| It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To... |
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 For most observers of the situation in the Six Counties, there is one
loyalist that stands out, head and belly above the rest: Rev. Ian Paisley, Sr.
The self-styled preacher of God's word, (and according to the Rev., God says lie
Down), is a perennial ruckus raiser in the minds of almost everyone. Most
Unionists politicians are hard pressed to find redeeming qualities in the Rev.,
and strive to distance themselves from the Arch-Bigot. |
| It's no wonder then, that during the elections in May, Big Ian spent
most of his time hurling (no pun intended) vast gobs of mud in the direction of
Trimble and company, while David tried in vain to cast the best light possible
on the video of he and Ian at Drumcree 1996, arm in arm. In the Republican
movement, Ian is considered the best recruiter the provo's ever had, and they're
right. People like Ian are described in media criticism circles as TV whores,
and in political circles, buffoons. They draw so much attention to themselves,
that other politicians play a game of political "chicken", seeing how
close they can get to the "whore" without actually getting sucked into
the whore's gravitational pull. |
| There is some good in having 'ole Ian around, he reminds us that no
matter how bad things are, they could be worse, but for the most part, Rev. Ian
Paisley, Sr. does nothing but provide cover for the "closeted"
hard-liners of the UUP. Compared to Paisley, just about anyone would seem
moderate, and comparing David Trimble to the likes seems to be like comparing
apples to oranges. In reality, the comparison is actually more like comparing
oranges to oranges. (pun intended) |
| David Trimble is Ian Paisley with a muzzle on. Mr. Trimble holds
just as many extreme Loyalist views as Big Ian, he just knows when to keep his
mouth shut. Before Trimble burst into the UUP spotlight, he was a mild-mannered
university lecturer, who had just written a pamphlet calling for an Independent
Ulster, and raising the possibility of annexing the "rest of Ulster"
which had apparently been stolen from their birthright by a bunch of croppies or
something. Let's not forget that Mr. Trimble, while seemingly cool and
collected, has been unable in the past to answer simple questions at US press
conferences; he just stood there, turned beet-red, and shook. Geesh, you'd
think he would of just sang that chorus of "Croppies Lie Down" like
the nice reporter asked him. |
| What we are trying to say with the rambling diatribe is that no
matter how many times political pundits try and paint one Unionist party as "moderate",
Unionism is inherently a radical belief system. Calling a Unionist "moderate"
is akin to calling someone "partially pregnant." |
