:

Andreas(grabs the woman he’s positive is Tammy as the others walk out on stage)

ONSTAGE:

Sonny(in the audience as the curtain rises and Edward is seen surrounded by five women)Didn’t Lucy say there were supposed to be six women?

Carly: What do you care. You’re not going to be bidding on any of them.

Lucy(stands back counting the women)One, two, three, four, five...Where’s my sixth bachelorette?

Helena(smiles malevolently knowing exactly why there‘s only five ladies onstage)Excellent.

Stefan: What are you smiling about, Mother. You only smile when you’re making someone’s life a misery. Just what are you up to, this time.

Helena: Wouldn’t you like to know.

BACKSTAGE:

Andreas(drags the woman back inside the empty dressing room as the women on stage begin singing, Hey, Big Spender. The music and singing drowns out the woman’s screams as Andreas pulls the dildo out of his jacket pocket and rams it down her throat)

ONSTAGE:

Lucy(out of the view of the audience beckons Leticia whose acting as her dresser, this year)I want you to go backstage and find out where my sixth bachelorette is and tell her to get her butt out here, this minute.

Leticia: Yes, Ms. Coe.

Lucy: You tell her I won’t have my charity short-changed because she got second thoughts at the last minute.(Lucy studies the women on stage)Damn, why did I tell them to all dress alike. Now I can’t tell who is on stage and who isn’t.

BACKSTAGE:

Andreas(holds the woman tightly in his grip as she makes gagging noises and claws at her throat. Finally, her body goes limp and Andreas lets her fall to the floor face down)Goodbye, Ms. Carson.(he starts to head for the door when there’s suddenly a knock)

Leticia: Hello? Is anybody in there?

Andreas(looks around frantically not knowing what to do. Then he quickly removes his tie and begins to wrap it around his hands. If Leticia is foolish enough to enter he would have no choice but to strangle her. On the other side of the door, Leticia began to turn the knob)

ONSTAGE:

Lucy(comes out onstage clapping)Weren’t the ladies fantastic. Now it’s time for the Bachelorette Auction. Ladies, if you’d please line up. I know I promised you six ladies to bid on, but one of our ladies seems to have disappeared, so I guess we’ll only have five.

BACKSTAGE:

Leticia(hears what Lucy said from onstage and decides it’s too late to find the sixth bachelorette and changes her mind about going into the dressing room. She heads back to her post to wait for Lucy’s next dress change. Inside the dressing room Andreas breathes a sigh of relief and slips out of the dressing room unseen.)

ONSTAGE:

Lucy: Going once, going twice. Bachelorette number one is sold to Mike Corbin. Bachelorette number one please reveal your identity. (she rips off her mask and wig. It’s Amy.)

Sonny: Mike, why would you bid on Amy Vining.

Mike: I thought it was Tammy.

Carly: Well, you’re stuck with her now.

Lucy: Come on up here, Mike, and collect your lady. Now it’s time to bid on bachelorette number two.

Andreas(slips into the seat next to Helena’s)It’s done, Madam.

Helena(smiles)Excellent.

Stefan(turns to Helena and Andreas)Just what’s done, Andreas?

Helena: I thought you said you intended to ignore me. Then why don’t you do so.

Mike(and Amy sit back down at Sonny’s table)Maybe that’s Tammy.

Sonny: That really says a lot for you that you can’t even tell which one of them she is.

Mike: Well you know what they say. All women look alike in the dark.

Sonny: Remind me to tell Tammy you said that.

Stefan(raises his hand)I bid one thousand dollars.

Helena: Stefan, how dare you. You’ve been living around these peasants for too long. How dare you bid on that trollop.

Stefan: Then you know who it is?

Helena: What is that supposed to mean?

Stefan: Wouldn’t you like to know.

Carly: Wouldn’t it be something if Cassadine ended up with a hooker.

Sonny: What’s the big deal. He was already married to one.

Carly(punches him in the arm)Hey, that’s my mother you’re talking about.

Ned: I bid five thousand.

Stefan: Six.

Ned: Seven.

Stefan: I bid twenty-five thousand.

Emily(stops Ned from raising his hand)Ned, what’s wrong with you. What is Alexis going to say when she finds out.

Ned; Emily, that is Alexis. That’s why Cassadine is bidding on her. I warned him to stay away from her, but he didn’t take my warning seriously. Now that they’re not related any longer there’s no telling what he’s going to pull.

Emily: Ned, that is not Alexis.

Ned: How can you be sure.

Emily: Look at her chest.

Ned:(eyes widen as he does just that) Oh, I see what you mean.

Lucy: Going once, going twice. Bachelorette number two is sold to Stefan Cassadine. Please reveal your identity.

Helena(glares as Bobbie pulls off her mask and wig)You bid on a Spencer. Oh, Stefan, how could you.(he just smirks at her as he goes to collect his prize)

Lucy: Now it’s time to bid on bachelorette number three.

Bobbie:(glares at him as he helps her down from the stage)How did you know it was me.

Stefan(stares down at her chest boldly)Barbara, you have certain distinguishing features that can’t be disguised by a wig and a mask. Shall we return to my table?

Bobbie: Sit the rest of the evening with your mother? Thanks but no thanks. Why don’t we just leave.

Stefan: I never thought you’d ask.

Sonny(raises his hand)I’ll bid ten thousand.

Carly(yanks his arm down)I thought I told you not to bid on any of those women.

Sonny: When she removes her mask you’ll see why I did.

Carly: That had better not be the Banana or your banana is going to rot off the tree before you get any sex from me, again.

Lucy: Going once, going twice. Sold to Sonny Corinthos.

Carly:(watches as the woman removes her mask)It’s Tammy.

Sonny(smirks at Mike)See, Mike, some of us can actually tell the difference between a woman in the dark. (he heads up to collect Tammy)I’ll be right back.

Helena(turns to a shocked Andreas)I thought you said you’d killed her.

Andreas: I was sure I did. Madam, they were all dressed alike. I couldn’t tell them apart, but I thought I had the right one. My god, Madam, I must have killed the wrong one.